Looking For Love
by xX-Misty
Summary: It's July 1998 and after a lengthy and fraught engagement Alex and Gene are looking forward to their long-awaited nuptials but encounter the most unexpected hitch of all along the way. Meanwhile, the body of a teenage girl discovered in woodland distracts the rest of CID as they attempt to give Alex and Gene the greatest wedding present possible.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

"_...I woke up on a boat in the middle of a scene of eighties extravagance and debauchery, with my eyelids so heavily caked in make-up I could barely force them open. I felt more lost, scared and alone than I ever had in my life and I ran... I ran and tried to find safety, and by chance I did, and it was you. Immediately you became my safety, my security and my strength. I fought it, and I fought you every step of the way. I fought against a world and a life that felt so strange and so crazy but all I was fighting in the end was my own happiness. And even when I admitted that - in you - I'd found everything I never knew that I was looking for it seemed as though I'd left it too late. We both had. So, I took a leap of faith... and I landed right there, in the life that has made burn with joy, with desire and with devotion ever since, with the man who has made me happy every single day. And for so long we thought the bubble could burst at any moment... we wasted years by waiting for the worst... and when we stopped waiting for it, the worst happened. But all it did was strengthen our bond. All it did was to show me once and for all that I belong with you. This is where I want to spend the rest of my life. With you, by your side. Although we have been through some very hard times nothing has ever been strong enough to pull us apart because the attraction between us is unbreakable. You have taught me so many things. Trust. Love. Passion. But most of all you've taught me that life can take you In the most unexpected directions. Sometimes you can't help which way you fall. I am eternally grateful that it was in your direction I fell."_

Gene stared at Alex. He lifted his glass and took a mouthful of rough red wine.

"I'm still not writing me own bloody vows," he told her and Alex groaned, lowering her sheet of paper.

"You don't have to write something that long or sentimental," she told him, clambering onto the couch beside him.

"Just as well, I'd make meself vomit over the pulpit."

"There's not going to _be_ a pulpit, we're marrying in the chapel," Alex reminded him

"I'm still not writing me own vows," Gene told her.

"Spoilsport," Alex pulled her legs up onto the couch and picked up her glass. "Even for nieteen ninety eight the traditional vows are outdated," she told him.

"Why?" Gene asked, scanning Alex's sheet of paper, "something in it about not mincing her man's sausage in a mangle?"

Alex rolled her eyes.

"You're not getting me to say _obey_ for a start," she told him, "_Love, honour and obey._ That's the line."

"Love, honor, obey and bonk," Gene said, "there. Is that better?"

"The last one is something you won't be doing if you make me say the full traditional vow," Alex told him.

Gene pulled Alex closer and looked at her, slightly pie-eyed. There had been a lot of wine and scotch on the go that evening and his defences were uncharacteristically low.

"Come here, Bolly," he said.

Alex looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm not doing anything with chocolate body paint until you find a way to get the stains out the carpet from _last_ time," she said.

Gene looked at Alex, _really_ looked at her. It wasn't something he had the chance to do very much these days. Not like he did back before they were anything more than friends; when he used to watch her through his office door, when he would stare at her across the table over a bottle of red at Luigi's, as she sat by his side in the Quattro, then the Merc, then the Fiat... He remembered the days he'd spent examining every part of her body, every inch of her face, committing her expressions to memory. Not that he'd ever told her. Not that he ever would.

"You and me, Lady B," he said, "we've made it this far. We don't need a load of fancy words or a bloody volume of poetry to prove it. I'm not one for words unless they've got four letters and result in Shoebury leaving the room, pissed off and swearing under his breath. But you don't need me to tell you how I feel. Shouldn't do anyway. Nor should the stuffy idiots in suits lines up to watch me slip a ring on that finger of yours."

Alex looked at Gene for a very long time. She stared right into his eyes, so familiar, the blue she knew so well. There was a strange smile on her face, so tiny and slight but there none the less. Gene wondered what that was in aid of and she had been quiet for so long that he was almost too afraid to ask but she finally spoke up.

"Then that's what you need to say," she told him. He looked at her blankly. "Your vows," Alex brought the glass to her lips which were as red as the liquid she sipped as she told him, "that's what you need to say. That we don't need the words. Because you are right, Gene," her smile grew a little stronger, "I do know."

Gene stared back, nodding slowly. He considered what she'd said for a moment as he drank the rest of his wine and sat down his glass. He picked up Alex's vows again and indicated a little doodle in the corner of the sheet.

"I see you took the time to illustrate yours," He pointed out.

"Well, not so much for the vows," Alex felt herself turning pink, "that's more an illustration to show what comes afterwards."

Gene raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe yer time with the Gene Genie is paying off after all," he said. He saw Alex looking a little coy as she gave an innocent shrug and drank a lot of wine. "These wedding things," he began, "aren't we supposed to rehearse or something?"

"Rehearsal dinner," Alex told him, "I think it's more, of an American thing."

"Shame," Gene told her, "I was hoping we could get in a bit of practice for the honeymoon."

Alex raised her eyebrow, downed her wine and replaced her glass.

"Well," she began slowly, "I think, considering the fact that we'll only get one honeymoon and need to do it right, a good night of practice is in order." she got to her feet and widened her eyes. "No time like the present," she told him.

As he saw her heading towards the bedroom Gene couldn't help but agree.

**~xXx~**

_**A/N: Finally after 2 and a half years of engagement and god knows how many stories Alex and Gene's nuptials are approaching! This story will be more light-hearted for a bit of comic relief after the last dark tale. This fic will also be updated on a far more relaxed schedule than the last *breathes a sigh of relief***_

_**Thanks again to Jess for helping me pick a title for this fic from my shortlist, and thank you to all of you who have followed the series this far! Do you really need the disclaimer by now? I don't own A2A, never have and never will, and if anyone tries to suggest otherwise Simon will chase them with his crappy jumper :P**_


	2. Chapter 1: Corpses, Committee & Catering

**Chapter 1**

"Aw... my babies are all grown up," Kim said proudly as she surveyed the scene, only to receive the angriest glare that Gene had ever given her.

"You watch who you're calling a baby, Stringer," he barked, "only sort of bottle I'm going to be shoving in my oral cavity is a full one of scotch."

Kim rolled her eyes and sighed as she walked away.

"That was supposed to be a compliment," she called back, "believe it or not." That wasn't something she gave all that often, or willingly.

It was true though. Watching Gene and Alex as they pored over the menu for their wedding reception gave her a strange sense of pride. To a degree both Gene and Alex were immature in their own ways. For a long time the fickle nature of Alex's presence in the world had left her a little like an interloper and she and Gene had been too cautious to make too many ties. As for Gene, in a lot of ways he'd refused to grow up. His prised collection of trendy toys from the past three Christmases went to show that as much as anything. But here they were, planning the biggest day of their lives. Kim felt strangely motherly towards them despite being younger than both.

In fact, she was feeling strangely motherly to various souls in the station. Her team were finally bonding properly, despite her DC's tendency to staple his tie accidentally to paperwork and her DS having a slight fixation on Simon's backside. Even Em had relaxed notably since her birthday. As soon as the next day arrived she looked as though a weight had lifted from her shoulders. When Kim had asked, all the woman could say was '_What a difference a day makes_'. Kim was confused but didn't like to question it any more deeply than that. Perhaps Em was just one of those people who hated getting older.

She walked through CID glancing back over her shoulder to make sure no one was on her trail and peered through the doorway to Simon's office.

"_Oi,"_ she hissed and Simon glanced up, "Meeting. Eleven thirty."

"Isn't that supposed to be Diet Coke break?" Simon asked, the old advert coming to mind.

Kim rolled her eyes.

"It'll be a _dying Simon break_ if you're late," she told him, "meet us in Rob's office, away from prying eyes." she nodded back towards the main office and Simon nodded.

"Gotcha," he said.

~xXx~

"I don't trust her."

Alex had been busy comparing the virtues of tomato and minestrone soup so Gene's comment seemed out of place.

"The caterer?"

"Metal Mickey," Gene scowled, "she was smiling."

"Even Kim smiles sometimes," Alex told him.

"Not unless she's been watching your backside from across the office," Gene mumbled.

"Oh shush," Alex sighed, placing a sheet of paper in front of him, "leave Kim alone and help me pick a dessert."

"What's wrong with a bowl of soft scoop vanilla and a couple of wafers?" Gene asked, "I can do that meself, not have to pay someone half me year's wages for the privilege."

"Last time you got into the soft scoop ice cream it took us a week to get the sheets clean," Alex coughed innocently. She gave a sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. "Come _on_ Gene, they need to know today. We should have given them the answer _weeks_ ago. We've had six _months_ to plan this!"

"had eighteen ruddy years to plan it," Gene muttered under his breath. He sighed at the sheet of deserts. "Pick the poshest one and the least fancy-arsed one. Something for everyone."

"Except the people who don't like tiramisu and a knickerbockerglory with a topping in the shape of an arse," Alex sighed. "This isn't supposed to be so hard, I'm fairly sure about that."

The sound of Gene's phone ringing pulled their attention away from the torturous menus for a moment.

"That'll be the pudding police on our backs," he mumbled getting to his feet.

Alex smiled tiredly to herself as she looked over the papers in front of them. Their wedding had been a long time coming and it felt very surreal to think they were so close to the day. The puddings and the soups and the stupid fancy name labels were just the peripherals. They'd mattered a lot more to Alex the first time around. Maybe because the man she'd married back then mattered a lot less?

She stared at the ring on her finger, trying to picture a second beside it and smiled distantly. They'd taken a while to get their but a whole phase of life was ending and a new one about to begin – if they could get through the stumbling block of desserts first.

~xXx~

"I call this meeting of the official _Best Wedding Present Ever_ committee _open."_

Simon frowned as Kim banged a hammer on the table.

"You only called us a committee because you wanted to pretend you had a gavel," he told her.

"That s not important," she scowled.

"And anyway, this meeting is stupid," Simon told her, "you know what's going to happen. No matter _what_ we give him it's going to end up with me thrown against the filing cabinet in anger."

"Well, me and Rob think we've actually cracked this one," Kim told him, "we had an idea last night. The thing is, we have no idea how to put it into practice."

Simon looked expectantly from one to the other.

"i'm all ears," he said.

Robin and Kim glanced at one another a little nervously.

"What's Gene most upset about concerning the wedding?" Robin began.

Simon considered.

"The fact that the caterer refused to rename the melon balls '_Melon Bollocks'?_" he asked.

"OK, _second_ thing." He watched while Simon made a vague attempt at thinking but realised his mind had gone blank. "not having their old team there."

"All the people Alex and Gene have helped over the years," Kim continued, "and you." She was well aware that of the three of them Simon was the only one who'd helped souls move on. Both she and Robin dreaded the arrival of that day in their own lives.

"Gene asked Sam to go to the wedding and he couldn't," Simon told them, "they can't leave."

"Not usually, no," Kim had a devilish look in her eye.

Simon gulped.

"Why am I suddenly very scared?" he asked.

"It's happened at _least_ three times that we know of," Kim told him, "something breaks time and the pub opens its doors."

"Yeah, and then we have to go crazy rounding them all up and dragging them back!" Simon cried, "_Once_ was bad enough, _twice_ was a nightmare. By the third time I was thinking of getting a metaphysical _padlock_ fitted to make sure they can't escape again!"

"But _imagine_ it!" cried Kim, "all their friends -"

"They _can't_ go to the wedding!" cried Simon, "imagine trying to explain to people like Marci how come her old boyfriend is back from the dead?"

"No, you _are_ right," Robin told him, "they wouldn't be able to go to the wedding."

"We were thinking of the night before," Kim explained, "or one of the nights before. Like a weird hen and stag party of epic proportions!"

"With Gene drunkenly telling Sam he wished _he_ had best man duties instead of me? No thank you," Simon mumbled.

"Oh god, Si, what have you got against him?" cried Robin.

"He called me a _prat!" _Simon cried

"That was a _very_ long time ago," Kim sighed.

"Then he's had plenty of time to make his apology, hasn't he?" cried Simon.

"It's not about you," Robin pointed out, "it's about giving them something they'll really love and never forget."

"As long as we don't have to pick up the tab at the bar," Kim pointed out.

"Yes, exactly," Robin agreed.

Simon stared at them both, trying to hold back a deep sigh. He didn't want to be the voice of doom but he had to point out,

"If we were to make this happen we'd have to – _break time,_" he shook his head, "aside from stomping on a couple of clocks have either of you got any idea how to make that possible?"

"That's why we're having this meeting," Kim pointed out, "so we can all think about it together."

"Oh great, so three of us can blow a fuse trying to do the impossible."

"Just think about it, Simon," Robin urged him, "one of us will surely have to think of a way."

"it would be a fantastic present, you have to admit that at least."

Simon hung his head a little and nodded. He did have to agree with that. The thought of putting it into practice was the part that scared him.

"Alright " he said quietly, "I'll get my thinking cap on."

"As long as it doesn't match the jumper that's _great_ news," said Kim. She got to her feet then picked up the hammer, almost crushing Simon's fingers as she thwacked it on the desk. "Meeting adjourned!"

"_Fingers_ adjourned," Simon mumbled anxiously.

~xXx~

"_Stringer_!"

Kim froze mid-step as Gene barked out her name upon her return to CID. Oh _god_, what had she done now?

"Problem, Guv?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Got a fun afternoon planned for you," Gene told her, beckoning her towards his office, She gave a highly reluctant sigh and followed him

"If you're about to ask me to help with the floral arrangements it'll take me less than ten minutes to get my piercing gun," she warned but Gene simply pointed to a seat and returned to his own side of the desk. He looked a little awkward and had a strained look on his face.

"Took a call from the barrel of weeds they call Surrey Police," he began, "Got a case and requested your services."

Kim frowned.

"What?"

"Asked for you by name," Gene told her, then paused, "well, not _actually_ by name..." he checked the note he'd made on the pad by his desk, "_the rottweiler with the tattoos who will take no crap and clearly kick every arse in a five mile radius."_ He laid down the paper and looked at her. "Apparenlty you made quite the impression when you were fondling Shoebury's nuts."

The disgusted look on Kim's face was worth the joke alone.

"Squirrel gags are _so_ last month," she warned him.

Gene ignored her.

"Body's turned up in woodland near the school of art and design."

"Oh, not the art college again," Kim groaned.

"Surrey police have drawn a blank," Gene told her, "can't identify her, can't find out what happened to her, can't find out who did it."

"I don't understand why they asked for me."

"They're under pressure for a result on this one. They want someone who'll get the job done."

Kim sighed internally.

"It doesn't come under my remit though," she told him.

"Yes it does," Gene looked grim, "there's evidence of sexual assault."

Kim froze.

"Oh," she said quietly. She shuffled a little. "Any suspects?"

"None."

"Witnesses?" She tried. Gene shook his head. "ID on the girl?"

Gene gave a hefty sigh.

"She can't be identified," he told her.

"What do you mean?"

"Couldn't get her prints, couldn't get anything usable from attempts to extract DNA, couldn't find who she was by cross-matching her dental records with missing persons."

"Cause of death?" Kim asked with a frown.

"No identified cause of death."

"Autopsy results?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come _on_, give me a _break!"_ Kim cried.

"See why they nee a rottweiler who'd good at kicking arses now?" Gene asked and Kim groaned.

"They want me to drive all the way to Surrey for this?" she demanded and Gene nodded, "_great_. That's what I wanted to be doing with my day." She got to her feet. "Tell them I'll head there straight after lunch."

"Nope," Gene folded his arms, "how about you go now and I don't charge you rent for every time you've locked lips with me missus since you've been back in the land of the un-living?" he glared at her over his desk.

"Oh _what?!" _Kim cried, "that was only like three times!"

"Four," Gene scowled, "I'm counting truth or dare."

Kim narrowed her eyes at him but had a feeling it was easier to give in now than spend a day arguing with him.

"Fine," she mumbled, "I'll go now. _Sayonara lunch. Goodbye, dear sandwich. _Happy?"

"Deliriously."

Kim stomped to the door, glancing behind her as she left.

"And by the way," she began, "it's ten miles."

Gene frowned.

"What?"

"I kick all arses in a _ten_ mile radius," she told him, "tell them to get their facts straight."

Gene breathed a sigh of relief as Kim left which soon faded when the phone started to ring.

"If this is for the rottweiler as well they can come and muzzle her themselves," he mumbled as he answered it. "Yes? What?" he listened for a few moments, his brow becoming increasingly puckered and his eyes narrowing until he put down the receiver with only one word. "_Bugger_." He closed his eyes and took a very deep breath. This breath was followed by a series of very deep breaths. Still they did nothing to quell the furious tremble in his bones. He finally walked from his office where Alex was still leafing through dessert ideas. "Bolly."

Alex looked up.

"What is it?" she asked.

Gene shuffled and pulled a face.

"There's a hitch with our getting hitched," he told her.

Alex's face began to fall.

"What?" she whispered.

Gene folded his arms.

"There's a dead vicar on a slab and an empty chapel," he told her.

Alex stared at him, her mouth slightly open. She tried to think of something profound or meaningful to say but in the end there was only one word for it.

"Bugger." she frowned "I have _definitely_ been living with you for too long."


	3. Chapter 2: Hell, Hunger & Holy Relics

**Chapter 2**

Alex sat, in stoney silence, waiting for the punchline.

It was a joke. It _had_ to be a joke. Something about religion being a dead concept maybe? She truly thought Gene was about to wipe away all trace of his previous statement with a quip but all she found was a frustrated stare in her direction.

"You weren't joking then?" she asked, her nerves bristling.

"Nope."

"And it's definitely _our_ vicar?"

"That's why we got the call. Church was killing two birds with one stone," Gene told her, _"sorry, yer vicar's dead. By the way, can you come and find out who killed the bugger? Thank you kindly."_

Alex felt her spirit crumbling.

"Does this mean they've cancelled our wedding?" she was almost scared to hear the answer to the question.

"Didn't _say_ they were," Gene told her, "Got to be able to rake up a spare vicar from somewhere for us. Drag one out of mothballs."

"Why are we even marrying in a church?" Alex asked him, getting to her feet, "We were booking the registry office! We've both been through this before. It's not as though either of us are religious."

Gene sighed.

"_Because_," he began, "the chapel was closer to the off licence than the registry office was," he pointed out. Sighing, he shook his head. "Which we might need to take advantage of after we've gone to take a look at the scene. Blunt object over the head, hymn books everywhere, holy water as far as the eye can see..." he saw Alex looking at him strangely. "Actually no idea what we're going to find," he admitted, "I'm just having a guess."

"Well _don't!"_ Alex shuddered, "I'm pretty sure you'll border on blasphemy on at least three occasions over the course of today, let's not make a head start on your journey to a Keats-like haven."

~xXx~

"_If I'm sacrificing my sandwich this had better be good,_" Kim muttered to herself as she pulled up into the quiet little car park. After the trauma of the previous month's road safety lectures Kim had never wanted to find herself back in Surrey again, let alone parked outside of a police station that looked as though it was usually more concerned with finding lost cats than proper police work.

The sandwich had become something of a fixation over the course of her journey southward. It wasn't as though it was one of those sprout-infested monstrosities that Simon sometimes bought from the canteen; this was a sandwich of epic proportions, created at the loving hands of Robin from the previous day's leftovers and turned into a multi-layered masterpiece. She had to admit that in comparison to the sandwich of the gods the discovery of an unidentified corpse didn't seem like a very important event.

She was met on her way in by a rather severe-looking woman with her hair scraped back into the kind of ponytail that could only be loosened with a blowtorch. She seemed wary of Kim, eyeing her piercings and the ink just visible through her shirt, but her track record spoke for itself and she decided to ignore the ink.

"We've reached a dead end," she began seriously, leading Kim through a corridor, "we have nothing. No leads, no witnesses -" they arrived in an office which was smaller and quieter than any part of Fenchurch East and led Kim across to a desk, "the pressure's on. We're not used to dealing with this sort of crime. Reigate doesn't have a homicide department."

"I'm going to need three pieces of information from you," Kim told her, "how the body was discovered, what the autopsy said, and -" a loud, lengthy growl from her stomach cut her off with embarrassment and frustration. She shuffled crossly and folded her arms across her empty guts, "and the location of your station canteen," she said, her face reddening quickly.

"The body was discovered two weeks ago," the detective told her, "by a couple of youths who'd slipped into the woods for a little privacy. Had a fumble between the trees and found more than they bargained for."

"Nice," Kim wrinkled up her nose.

"Because of the heat increasing the rate of decay it's impossible to pinpoint for certain how long it had been there. The closest estimate we have is that she died in the first few days of the month. Somewhere between the first and the third of July. Identifying her has so far proven impossible. We were unable to obtain her fingerprints, her dental records have brought no matches and we were unable to get a result from DNA testing.

"There were no matches?" Kim asked.

"No, I mean there was no result," the detective told her, "the test came up invalid."

Kim blinked.

"And you ran it again?"

"Eight different times, eight different samples," the woman told her, "we sent samples to other labs with better equipment, same result."

"You did say the decay was -"

"It wasn't that bad. There should have been plenty to work with. But the test didn't work, almost as though she was a blank tape playing in a video recorder."

"Shit," Kim breathed, biting her lip as she realised the stuffy detective was looking at her disapprovingly. She cleared her throat. "What about the autopsy results?" she asked and the detective handed her a file.

"No determinable cause of death," she sighed.

"Nothing at all?" Kim asked incredulously.

"Nothing. No life threatening injuries, no sign of heart attack or stroke, nothing on the tox screen."

"What _did_ the autopsy show?" Kim felt bewildered.

"Very little, and nothing to pinpoint what happened to the girl," she said, "age estimated at late teens, possibly eighteen years old. There are several colleges in the immediate area. She seems in every way to have been a perfectly healthy young woman."

"The call said there were signs of sexual assault?" Kim prompted.

"Yes," the detective flipped through the file, "it looks as though he used his hand... fingers. There were scratches that could have been made by finger nails, as well as bruising. It was difficult to get a clear picture of what happened because of the presence of menstrual blood." She flicked over a page and a shot of the corpse greeted Kim who seemed to be feeling uncharacteristically squeamish that day. Involuntarily she clutched her stomach and swallowed hard, attempting not to retch. When she was certain the sudden nausea had passed she shuddered.

"Well _that_ negates the need for directions to the canteen," she said.

The detective seemed a little concerned.

"Sorry," she said.

Kim took a few deep breaths, her stomach churning. She surreptitiously closed the file to make sure she was safe from an encore before continuing with her questions. "And there have been no witnesses coming forward? No one saw anything unusual? Suspicious?" the detective shook her head. "No DNA from the suspect? "

"We have less information than an episode of _Dispatches_," the detective told her, "Please, DCI Stringer, we are desperate for a result on this one. There are many schools and colleges in this postcode alone. Until we can establish a firm cause of death there's a possibility that there's a murderer out there, and at very least there is a sex attacker on the loose. This is a quiet town, there are a lot of anxious parents out there."

"I understand," Kim told her, She took a deep breath, trying to take in the weird situation. "Alright. Give me everything you have so far and Ill take it back to put my team onto it."

"Thank you," the detective told her, breathing a sigh of relief. She dipped under the desk, pulled out a large pile of folders and walloped them into Kim's hands. "Here you go."

Kim staggered a little under the weight.

"Great," she scowled, "looks like I'll have an excuse not to sleep for a week at any rate."

~xXx~

Gene hummed the funeral march as they walked down the aisle towards the murder scene.

"_Tactful_, Gene, _tactful_," Alex cried in horror.

"I was practising for saturday!" Gene protested.

"That was the _funeral_ march, not the _wedding_ one," Alex pointed out.

Gene froze.

"Bugger," he mumbled, "got them the wrong way round. No wonder everyone was staring when we went to the funeral of the copper who snuffed it after eating the sprouts last year."

"Can we just get this over with and get back?" Marci seemed twitchy as they walked and Gene didn't like her tone. He turned around with a scowl.

"I'm sorry, DC _Not-so-Nicey Spice?"_ he stopped walking and turned around to throw a glare in her direction, "am I keeping you from yer very important business of staring at yer phone and swearing when it doesn't play a merry little tune at you? Stopping you from sharpening yer claws and laying into innocent bystanders who breathe too hard?"

"_Gene," _Alex began, rolling her eyes,

"I've had enough of your attitude shift," he barked at Marci, "I preferred it when you were boiling ten pints of _tea_ per minute! Now I don't care if you've got sand in yer pants giving you the grumps or if you need to get back to stick yer phone in the wall and make it glow -"

"_It's called recharging,"_ Alex said quietly in a slightly sing-song voice, wishing to disappear into the ground.

"...We're in a bloody house of God, so _act_ like it!"

Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Marci blinked, looking a little bit shocked and Jake was torn between apologising to Gene for Marci's behaviour and vice versa. Eventually silence reigned supreme and eventually Gene huffed, turned and continued the walk to the front of the church where two uniformed officers were already waiting, along with someone in a dog collar.

"Guv," one of the officers nodded, "thanks for coming so quickly."

"Someone does away with our vicar, I'm not gonna hang around to make a round of toast first, _am_ I?" Gene snapped. He put his hands on his hips and huffed again.

"Can you bring us up to speed on what you have so far?" Alex prompted.

"Severe head injury," the officer told her, "looks like he was struck several times with a blunt object, possibly one of the decorative figures of the Virgin Mary."

"_Blimey,_" Gene sighed, "one minute you're pushing out the Lord Jesus from between your thighs, the next you're clobbering the lord's worker round the head."

"it looks like he went down after the first strike and hit his head on the pulpit, the officer told him, "he lost consciousness and died, it appears, from loss of blood." He led them a few steps further and they found themselves faced with a red sea.

"_Holy shit,"_ Jake cried, a hand reaching to his mouth.

"_Jesus Christ!_" cried Marci, turning away.

"Even without Jimbo on the scene me team are on a fast-track to Hades!" he cried.

"Lot of blood for this kind of injury," Alex commented as she knelt down beside the body.

"He had a clotting disorder, apparently," the officer told them, "If he was knocked out cold then he couldn't seek medical attention. He died before anyone found him."

"Poor sod," Gene commented, reaching for his flask, "when the angel Gabriel came unto Mary I don't think for one bleedin' minute he said _'you will give birth to the son of god, then clobber a vicar around the head for an encore.'"_

"Can we just get on with this before any further blasphemy occurs?" Alex pleaded with a sigh and a hand to the head. She shook her head as she stared at a blood-splattered Virgin Mary and gave a sigh. "Religion has always been a dangerous subject," she commented, "but this is _really_ taking the piss."


	4. Chapter 3: Shouting, Sadness & Suspects

_**A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates, my laptop keyboard isn't working so I've had to get a replacement!**_

**~xXx~**

**Chapter 3**

Kim struggled under the weight of the pile of papers in her arms as she walked back towards her office. She peered into CID, curious to see Em scribbling away with half of CID and a rather elderly woman gathered around her.

"What's going on?" she demanded, "who let you borrow members of my team?"

"My thirst for artistic knowledge did," Gene told her and Kim rolled her eyes. She walked towards the hub of activity and peered at the photo-fit taking shape before them.

"No, his eyes were narrower," the elderly woman told Em, "slitty. _Suspicious_."

"Who exactly _is_ the man with the slitty, suspicious eyes?" Kim asked.

"Kim, we've had a bit of... misfortune," Alex began, "our vicar..."

"Clobbered round the 'ed with the mother of Christ," Gene interrupted.

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Struck on the temple by a blunt object," she said.

"That's what I said."

"In blasphemous terms!"

"Hang on," Kim dropped the papers on a nearby desk to give then strange situation more attention, "someone killed your vicar?" she rubbed her forehead. The whole thing was giving her a headache, "when did this happen?"

"Today," Alex told her.

"And your wedding...?"

Gene looked up at Kim, scowling.

"Is still on," he warned, "so keep yer pierced mitts off."

Alex swatted Gene out of the way before he could risk getting a scalping from Kim.

"They're looking for a replacement," she told Kim, "it shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh good," Kim breathed a sigh of relief, "Robin's been crying over your wedding cake for the past week, having nightmares about getting crushed by iced tiers. I didn't want to be the one to break it to him if all his hard work went to nothing!"

"What about the nose?" Em asked the woman who pointed to the sketch.

"You got that part just right," the stranger said.

"And this is..."? Kim asked nosily.

"Mrs Pearson," Alex told her, "she's the cleaner at the church. She saw the deceased having a heated argument with a man earlier on in the day. She's come to give us the description.

"Patrick was such a nice man," Mrs Pearson piped up.

"That's our friendly neighbourhood headless vicar," Gene pointed out unnecessarily, looking more uncomfortable by the moment.

"He's not headless!" Alex cried, "head-squashed, maybe..."

"I can't think why anyone would want to do such a terrible thing to him," the woman sighed and shook her head.

"Well that's what we're here to find out," Alex told her gently.

The tranquillity of the moment was disturbed slightly by Marci's heated conversation on her mobile phone in the corner of the office. A conversation that had started out as whispered and discrete had quickly become inflamed as the sound of Marci's once gentle voice barking;

"_Screw you then! Fucking screw you!"_

To the horror of Jake sat nearby making an internal call she threw her mobile to the ground where the battery bounced out across the floor before she turned and marched frantically from the office, leaving her best friend to scramble frantically to his feet.

"_Marci!"_ he called after her anxiously, "Marci, wai-" he began to follow but the cord of the phone and the urgent voice on the line pinged him back. He groaned and rolled his eyes, torn between his work ethic which wouldn't let him leave and the pain in his heart as he watched his oldest friend... best friend... closest confidante... slipping away from him. "_Yes_," he breathed into the phone, trying to calm down, "Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm still here." he closed his eyes momentarily, "one of my colleagues... had a problem. But I'm still here, go ahead."

In the aftermath of her outburst no one was quite sure what to say for a moment. Mrs Pearson glanced from one detective to another, awaiting an explanation and potential apology, Jake tried to keep his mind on the call but his hand was visibly shaking, Gene looked as though he was about to explode the next time he laid eyes on her and both Alex and Kim stared at one another, wide eyed in shock. Marci's behaviour had been increasingly erratic for some weeks but they'd never heard her speak like that before and neither wanted to again.

"Bloody hell, where's _that_ temper been hiding all this time?" Kim whispered. She watched

Alex shake her head, completely baffled, then glanced at Em who looked terrified as though Marci was about to come back and start lopping off heads left, right and centre. She gave a sigh and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, you'll be out this office in a minute and away from the volcano," she told her and Em looked somewhat put out.

"I just wasn't expecting it, that's all," she frowned.

Gene still looked like his anger was on the verge of bursting forth with a similar velocity to Marci's. He practically shook as he growled,

"The next time that spice reject shows her face in here I'm going to slap it from here to John O'Groats!" He took a deep breath in a vague attempt to calm down then swiped the almost completed photofit from the desk. "So what do we have here?" he demanded, " anther bloody Pete Sampras tribute!"

Em's bloody ran cold.

"_What?"_ she whispered, Gene's words catching her off-guard and sending a dark feeling into the pit of her stomach.

"All yer photofits look like Pete bloody Sampras," Gnee barked, "I'm running a criminal investigation, not a tennis appreciation society!"

"I thought her drawing was spot on," Mrs Pearson told him. He paused and thought carefully momentarily. "I don't think he was arguing with Sampras though."

"Yeah, well," Gene grunted crossly, "no one expects the world number one to come and clobber a valued member of the cloth in broad daylight."

"Guv," Jake walked awkwardly towards the gathering, still shaken by Marci's outburst and concerned that he was about to bear the brunt of Genes fury, "got news on your dead vicar. Apparently he wasn't quite the God-fearing saint we've been led to believe."

Gene looked at Jake, then down at Mrs Pearson.

"Your friend got the devil on one shoulder?" he asked and Mrs Pearson looked a little uncomfortable.

"There _was_ some trouble a few years ago," she said reluctantly, "something about money. But he atoned for his sins and the church is all about forgiveness."

"Yes, but are the churchgoers all about forgiveness too?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"What exactly are we talking here?" Gene asked, "fiddling the pennies of pocketing the church roof fund?"

"He used some heavy handed techniques to get large amounts of money for the church from its parishioners," Jake explained, "he was under pressure to raise a lot of cash. Some people lost money they couldn't afford. It went to trial and he was cleared but he decided to make a full apology anyway. He threw his heart and soul into making up for what he'd done."

"Me heart's bleeding, give me a break," Gene told him.

"Jake," Alex began, "have you managed to find the names of the people he is accused to swindling?"

"Not yet, ma'am," Jake shook his head, "that's my next job."

Alex got to her feet as Jake left. She closed her eyes and let out her breath.

"Well," she began tightly, "that's fitting. A crooked vicar overseeing our vows."

"Just as well someone knocked his block off," Gene told her, "we'd never hear the end of it otherwise."

As Alex and Gene retreated to Gene's office to discuss the the case further Kim found herself left with a quiet and awkward Em. Although Em's whole aura seemed lighter since her birthday had passed she was still the odd one out; the misfit, and in a station full of people that already included Kim, Simon and Robin being a misfit was quite something indeed. Kim had left the woman alone for a while to settle in but even though she was less jumpy and moody in general she was still extremely quiet. It grated on Kim that she felt she was doing her job poorly and she wanted to change that. She knew what it was like to be the new girl, the odd one out, and it usually led to an over-abundance of alcohol in the system and a one way ticket into the bed of Keats. While Jimbo appeared to have disappeared Kim still wanted to stop Em from rotting away in isolation. Kim wasn't the most sociable creature in the world herself so it pained her to ask the next question from her lips.

"Em," she tried to sound cheerful, or as cheerful as Kim ever sounded without appearing false, "you've been shutting yourself away watching bloody UK Gold every night for the last three weeks, I think you should come out tonight."

Em looked stricken as though Kim had asked her to visit an abattoir.

"What?" she asked quickly, "I mean, I'm sorry, I don't..."

"You've been out _once_ since you -" Kim paused She was a whisker away from saying 'got here'. "...Since you started working with us," she continued, "You're not making life any easier for yourself." she saw Em starting to look annoyed. "I mean that you can't expect to feel like a part of the team if you won't try to get to know anyone!" Kim explained.

Em looked away. She didn't feel comfortable socialising with people she's read about in a book. It felt wrong, as though she knew too much about them already, without their permission. Apart from that, she still didn't know _exactly_ where she was.

"I'm not really fond of nightclubs," she said quietly, her one nightclub experience involving four hours of music by S Club 7 and a DJ who kept telling jokes about the difference between Annalise from Neighbours and a banana.

"You know what?" Kim shrugged "neither am I. _Been there, done that._ But that's where everyone else goes so I just go along with them if I want a night out. It's more Rob's – _Chief Inspector Thomas's _place anyway. I _used_ to enjoy it," her voice wavered slightly as she remembered the nights spent dancing with Shaz, "a long time ago... but I've grown up." She cleared her throat. "There's that pub. The one we all went to on Rob's birthday. _Your_ birthday."

"That... didn't exactly work out brilliantly for me," Em felt her face reddening as she remembered passing out in the toilets from the strain of the day arriving.

"Didn't work out well for _most_ of us," Kim recalled Gene and the exploding beer pump, "but you have to give places a chance. Come _on_. We'll have a drink. Get to know each other," she felt like she was reading a script. They weren't words that came naturally to Kim who still found it hard to make friends but the memory of what she'd been through in Gene's world the first time around pushed her to make an effort. It seemed that something in her tone made Em reluctantly decide to do the same.

"Alright," she said quietly, "maybe just for a little while."

Kim breathed a sigh of relief. She was starting to feel as though she'd been wasting her time.

"Just a little while is fine," she agreed, "meet you there about nine?" Em nodded, looking as though she'd just signed her own death warrant "Great. And try to cheer up, you're scaring the locals." Kim grabbed the stack of papers she'd left on a desk and began to stagger away with them. "Time to catch up on this literary masterpiece," she mumbled.

Em closed her eyes and hung her head as she found herself alone in the office. She knew she was the most anti-social of creatures. She couldn't help that, She'd more or less signed up for her worst nightmare. Spending a night in front of UK Gold had never sounded more appealing.

~xXx~

Marci paced up and down in the bathroom, staring at her twitching, trembling hands. Her head was thumping with the worst of headaches, her limbs were jumpy and ached. It was getting worse. It was getting _so_ much worse than before. She needed to do something, and she needed to do it fast. She'd already lost her temper and was scared the next time she would lose her job.

_OK. OK, it's time for the back-up plan. Only to be called on in an extreme emergency._ She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Was she _really_ going to go through with it? She hated herself for it, but not enough to stop herself from taking drastic action.

With heart racing and palms sweating she walked briskly to the cells and paced up and down again. _Please, please let this work. Please let this be alright Oh god._

She casually checked the cell allocation. Flashing, _nope_. Assault, _nope_. Drunk driving –_ no bloody use! _But cell _4..._

She bit her lip. Could she really do this? _Could_ she? Oh _god_, what about the consequences?

She _had_ to. There was no other option.

"Excuse me," she spoke to the desk sergeant, "I need access to the evidence seized from the suspect in cell four." She tried to keep her cool as she showed her warrant, "we suspect he might have bought it from someone we're tracking at the moment and need it tested."

The sergeant passed her a board and a pen.

"Sign here," she told Marci.

Marci's heart was pumping so hard that she felt almost certain the sergeant was going to ask her what the noise was. She swallowed as she scribbled out something illegible and received the key to access what she needed "Thanks," she breathed, desperately trying to hide the tremble in her hands. She never thought it would come to this but there seemed no other way.

_Just a stop-gap. Just for one day. _She hoped that's all it was, at least.

~xXx~

"_Hey you."_

Kim glanced up and saw Robin in the doorway of her office. She closed her eyes and smiled with a slight groan.

"Ohhhh, am I glad to see you," she told him, "I've had a shitty day. After our meeting Hunt had a special job for me."

"Oh _god_, you're calling him Hunt, this isn't going to be good," Robin walked into the office and at down across the desk.

"Sent me all the way to Surrey."

"_Please_ don't tell me this involves Simon in that bloody squirrel costume again."

"Not this time no," Kim sighed. She rubbed her head and threw her pen across the desk. "There's a girl's dead body. No clue who she is. No clue who did it. No witnesses, no ID on the body, no cause of death, _nothing_."

"Nothing at all?"

"Nope. Only signs of sexual assault and two very shocked teens who think finding the body was their punishment for going for a roll in the hay," she groaned again as she leaned back. "I missed lunch, got my windscreen washed by three twats with buckets, ran one of them over and then accidentally invited Em for the most boring night out in history." she belched under her breath, "and then I ate my sandwich too fast and got indigestion."

"Bloody hell, you really are having a bad day," Robin tried not to smile but there was something about an angry Kim that he found strangely cute. Not that he dared to ever tell her that.

"Will you come with me tonight, Rob?" she pleaded, "I know you prefer the club but I'm supposed to be meeting Em at the pub for a drink. I was just trying to get her to socialise but now I'm going to be stuck with someone that won't say two words all night." she looked longingly at Robin with her big, blue eyes. She wasn't usually very good at the puppy-dog look but she really seemed in need of his support. "_Please_, Rob? Come with us?"

Robin sighed and nodded.

"I didn't really fancy the club tonight anyway," he told her, "the whole atmosphere is changing."

"Because of Marci?" Kim asked quietly.

Robin hesitated. He hadn't even realised it at first but Kim was right. Marci was probably the linchpin of their social group and with her behaviour becoming so unpredictable and unpleasant nights out were becoming less pleasurable and more frustrating.

"Yeah," he sighed eventually, "I think so."

"What's her problem?" Kim asked and Robin shook his head.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"What's Jake said about it?"

"he's avoided the subject."

"I don't really blame him," Kim remembered awkwardly how she felt when Simon's behaviour caused concern back in '95. As his best friend she'd felt responsible for him and upset by the cruel comments made behind his back by people who didn't understand. She fell silent for a moment, remembering. She didn't know what Marci's problem was but she had a feeling Jake felt more responsible for her than he should.

"Why don't you ask Jake to come with us as well?" she asked eventually. She saw Robin looking a little wary. "Maybe he could do with a night off from Marci and the club as well."

Robin nodded slowly. Four sounded like a better number anyway.

"Are _you_ alright though?" he asked.

"Me?" Kim frowned, "I'm fine, why?"

"You look tired."

Kim _was_ tired. It had been a draining day.

"I'm not doing this bloody Surrey commute every day, I'm telling you that," she sighed. "I'm fine, Rob. Just looking forward to getting the day over and done with."

Robin got to his feet and gave her a sympathetic smile.

"One more hour of torture, he pointed out, "you can make it"

"Thanks for your support," Kim said sarcastically, but she was smiling.

Robin stood up, leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, then left her to study the weirdest of cases in peace. He was on his way out of the suite when he ran into Jake quite literally on his way back to CID.

"Woah, sorry," Robin held up his hands apologetically.

"Sorry," Jake apologised too, giving a slightly embarrassed laugh, "we need traffic lights in this corridor."

"I'm glad I ran into you though," Robin began before pausing and laughing, "I don't mean literally... I was wondering if you wanted to give the club a miss tonight."

"While Marci's in this mood I want to give breathing _oxygen_ a miss," Jake sighed. He shook his head a little guiltily. "Sorry. She's just been acting so strange... I don't understand it and I don't like it."

"I know," Robin said quietly. They'd all noticed the change in Marci but Jake and Marci had been living in each other's pockets for years. To see his best friend's personality suddenly change beyond all comprehension stung his heart.

"Come out tonight with us," Robin said gently, "forget about Marci for one night."

Jake hung his head a little. He felt so guilty choosing his boyfriend over his best friend but her behaviour was dragging his spirits down and he couldn't take a lot more of it. Eventually he flashed Robin smile of relief and nodded.

"Alright," he agreed, "Thanks, Rob. Marci probably won't even notice I'm not there." Robin noticed a sad note in Jake's voice as he admitted that much. He rubbed his arm gently, feeling somewhat helpless. He tied to imagine how he'd feel if Simon changed without warning. "Listen" he said quietly, "if you want to talk tonight.. about Marci...?"

Jake gave a thin smile.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Robin didn't want to hold him up any longer.

"I'll give you a call later to tell you what time we're meeting," he said and Jake nodded.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"See you later, Jake."

"Bye Rob." Jake took a deep breath and continued on to CID. He didn't want to think about Marci right there and then. He was losing his best friend and it hurt too badly to contemplate. Besides which he'd started thinking of her, when he allowed himself to, in slightly different terms for the past few months. He needed to get his head straight.

Before he could do that he had work to finish. Entering CID, he found Gene and Alex talking in the office.

"Do we need to run a criminal record check on this one?" Gene was asking.

Jake coughed a little and Alex looked around.

"Sorry," she said with a sheepish smile, "the church has just contacted us to let us know that a replacement vicar has been arranged and the wedding can go ahead as planned.

"Oh, that's good," Jake nodded.

"It will be as log as we don't get any tennis players on another clobbering spree," Gene mumbled.

"Ignore him," Alex sighed, "what have you found out?"

"Your Pete Samprasalke," Jake began turning his sheet of paper around for them to see, "Terry Bradbury. Picked up on two occasions for drunk and disorderly, one charge of ABH later dropped."

"Are we sure this is our man?" Alex asked.

"How did you pluck this one from the files?" Gene asked.

"I checked out the records of our dead Vic," Jake told them, "his family were one of the victims of his enthusiastic collection techniques. Talked his parents into signing everything over to the church fund. They went into debt to give a large sum immediately. When the truth came out his father committed suicide."

"When the vic paid for his sins is sounds like he didn't pay for the in cash," Gene said, scanning the file, "no compensation ever given to the family."

"Looks like a visit to the Bradbury family is on the cards," Alex commented.

"Tomorrow," Gene interrupted, "we'll pay a visit to them in the morning. Tonight I've got a date with me tux and a bowtie instruction manual."

Jake tried not to pull a face. Even a night out with grumpy Marci sounded better than Gene's evening plans.


	5. Chapter 4 Ties, Truths and Talking

**Chapter 4**

"You don't think it's an omen, do you?" Alex asked as she perched on the edge of the bed watching Gene attempting to tie his bow tie for the thirteenth time. At least this time he hadn't managed to tie any of his fingers up in the process.

"Me making a bloody mess of me dicky-bow?" he glanced at her, "better bloody not be."

"I mean the vicar," Alex sighed as she laid back against the pillows.

"What, like a secret message from the other side?" Gene wiggled his fingers in a spooky manner, "_romance is dead_, that kind of thing?"

Alex sighed again.

"You don't think we should postpone the wedding?"

"With the amount I've spent renting this monkey suit? Better bloody not do, Bolly." he could see her reflection in the mirror. She looked anxious and distant, the death of the vicar playing on her mind, Finally he gave up trying to tie his bowtie threw it across the room and turned around. "Come on, Lady B, spill it."

"The wine?" Alex asked cantankerously.

"Again, not with the price of renting this thing," Gene told her. He saw he roll her eyes as he took a seat by her side. "No, Bolly. I don't think we should postpone the bloody wedding. Took me long enough to get off my arse and put a ring on yer finger on the first place. We've already had other flipping worlds and the dark side of Fenchurch postponing it, one dead vicar isn't going to get this thing called off."

Alex reached for her wine. She ran a finger around the rim of her glass as she stared into the deep red liquid.

"Maybe I'm paranoid," she said quietly.

"After the last two times _anyone_ would be," Gene pointed out, "but short of the entire contents of Noah's Ark taking a dump in the chapel' nothings going to get in the way of me and you getting hitched. You're already stuck with me, Bols. No escape hatch."

Alex smiled distantly as she sipped her wine Their engagement hadn't exactly been the most straightforward in history. Neither had their _relationship_. But Gene's certainty had helped to quell a few of her nerves. With any luck the only remaining obstacle to their upcoming nuptials was Gene's continuing inability to tie his bowtie.

~xXx~

It was an evening that wasn't working out how a y of them had expected. Kim has truly imagined Em would sit in silence for the entire evening which was why she'd asked Robin along for support, but something seemed different about the arty interloper that night. Maybe it was being away from the office. Maybe it was being away from her birthday. Maybe it was just being in _Kim's_ company. Whatever it was, she seemed to have plenty to say for herself for once. As soon as the conversation turned to tattoos the chatter didn't stop.

"I was twenty one when I got my first one," Em explained, barely even touching her wine, so engrossed in conversation, "It was weird, I'd never wanted one before then suddenly one night I just looked at myself in the mirror and it seemed strange to think I was supposed to be an artist but had never designed my own skin."

That made sense to Kim.

"I was a bit older than you," she said, "twenty five." She silently cursed the fact that her tattoo hadn't travelled back to the real world with her. Thankfully tattoos seemed to travel in the other direction, for the most part. Alex was the exception, but then she'd had another body waiting for her, the first time around. "I'd been through..." she hesitated, _"...something major _and I wanted to remember that I'd had the strength to survive it"

Robin had tried to enter the conversation too but when the talk turned to nipple piercings he and Jake decided to make a fast exit.

"We're going to sit at the bar," Robin told Kim, "no offence but I'm still in danger of chucking up over that time Simon got one of _his_ ...caught in his jumper."

Kim barely seemed to notice them leaving as they took up stools at the bar and Robin bought them a round.

"Thanks," Jake sighed, sipping his ice cold lager.

"You look like you could do with something stronger," Robin commented. Jake didn't reply but his eyes grew distant. "I heard about Marci's outburst," Robin told him quietly. Jake looked even more uncomfortable with every word Robin spoke. "What's going _on_ with her, Jake?"

A momentary look of panic crossed Jake's features as he misunderstood Robin's question. Increasingly since they'd shared a kiss during truth or dare at Christmas Jake had found his thoughts on Marci drifting into uncharted territory. It disturbed him somewhat – their friendship was the one solid thing all through his life that had never changed and never let him down. He'd never thought of her as anything but a friend. Now however he wondered if their innocent flirting at Christmas had left him with ideas in places he shouldn't be going. He was relieved to realise that Robin was only talking about Marci's attitude change. Not that he thought for a moment that Robin would begrudge him having romantic feelings for Marci - in fact, Robin was the only person that Jake would even _consider_ talking to about them - but because he want ready to contemplate them yet himself.

"Rob, I don't know," he let out a sigh that was deeper and longer than he'd been anticipating. He reached up to his neck and started to play with his chain absently, to take the focus away from his anxiety, "I don't know what happened. She's always been the same old Marci, as far back as I can remember. She's strong and she's sharp but she has the biggest heart and has a knack of just making you happy." He looked down, "making _me_ happy. Then something just changed, and I don't know why. A couple of months ago. Maybe a little longer. She was feeling down and I thought it was because the anniversary of Eddie's death was coming up. And for a while she _did_ seem better, happier than ever in a way. But then she started being... I don't know..." he shook his head. "Ratty. Tired. She had that back problem a while ago and I wondered if that was troubling her but suddenly she started blowing up at me for no reason, acting like an arsrhole," he looked at Robin and there was more sadness expressed in his eyes than words could ever portray. "I feel like I'm losing my best friend."

Robin didn't know what to say. He didn't suppose there was much he could offer apart from the support, love and a friendly ear that Jake needed.

"Come here," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around him. Jake worked hard at not giving into the tears that had been threatening for weeks. The person who understood him better than anyone else in the world was changing into something he didn't recognise and that hurt more than anything he'd felt before.

~xXx~

"...and he's barely taken the bloody jumper off _since,"_ Kim concluded, aware that Em had turned a vibrant shade of green. Perhaps telling her about Simon's nipple piercings had been a mistake. Maybe she should have stuck to discussing people whose piercings were not hidden by Noel Edmonds's cast offs.

"You're a braver woman than I am," Em blanched, "I've only _seen_ the jumper twice and I already have nightmares about it."

Kim felt acutely aware that the conversation was slowing down. For two people who didn't like to socialise they'd been doing a pretty good job of it for the past half an hour. It was the first time that Kim felt she was getting the hang of the role as far as dealing with _recruits who knew _went. She didn't want to let that slide.

"Are you up for another one?" she asked as Em finished the end of her wine. To Kim's surprise Em accepted the offer and she found herself at the bar, ordering more drinks.

"Oh hello," Robin glanced around, "things going well?"

"Surprisingly so," Kim said, completely astounded, "I was expecting it to be worse than the time Simon made me sit through a documentary about toasters in their natural habitat."

She returned to the table with the round and sipped her lager. She wasn't in the mood for getting drunk that evening, didn't have the _energy_ if she was honest. She hoped the Surrey commute wasn't going to become a daily occurrence. However, as she tried to think of another topic of conversation from previous drunken antics came to mind. Curious to know more about the stranger who'd entered the world despite being as far removed from the force as possible she decided to make a bold suggestion.

"How would you feel about a game of truth or dare?" she asked.

She was surprised to see Em's face contort in horror.

"_Ohhhh no_, I've read about this," she backed up in her chair, "aren't we supposed to be legless first?"

"It's usually more fun that way but not a necessity," Kim said, completely aware that went against her previously held views. Maybe she was growing up.

"Good, because you'll have to wait a long time for that," Em said, taking a gulp of wine. She looked a little apologetic. "Alcohol doesn't really do much for me," she said apologetically, "I'm a freak"

"At least you don't have a bushy tail,"Kim told her, believe me, in Fenchurch East _no_ one can be singled out as a freak."

"Oh good," Em said with nervous laughter. She still felt like one for being the 'arty one' who had no place in the station.

"So," Kim tried again, "truth or dare?"

Em realised she wasn't sure whether Kim was asking her again to play or whether she was assuming her acceptance and making her pick between truth or dare. She didn't want to sound like an idiot by asking so with a slightly nervous sigh she said,

"Alright... truth."

Kim nodded slowly, biding her time before she asked the things she truly wanted to know.

"Alright," she said, "sexual orientation?" she noticed Em looked stricken by the blunt question. "Oh come _on_, we're not exactly a heterosexual department, are we? You must have noticed."

Em _had_ noticed. It had struck her as strange but she hadn't said anything about it because pretty much _everything_ that had happened to her for a month had struck her as strange. She still felt a little awkward as she replied,

"Yes, I'm gay."

"Yeah, I thought you were checking out Marci's arse," Kim commented and Em's face reddened.

"I was not," she lied.

"As an arse it's very check-outable," Kim's reassurance did nothing to lesson Em's awkwardness.

"Sorry," she said with a guilty smile.

"I'm sorry that the personality doesn't match the arse," Kim said quietly, "well, it _used_ to. Not quite sure what happened there."

"You talk about arses a lot," Em commented. It was a bit of a silly thing to say but she was nervous. Conversation with strangers wasn't her strong point.

Kim smiled regardless.

"Alright," she said, my turn. I''ll pick truth."

Em's nervous smile faded quickly and in its place came a serious anxiety as she looked at Kim and braced herself for what she was about to ask.

"What _is_ this place?" she whispered.

Kim felt as thought the bottom dropped out of her stomach as the words echoed around inside of her mind. Her face froze for a moment, long enough for Em to see that she'd caught her off-guard. She glanced down, trying to steel herself for the lies that she knew Em wasn't going to accept as she tried to bluff;

"The pub... I think it's called the Lake and Anchor... stupid name for -"

"I don't mean the pub," Em's voice was strong and steady, as certain of itself as Kim had heard her yet. She swallowed and stared directly at Kim. "I thought it was in my head at first," she whispered, "after I'd been reading the book... watching the _Dispatches_ episodes, writing the splatfics..."

"The what?" Kim blinked, Em's words catching her off guard in a different way, but Em had more important things on her mind than responding.

"But it's not, is it?" she whispered, "somehow I'm really here."

Kim swallowed.

"Well, of _course_ you're really here," she tried to keep her voice steady but it wavered, "don't have an existential crisis -"

"I mean in this world," Em felt her heart starting to race, "_your_ world."

Kim stared back at her, feeling trapped in her gaze, caught by the eyes that begged for truth. She felt herself split in two; the part of her that knew she had to keep up the pretence, to uphold the law of the land that Gene and Alex and others had kept faithfully for years. But she remembered what it was like to open her eyes in a world that made no sense, in a year that scarred her soul, in a world that she would have done anything to escape. On top of that she remembered with anger the book that a beard with no conscience published to make a pretty penny; the half-truths and assumptions and the misinformation.

Kim's life had come full circle and the world she'd once hated with such passion now meant everything to her. She could not bear to do wrong by it. She had to weigh up whether betraying the pretence or preventing the lies was more important. Eventually she hung her head and whispered,

"_Gene's_ world."

Em stared at her, confused by her words.

"Pardon?" she asked quietly. Kim's eyes rose from the table and met Em's.

"It's not my world," she said quietly, "it belongs to Gene. Really. No matter how long the rest of us have been here, it was _always_ his world."

Em's stomach turned over as she listened to Kim speaking. Until that point she'd clung to the vague hope that she was wrong, that it really as just in her head, all a part of her imagination. Kim's eyes were honest and her words compelling. Em had read about the world, she'd heard vague words on TV specials and she'd used fanfiction to fill in the blanks but now she had it on tap, all the information, all the facts, whatever she needed to know. Suddenly that seemed like a terrifying notion.

"The book," Em began quietly, "it seemed... it did _seem_ to focus on him... for the most part."

"Don't take Evan's word for gospel," Kim said quickly and Em's eyes widened. The fact that Kim knew exactly who she was talking about confirmed for her that this was it; the conversation was real.

"Believe me I'm not a fan," Em said quickly, "all the beard modelling and stuff, I could well and truly do without," she shuddered, "but the book... I hated myself for buying it because of him, but I was hooked... the whole thing... the idea of going back in time..." she hung her head a little, "but," she whispered, "it was all fun and games until I," she flinched, "there was a car -"

Kim swallowed. She gripped her glass but didn't drink from it.

"There always is," she whispered, "or a knife. Or a gun."

Em hesitated.

"Or a building?" she asked shakily. She saw Kim's skin turn as pale as blossom and she wished she hadn't spoken but she needed to find out whatever she could while Kim was willing to talk. "You jumped," Em whispered, "they said it was a suicide attempt because of what..." she hesitated. She felt like she was intruding in Kim's private life, "because you were depressed, after everything you were going through." She swallowed, "it wasn't though, was it?"

Kim looked down and couldn't believe how badly her hands were shaking.

"No," she whispered, "it wasn't." She closed her eyes as she forced out the words. "There was anther place I had to be."

"Here?"

Kim nodded. She breathed in deeply, suddenly nauseous. Her beer held little appeal so she pushed it away and finally looked back at Em.

"Whatever you've read is a very skewed version of the truth," Kim told her, "and Em, believe me, if I could tell you everything then I would do it in a heartbeat. I've _been_ you. I know what it's like to wake up and be in a place you never wanted to see again. But I can't. I can't because... because it's not the done thing, and this world is already fragile enough... and I can't because even though this is... my second time around... I still know less about this place than do about the genetic structure of the canteen sprouts. And before you ask, there's no easy route home. You just have to accept that this is happening, take things a day at a time and try to make the very best of the opportunity you've got – when you work out what that is."

Em stared at Kim in silence for what seemed like an eternity and finally nodded. Her voice hitched as she whispered,

"Am I alive?"

Kim swallowed. She didn't know. She was only starting to adapt to the skills that Simon and Robin too had slowly acquired, being able to sense things about the life or the death of those who entered the station. She swallowed and made out that she was ignoring the question entirely as she said,

"What's the time, Em?"

"What?" Em stared at her, bewildered.

"I just wanted to know what the time was," Kim said, her voice quiet.

Em couldn't hide her frustration as Kim avoided the question but had been caught so off-guard that she answered the question as an automatic response, flicking out her wrist to check her watch.

"twenty to ten," she said quick;y, "am I _alive?"_

Kim swallowed and felt her lips torn between twitching into a smile and wavering with tears that took her by surprise. She barely even knew the odd stranger but the words she was about to say held a power she never thought possible.

"Yes, you're alive," she breathed." The look on Em's face was almost indescribable. There was a moment of disbelief, then shock, followed by relief and finally the first glimpse of genuine haplessness that Kim had seen on the woman's face since she arrived.

Em stared at her watch. She wanted to ask Kim what significance that held, what it meant to someone in her position but she was already pushing her luck. She didn't want to ask for too much. She had a feeling Kim had already given more than she was supposed to, and besides it was a lot to take in for one turn. She drew In her breath and put on a mask, covering up for her high emotion.

"I think it's probably my go now," she whispered.

"Alright, Kim nodded, feeling shaky and a little strange. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to be so open. She'd had no idea how much spelling out the truth could shake her up. "Truth or dare?" she asked, even though her mind was as far away from the game as she could imagine. Her heart was racing from speaking the words she knew she should have kept to herself. She felt like an outlaw, but Evan's book had rewritten the rules. She knew there were going to be more occurrences in the future. As far as first times went, this could definitely have been more painful.

"Truth," Em said and Kim rolled her eyes.

"No one ever picks dare!" she complained.

"That's not what I read in that book," Em blurted before she could stop herself.

Kim looked worried.

"I told you not to believe everything you read in that book," she told her and Em couldn't stop herself smirking.

"Yes," she agreed, "but the look on your face says that particular part was probably true."

"Shit," Kim cursed. She wondered exactly which dares were mentioned and how Evan had even managed to hear of them but didn't dwell on it for too long as she still had to think of a truth. She stared at Em. The odd one had already pushed her so she decided she deserved to ask something on the borderline. She bit her lip then took in a long, deep breath. "Alright," she said quietly, "how come your file says your birthday's in February when you clearly celebrated the thing two and a half weeks ago?"

The question was definitely one that Em didn't want to answer. For a moment Kim felt guilty as she watched her eyes gloss over as though she was trying desperately to disconnect herself from the question, trying to separate herself from whatever had brought her to nineteen ninety eight. Finally she looked down and stared at her reflection in the wine as she whispered,

"File's wrong."

"File's not wrong," Kim said quietly.

Em swallowed. She didn't look up.

"I was born on the second of July," she said quietly, "whoever the file says was born in February, it's not talking about me."

"You're supposed to answer the truth," Kim reminded her.

Em's eyes remained fixed on the glass for some time until she finally looked up at Kim and spoke in a flat, dark tone that surprised her.

"Do you know how long it's been since I celebrated my chronological birthday?" Kim stared back at her blankly, not sure she understood but not sure she should ask for clarification either. "There's no point celebrating a day you have no connection with. Whatever it says on my birth certificate, I was born on the second of July," she lifted her glass, more as a distraction than anything. Kim didn't know what to say. She'd never even encountered a situation like it before. She cleared her throat and sipped her lager. Em's face looked shattered and she knew she's wandered into territory best left for now. She wanted to move on. Quietly she said,

"Well, hopefully next year your birthday won't be spent so far away from home."

Em's lip wavered as she tried and failed to smile.

"I hope you're right," she whispered.

Kim cleared her throat again. _Just move on. It's all too awkward now. Shit, this is why the game is best played pissed._

"Alright," she said, "My turn. I'm going for dare."

Em took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _Bloody dares. _She could think of a hundred and one things to ask Kim and nothing that she wanted her to _do_. Eventually, exhaling with a sigh, she decided;

"Pickpocket one of your friends at the bar."

Kim blinked.

"What?:" she said with the tiniest giggle.

"Your friends," she nodded to Robin and Jake, neither of whom she knew very well, "pickpocket one of them."

Kim hesitated, then chewed on her lip.

"You are _on_," she said, scurrying towards them.

Em smiled to herself as she sipped her wine and watched Kim getting a little over-friendly with Jake who seemed scared and attempted to hide behind Robin as he felt what he thought was a hand on his backside instead of in his pocket.

"_Perhaps,"_ she whispered, "_this place isn't so bad after all."_


	6. Chapter 5: Shock, Surprise and Shame

**Chapter 5**

Simon really didn't want to hear the sound of the phone ringing. He wanted to deny all knowledge of the existence of phones. He wanted to stay right where he was, lying across the couch with his scotch and his Red Dwarf videos. He wanted to ignore the whole world and everything in it. But the phone was very insistent.

With a long, tired groan he paused the tape just as Rimmer opened his mouth to say something that would completely ruin Lister's day, got up and slouched through to the kitchen to answer the call.

"What?"

There was a pause on the line.

"Bloody hell Shoebury, with a telephone manner like that you should be working for British Gas!"

Simon groaned and slumped against the kitchen counter.

"What do you want, Gene?" he asked bluntly.

"Why? Am I cutting into yer fun-packed social schedule?" Gene asked sarcastically.

Simon stared longingly at his bottle through the doorway.

"Yes, as it happens," he said, "what do you want?"

"Calling to give you some man to man advice."

"Oh _god," _Simon slapped his forehead, "this is going to be one of those calls that ends with you turning up on my doorstep and throwing me against walls in lieu of a filing cabinet."

"Just calling to make sure you've got your best man duties sorted."

Simon closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh. It had been a very, _very_ long time since Gene had asked him to be his best man and the subject had never come up again until the last week or so. For a long time Simon assumed Gene had decided against having a best man at all. On one hand Simon was flattered. The fact that Gene valued his friendship genuinely meant a lot to him, especially since their genetic connection came to the fore. But on the other hand it was a hassle he could do without.

"Yes, Gene," he sighed, "I've got the ring, my suit is clean and pressed and I have a speech ready that contains no less than thirteen blue jokes."

"I'm not talking about that, I mean the important stuff," Gene told him, "me ruddy stag night."

Simon groaned.

"What stag night?"

"The one you're supposed to be bleeding well organising!" Gene barked.

"Oh Gene, you never mentioned that!"

"It was implied in the whole '_will you be me best man'_ thing!"

"Why do you want a stag night anyway?" Simon groaned again, "you'll spend the whole night moaning about Alex not being there, call us all a bunch of lightweights and pass out in a pool of your own vomit."

"You have very little faith in me constitution considering I've downed more scotch than you've watched X-Filed episodes, Shoebury!" Gene paused while Simon sighed and shook his head. "Three things: Beer, strippers and the biggest bloody pub crawl in the history of Fenchurch."

"Right," Simon groaned, "fine."

"And when I say strippers," Gene continued warningly, "I'm talking about the Gene Genie approved kind. Lovely ladies who are blessed in the titular region. Do you read me, Shoeboy?"

"Yes," Simon sighed, "I'm not exactly going to take you to _The Full Monty, _am I?"

"You bloody _tried_," Gene accused, "you went to see it thirteen times!"

"Yes well," Simon grunted, "that's as close as I've been to getting any action for an unequivocal amount of time."

"Well if you _will_ be a back-door bandit."

"That is the last homophobic remark you are allowed until after the wedding unless you want me to give a speech about how I found you trying to make whoopee with the pot plants on no less than seventeen occasions," Simon told him sternly. Gene gave an angry sigh.

"Fine," he muttered, "take away me last pleasure in life."

"Gene," Simon began crossly, "I get the message. You want a bloody stag night. I'll deal with it." He shook his head, "now let me get back to my drink and my video before I organise a _real_ 'stag' night, watching wildlife roaming around at the zoo."

"You dare do it and you'll be fishing yer videos out the elephant enclosure," Gene barked before hanging up.

Simon slowly let out his breath and gave a sigh of relief. He was tired. Tired, bored and lonely. He knew he shouldn't be feeling that way but he couldn't help it. Day after day he faced the same slog. Evenings were spent as a third wheel amongst loved-up couples or sat alone in front of the TV with thoughts of Rimmer and a jar of hand cream. Kim and Robin did their best to include him in everything they did but when it came down to it they were a couple and Simon would never quite lose that sense of awkwardness.

He picked up the wedding invitation, propped up beside the phone and stared at it.

_Simon Shoebury and Guest,_ it said.

"You wasted ink adding the last two words," Simon whispered, lying the card down on the counter.

~xXx~

"Poor Simon," Alex shook her head as Gene glanced around.

"The boy needed a crash course in wedding traditions," Gene told her innocently.

"Why are you winding him up?" Alex sighed, "you just told me yesterday you couldn't be bothered with a stag night."

"I don't want to let Shoebury off the hook!" Gene protested, "he's falling short of his duties." he sank back into the couch beside Alex and looked at her. "Speaking of which, Lady B."

Alex glanced at him.

"What?"

"You given any more thought to yer own wedding party?"

"They're called hen-nights," Alex said sarcastically and Gene rolled his eyes.

"Not that kind of party."

Alex nodded with a sigh.

"I know," he said

"You already denied the fairer members of me station the chance of being bridesmaid."

Alex sighed. She had never wanted bridesmaids. She wasn't sure that Gene really understood that. Bridesmaids were _not_ something there for the best man to shag - not that Simon was going to be in the market for picking one up anyway - but they were supposed to be people who meant a lot to the bride. Alex had already been through it all once before; a young, naïve bride with all her best friends accompanying her down the aisle. In Gene's world she had many friends but it wasn't the same. There were very few people she felt very close to and those she did weren't exactly bridesmaid material. Besides, there was only one bridesmaid she would have wanted and it was the one person she couldn't have.

_Molly_.

"You just want to see Marci tottering down the aisle on platforms," she tried to joke but her heart wasn't in it.

"Think you're doing yerself down, Bols," Gene told her, "you should have had _one_ meringue at least."

"And who would I have asked to wear it?" Alex sighed, "There are only two people I feel close enough to and as expertly as Robin wears his eyeliner I can't see him sporting a pink frilly number."

Gene looked awkward and not altogether sure of what he was saying as he asked,

"What about his not-so-glamorous assistant?" he saw Alex looking slightly nervous at the mention of Kim as she awaited another insult from Gene's Big Book of Lesbian Euphemisms.

"I think Kim would be even less happy to wear a bridesmaid's dress," Alex told him, "which is pretty much why you said it, isn't it? You're looking for every avenue of torture, I know your game." She shook her head, "Gene, you know how I feel. There's only one bridesmaid I'd have ever wanted."

Gene hung his head slightly and nodded.

"Fair enough," he mumbled. He looked at Alex over his glass. "What about the other honour?"

"Of...?"

"Giving you away."

Alex frowned in confusion.

"I... don't understand," she said. When she had married Peter, Evan had given her away, but she hadn't even thought about someone taking that role this time around. She was older, she was independent, it was her second time around – well, it was for both of them. She gave a little shrug.

"Your whole _world_ gave you away.

That sent a chill down Alex's spine.

"Gene -"

"It gave you away so you could stay here." Gene added silently, '_with me'_. He didn't want to say it out loud. "Someone helped you on your way." he saw Alex's eyes turning downward. "I saw your tape, Alex." The use of her name made her look back at him. "Stringer."

Alex felt sick. A sudden, vicious wave of nausea rose up from her chest as visions of the barge came back to her, the desperation, pleading with Kim, asking her to do something she had no right to ask. She didn't think she could ever pay Kim back for that. Was there _ever_ a way?

"Kim gave me my life back by taking it," she whispered.

Gene nodded.

"I reckon she's the only sod in the station that'll look almost as sharp in a suit as yours truly," Gene told her.

Alex stared at him. The suggestion seemed to have come from nowhere.

"Are you saying you want me to ask _Kim_," she began, "to give me away?"

Gene gave an uncomfortable shrug. Kim was generally a sore point to Gene. She had his car, his flask and had shared lip action with his missus on more than one occasion. He had a feeling one day she was going to have her name on his door as well. But as much as he hated to admit it – and _god_, it pained every cell in his body to do so – he had a respect for her that was almost impossible for anyone to earn.

"You need someone to walk you down the aisle, Bols." he said in a tone that was far softer than Alex was used to. Of course, he spoilt it a moment later by adding, "what I've got planned for our last night of living in sin, you'll be lucky to manage the walk full stop."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"We're back to your manhood again, aren't we?" she remarked but Gene took a step back in conversation.

"Bloody ask her," he said, thrusting the cordless phone into Alex's hand, "before I change me mind."

Alex found herself biting her lip as her whole mouth twitched into a smile. It made sense. It made _perfect_ sense in a way. She nodded slowly and took the phone properly from Gene. Kim had sent her on her way once. Who _else_ was going to give her away? It was perfect.

"You're not _all_ tough boots and man stink, are you?" she said with a charming smile, even though she earned herself a glare.

"Breathe one word of me softer side and the only ceremony taking place will be the funeral for me credibility," he warned.

~xXx~

"I am _so_ humiliated."

Jake hung his head as raucous laughter from behind him rang through his ears.

"Jake, come _on_, you have to admit," Robin tried not to laugh, "carrying around a condom with the Tardis printed on it was not going to earn you any brownie points."

"It's a_ novelty!"_ Jake tried to protest which only earned more splutters of laughter from Kim and Em.

"Yeah well," Robin finished off his drink and set down his glass, "Doctor Who is still a bit of a sore point after the whole... _Tardis-in-the-car-park, dog-piddle_ incident."

"I think I preferred it when I thought she was actually trying to fondle my buttocks!" Jake protested as he glanced around and saw Kim making the condom fly through the air, "_shit_."

"Jake, _relax_," Robin tried to reassure him, "she'll forget about it by morning."

"I don't believe that any more than I believed it when you tried to convince me the canteen had instigated a _no-sprout_ policy on April fool's day," Jake folded his arms.

Behind them, Kim finally put down the condom and rubbed her eyes as tears of laughter started to fall. Despite the fact that she wasn't really drinking and Em wasn't much one for alcohol the laughter had made them hyperactive and a little crazy. Em hadn't laughed since she arrived and it felt so good.

"At least give him his condom back," she told Kim but Kim shook her head.

"If he wants that back he needs to travel throughout space and time to get it," she told her as a tinny ringing sound came from her pocket and she cursed, reaching for her phone.

Robin glanced behind him at the sound of Kim's ringtone, wondering what was going on.

"Whoever is on the end of that line is going to know about my novelty in about five seconds from now," Jake panicked. Robin had to laugh. He couldn't help it.

"Someone's calling _Kim_, she's not making calls to spread your secret identity as the Doctor around the station."

"That is not funny," Jake frowned. To his surprise his own phone started to ring, "Wait," he mumbled, reaching into his pocket.

Robin watched Kim's expression as she seemed surprised by the call, then a little shy, then shocked and then gave an uncharacteristic squeal of delight before quickly wrestling her emotions under control and offering a very businesslike acceptance to whatever the mystery caller had offered.

"I wonder what _that's_ about," Robin mused but his attention was drawn to a very different phone conversation. Jake seemed anxious and unhappy as he spoke.

"...No, I'm not going tonight. I'm in the pub with Robin... I just needed a break from it, she was in a... what? Are you sure?"

"Who is it?" Robin whispered nosily but Jake was too caught up to hear.

"...No, that's not like her," he said, "...you've called her home phone and her mobile phone? And you've definitely checked in the club already?" he paused, "_Alright! _I was only _checking!"_ he closed his eyes, hung his head a little and sighed. "Shaz, I'm sorry. Marci's not really someone I want to think about tonight, she had a bit outburst earlier... You did, huh?" Jake bit his lip. "...Yeah, I know. I understand. If you really want to check, she keeps a spare key tucked behind the picture hanging in the hall. Yeah, I know that's not great security. She saw it on a TV show." He gave a tiny smile. "Good luck, Shaz. See you."

"That doesn't sound good," Robin said gently as Jake hung up, his eyes were dark and anxious.

"No," he said quietly, "it wasn't."

"What's happened?"

Jake looked at Robin.

"Marci was supposed to meet Shaz at the club," he began, "Shaz has been waiting for an hour with no sign of her. She's not answering her phone, she's not in the club and there was no reply when Shaz knocked on the door."

"Maybe there was an emergency," Robin began but Jake cut him off.

"Once upon a time I'd have thought that but," he hung his head. "Shaz said tonight was Marci';s last chance,.. She's been treating her like crap lately; bowing out of dates, snapping at her, downright _insulting_ her on one occasion. It's not like her. Not like her at all."

Robin bit his lip and tried to comfort Jake with a hand on his arm but it felt like such a fruitless gesture. Losing his best friend was stinging away in Jake's heart and Robin wasn't sure how to heal that kind of pain.

~xXx~

Marci literally trembled as she held the foil with one hand and the lighter with the other. _How did they do this in films?_ She wished she's paid more attention to _Trainspotting_. Or maybe had more narcotics training.

"_Shit."_

She closed her eyes and shook her head violently. Was she even doing this? How had it even come to it? She never thought she would stoop this low. She never thought she would reach the point at which her emergency, desperate back-up plan would actually have to become reality. If that one suspect had never knocked her over months ago she'd never have even had the back pain in the first place. The doctor would never have prescribed those painkillers, the ones that made her feel all floaty, that gave her effects beyond the relief of the pain.

And that had been fun for a while, and the teasing from her colleagues about being off her rocker was funny, and after a couple of weeks her back was starting to improve so she reached for the ibuprofen instead and secreted the codeine away in the back of her medicine cupboard, forgetting of their existence.

Until May. Until May arrived and struck her with the force of a collapsing building . It was a year since the blasts; since Keats's ultimate attack on the station, since the night Eddie died saving her life. And all the anguish and the depression and the desperation started to filter back until she found herself screaming and crying and mentally ripping herself apart. Alcohol didn't help. Alcohol didn't do a fucking thing.

And then she remembered, those lovely pills with the lovely fluffy headedness she felt every time she took them. So she took them. And there is was, that warm, wonderful feeling as the pain faded away.

Until morning. So she took two more. And her colleagues teased her as she pretended she'd put her back out again and the good natured goading went on for a couple of days until she found the pills weren't having the effect they once had. _Damnit_. So she upped her dose. It was only a temporary thing, just to get through a couple of weeks, just until the horrible month of May was over. Just to get her through. She returned to her doctor, complaining of more back pain and the doctor wrote her a new prescription which she clutched happily, taking an extra pill that night. Maybe it was a little too much for her constitution, she felt a little sick and more dizzy than anything but she had the best fucking night's sleep of her life.

But then as the pain of may faded and she tried to put the pills aside there were headaches. There were headaches, and twitching, and anxieties creeping in. There were moments of cursing the fact that she had no tablets tucked in her bag, nipping home in the day to just have _one_, just to get through. But then one became _two_ to get through. And then sometimes just getting through wasn't enough and she needed _that feeling_ again. But her tolerance... oh, her tolerance was building and she needed more and more tablets to feel it.

Pretty soon the doctor refused her and in desperation she found herself mixing with people she'd only see on the other side of the interview table. Something stronger? Yes, that'll do nicely. Except they, too, ran out. And she knew, somewhere, in the back of her mind that she had a plan. _Just in case the worst happened._

And as she stared at the foil and swallowed she knew the worst had happened.

"_Shit,_" she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. This was it. If she did this now there would be no turning back.

But the withdrawals that ravaged her body stopped her from caring.

~xXx~

After Kim's phone call she'd sat in shock for some time with a large smile across her face and muttered things about wedding parties which confused Em, but not as much as Kim's enlightened mood did. Truth or dare took a more light-hearted, less distressing turn, even though Em feared they were on the verge of getting thrown out for their raucous behaviour as they shrieked every time they found something else in common.

"Alright, alright, your turn, truth or dare?" Em asked.

Kim had dispensed with dares entirely.

"Truth," she said.

"Alright," Em bit her lip, "do you..." she glanced around, suddenly aware they were in a busy pub before she beckoned Kim closer and hissed her question into her heavily-pierced ear. Kim looked a little flushed as she admitted,

"Yeah, I do," she said, "I actually do -" and Em gave a strange shriek.

"Me_ too!_" she cried.

"Really? You're _kidding -"_

"Nope!"

"OK, so your turn..."

X

Robin watched them from afar with a slight look of amused bemusement on his face.

"So much for Kim's 'boring night' with nothing to say to the woman," he commented. He glanced at Jake's sad, worried expression, ignoring the shrieks of _'Oh god, me too!" _from Kim over on the table as Em revealed her reply. Jake didn't respond. "Jake?"

Jake glanced up. He;d barely touched his drink and his heart wasn't in anything.

"I'm so sorry," he sighed, "I'm just really worried about her."

Robin nodded slowly.

"I understand," he said, "I would be too."

"_...Oh god, really? Me too!..."_

Jake's sigh was deep and troubled.

"I'm so sorry, Rob, I'm not being the best company tonight, am I?"

"It's not your fault," Robin reassured him.

"_...Oh GOD, you're KIDDING?"_

"_No! What, you too?"_

"_Uh huh."_

"_Seriously?"_

Robin smiled as he looked back at Kim again. It wasn't something he was used to seeing and it was good for her to let her hair down, what there was of it anyway. He wondered what exactly they were saying but on the other hand realised he was probably better off not knowing. After some whispered conversation the two women go to their feet and Kim scurried over awkwardly to Robin.

"We're... gonna go and do a thing," she said.

Robin frowned curiously.

"What kind of thing?"

"A darey kind of thing," Kim told him as she rushed away, waving in his direction and making a quick getaway. Robin shook his head and sighed in confusion. "I have no idea what just happened." He looked at Jake who seemed to have lost his remaining spirit. "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, rubbing his back. Jake nodded wordlessly. "You could come back to mine while Kim's doing whatever this random thing is?" he offered.

Jake put his head on his folded arms against the bar.

"Kim confiscated my novelty condom," he mumbled.

"Normal ones work too," Robin pointed out, "they just don't transport your sexual organs to the far reaches of the galaxy." Jake just about managhed to look up. The slightly encouraging and yet slightly sarcastic look on Robin's face was the first thing to make him even consider a smile since he'd taken Shaz's call.

"Alright," he said, straightening up a bit, "you win."

Downing the end of his drink, Jake followed Robin out of the pub but his heart was sinking fast. His worries for Marci increased tenfold.

~xXx~

"Marci? Babe?" Shaz could feel something wasn't right. She'd felt uncomfortable using the key but she was fairly sure Marci was home and she couldn't shake those worries. She could hear her, well she thought she could, as she walked slowly through the hallway. She wasn't talking... she was making some sort of a noise but -

"Babe?" peering through the door of Marci's lounge she found herself struck dumb, her fingers raising to he lips with a horrified gasp. No, this was... this wasn't right, this wasn't possible.

Marci's eyes were unfocused, the foil discarded on the table and the expression on her face twisting with an unnatural smile. Her head seemed to loll as she felt torn between nodding off and laughing. Everything was fine. Everything exquisite. Everything perfect and amazing.

"What the hell are you _doing?"_ Shaz's anger burst out all in one go, "What's_ this?_" she pickled up the foil and held it in front of Marci's nose.

Marci closed her eyes, the smile never leaving her face.

"Why don't you get your dog to come and tell you?" she laughed, "sure she can recognise a bit of smack."

"_Heroin?_" Shaz swallowed, her fingers closing more tightly around it as her anger increased, "what the _hell_ do you think you're doing? You don't do drugs, Marci!"

"_Didn't,_" Marci shook her head, "and it's just once. What's the problem?"

"The problem is it's never just once!" cried Shaz, "you stupid, _stupid_ girl!"

"Get lost," Marci waved a hand in her face. Shaz was destroying her buzz.

"Is _this_ what's been going on?" Shaz demanded, "you've been on this for weeks, haven't you?"

"First time," Marci giggled, "just taken some painkillers. That's all. But ran out," she pulled a disgruntled face, "and I was so pissed off but now..." she started to climb to her feet, "this is the best thing... best thing I've ever done,"

Shaz gave her a shove back into the chair and retreated to the door.

"No," she said firmly, "I see too many screwed up people on the streets from drugs. I see too many desperate people who'll do anything for a hit. My girlfriend isn't going to be one of them."

"Well piss _off_ then!" Marci cried and Shaz retreated out of the room.

"It's your decision, Marci, the drugs or me," she cried, tears in her eyes.

"Piss _off,"_ Marci reiterated as her eyelids closed and she smiled again.

Shaz shook with anger, she trembled with fury and devastation. She should have seen the _signs_, she should have known -

"Fine, Marci," she cried, "I've taken as much as I can from you. We're over."

"_Good!"_ Marci cried.

Clutching her face as tears fell down her cheeks Shaz scrambled from the flat and ran, ran right home, her heart thumping and hands trembling. A greater shock she couldn't imagine. She remembered the pain of losing Kim over two years earlier. Now she'd lost someone else, in a different way. She'd lost Marci to the chase of the dragon, and her heart was breaking in two.


	7. Chapter 6: Tricks T-shirts and Trauma

**Chapter 6**

Everyone seemed to be acting sheepish and coy by the next morning. Alex was feeling a little shy about asking Kim to give her away while Kim was embarrassed about her exuberant reaction, Jake was scared that the whole station would already know about his novelty contraception and be making jokes about whether or not he was _bigger on the inside_ and Kim and Em were refusing to acknowledge the existence of whatever happened the previous night.

"We not not _ever_ speak of last night again," Kim hissed to Em, red-faced, as she passed her by in the main office. Em seemed to half-disappear beneath the desk looking ashamed and self-conscious as she agreed;

"Never, not a word of it."

"And no one can _ever_ know."

"Not exactly going to be my first topic of conversation," Em said, her face heating up, unable to look Kim in the eye.

"See this is why the bloody game is better played pissed," Kim mumbled, "less chance of remembering what you admitted to the next morning."

As she left the room clutching a bundle of papers from the Surrey case she passed Robin in the doorway who seemed surprised to see her.

"Hey," he smiled, catching her arm soft;y with the tops of his fingers, "where did you get to last night?"

Kim looked a little worse for wear. She gave a sigh and brushed her fringe from her face.

"Sort of crashed out on Em's sofa," she said.

"I thought you didn't have much to drink last night?" Robin frowned.

"I didn't," Kim groaned.

"Then why do you look as green as the offspring of the Incredible Hulk and the Jolly Green Giant?"

Kim shuddered.

"Why are you making me think about that kind of..." she blanched, "_union?!"_

"I bet there's fan fiction of that," Robin commented and Kim shuddered again.

"I'm going to get back to my office before I lose my breakfast," she mumbled, touching Robin lightly on the shoulder and walking back to her suite. Robin shook his head slightly, deciding it was best not to ask. He scanned the room and spotted Jake looking somewhat forlorn.

"Hey you," he walked across and Jake barely looked up. "Hey... what's the matter?"

Jake finally stopped pretending to be so engrossed in his papers. He gave a half-hearted smile and tried not to sigh.

"Sorry," he said quietly, "no sign of Marci."

"She hasn't called in sick?" Robin asked and Jake shook his head. "And you've called -"

"Three times," Jake interrupted, "Home _and_ mobile. No reply."

"Did Shaz find her last night?" Robin asked and Jake could only shrug.

"I don;t know, Rob," he said quietly, "I've not seen her since we got here."

"I'm going back down to the unit now," Robin told him, "why don't you come with me and see if she's down there?"

Jake thought for a moment. He didn't want to bother Shaz if everything was OK or if Marci was just suffering with an almighty hangover somewhere but he couldn't shake his worries.

"Yeah," he said, getting to his feet with a hefty sigh, "I think I will."

As Jake and Robin left to head towards the canine unit Gene emerged from his office, snapping on his gloves. There was a vicar clobberer to be found and Gene meant business. He strode through the office, hesitating slightly at the entrance to Kim's suite where she had taken up the main table with her files.

"Oi, Stringer," he barked and Kim's head rose.

"_Wha_- sorry," she'd been miles away, "What's the matter? Not more tennis players killing off members of the cloth?"

"I hear congratulations are in order," Gene began.

"For what?" Kim frowned.

"You've joined the wedding party."

The call from the night before came back to Kim and she smiled despite trying to fight it.

"Oh yes, _that_," she said, "It's an honour. I'm so happy she asked."

"It was my idea," Gene told her and Kim raised an eyebrow in genuine shock.

"It was?"

"I told her to ask you," Gene nodded, "to walk her down the aisle. Help her keep steady if she'd given into the old nerves and had a jar or two before the ceremony. To give her away," his expression changed as he began to gloat, "_give her away, _Stringer. To _me_. You got that? You're getting your grubby rainbow coloured paws off me posh bit of skirt and leaving her _hotel/motel_ side distinctly less _motel._" He gave him a severely sarcastic smile of smugness as she glowered at him, "just a reminder that the Bolly's not for turning."

"_Is that right?"_

Gene froze and flinched as Alex's voice startled him. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. _Sprung._

"Got a problem, Lady B?" he asked eventually.

"No, no problem," Alex raised an eyebrow, "only that my fiancé seems threatened by what Kim keeps under her bed."

Kim blushed right down to her roots.

"_Why_ do the contents of my _under-bed hoard _keep coming up in polite conversation?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Apologise to DCI Stringer immediately," Alex poked Gene who looked almost ashamed for a split second, then purely disgruntled.

"I'm _sorry_, DCI _Stringer_," he said in a sing-song voice of sarcasm, before scowling and adding, "...sorry that you're a rug-munching loony with more ink than a troop of sailors."

"_Gene!" _Alex barked. She turned to Kim, smiled sweetly and told her, "I think we should bring forward my something blue. How does tonight at eight sound?"

While Kim looked a little shell-shocked, Gene positively seethed.

"Um, yeah, sure," Kim nodded, "that's fine."

"Good," Alex smiled. She walked back into the corridor, calling after her as she went, "come on, Gene, this dead vicar won't help himself."

Gene did a double take; between Alex's request and the look on Kim's face he didn't know who to yell at first. Eventually he scowled at Kim.

"Me. You. Filing cabinet," he hissed crossly.

Kim seemed unfazed. She'd been expecting that.

"Me. You. Piercing needle. Your backside," she threatened and Gene turned pale.

"Forget it," he grumbled, "I must be getting too old for this." he shuddered profusely, "Can't fight back against sharp things sticking in me arse."

~xXx~

"Terry Bradbury, forty-six, history of drunken behaviour and occasional violent tendencies. Three arrests, charged six years ago for assault, charges were dropped. Lives with his mother," Gene dropped the information, "and six cats."

"Shame he didn't commit the_ purr_fect crime," Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Make one more joke that bad and the wedding's off," Gene told her. Alex bit her lip, smirking a little as she hovered on tip toes beside Gene, waiting for Bradbury to answer the door. She bounced a little on her heels. This was nice. She didn't have many opportunities to team up with Gene in the way they used to. She may have worked in conjunction with him on a lot of cases but this harked back to their days as partners before her promotion saw her in charge of a new department. It was nice. A taste of the past, from the days where they came to know each other better and she found herself falling in love with the most unexpected of people.

"It's fitting," she said quietly.

"What is? Yer honeymoon lingerie?" Gene asked which only made Alex smile even more. It was such a typically Gene thing to say. The world had been through so many changes but there was one thing that never altered. Her rock, her constant, _Gene._

"Nothing," she smiled as the door finally opened and they had to focus on the serious task ahead.

"Yes?" the man hovering warily at the door seemed unhappy to be receiving visitors. He looked at them expectantly, waiting for explanations as they fished out their warrants.

"Terry Bradbury?" Alex asked.

The man hesitated.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm DCI Drake and this is DCI Hunt," Alex continued, "and we've got a few questions to ask you."

"You don't mind if we come and step out of the muggy British glory, do you?" Gene asked as he pushed in past Bradbury, with Alex following a step behind.

"Well yes I _do_ actually," Bradbury said quickly, "it's not a good day!"

"Terry?" a slightly unsure female voice drew their attention as an older lady with greying hair poked her head around the door, "who are these people, Terry?"

"It's nothing, Mum, go back to your programmes," terry said quickly, waving her back.

Gene turned to the old lady and gave what attempted to be a smile but on Gene looked more like a kind of a grimace.

"Hello, love," he said, "what you watching then?"

"Oh hello!" the woman's face lit up, "I wasn't expecting you yet, Colin. Your tea's not on the table!"

"Mum, that's not Colin," Bradbury hurried over to his mother and took her by the shoulder, guiding her towards the door, "Go and sit down, mum. I'll bring you a cup of tea in a bit."

Gene walked around, examining the small collection of family photos on the wall.

"I'll have seven sugars in mine," he said.

Bradbury looked frustrated and flustered as he closed the door and turned to gene.

"Look," he hissed, "this is a very difficult time. What's this about?"

"You had words with the Vic," Gene told him.

"Sorry?"

"The church cleaner saw you having a heated exchange with the vicar yesterday," Alex explained. Bradbury stared at her in confusion.

"I didn't know arguments were illegal now," he said.

"They are if they end with someone clobbered to death with the Virgin Mary," Gene explained and Bradbury blanched.

"What?"

"He was found dead with head injuries," Alex explained, "he had a clotting disorder and when his head started bleeding it didn't stop.

"Bloody hell," Bradbury felt himself go a little weak and sat down abruptly.

"You seem surprised to hear that, mister Bradbury," Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Well of _course_ I bloody am!" he cried, "I only spoke to him yesterday!"

"It only counts as speaking if you use fewer decibels than a jumbo jet taking off," Gene told him, "having a bloody barney, that's what you were doing."

"We have a few words," Bradbury hissed, "that's all. It's not as though I'd want to _hurt_ the man!"

"But it wouldn't be the first time you've hurt somebody," Alex began, "would it, mister Bradbury?"

Bradbury froze, his eyes wide and fixed on Alex as her words caught him by surprise. He swallowed and ran his tongue slowly around his lips. He felt his stomach turning over as he said quietly,

"One stupid moment of temper and I'm marked for life.

"So was the poor bloke whose nose you broke," Gene told him.

"The charges were dropped!"

"pity that didn't help the bugger's nose straighten up."

"It was one night, I thought he was getting over-friendly with my ex, we'd had a few..."

"And how many did you have yesterday?" Alex asked him.

"_None!" _

"Then would you mind telling us what the argument was about?"

Bradbury glanced to the door and then back at Alex. He closed his eyes momentarily,. His voice low as he whispered,

"Mum... my mother," he swallowed, "she's got dementia. They want to put her in a home, she's getting worse and she could be a danger to herself. But I've got no money to give them and she's going to end up in a complete _craphole_ unless I can find the money to get her into Harmony Place."

"So you battered him into praying for pennies?" Gene asked and Bradbury began to look more frantic.

"You don't mind if I have a little look around, do you?" Alex asked, wandering through the corridor.

"Leave mum alone!" Bradbury demanded, "don't go upsetting her! She's got nothing to do with this!"

"With _what_, exactly?" Gene asked, towering over Bradbury, his arms folded.

Bradbury swallowed.

"She doesn't know I went to see him," he breathed as Alex disappeared into another room, "and I don't want her to know."

"And why would that be?" Gene asked, "wouldn't she approve of yer boxing match?"

"_What_ boxing match?" Bradbury hissed as Gene nodded to his hand.

"Yer knuckles look sore," he said, noting bruises across his fingers which Bradbury tried to hide.

"I shut them in a door," he said quickly.

"And did you shut the Vic's head in a door an' al?" Gene demanded.

"I did not lay a finger on that man!" Bradbury was in danger of losing his temper, "I went to ask him to _help_ us! He conned my parents out of their retirement fund and my father was so ashamed he took his own life. Now we've got _nothing_ and mum needs every penny we can get."

Gene scratched his backside as he looked at Bradbury's anxious expression.

"And you think shouting the odds in a house of god is gonna get you divine intervention?" he asked.

"He said he was going to _pray_ for me!" Bradbury cried, "fucking _pray_ for me! I told him to stick it! I told him to shove the father, the son and the holy ghost up his arse!"

"Blimey," Gene took a step back, "that's quite a feat. How big's his bloody backside?" he shuddered as Alex returned, "not got a relative in police catering, has he?"

"Are you always this sarcastic?" Bradbury scowled.

"Only when he's trying to stall someone while I look for evidence," Alex said politely.

"Yeah, well, you won't find any," Bradbury hissed.

"No," Alex pulled a white t-shirt from behind her back and let it unfold, blood stains smothered across it, "only this."

"What?" Bradbury's eyes widened with sheer shock, " No!"

"This is your T-shirt, isn't it?" Alex asked, "it looks about your size."

"I don't expect Mummy Bradbury is all that interested in the Beastie Boys," Gene added, noticing the logo.

"Whose blood is this, Mister Bradbury?" Alex asked

"I don't know!" the man cried, "I haven't even _worn_ that in god knows how long!"

Gene raised an eyebrow and stared at the stricken suspect.

"You, my friend, need to accompany me on a little walk towards Fenchurch East," he said, "you are under arrest on suspicion of clobbering our_ vicar."_

"I _can't!"_

"You don't have much choice."

"What about mum?"

"I can arrest her an all if you want but one way or another you're answering a lot of questions."

"She can't be left alone," Bradbury insisted, "she needs looking after!"

"Sling her in one of the cells with a copy of _Woman's Own,"_ said Gene.

"She has to stay here!" rad bury cried, "she'll get confused... _really_, I need someone to look _after_ her!"

Alex hesitated. She glanced at Gene, biting her lip. She didn't want to leave anyone in danger So she took a deep breath.

"I'll organise a babysitter," she said, reaching for a radio, "you escort Mister Bradbury to the car."

"That is not a car, that is paradise on wheels," Gene told her as he pulled out a set of cuffs and slapped them onto Bradbury's wrists.

Alex felt a strange ache in her bones as she stared at Bradbury as Gene led him away. She bit her lip as she tried to work out why something seemed off. She didn''t know what it was but it was setting her on edge. Something didn't feel right and until she could put her finger on why she wasn't going to get rid if that strange sensation, she was sure.


	8. Chapter 7: Bloodshot, Bafflement & Beans

**Chapter 7**

"Hey, Shaz."

Shaz tried to pretend she hadn't even heard Jake at first. She carried on staring at her paperwork, one hand up to her forehead as she wrote, trying to hide her bloodshot eyes. She sniffed as she listened to the sound of Jake's footsteps encroaching upon her and held her breath as though she could stop him from talking to her if she played dead.

"Shaz?"

Shaz flinched. There was no was to escape him. Slowly she turned to him as his height cast a shadow over her.

"Good morning, DS Dawson," she said. She wasn't sure why she addressed him formally. Somehow she couldn't talk to him properly any more.

"Shaz, what's going on?" Her strange greeting only served to worry him more.

"We're at work," SHaz told him, "I'm just being professional."

Jake glanced around to make sure no one else was in earshot before he asked her worriedly,

"What's going on? I mean with Marci."

"I wouldn't know, she's nothing to do with me any more," Shaz told him turning back to her paperwork and writing angrily and at high speed.

"Woah, no, Shaz, something's going on," Jake leaned on the desk, "what happened, did you have a fight?"

Shaz turned back to him and this time he realised how red her eyes appeared. Did she have a raging hangover? Or were they the result of a night of angry tears? He had to take a step back as her sharp words made him feel increasingly anxious.

"why don't you ask her, Jake?" she snapped, dispensing with the official greeting, "

"I would but she;s not here," Jake cried, alarmed by the strange angry snort that Shaz gave.

"That doesn't surprise me," she said crossly.

"Why?" Jake asked frantically, "was she pissed? Did you even find her last night? Or -"

"Look, Jake," Shaz cried, getting to her feet, "yes, something happened, and no, it's not my place to tell you. But," she was visibly shaking as she spoke, "you need to go and sort Marci out. Me and her are over. I can't do it."

"Do _what?"_ Jake cried but Shaz couldn't stand to hold any more conversation with him. She fled down to corridor towards the toilets where she fled into a cubicle and grabbed a screed of toilet roll to press to her eyes as tears began to fall. How could she tell Jake? She just couldn't. He'd never _believe_ her for one thing, not of Marci, not even with her recent behaviour, because he was her best friend and he would be too devastated to know that was the truth. She knew he would go into instant denial and she couldn't blame him.

She just had to hope that her words had worried him enough to send him seeking her and that he might just find the evidence that had been waiting for her the night before. Marci needed help, but whether she was going to get it or not remained to be seen.

~xXx~

"Sorry I'm late," Kim began as she slipped into her seat in the canteen, "I had so many files that I -" she froze on horror at the state of Robin's lunch, "What's _that_ supposed to be?"

Robin hastily swallowed his mouthful.

"Baked potato," he mumbled.

"And where exactly _is_ the baked potato?" Kim frowned and examined the plate a little more closely.

"Yeah... I might have gone a bit overboard with the beans," he admitted, "the ladle was bigger than I expected."

"You've _drowned_ the poor bugger!" Kim accused.

"He's been eating for five minutes and I've not seen a hint of potato yet," Simon told her, wrinkling up his nose.

"If you even _think_ about asking her for the industrial sized tin to restart your baked bean drum kit you'll be getting two pierced buttocks," Kim threatened and Robin looked a little guilty.

"Erm," he coughed slightly, "and if a baked bean tin _accidentally fell into the boot of my car..."_

"Then you'll get _two_ pierced buttocks and a Prince Albert," Kim admonished, "clear?"

Robin gulped.

"Very."

Kim sighed and shuddered at the sight of all the beans. It was giving her flashbacks to Robin's old baked bean phase

"I'm not following you into the bathroom tonight," she said warily, unwrapping her sandwich. She hesitated, sighed and said, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot," then banged her fist so loudly on the table that Robin's forkful of beans flew threw the air. _"Meeting open."_

"Oh _god_, do we _have_ to do the gavel thing?" Simon cried, clutching his chest.

"It's part of the fun!" Kim protested

"It's no fun at all, that's the problem!" Simon cried, "I was stressing over your 'best wedding present ever' idea half the_ night!"_

"Only half?" asked Robin and Simon sighed.

"Yeah," he sighed, "the other half was spent stressing how to throw a Gene-approved stag night."

"Ooh, rather you than me," Robin shuddered.

"At least he's expecting the worst so unless I take him to a Red Dwarf convention it'll be pretty hard to disappoint him," Simon mumbled, folding his arms.

"Just give him a plate of fishy biscuits and a beer and he'll be happy," Kim suggested.

"The sad part is, that's probably true," Simon nodded despondently.

"Onto other wedding matters," Robin began, "anyone had any ideas about how to break the Railway Arms?" A resounding silence met him and with a roll of his eyes he dug his fork back into his beans. "Don't all talk at once, guys, will you?" he sighed.

"Alright," Kim began, "let's look at it in another way; How has time been broken _before?_ It's happened... what, three times?"

Simon nodded.

"The first time was when Alex saved Shaz," he said.

"Saving a native who was due to expire," Kim muttered as she pulled a notebook from her pocket and began to scribble it down which earned her mocking giggles from Robin and Simon. She looked up and glared at the. "What?"

"You've turned into Alex," Simon observed.

"Alex does not have the monopoly on notebooks," Kim told him, poking her tongue out afterwards.

"We can't exactly go around saving random people since we don't know which ones are about to die," Robin pointed out.

"Very true," Kim said, crossing the line back out, "so what else?"

Simon bristled instantly as he folded his arms and huffed,

"Fictional characters appearing in the fucking car park."

"Yeah, well," Kim began as she scribbled a Tardis on the page, "short of raiding Jake's unusual contraception stash I think that was a one off."

"We can only hope," Simon huffed, then hesitated, "hang on, what was that?"

"Nothing," Kim giggled, glancing at Robin who tried to shush her. When Robin turned back to his bean mountain Kim mouthed to Simon, _'I'll tell you later' _and he perked up with a smug smile.

"So," he began eventually, "that only leaves one option."

Kim nodded grimly.

"One of the _incidentals _discovering what it's all about," she said distantly. Her head bowed slightly as she recalled her first day at Fenchurch East as a DCI when Shaz and Evan realising that all was not well had caused the pub to open its doors. It had been one hell of a traumatic day. It wasn't something she wanted to repeat. "What would we even _do?" _she sighed, "run up to random strangers in the street yelling, _'Surprise! You're in purgatory!'"_

The three of them fell silent, except for the sound of Robin letting out an exclamation of surprise as he finally reached the potato under multiple layers of beans. They were no better off now than they'd been at the start of the meeting.

"We're running out of time for this," Kim said sadly, "we need to have a _proper_ meeting.

"Tonight?" Robin asked.

"Can't do tonight," Kim sand with a sigh, "Alex has brought forward her _something blue._"

"He what?" Simon asked suspiciously.

"Relax, it's a tattoo," Kim sighed, "she's getting a new tattoo. She's trying to keep it a surprise until the wedding night."

"Tomorrow then?" Robin suggested.

"I'm trying to throw together this bloody _stag_ night for tomorrow," sighed Simon.

"And the day after that is the last day before the wedding," Kim added.

"This is hopeless," Robin groaned, almost sinking into his beans with despair.

"Right," Kim said, getting to her feet, "we'll try one more time to think this over at lunch tomorrow and after that if we cant find a better way of getting their friends out that damn pub then we'll just have to scrap the idea and go for a toaster instead."

"From all _three_ of us?" Simon asked incredulously, remembering the abuse he received from Alex and Gene when he'd bought them a toaster once before.

"A gold plated one," Kim, said, slamming her fist on the table which made Robin scream, "meeting adjourned"!"

"What about your sandwich?" Robin asked.

Kim looked at it, wrinkling up her nose.

"that's been adjourned too," she said, "slight after-taste of sprouts."

"Ugh," Simon flinched, standing up and scurrying away.

"There'd better not be one buried under here," Robin commented as his bean-fest continued.

"There'd better not be the start of a _drum kit _in the car," Kim reminded him. She rubbed his shoulder and kissed him on the head before she said, "I'm sorry about tonight, Rob, I've got to do this tattoo for Alex, so no quiet night in."

"It's no problem," Robin shrugged with a smile, "it'll give me a chance to finish icing the last tier."

"As long as tiers of cake are the only kind of tears I'll be coming home to," Kim smiled. She gave a little sigh as she set off back to her office. She felt frustrated and disappointed that ideas were not forthcoming but she hadn't given up yet. Where there was a will there was a way and I'm wasn't going to give up on the idea of the ultimate pub crawl yet.


	9. Chapter 8: Cats, Cameras and Cookies

**Chapter 8**

Bradbury tapped his fingers nervously on the table as gene and Alex sat opposite, started taping the interview and introduced themselves. What the hell was he doing there? He closed his eyes and felt desperate, almost like he couldn't breathe. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to _say_. Life had been hard enough but suddenly it had been turned upside down.

"Mister Bradbury, are you certain you do not want legal representation?" Alex asked and he shook his head quickly. Oh god, that would just make everything even worse, even more difficult. He didn't know what he would ever have said to a lawyer.

"No," he said quickly, his voice low, "I don't want anyone."

"Yeah, well, " Gene leaned back, "when there's the threat of someone sending Evan White your way I can't blame you."

"Mister Bradbury, can you tell me in your own words about the headed exchange that took place yesterday in church?" Alex told him but Bradbury seemed distracted.

"Is mum OK?" he asked.

"You can't be holding her hand all your life," Gene barked.

Bradbury ignored Gene and spoke urgently to Alex.

"She needs supervision, I've been caring for her for months, but recently she's needed more care than I can offer and -"

"It's alright," Alex told him with a softer tone in her voice, "I've asked DS Dawson to sit with her. He's a trained first-aider and he's also well aware of her condition so he'll take good care of her."

"She doesn't always react well to strangers," Bradbury said anxiously.

"If he needs any assistance I'm sure he will call for help," Alex told him, "now, the faster you answer our questions the faster this will all be over." She watched him nodding slowly. "He didn't seem convinced but she knew Jake was more than capable. She linked her fingers and leaned forward slowly. "Now, Mister Bradbury, can you please tell us in your own words exactly what took place yesterday morning in church?"

Bradbury looked down, breathing in slowly. He looked a little as though he was slipping into a trance as he said quietly,

"I went to see him. The vicar. Patrick whatshisname."

"Raitt," Alex told him and he nodded.

"Patrick Raitt," he repeated, "_man of god," _he gave a slightly vicious laugh, "problem was, some years ago god came unto him and told him to strip my family of every penny they had. His techniques were..." be shuddered, "aggressive at best. He started shooting off apologies left, right and centre and, lo, how his parish forgave him." He looked Alex in the eye, "my mum and dad never saw a penny of the money he conned out of them. He was happy to flap his lips and tell them God would make everything right in heaven. And I can only bloody hope so because he drove my dad there."

"So what were you doing yesterday?" Alex pressed and Bradbury looked down again, his eyes full of strain.

"Mum's diagnosis," he began, "it hit me hard but I'd done everything I could to look after her. Protect her. But her latest assessment," he shook his head, "they said she needed constant care. I couldn't take any more time off work and she needs to go into a home for her own safety. They offered her a place. Craphole, it is. I don't want to leave her in some dumping ground." He sighed and looked at Alex urgently, "there's another place. But we'd have to pay and she's got nothing. The whole of her ruddy retirement fund is in the church roof. I went to see the Vicar. He'd done lost of apologising with his lips but none with his wallet. I asked him if he could help. He said he'd fucking pray for us!" he spat angrily, "I said we needed more than that and he said he couldn't give us a penny. He's been giving all his wages back to the church apart from a nominal amount to live on, to _atone for his sins." _He gave a mocking laugh. "I told him, the church doesn't need that money, it's already got my parents' entire retirement fund! He said he'd do a collection in church!" he banged his fists on the desk.

"Calm down Mister Bradbury before I have to call a divine intervention from security," Gene threatened.

Bradbury hung his head.

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"What did you say to him after he offered the collection?" Alex asked.

"Not much I _could_ say," Bradbury shook his head, "a few fifty pence pieces won't help. I threatened to stick a few things in some places and then I left."

"And when you left where did you go?" Alex asked.

"I went home."

"Straight home?"

"I had mum in the car," Bradbury told her. He started scratching his arm involuntarily, "I didn't want to leave her hanging around, it had already been a difficult morning.

"So you went straight home?" Gene asked, somewhat sarcastically, "any witnesses? One of yer six feline accomplices maybe?"

"I do have a witness as it happens," Bradbury snapped his fingers, "neighbour saw me get back. Postman had a parcel for me and couldn't leave it outside. My neighbour took it in for me. Mister Briginsghaw."

"What time was this, Mister Bradbury?" Alex asked.

"About half twelve?" Bradbury shrugged.

"Half twelve," Gene repeated, shuffling some papers, "Mrs Mop from the church -"

"He means the church cleaner," Alex sighed.

"...says your argument took place at half eleven."

Bradbury froze.

"So?"

Gene leaned back so far he almost fell backwards.

"Bit of a long time to argue, isn't it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "surprised you haven't lost your voice."

"I wanted him to give us what we deserved!"

"For an hour?"

"I was _determined!"_

"Actually," Alex referred back to the witness statement, "she saw you leaving at quarter to twelve."

Bradbury stared at her, visibly sweating.

"Well there you go then," he hissed

"takes forty five minutes to get home, does it?" Gene asked, "only I could have sworn when we went to yer house this morning it was no more than five minutes away from the church."

"We went for a drive, there's no harm in that,." Bradbury told him.

"You went straight home and went for a drive too?"

"We drove home the long way!" cried Bradbury, "to calm down!"

"What kind of bloody back route turns a five minute drive into a forty five minute one?" Gene demanded. He stared at Bradbury who looked stricken, panting as though he was running a race Gene folded his arms and stared. "The kind of route that goes via John O'Groats or something?"

Bradbury trembled visibly as he stared at Gene. He didn't seem to be able to breathe in enough oxygen to keep himself going. He flopped back in his seat and blinked, out of words.

"The kind of route I don't have an answer for," he murmured.

~xXx~

"And _this_ one is Mister Tiddles," Jake reeled as Mrs Bradbury thrust a large, fat black and white cat in his direction. Jake eyed it warily as it stuck its tongue out at him.

"Lovely," he muttered. He wasn't much of an animal person. He wasn't much of a people person that day either to be honest. His earlier exchange with Shaz was playing on his mind. He'd tried repeatedly to call Marci and there had been no reply, not at all. This wasn't like her in the slightest. He was worrying about Marci, stressing about Shaz and couldn't care less whether Mister Tiddles and Sergeant Whiskers were having a fight or being buddy-buddy pals. He fished his mobile phone from his pocket and hastily dialed a number. A few moments later Robin's voice came on the line.

"_Hello? Jake?"_

Jake closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.

_"Robin!_" he hissed, "you have to help me!"

_"What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" _Robin panicked.

"No, I'm stuck in a house full of cats and I want to borrow one of your bloody dogs to keep them at least ten meters away from me at all times!" Jake hissed as Mrs Bradbury waggled Senator Snagglepuss under his nose and he screeched "_Yyyyeeeeooowwww!"_

"_Jake?!" _Robin cried.

"I'm OK, there was an unexpected cat..." Jake protested and Robin sighed on the line.

"_What's really happening?_" he asked.

"DCI Hunt arrested a suspect for murdering his vicar,"Jake hissed, "and his mother needed supervision. She has alzheimer's and I got roped in to make sure she was alright."

There was a pause.

"_You mean cat sitting?"_ Robin asked.

"It's not funny!"

"_I never said it was!"_

"You giggled!"

Another pause.

"_I may have accidentally let out the tiniest of laughs..."_

Jake sighed and slumped against the wall.

"Please, Rob? Save me?" he begged and Robin relented.

_"Alright,"_ he sighed, _"give me the address and I'll be right over._

Jake gave him the address on the line.

"It's only five minutes away," he told him, "borrow a squad car, turn on the lights and you'll be here in three!"

"_This is not an emergency,"_ Robin scolded.

"It bloody is unless you want to arrest me for murdering a suspects mother!" cried Jake, "_and_ her six cats|!"

"I'll be right there," Robin assured him and hung up.

Jake sighed as he put his phone away. He swore if Robin made one joke about whether or not he was _feline fine_ he was going to have to scream.

~xXx~

Kim shook her head again. She'd been doing that for the past hour. Of all the cases she had ever dealt with she'd never encountered one that made less sense than the Surrey case.

"No ID, no DNA, no suspects, no evidence, no witnesses," she closed her eyes and leaned back, sighing deeply. "So far the only thing reported from around that time were four sightings of a giant squirrel." She closed the first file that came to hand and folded her arms with a sigh. "Even if I lock up Simon that's not exactly going to help matters." she shook her head again. That was all she seemed to be able to do. There didn't seem to be any escape from the fact that she was going to have to head down to Surrey again at some point.

Her stomach rumbled beneath her folded arms and she swore, cursing herself for abandoning her slightly sprouty sandwich. Reaching into her pocket for change, she decided a packet of biscuits was in order. No sooner had she got to her feet and made her way to the door, her DC, Imran, appeared with a fax.

"Witness reports from Surrey, ma'am," he said and Kim stared, open-mouthed.

"_Witness_ reports?" she repeated.

"Yes."

"You mean, actual people who actually _saw_ things?"

Imran took a step back nervously.

"Well, yeah," he frowned.

Kim blinked a few times, realising how stupid she must have sounded. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "Alright, thank you," she said, taking the sheets of paper from Imran's hand. She looked at the fax and tried to compare its importance with her hunger pangs. Hmm, they were about on equal footing. _Delegate_. That was the way. She hurried through to the main office where Em had been stationed for the day, drawing more photofits for Gene to claim as world-class tennis players.

"Oi," Kim called, "do you feel like escaping this place for a bit?"

"Like, for the rest of my life?" Em asked hopefully, climbing to her feet slowly, "what do you want me to do?"

"Special mission," Kim told her, walking forward with coins aimed in her direction, "biscuit trip!"

"I don't know the area very well " Em said apologetically. She more or less knew only the route from the station to her house, from her house to the pub and the occasional road she'd visited because she'd stalked TV filming locations back in her teens and at one point had more maps of London in her handbag than coins.

"There is a corner shop five minutes away," Kim told her, them paused, "OK, more like ten minutes, but I'm hungry so run and make it five." She pointed to Em's head. "Stick a flashing blue light on there and you'll make it in half the time."

Despite herself Em had to smile.

"I'll dye it blue, is that a good compromise?"

"Nah, dying it takes too long," Kim smiled back. She handed Em the coins. "Turn right out of the station and look for signs to Broadgate," she said, "there are a few shops in the complex. You'll find the one I'm thinking of no problem. Digestives are fine," she hesitated as she watched Em head to the door, "just don't get tuna to go with them, OK?" She made her way slowly back to her office and closed the door, slumping back into her chair. "OK, Suirrey," she began to herself, "let's see what you've got for me."

She opened up the screeds of paper and read one witness report after another;

_"Didn't see anything."_

"_Nothing suspicious."_

"_Wasn't in area at time."_

Incredulously she stared at the useless reports and gave a lengthy whimper.

"This is the case that just keeps giving," she cried.

~xXx~

The two teens walked through the open complex; the hot summer sun beating down on their shoulders. For Nicol it was just another day up in the capital with her friend Lou, seeing where the day took them, occasionally persuading Lou to go to some such road or another for reasons that Lou wouldn't find out until after the event and then wondered why she'd been dragged there. On most occasions that was fine. On the occasion in which Nicol had dragged her around Boreham Wood for 2 and a half hours she was not quite so forgiving.

"I think it's just down here," Nicol said, turning around the corner but Lou seemed not to head. "Lou? _Lou?_" it was only on the third attempt that Lou turned around.

"Sorry?"

"It's round here," Nicol said again, feeling a little anxious about Lou's behaviour. She'd been increasingly distant, but then again so had everyone. People seemed not to hear her or to not even recognise her. Friends had blanked her in the street, phone calls unanswered, letters returned unopened. She hadn't even been able to get through to her girlfriend when she dialled her new number.

Nicol was feeling anxious and awkward about the behaviour of others but that wasn't the thing that was bothering her the most. It was that strange, nagging feeling in the back of her mind, as though something was wrong and she couldn't put her finger on it. Every morning she woke up under a cloud. Her emotions were hazy. The things that once brought her joy were now met with indifference. It felt as though she was leading only half a life.

When Lou finally followed her into the centre of the complex, she hauled out her camera and started taking shots.

"I'll need to put a new film in soon," she said, "will you take one of me in front of the tower?" Lou seemed oblivious again. "_Lou!"_

"What?"

"Take one of me," Nicol insisted, thrusting the camera into her hands and rushing in front of the building she loved. She struck a stupid pose and waited for Lou to take the shot before taking back her camera and checking how many shots she had left.

She felt a strange tingle travel through her arms as a woman passed her by, jingling a pocket full of change on a biscuit mission. For a moment the stranger stopped and blinked, as though something was troubling her. She seemed to shudder visibly and glanced around, spooked by something unseen, before she hurried along to find the right shop and Nicol was left staring after her. There were goosebumps up and down her arms. She turned to Lou, surprised by the tremble in her voice.

"Did you think there was anything... _odd_... abut that woman?" she asked, "Lou?" But Lou was oblivious again. Rolling her eyes, Nicol shook her head and tapped Lou on the arm inside._ Forget it, forget the woman, forget everything. _"Do you want to just go?" she asked and Lou shrugged non-committally. "Fine," Nicol sighed, "we'll just go then." she shook her head, "you've barely said two words to me all day." But Lou could barely hear and certainly didn't acknowledge what she'd said. "Am I persona non grata or something?" Nicol muttered but the odd behaviour was affecting her more than she wanted to admit to. There was something wrong, something beyond a distracted friend or two.

Forget living half a life. It felt as though she was barely living at all.


	10. Chapt 9: Suspicion, Seesaw & Sunday Best

**Chapter 9**

Bradbury sat with his head deep in his hands as though he could slowly disappear away beneath his fingers. Alex began to wonder if he had a weird teleportation device in the palms of his hands, so intent he seemed upon hiding there. Finally she tried to coax him back out.

"Mister Bradbury," she began, "we found a shirt in your kitchen covered with blood. Whose blood is it?"

"It's mine," Bradbury said flatly, "I cut myself trimming the hedge."

"Bloody hell, lost a whole arm an' all, did you?" Gene demanded.

"That's a lot of blood for one small injury," Alex told him. She stared at his expression as he became decreasingly anxious. "What blood group are you?"

Bradbury finally looked up.

"What?"

"What's your blood type?" Alex asked again. He looked incredulous. "You know... O? A? Positive? Negative?" she waited but he didn't respond so with a sigh she produced a couple of sheets of paper. "We took the liberty of asking for your medical records to find out. You're type O positive." she showed him the paper, finally luring him out from his finger hideaway. "Preliminary tests on the blood found on your shirt show the blood is type A negative." she leaned forward. "The same as the poor vicar."

"DNA match might not be back yet but it doesn't take a sign from the lord Jesus 'imself to know that's a bit of a coincidence." He waited for Bradbury to respond but the man seemed frozen, unable to talk. "Thing is, Mister Bradbury, we've got a t-shirt with blood on it that looks like it's the vic's. We've got a witness placing you at the scene of the crime shortly before he met his maker, and we've got a blood-smeared virgin Mary who's slipped in favour from being the chosen one to clobbering a vicar round the 'ead. Looks like someone tried to wipe it for prints. Didn't do a very good job though." he saw Bradbury tremble a little, out of excuses, nothing to say. "Maybe we should get yer mum in."

"What?" Bradbury's head shot up and his eyes bolted.

"That got you moving then?" Gene raised a eyebrow, "only I thought yer fingers were suddenly so interesting you had the complete works of Shakespeare printed on there!" He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I wonder what _mother_ would say on that subject."

Bradbury's eyes widened further.

"Don't," he whispered.

"We've heard so much about this mother of yours, perhaps it's time to meet her."

"Leave my mother alone," Bradbury cried, "she's not fit to answer questions, she's got dementia!"

"So you keep saying," Gene said.

"Comes and goes, doesn't she Mister Bradbury?" Alex asked and gene sat up a little straighter.

"Well in that case let's get her in and see if she's coming or going," Gene clapped his hands.

"_No!"_

"Inter view suspended -"

"_No!" _

"At -"

"_Alright!_" Bradbury cried desperately, panting a little, "alright, I did it. It was me," he looked terrified and breathless as he whispered, "_I_ killed him. I hit him. I was the one who killed the man." he seemed to crumble before them, his head drooping and eyes fixed lifelessly on the table. Gene leaned back and boasted a smug smile.

"Well, Mister Bradbury," he began, "this has just started to get interesting, has it not?"

~xXx~

"Oh god, oh Christ, thank _fuck_ you're here," Jake threw himself at Robin so fast that for a horrible moment Robin thought he was supposed to catch him in his arms like the hero saving the damsel in distress.

"What the _hell?_" he cried.

_"Cats!" _Jake cried, "cats everywhere!"

"I didn't know you felt so strongly against them," Robin frowned, attempting to peel Jake away long enough to walk through the door.

"Usually I'm not," Jake insisted "usually I just ignore animals to be honest, but..."

"_There_ you are!" Mrs Bradbury finally located the last cat and prepared to make her introductions.

"...I've never encountered them _en masse_ before," Jake concluded as Robin closed the door.

"Who's this?" Mrs Bradbury frowned.

"I'm Chief Inspector Thomas," Robin said a little warily as she approached holding what he presumed was supposed to be a cat but actually resembled a nuclear explosion in fur. It hissed, it spat and its paws swiped wildly in the air, searching for flesh. "I..." Robin swallowed, "I got a call from DS Dawson. He..." he took a step back. "What the hell _is_ that?" he demanded eventually.

"This is Seesaw," Mrs Bradbury told them.

_"Seesaw?"_ Jake cried. After the auspicious titles that the other cats bore it seemed a strange exception. "Why _Seesaw?"_

"Because his popularity goes up and down," Mrs Bradbury explained, holding Seesaw at arm's length.

"Please tell me that thing's been fed already," Jake begged, doing his best to hide behind a plant pot. To his horror Mrs Bradbury dropped the furious feline to the floor but thankfully he shot up the nearest curtain and stayed there so neither Robin nor Jake had to contend with losing a leg.

"I'm sorry, young man, I must get on with the washing now," she said.

"How about getting on with the _not-showing-me-your-collection-of-cats?_" Jake begged. He turned to Robin as Mrs Bradbury began a slow walk up the stairs. "This was _not_ in my job description!" he cried.

"Jake, if I were you I'd concentrate on stopping it from being on your gravestone," Robin urged him as Seesaw gave an almighty hiss from several feet above. It was going to be one of those days.

~xXx~

Bradbury stared at his hands against the table. He knew Alex and Gene were waiting for him to give a full confession. He didn't know what to say.

"You going to fill in any of the blanks for us now you've said yer piece?" Gene prompted and Bradbury exhaled slowly.

"I'll tell you everything if you can guarantee mum's OK," he said.

"Mister Bradbury, she's with -" Alex began but he cut her off.

"I want to make _sure_ everything's alright," he insisted, "she's not used to spending time with strangers, it's hard to know how she'll react." He swallowed as though he was talking too fast for his mouth to catch up to the words his brain was sending it. "I just need to know. Can you at _least_ speak to the bloke you sent?"

"Confession first," Gene tapped the table, waiting impatiently and Bradbury closed his eyes.

"It's like you said," he began, his voice flat and devoid of emotion, "it wasn't going to take _that_ long to get home. I went to church, we argued, I waited until the cleaner left and then I went back. I told him he had one last chance to help me and he refused. I lashed out in anger and he started bleeding everywhere. I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't even mean to _hit_ him. I was just so angry... I panicked and ran."

"Ran?" Alex repeated.

"Home."

"_Home?"_

Bradbury frowned.

"What?"

"You ran home while your mother was still waiting outside in the car?"

Bradbury stared at her, his brain scrambled.

"I ran to the car," he cried, "and drove home."

"And all of this took forty minutes?"

Bradbury looked confused and stricken, as though he didn't even know what to say.

"I -" he didn't seem to manage to get past that word, "I -"

"If you hadn't intended to strike the vicar or to hurt him in any way why did you wait until the cleaner had gone before you went back?"

"I wanted privacy..."

"In fact," Alex continued, "you seemed surprised earlier to know that the cleaner had seen you at all. Did you even realise she was there?"

"Does it matter?" Bradbury cried.

"When it feels as though you're spinning us a line, it does!"

"All I want is to know if mum's alright!" Bradbury cried, "just tell me how she's doing! I already told you I killed the man, what _more_ do you want?"

"Oh go and ring his bloody mum, tell her he needs his arse wiping, make sure Dawson's in one piece and then we'll prise the rest from him," Gene grunted somewhat tiredly, fed up with the whole case.

"_Please?"_ Bradbury urged. Alex wasn't happy, not at all. Something really wasn't right, not only with Bradbury's confession but his concern for his mother. She understood that he was worried about her and anyone in his place would be, but there seemed more to it than that.

"Alright," she said slowly, getting to her feet, "interview suspended." She walked towards the door. "I'll be five minutes."

"_Thank_ you," Bradbury said, deflating with relief.

Alex shook her head slowly as she left the interview room. A less sincere confession she'd never heard.

~xXx~

"What the hell are we going to _do?"_ Jake hissed, "we're stuck here with a bloody zoo!"

"_We?!"_ Robin hissed back, "I'm only here as a personal favour! You've got to stay as long as you're needed!"

"Oh _thanks_! Running out on me _already!"_

"This is giving me flashbacks to my lion taming phase," Robin groaned, his hands reaching up and covering his eyes in despair.

"Don't mind me," Mrs Bradbury said, shuffling through to the kitchen, "I'm just going to do the laundry."

"Are there any cats in there?" Jake asked warily.

"Oh no, dear, they don't like the noise of the machine," she told him.

Jake and Robin exchanged a glance and immediately followed at speed.

The kitchen looked like a far safer option. It was fairly modern, if as little plain. The green tiles and cream wallpaper weren't exactly a stunning combination. The two men stood in the doorway as she knelt beside the washing basket, beginning to offload her whites into the machine.

"Have you got much washing to do?" Robin asked.

"Oh, no, just this lot, and then we'll go back in the lounge and you can meet Treasurer Twitchytail," she promised him.

Jake and Robin turned to one another, their faces falling.

"Just the news I wanted to hear," Jake whimpered.

Robin looked at the pile of washing.

"No more blodstained t-shirts in there, I suppose?" he asked a little tastelessly.

"No, not t-shirts," Mrs Bradbury said, before straightening up and saying, "_Oh!_ But you've _reminded_ me!"

Jake and Robin froze, exchanging a glance.

"Not that it's time for Seesaw's daily sacrifice?" Robin asked.

"Excuse me," Mrs Bradbury said, shuffling towards the pantry, "I almost forgot. My poor sunday best."

"What about it?" Robin asked as Jake's phone rang.

"Bugger," he mumbled, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out the phone and answered the call. "DS Dawson?"

"_Jake," _Alex's voice came on the line, "_Bradbury's demanding to know of his mother's alright."_

"I'm not sure 'alright' is the word I'd use," Jake mumbled, then sighed. "No, she's fine. Not sure about my peace of mind after this though. I'll need counselling for years."

"_Thank you for looking after her, Jake," _Alex told him, _"hopefully this will be over with soon and some proper care will be arranged. Bradbury isn't helping himself at the moment."_

"What do you mean?" asked Jake as the old woman backed out from the pantry with a bundle of white material in her arms.

"Wanted me to get rid of this, he did," she said, "_not my Sunday best, _I said!"

"_It's his confession,_" Alex's voice continued, _"it's not ringing true. I feel as though we've missed something somewhere."_

As she spoke the white material unravelled in Mrs Bradbury's hands and revealed a very smart, very prim and very blood-soaked white dress.

Jake swallowed.

"F-funny you should say that," he stammered.

_**~xXx~**_

_**A/N: Please bear with me, I'm going through a rough time at the moment. I've written absolutely tons in the last 3 days but I'm having trouble actually talking to people rather than making characters talk amongst themselves. I'm sorry for not being around much, and equally sorry for the barrage of chapters and extra side fic I'll be throwing out later this week. I've written about 30,000 words in the last 3 days so there's a fair bit coming up. Thanks for your patience x**_


	11. Chapter 10: Falling, Flesh & Flashbacks

**Chapter 10**

"M-Mrs Bradbury," Robin swallowed, "can you please tell me what happened to your dress?"

Mrs Bradbury turned around.

"He told me to _burn_ it!" she said indignantly, "I said, _treat the stain and it'll come right out._ This is my best dress! Been to church in this thing every Sunday for eight years! Had to let it out a little... patch up a snag or two... but it's my favourite."

"Yes, but the blood..." Robin began.

"_Jake?_" Alex's voice came through urgently, _"what's going on?_

"I... I don't know exactly," Jake swallowed, "except I think Mrs Bradbury is about to treat a vital piece of evidence with Vanish stain remover."

"_What?! Then stop her!" _cried Alex.

"Ma'am, get someone over here _now!" _Jake told her as Mrs Bradbury looked up, confused.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Give me the dress," Jake told her, the phone still in his hand as he stepped forward.

"What happened to the dress, Mrs Bradbury?" Robin asked slowly.

"It's just blood, I've got out worse than this," she said affably.

"_Whose_ blood?" Robin asked.

"Mister Vicar's," Mrs Bradbury said, "I did _not_ expect this much of it, I don't mind telling you."

"How did the blood get onto your dress?" Jake asked, stepping closer.

Mrs. Bradbury stared at him, then back at her garment.

"You know, I'm really not sure," she frowned.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" asked Robin.

"Yesterday?" Mrs Bradbury repeated, "I don't know. Who are you?"

"Give me the dress," Jake told her, finally close enough to take it from her but to his horror she gave an ear-splitting shriek and snatched it back.

"Get _off_ me!" she cried, "Get _out_ of my _home!"_

"Mrs Bradbury -" Jake began calmly but she reached for a knife from the block beside her and he soon found a long bread knife pointing in his direction.

"Oh _fuck,_" Robin breathed, the sight of the knife bringing flashbacks he had never expected, to the weapon favoured by Keats on the barge when his life was in danger and his fear so goddamned high. He recalled watching Keats using that knife to threaten him and Kim, to saw through ropes and then to cause the terrible damage to his torso that only Kim's stunning designs and tender touch had helped him to heal from the mental scars. Now the sight of such an object drawn had brought back fears he had buried long ago. He knew he couldn't let it get the better of him. For both their sakes he had to stay calm and collected.

"_Out!"_ she hissed, her eyes darting from one to another.

"Mrs Bradbury," Robin began slowly, "we're the police and we just want to help you but we can't do that if you're threatening my colleague with a knife," he tried to think about Kim's training in hostage negotiation, calling upon his memories of the nights he'd helped her run through scenarios, trying to work out the right things to say. He wished she was there right them. Oh _fuck_, why hadn't he hauled her over to the cat-infested place with him?

"Who's _this_ one?" Mrs Bradbury demanded, pointing to Jake.

"That's DS Dawson," Robin said slowly, "remember?"

"He's not a policeman!"

"I'm a detective," Jake reminded her, "I'm here to help you, not hurt you."

"I don't need help, I just want my boy!" Mrs Bradbury stepped back, clinging to her dress with one hand and the knife with the other, "Terry! _Terry_!" she cried.

"I'm looking after you until Terry gets back -" Jake began but she held the knife in his direction again.

"Get out!" she cried.

"Can I have the knife, Mrs Bradbury?" Jake asked gently and stepped closer.

"Jake, no, don't move -" Robin cried but his plea came too late as he saw a flash of anger and fear in the woman's eyes and she lashed out with the knife, drawing it across Jake's arm, drawing a scream from him as it cut through the thin cotton of his shirt and into his skin.

"_Get away from me!"_ she cried as Jake dropped slowly to the ground, clinging to his arm.

"_Shit!"_ he cried as blood seeped through his shirt and Robin was left stricken for a moment, torn between running to Jake or dealing with Mrs Bradbury first. For her part she seemed horrified by her own behaviour and turned to Robin, her mouth open.

"_I don't know what I've done!"_ she cried.

"It'll be alright," Robin held up his hands, "Just give the knife to me so that no one else can get hurt." he could feel himself shaking, "please."

"I don't want to go to prison!" she cried as Robin stepped closer.

"Then the first thing you need to do is give me the knife," Robin began but found her lunging in his direction and he panicked. _"Not like that!_" he breathed. Somehow his reflexes served him well and he grasped her wrist firmly with one hand, then released the knife from her grasp, tossing it across the room. He could already hear a siren in the distance as he pulled out his handcuffs and began to fasten them on Mrs Bradbury's wrists, despite her reluctance to let go of her prized dress. He quickly picked up Jake's phone which fell to the floor as he'd dropped, and he could hear Alex's worried voice on the line demanding to know what was going on.

"Alex," he cried, "I need an ambulance too!"

"_Help's on its way," _Alex told him, "I'll request an ambulance too. _What's happened, Robin? What are you even doing there?"_

"It's a long story, just get the ambulance!" Robin told her, cutting the call sharply as a loud knock came at the door. Robin breathed a sigh of relief as he raced to open it, even though he wanted nothing more than to attend to Jake and stay by his side. Moments earlier Seesaw had seemed the biggest threat in the household. Now with one swift cut of the knife demons were crawling out of his memory and bringing back the past.

~xXx~

A very solemn Alex returned to the room, sat down, opened up the interview again and stared at Bradbury.

"Terry," she began quietly, and instantly he knew.

"She's done something," his voice trembled, "hasn't she?" he looked up as Alex nodded.

"Yes," she said quietly.

Bradbury's expression crumpled as he bowed his head.

"Shit," he whispered.

"What _exactly_ has the old bird done?" Gene demanded.

Alex focused on Bradbury as she responded to Gene.

"She's hurt a detective," she said quietly, "DS Dawson. Luckily I was talking to him on the phone at the time so I was able to send assistance immediately. When uniform arrived they relayed to me the details." she took a deep breath. "Your mother," she began quietly, "was preparing to was a heavily bloodstained dress." She ignored the squeak of surprise from Gene and continued. "When DS Dawson attempted to take the dress she reached for a large bread knife and threatened him with it. She became confused and slashed his arm."

Bradbury's head sank into his arms on the tabletop.

"Shit," he breathed. He sounded tearful and defeated.

"Terry?" Alex began quietly, "would you like to tell us what really happened yesterday?"

Bradbury took a slow, deep breath in. Oh _god,_ he felt guilty for admitting it even to himself it but there was a strong sense of relief along with his despair. It was a strange and deadly combination. He swallowed, unsure what to say for some time until finally he began,

"Mum's got one or two..._ eccentricities."_

"Eccentricities?" Gene repeated, almost falling off his chair, "what, blue rinses, purple underwear and bumping-off vicars?"

"It's more than the dementia, I know that," Bradbury admitted, "she's always had a tendency to lash out. I don't know what it is, it's part of her nature."

Alex noticed him cradling his bruised knuckles.

"What _really_ happened to your hand, Mister Bradbury?" she asked gently.

"Nothing," he replied quickly, but almost immediately his defences fell again. He looked at her seriously. "She shut it in the car door. She was angry with me."

"How long has this been going on for?" Alex asked gently.

"She's always been qu-quick to snap," his voice wavered, "but since the alzheimer's it's been getting worse. She gets angry. She doesn't know how to deal with what's happening to her. She feels helpless and that's the only thing she can do."

Gene leaned forward, fingertips drumming in the table.

"Are you telling me Lady _Cat-_terly clobbered the Vicar, tried to amputate yer hand and had a sword fight with my DS?" he asked incredulously.

"Domestic violence comes in all forms," Alex told him.

"It's not domestic violence," Bradbury said quickly but his heart was sinking. It _was_. That's _exactly_ what it was. What it had _always_ been. Her confusion had made it more obvious and extended it to outsiders but it had always been there. _A clout around the head, a grab of the arm, a push, a shove, a slap._

"Terry?" Alex's gentle tone brought him back to the moment. "what happened in church?"

Bradbury swallowed. He couldn't quite meet anyone's stare as he said quietly;

"I left her in the car while I spoke to him. When I came back and told her he wouldn't give us anything..." he trailed away, staring at his painful fingers as he moved them slightly.

"She did that," Alex finished quietly and he gave a reluctant nod.

"It hurt like fuck," he whispered, "I stormed off. I didn't know what else to do. I walked round and round the bloody gravestones, I just wanted to keep walking forever but I couldn't. I had to get back to my mum." he closed his eyes. "When I'd made pretty sure there were no broken bones, only bruises, I went back to the car," he swallowed, "she wasn't there any more."

"Where was she?" Gene asked.

"I looked round the car park and the grounds, in case she'd gone for a wander. I thought she might have gone to dad's gravestone but I'd just come from there. Then I went in the church." He bowed his head, barely able to talk. "It was so quiet at first. Thought there was no one there. Then I heard her shouting about her bloody dress." He flinched at his poor choice of phrase. "She came running into the aisle. _It's ruined_, she said. I thought she was hurt at first and then I saw him laying there." he swallowed, "there was so much blood..."

"Go on," Alex urged him softly.

"I thought I was going to throw up," he said, "I just gripped onto her and hugged her. I didn't know what to do. I asked her what happened but she didn't remember, only that she was angry because he made her scared. I saw the statue, I tried to wipe it but there are so many groves... I couldn't get all the blood off so I left it. Wiped the prints and ran. Dragged mum to the car. I had my work jacket in the car so I threw it over my t-shirt. I put mum under a blanket in the back. I had to drive almost one handed, my knuckles..." he flinched. "I barely remember getting home. Drove straight into the garage so no one would see us. I sent mum upstairs right away, told her to get rid of that dress. I gave her my t-shirt too." he gave a bitter laugh. "What the _hell_ made her put it in the fucking wash?"

"She's a confused lady," Alex reminded him, "she probably tried to do what felt natural, to bring some normality to the situation."

Bradbury nodded slowly. He could understand that.

"Neighbour came round with my package," he said, "he'd seen me drive in. Waited for me to come back out, didn't realise the garage was connected through the side door. When I didn't reappear he came and rang the bell. I must have been in a real state, shirtless, busted hand..." he swallowed, "what's going to happen to her?"

Alex looked at him sympathetically.

"It's difficult to say," she told him, "with her health it's unlikely she'll face prison but there is a likelihood of a secure medical facility."

"With your charges for aiding and abetting, and for perverting the course of justice as an encore," Gene mumbled but Alex elbowed him. This wasn't the time.

"What about the cats?" Bradbury asked.

"Unless they've been bumping off dozy vicars I reckon we can let them go free," Gene scowled.

Bradbury sighed.

"Bugger."

Alex leaned back and let out a lengthy breath.

"I think we should stop the interview there," she said before terminating matters officially. Even though she'd had her doubts about Bradbury's confession she hadn't been expecting things to turn out this way. They may have got their conviction but there were no winners on this one.

~xXx~

"_You're OK, you'll be OK now,"_ Robin tried to reassure Jake as the paramedics finally arrived.

"Shit, I'm not very good with this," Jake breathed, the pain and the loss of blood making it hard for him to focus. He looked at Robin with slightly frantic expression. "I know I'm supposed to be the first aider... I'm fine with everyone _else's_ blood but I can't deal with my own!"

"Shhh, it's OK," Robin promised him, gently skimming his fingers through Jake's hair, "they're going to take you in, get your arm stitched and you'll be fine."

"Can you walk, sir?" the paramedic asked as Robin began to help Jake to his feet.

"Bit dizzy," Jake said weakly.

"You'll be alright," Robin reassured him, "I'll help you.

"Thank you," Jake said quietly and Robin and the paramedic took one side each, helping him slowly through the house. As they walked Jake said quickly, "Rob? Call Marci?"

"Of course."

"I've been trying all day but -"

"It's OK, I'll call and I'll keep on calling until I get a reply," Robin assured him.

"The machine's on and I left messages but -"

"I'll make sure she knows," Robin promised. He hesitated as they reached the ambulance. "Can I ride in with him?" he asked and the paramedic waved him inside. He hopped up the step and took a seat beside Jake who was starting to shiver from shock and being attended to by a paramedic with a rather vicious looking blood pressure machine. Robin reached into his pocket and found Jake's phone. "Is her number in here?" he asked, knowing full well it would be.

"Yes," Jake nodded.

"I'll call her," Robin promised.

~xXx~

Marci sat staring at the wall; her skin dull and lifeless, her eyes glassy and her head full of confusion. She had done little but stare at the wall for most of the day. There was only one thought on her mind, one thought that ran over and over again.

"What... the fuck... have I _done?"_

She closed her eyes and growled in anger at her own stupidity, _utter_ stupidity. What the hell did she think she was doing? How had she grown that desperate? When had the worst case scenario become reality? She hated herself. She hated herself with every bone in her body.

She remembered Shaz. She wasn't completely certain what she'd said to her but she could imagine. She remembered Shaz telling her it was over and that was as much as she needed to remember.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to shake herself by the shoulders and demand an explanation. What the hall was she doing to herself? To the people she loved? Jake had been leaving messages all day, others had left angry messages but she couldn't bear to talk to them.

Her hands were shaking._ Stop that,_ she told them. Her whole body was starting to follow suit, twitching and jumping as she started to crave more of the beautiful high from the night before. She knew there was more. More 'evidence' that she'd seized. Shit, she could just get it right now. Just take another hit and then everything would be OK.

The phone rang and she jumped a mile. What the fuck? Her heart raced as the machine took the call. Who was it _this_ time? Gene threatening her with her P45? Jake demanding to know where the hell she was? Maybe Shaz reminding her they were over?

"_Marci... it's Robin Thomas here..." _Robin? Well that wasn't who she expected. _"It's about Jake..." _OK, those weren't the words she expected either. _"He's been hurt."_

That did it.

With those words Marci's stomach dropped and her mouth fell open. She scrambled to her feet as though the words over the phone could see her.

"What?" she whispered.

_"...he says he's been calling you all day. Look, whatever is going on and whyever you've been treating him like shit lately you need to get over yourself because he needs you. He's heading to Fenchurch General. He's lost a lot of blood. He needs stitches in his arm and he'll be OK but he's scared and shaken. He needs you here. Just get over yourself and be there for him."_

As the message ended and the phone went dead Marci's heart raced so fast she thought she'd have to catch it before it disappeared out of the door. Shit, what the hell was happening? She couldn't remember ever feeling so scared by simple words. Jake was _hurt_? What had happened? He swallowed hard. The shakes and the tremors in her body were not going anywhere but suddenly the allure of the hit was not quite as strong as the need to run to Jake's side. Shit, she was in a real mess, a complete and utter fucking mess but she had no choice. She had already lost Shaz, she needed to ensure she didn't lose Jake as well.

As fast as she could, she threw some water onto her face, forced her wild hair into a rough ponytail and sprayed herself over with perfume to mask any untoward smells. She shook with every step as she left her flat. There was a moment of relief as she closed the door and left the remains of the drugs behind. While they were out of reach she couldn't give in. Jake was her priority right there and then.

What she couldn't say for sure was whether she would feel the same way a few hours down the line.

_**~xXx~**_

_**A/N: Thank you for being lovely; heads up that tomorrow as well as the next chapter I'm posting the first couple of parts of a mini side smutfic thing that was only supposed to be a missing scene but... grew :P**_


	12. Chapter 11: Hurt, Help & Heart Attacks

**Chapter 11**

Neither Alex nor Gene were in the mood for celebrating their latest collar as they headed back to CID.

"Sometimes you almost wish you didn't know the truth," Alex commented sadly. So much tragedy in one case. It weighed heavily on her heart.

"Guv," Bammo approached them as they entered, "you missed a call. Vicar's dead."

"You're a day late," Gene huffed.

"No, the new one's snuffed it."

"_What?_" Alex's mouth dropped open as Gene snatched the note from Bammo to read the details,

"Can people _please_ stop murdering our bloody _vicars?!"_ he cried.

"No, natural causes," Bammo told him, "Heart attack."

"Which is what _I'm_ going to have if they don't fix us up with another bloody dogcollar!" Gene cried.

"Don't worry, Gene, I'm on it," Alex assured him, taking the message from him, "I'll call them. We'll get this sorted."

"I hope you're not still looking for signs to call the bloody thing off," he said.

"_Gene," _Alex sighed sadly, "I was never looking for signs. Like you said, third time lucky," she shook her head, "and for the vicar, too." She touched his arm gently and looked at him with a sincere smile. "We're getting married on Saturday, , I promise, even if we have to ordain the woman with the big backside and bathe in holy sprout water." She left the office to attend to sorting out vicar number three, crossing Kim's path in the corridor, "_Kim!"_

"Ma'am?" Kim hesitated, "is everything alright?"

"Not... exactly..." Alex closed her eyes and sighed, "More dead vicars. Kim, have you heard from Robin?"

"No, why?"

Alex hesitated.

"There's been an incicent," Alex began, hurriedly saying, "_Robin_ is fine, but Jake -"

Kim looked anxious as she hesitated.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"He's in hospital," Alex explained, "he was attacked. He's had stitches in his arm and he's lost some blood but he's doing OK. Robin is with him."

"Well, that's good," Kim said, "at least he's not alone."

"The thing is," Alex began quietly, "she used," her voice hitched, "a bread knife." Instantly she saw Kim's whole expression cloud with painful memories, "I thought I should warn you. Robin might be feeling unnerved."

Kim nodded slowly. She remembered the difficult night on which they had explained to Alex the full details of Keats's attack.

"Thank you for warning me," she said quietly, "can I -" she began looking towards the exit.

"Yes," Alex interrupted, "of course, go and see him," she hesitated, "If you need to cancel tonight -"

"I'll see how he is, Ma'am, I'll let you know," Kim said quickly, "thank you. Thanks for being so understanding."

"Of course," Alex said quietly as she watched her go. It felt as though the day was destined to distress every one of them one way or another.

~xXx~

"Look at that," Jake shook his head as he looked at the state of the stitches in his arm.

"It's better than Kim's sewing," Robin tried to cheer him up. For someone who was a competent first aider Jake _really_ hated hospitals.

"Maybe she'll work her magic and cover it up with art instead," Jake mused.

"I can see you with a tattoo," Robin told him.

"I can see me _fainting_ getting a tattoo," Jake commented and they both laughed softly. For Jake it was a new experience having someone there for him in Robin's capacity. He'd always had Marci to call on but this was different. It was strange but even more than half a year on he still found it hard getting used to being anything other than single. He had to admit that it felt god to have someone like Robin making sure he was OK. "Thank you, Rob, for everything you did," he said quietly, "I was terrified."

Such a frank admission wasn't easy for Jake to give. Robin squeezed his hand.

"I'm just glad you're safe," he told Jake.

"So am I," Jake smiled.

"_So am I."_

Robin and Jake turned to the doorway as another voice spoke.

"_Marci?"_ Jake almost gasped in surprise. Even though Robin had left a message she'd been the last person he expected to see, especially in such a state. "My god, you look worse than _me."_

"I've got flu," she lied, "stomach flu. Been chucking up all day. Couldn't get to the phone," she swallowed, "sorry."

"You can't come in here if you're sick," Robin cried in alarm.

"I'm past the worst of it now," Marci told him.

"You could pass it round the whole hospital!"

"Well I'm _here_ now!" Marci said crossly. She took a deep breath. "Can you give us a minute?"

Robin glanced at Jake who nodded.

"OK," he said. He turned to Jake properly and rubbed his good arm gently. "I'll just be outside,|" he promised and left the room with a slight glare at Maarci on the way. Marci supposed she deserved that. She walked towards the bed and cautiously sat beside him. "Are we still friends?" she asked quietly.

Jake looked at her warily.

"_You_ tell _me_," he said quietly.

Marci looked down and swallowed.

"H-have you spoken to Shaz?" she asked quietly.

"I tried to," Jake told her, "She said you'd split up." Marci looked down. "Is that true?"

Marci swallowed.

"Did she tell you why?" she asked.

"She wouldn't tell me much at all," Jake informed her, "she said I should ask you." he hesitated, "so I'm asking you. What happened?"

Marci swallowed.

"I've made mistakes, Jake," she whispered, trying hard to fight back tears, "a _lot_ of them lately. I don't want to keep being like this. Pushing you all away, Treating you like shit."

"Then _don't_," Jake urged her, "fuck's sake, Marci, tell me what's wrong so I can _help_ you."

Marci stared at her hands, turning them over and over; palms, backs, palms again.

"It's... it's _my_ problem," she whispered, "I need to work through it myself."

"You don't have to, Marci, you have people who love you and want to help you."

"But I need to do this alone," Marci took in a deep breath. "I'm messing everything up. I know that. But when I got that call, about you..." she stared at his arm and the sight of it made her gag. "Oh _god_, what _happened?"_

"Old woman with a bread knife," Jake choked out a weak laugh. "It was more disturbing than it sounds.

"No, believe me, it sounds disturbing enough," Marci assured him. She gave him a tiny smile, urging her arms not to shake. "Shit, I was so scared of losing you, Jake. You're the best friend I've ever had."

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her but she looked down, knowing that the truth could change everything. She needed to hide it and needed to fight it.

"Give me another chance, Jake. I'll be better, I'll be _me_ again, we'll forget everything, I'll speak to Shaz, we'll just be like we always were."

"That's what I want, Marci," he told her, "I want my best friend back, not whatever you turned into." He watched her look downward in shame. "I'm sorry, but you really have been acting like a stranger."

"I know," Marci nodded, "but that's going to change. I promise."

As she hugged him carefully and relished the feeling of his arm hugging her back she hoped and prayed that she could keep her word. She tried to ignore the angry urges running through her body but they weren't going anywhere. This was not going to be easy.

~xXx~

"_Robin! Rob!"_

Kim's urgent voice had been the last thing Robin was expecting as he paced up and down in the corridor, hoping Marci and Jake weren't killing one another.

"_Kim?" _he glanced up as she ran towards him.

"I heard about what happened," she cried breathlessly, "how's Jake doing?"

"He's OK, he's doing OK," he breathed as Kim arrived in front of him. She was surprised to find herself enveloped in a hug of epic proportions which she returned warmly.

"Oh _Rob_," she sighed, "I'm so sorry, it must have been awful."

"It wasn't the best day on record," he said quietly, "Kim, she used a breadknife -"

"_I know, I know,_" Kim closed her eyes as she held him close. She rubbed his back softly as she whispered, "how are you doing, Rob, are _you_ OK?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he promised her, "it brought some stuff back.. I couldn't help that... but I'm OK, really."

"I'll cancel tonight if you like, Rob," Kim told him, "we'll spend the night in."

"No. No, don't do that," Robin told her.

"Alex will understand," Kim began but Robin pulled back, shaking his head.

"No, don't you dare," he told her, "you've already given me my armour. The memory of the knife isn't going to get through _that_."

When Kim realised Robin was talking about the tattoos across his chest it made her feel warm inside,. She looked at him, trying not to smile since it seemed inappropriate. She didn't manage it though.

"That's what I wanted," she whispered, "that's what they're there for."

"I know," Robin nodded, the slightest smile on his lips, "and they do their job perfectly." he took a deep breath. "Don't cancel tonight, Kim. Alex needs your talents too. I can do my best at looking after Jake for the evening. Piss him off by taking over his kitchen. Do a very bad job of doing first aid. Get told that I need to stick to my day job."

Kim smiled and gave a soft laugh.

"If you're sure," she said and Robin nodded.

"I'm sure," he said.

Kim nodded slowly and brushed the fringe from his face.

"Alright," she told him, "I'd better get back. I just wanted to make sure you were OK."

"You didn't have to come all the way here for that," Robin told her, his smile telling her the opposite. The one thing that would make him feel better no matter what was the sight of Kim.

"See you tonight then," she told him.

"_Late_ tonight," Robin interjected.

"Are you staying over at Jake's?" Kim asked and Robin developed a devilish smile.

"I wasn't talking about me," he said.

Kim took a moment to work out what he meant.

"_Rob -"_

"Alex isn't calling it _something blue_ for nothing, you know," he teased and she felt her face reddening.

"Shush you," she warned him, "go poke Jake in the stitches or something. See you later."

Robin smirked a little at the sight of Kim's ears turning pink as she trotted away.

"_See you in the morning, more like,"_ he called after her as she glanced back with a slightly bewildered expression.

"tattoo's not _that_ big, Rob," she said, poked out her tongue and scarpered to the sound of his laughter.

~xXx~

"Got one."

Gene glanced up from his scotch.

"A verruca?" he asked.

Alex pulled a face and sat down opposite him.

"A new vicar," she said, "they have confirmed that the replacement vicar has been replaced by a vicar with a clean bill of health and a clean criminal record."

"Wonders will never cease," Gene threw the last of his scotch down his throat and stood up. "Funny old day."

Alex narrowed her eyes at him.

"There's that phrase making a come back," she said, but she was only teasing. A touch of familiarity was no bad thing after the turbulent day. "_Ohhh_, I could just fall into bed," she sighed.

"I thought Stringer was turning you blue," Gene reminded her,.

"I never said whose bed," Alex teased, the expression on Gene's face setting off laughter that, after the day they'd had, she well and truly needed. With a sigh she took Gene's coat from the stand and tossed it in his direction. "Come on," she said, "let's get out of here. Before any further members of the cloth meet an unfortunate end."

"It's whether _Stringer's_ going to be meeting an unfortunate end after your _something blue_ that I'm worried about," Gene remarked, silenced by surprise as Alex took hold of his tie and dragged him closer for a quick kiss. He hesitated and considered for a moment before concluding, "she might get a stay of execution if you distract me with a few more of those."

"I'm sure it can be arranged," Alex assured him.


	13. Chapter 12: Spice, Steam and Strippers

**Chapter 12**

Bright and early the following morning Gene looked up as the door to his office opened and Alex stepped inside, clutching a file.

"Good morning, DCI Drake," he raised an eyebrow at the spring in her step and somewhat smug look upon her face.

"Good morning, DCI Hunt," Alex shuffled to his desk and tossed the document onto it.

"What's this?" Gene asked.

"Your essay, as requested," Alex informed him as Gene lifted the file and read the heading; 'W_hy Victoria Is My favourite Spice Girl, By Alex Drake.'_

"Good choice for a posh bird," Gene nodded agreeably and Alex seemed proud.

"Why thank you, Guv," she said, swivelling a little on the spot.

"Six pages?" he asked.

Alex smiled, leaned in close and whispered,

"Front and back," then left a slow, teasing kiss on his cheek before making her exit from the room as Gene coughed loudly and used the document to hide the evidence that he was going to enjoy every last word of that essay.

It took several minutes for him to calm down enough from the _spice_ she'd added to the morning to be able to get up and leave the confines of his office, tucking Alex's essay away in the drawer for further perusal later on. He had another vital task to attend to for now. He marched with purpose through the corridor before arriving at the door of Simon's office which he opened without knocking and barked,

_"Shoebury!"_

Simon's file flew half a mile in the air in shock and he gave a yelp.

"_What?!"_ he cried, his heart racing, "bloody hell, Gene, are you trying to send me the same way as _dead vicar number two?"_

"Tonight, Shoebury," Gene began, ignoring his shock, "Beer. Strippers. Drunken antics."

"Yes, I know, I know," Simon's heart raced as he swallowed and tried to cool himself down from Gene's surprise arrival, "don't worry about it. It's all sorted."

"_All_ of it?" Gene raised his eyebrow. Simon nodded sheepishly. "Does this include good mannered females who like to get their mangoes out and wobble them around a bit?"

Simon swallowed.

"Erm," he began then shuddered as Gene's words sank in, "..._Mangoes?!"_

"Listen," Gene's face was suddenly uncomfortably close to Simon, "this is my second to last night of freedom. It is a legal requirement in this country that I have to get pissed out of my incredibly large and wise brain and spent the night with me cheeks squashed between a pair of cracking top-cobblers. Now, I understand what you would rather watch some oiled prat with a cucumber stashed down his slacks poncing around on a podium -"

"You have a very obscure view of ways in which I would choose to spend my free time," Simon cried in horror. The thought of _anyone_ posing on a podium was about as far removed from Simon's interests as darning socks and polishing Gene's car.

"- But this is my bleeding _stag_ night!" Gene barked, "and unless tonight includes a bra flying through the air at a hundred miles an hour and a non-regulation copper's uniform then tomorrow will be one long excursion to the_ filing_ cabinet!"

"Do you only _have_ one threat?" Simon demanded.

"Do you only have one _jumper?"_ Gene countered and Simon's face clouded over.

"Gene. There will be strippers. There will be beer. I will not let you down."

"You had better bloody not," Gene warned him, "because one day many years from now I'll be walking in through the doors of me local and on that day Ray Carling will ask me for details of my dirty, depraved final night of freedom. And on that day I want to tell him things that will send his eyes spinning, not send him scurrying to the bogs in a fit of laughter."

"I _get_ it, Gene, honestly!" Simon threw his hands in the air, "give me a break! Beer and strippers, tonight starting at eight. How's that?"

"I'll judge that at eight," Gene told him before disappearing with a slam of the door.

Simon closed his eyes, leaned back and gave a deep, lengthy groan.

_"Ohhhh Gene,_" he mumbled, "why does it have to be strippers?" he shook his head, imagining himself and Robin with their backs to the show while Gene worked his way through his entire repertoire of euphemisms for breasts. He suspected Gene was saving up the best ones for that night. "Right," he mumbled, hauling the yellow pages from beneath his wobbly desk leg, "you want strippers? You'll _get_ strippers." He'd just planned to wing it but since he didn't like the idea of spending a day becoming more intimately acquainted with certain pieces of office furniture he decided it might be an idea to book somewhere. He flicked through the pages until one caught his eye; a full page ad entitled '_STRIPPERS!'._ "Perfect," he nodded, grabbing his phone. He tapped out the number and waited.

"_Hello, The Steam Room?"_

"Ahhh, hi," Simon began awkwardly, "are you open tonight?" he listened, "At what time?... _what_ time?! Oh... well I wanted to bring a party of about seven or eight to the... you can? _Ohhhh_, that's brilliant. Perfect." he paused, "we're convening at eight, we'll be there at quarter past. That's fantastic! Thank you so much!"

As he put down the receiver and leaned back, closing his eyes, Simon truly rued the day that he accepted the post of best man. If things didn't work out the way he wanted he was most certainly going to feel like the _worst_.

~xXx~

"Shaz?"

Marci's voice was the last thing Shaz had expected to hear. She turned around slowly to see her in the doorway looking unnervingly sick. Her eyes bore dark circles, her skin seemed dull and her eyes glassy.

"What are you doing here?" Shaz tried to keep her voice devoid of emotion but didn't quite succeed.

"Shaz, I'm so _sorry,"_ Marci bit back tears but knew they would fall sooner or later, "sweetheart, I'm _so sorry -"_ she began to step towards her but Shaz folded her arms defensively and her stare warned her away.

"We're _over_, Marci," she said, "Remember?"

Marci swallowed. She wasn't ready to tackle that part yet.

"You didn't tell Jake," she said quietly and watched Shaz look down.

"Not yet, anyway," she whispered.

Marci swallowed again.

"Why didn't you?" she whispered.

Shaz looked her I the eye.

"It's not my place to," she said, her whole demeanour distant and hurt, "you have to do it yourself."

"No, I can't tell him," Marci shook her head tearfully, "not after what he went through yesterday. And I don't _need_ to either because," she sniffed, trying to keep her composure, "because I'm not going to do that again. I've stopped. It was a one-off."

"Marci, you've been acting strange for _weeks!"_

"But it wasn't_ that!"_ Marci urged Shaz to believe her, "I was taking pills... painkillers... for my back, and I started needing more and I was _stupid_, Shaz, I was _really_ stupid," she flinched as she realised her voice was getting a little too loud for the office and tried to cool down. _Deep breaths,_ she told herself. When she felt a little calmer she felt ready to continue. "I-I know what I'm doing," she whispered, "I've got some pills -"

"_More_ drugs?"

_"Shhhhh!" _March hissed urgently, _"No! _Painkillers. I got some painkillers and I'm tapering... to help me off them. For good. I'm stopping it, Shaz," she reached forward and grasped her hand, "for _you_. I'm doing it for you."

Shaz stared at her, tor between wanting to believe her and knowing that it wasn't that easy.

"No," she whispered.

Marci stared back.

"W-what do you mean, _'no'?"_ she whispered.

"It's not that simple, Marci," Shaz whispered, "and no. It's not enough to do it for me," she turned away. "You need to do it for yourself, otherwise there is no point even trying."

"I am, I'm doing it for myself too."

"Then," Shaz said quietly, "you need to prove that. And you need to show me. And of course if you mean it and you fight it and you really want to stop I'm gonna be _here_ for you," she looked Marci in the eye. "but if you're just trying to spin a line then there's no coming back from that."

"I'm telling you the truth," Marci told her, "I promise you, and I'll prove it. I will prove it to you."

Shaz looked away as Marci continued to make promises that she could only pray she would keep. She meant what she said, she would _always_ be there for Marci and would support her however she could but she knew that it wasn't as straightforward as that. She felt as though she didn't even know the woman she loved any more.

The future was a dark and uncertain place for them both.

~xXx~

"Good morning, DCI Stringer."

Kim glanced up, feeling her cheeks redden as Alex arrived in the doorway.

"Ma'am," she tried to straighten herself up and surreptitiously check her breath, "sorry, I was miles away."

Alex smiled.

"Thank you for helping me with my homework," she said, "Gene was impressed."

"Oh, well, _good_," Kim said quickly, "although it would have been easier for me to help you if your favourite was Ginger Spice, you know."

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes.

"_Finally_ something you and Gene have in common," she said.

Kim coughed a little.

"Two things," she mumbled she nodded towards Alex and asked, "how is it? The tattoo?"

"It's _beautiful_," Alex smiled, "Thank you _so_ much, Kim."

"I hope you''re keeping it clean and moisturised."

Alex threw her hands in the air.

"Are you this bossy with _all_ your customers?" she asked.

"Only the ones I don't want turning septic," Kim teased and Alex laughed. She stepped a little further through the doorway and said,

"I presume Robin had been dragged into Gene's stag night tonight?"

Kim rolled her eyes.

"God, yes, poor Rob," she sighed, "The guv keeps going on about beer and strippers. Robin thinks he's going to hell because that's what it looks like from his perspective. He's never really liked beer and he thinks the strippers are part of a ploy to introduce heterosexuality to the male members of the _Fenchurch East rainbow brigade. _He's considering asking Nick Nailer to kidnap him again to get him out of this thing. He was actually _crying_ this morning!" She shook her head as Alex laughed. "I'm actually not joking, ma'am!"

"Oh, poor Robin," Alex sighed, trying not to laugh again.

"He's even making Jake go," Kim continued, "even though he's been told to take it easy and been written off work for a week. Apparently the Guv said he's still got one good arm for shoving fivers down cleavage so he's got no excuse!"

"They're never going to forgive him for this, are they?" Alex asked.

Kim shook her head slowly.

"I don't think so, Ma'am," she said, "Rob's already asked to borrow my piercing equipment to defend himself if necessary."

Alex couldn't resist smiling at the thought.

"Well," she said, "if you're at a loose end you are more than welcome to spend the evening with me and a bottle of red, waiting for Gene to arrive home caked in the blood of whoever annoyed him the most."

Kim tried not to smile too much.

"I just might take you up on that offer," she said.

~xXx~

Alex has to raise an eyebrow in amusement as she watched Gene splashing on aftershave while trying to pretend he was comfortable in the purple shirt.

"Gene," she began as seriously as she could, "I don't like to be the one to point this out, but," she managed to turn a giggle into a cough, "that is not your usual attire."

"It is my last night of freedom and I am going to go down in a blaze of glory," Gene told her.

"Well actually, _tomorrow_ is your last night of freedom," Alex pointed out.

"A minor detail," Gene mumbled as he plucked out a nostril hair.

"And for another thing," she continued, "there is quite a leap between '_purple shirt'_ and _'blaze of glory'."_

"You leave my chosen attire alone and I won't make you revise _Why Geri Halliwell Is A Better Spice Girl Than That Posh One_, an advanced level course," Gene told her. He slung his tie around his neck and fastened it, aware that Alex was still looking somewhat amused. "Anyway Bols, you won't be seeing this shirt again after tonight."

"Oh really?" Alex raised an eyebrow, "and why is that?"

"Because when I get back oozing testosterone from every pore you'll be ripping it off me with yer teeth, there'll be nothing left!" Gene was sightly disturbed that Alex laughed at that suggestion. "Just you wait, future Missus Hunt, seven hours from now this shirt will be in shreds on this floor."

"Seven hours?" Alex asked incredulously, "you think this stag do is going to last that long."

"If Shoebury wants to stay alive long enough to give his speech on saturday it had better do," Gene told Alex. He turned around, surreptitiously slipped a hand around her backside and gave her a squeeze. "Just you wait. Me. You. Manstink. Ripped shirt. Seven hours from now."

"Well who am I to refuse an offer like that?" Alex really wasn't sure that the stag night was going to be all that Gene dreamed of but she certainly thought the last part of the equation was worth waiting for. She left him with an unexpectedly lingering kiss before she pushed him towards the door. "Now go. Have fun. Enjoy your last night of freedom."

Gene coughed slightly, seeing the perks of staying at home instead,

"Perhaps my last night of freedom is best spent in captivity," he mumbled, eyes fixed on Alex's cleavage.

"After the hell you've put Simon through today you'd better not back out now," Alex told him, "get moving, Guv. Me and my shirt-ripping skills will be awaiting when you return."

Gene found himself pushed towards the door and firmly ejected from the bedroom. He hadn't thought this thing through properly if he was honest. He hadn't expected to be abandoning cleavage of epic proportions, for one thing. Still, at least it would be there upon his return. It was time for his stag night and it was his duty to indulge in one final night of debauched depravity.

As he finally set off on his big night out his anticipation started to grow. He couldn't wait for the night ahead.

~xXx~

"Shoebury."

"Don't say it. _Please_ don't say it."

"Say what?"

"Anything involving me joining the dole queue, getting a filing cabinet in the back or having large, unpleasant objects inserted up my backside."

"Give me one... just _one_, Shoebury, one... good reason why I shouldn't subject you to all three?"

With a hiss of steam, the man in the bright pink shirt and silver tie swept the large contraption over the display wall.

"_With this one you get the extra large capacity for maximum wall coverage!"_ he boasted as Gene turned to Simon.

"_Three_ things I asked for. Three little things." He counted them off on his fingers. "Beer. Strippers. Drunken antics." He leaned threateningly close to Simon, half choking him with his pungent aftershave. "...'_Don't worry about it, Gene, I've got it sorted, Gene...'"_ Gene's impression of Simon was startlingly lifelike.

"I _did_ sort it!" Simon protested as a long strip of wallpaper glided to the floor, assisted by an extra-large scraper.

"_Then where are my bloody strippers?"_

"_They're right here!_

_"Wallpaper_ strippers, Shoebury!" Gene barked, "they're ruddy DIY devices for people who are too bloody lazy to put in a bit of elbow grease!"

"I'm _sorry!"_ Simon cried, "It was a mistake, an honest mistake!"

"Even for _you_, Shoe-boy," Gene barked and Simon cringed at the name, "this is a pretty bloody big mistake!"

"It had a full page ad in the yellow pages!" Simon protested, "it just said _strippers! _It was called the bloody _Steam_ Room! What would _you_ have thought?"

"Well I'd have thought the flock wallpaper in the background and the happy chirpy cartoon chappy stripping it away was a giveaway for a _start!"_ Gene barked.

"So dudes," the over-enthusiastic salesman leapt in front of them, practically giving a show of jazz-hands, "...and dudettes," he pointed his jazz hands in Robin's direction whose mouth fell open, "which of our steamy, gleamy appliances are you gonna go for? Hmm? Hmm?" he winked at Robin. "I can get you a group discount," he offered.

Robin gulped.

"How about getting us to the nearest exit?" he pleaded as a jet of steam headed in his direction.

Gene turned to Simon, hands on hips, legs astride. The look he gave almost struck Simon dead on the spot. He turned to the salesman, stared at the wallpaper stripper in his hands and then looked back at Simon.

"Tell me," he began, "how far _exactly _does the steam reach?"

"It's a very powerful machine," the salesman told him, "you'd usually use it against the wall but the steam can spray for a good meter or so at least."

"_Really?"_ Gene grabbed the contraction and began to get a feel for the handle, then he turned to Simon. "Open wide, Shoebury," he scowled, "I'm going to shove this so far down yer scrawny neck I'll be able to steam clean yer _underpants!"_


	14. Chapter 13: Coats, Cases & Casualty

**Chapter 13**

"So how long did you have to wait with Simon in A and E?" Kim asked as she and Robin lay side by sides in bed the following morning, staring at the ceiling.

"About seven hours," Robin explained with a yawn, "it would have been shorter but," he shrugged, "we were stuck in the queue behind a boy with a saucepan stuck on his head and, you know... it took them a while to loosen it."

"Poor Simon," Kim sighed, shaking her head.

"Poor Simon nothing," Robin groaned, "I had a wallpaper stripper salesman in a fluorescent pink shirt and silver tie calling me Dudette and giving me his number," he frowned, "written in steam, on the window."

"OK, poor Gene then," Kim said with a sigh.

"All he wanted was beer and strippers," Robin shook his head.

"Did he at least get the beer?" Kim asked.

"Well, no," Robin told her, "he didn't fancy it. You know, after they'd," he flinched, _"extracted it." _

Kim swallowed hard.

"Thanks for that, like I wasn't already feeling off-colour this morning."

Robin glanced at her, noticing that she seemed paler than usual and had been a little quiet as well.

"You OK?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Kim said quietly, "I just don't feel well."

Robin reached to feel her forehead, although Kim gave her best attempt at flapping him away.

"Are you alright for work?" he asked her.

"Oh, yeah, don't be silly, I'm fine," Kim dismissed her previous grumble, "it's the bloody Surrey commute, I think. Done it twice this week. I don't want it to become a habit."

"Getting any further with that case?" Robin asked and Kim shook her head.

"It's impossible," she groaned, then her face clouded further, "speaking of which," she looked at Robin a little sadly, "we're out of time. For our special wedding present."

Robin closed his eyes and nodded slowly.

"I know," he whispered.

"Maybe we bit off more than we could chew," Kim sighed despondently.

"We just wanted to do something special," Robin reminded her, reaching out to hold her hand, "we tried our best."

Kim glanced at him.

"Is it really too late?" she wondered, "one last try tonight?"

Robin closed his eyes. He gave a long sigh and a shrug. They'd gone through every option they could think of to no avail and still couldn't find a solution. But he didn't like to admit defeat. He had grown almost as stubborn as Kim. Opening his eyes, he nodded.

"One last try," he agreed.

~xXx~

Alex opened the door of her office, peered down the corridor, pulled her coat tightly around her and made a speedy exit. Her red heels clip-clopped along as she walked briskly to CID and paced through the office.

"Aren't you a bit hot in that, Ma'am?" Bammo asked.

"Hot?" Alex repeated, a sly smile on her face, "_hopefully_."

She reached the door of Gene's office and opened it, stepping inside quickly. Gene opened his mouth to greet her but found himself silenced in confusion as she pulled down the blind, followed by all of the others around the windows.

"Blimey," Gene frowned, "if I'd know we were in for a blackout I'd have bought candles."

Alex turned to him and for the first time he saw her heavily made-up face and exaggerated hairstyle.

"How's Simon?" she asked, "is he able to sit down yet?"

"_Apparently_," Gene mumbled, "but I'm a bit more interested in the fact that you look like yer dressed for a rendition of Singing in the Rain."

Alex bit her lip and pulled together her courage. This was somewhat audacious even considering some of the stunts they'd pulled in the past. This was on par with the Easter bunny costume and she'd never lived that one down.

"I felt sorry for you," she told him, "all you wanted were beer and strippers." she reached into one of the pockets in her large coat and pulled out a can of lager. "Well, here's one part."

"Not the most important one," Gene grumbled, taking the can.

"I suspected as much," Alex told him, pulling her coat belt out of the buckle, "just as well I covered both then, isn't it?"

Gene could do nothing but stare, mouth gaping, as she stood before him, legs apart, and slipped the coat from her shoulders. It slid to the floor to reveal a rather familiar dress, one that he hadn't seen since the day a curly-haired DI arrived and turned his world upside down.

"Bloody hell, you weren't wearing _that_ over breakfast," he commented, barely able to keep his tongue under control for long enough to speak.

Alex's foot silenced him again as it came crashing onto his desk. She tossed her shoe to one side before slowly, seductively sliding down her stocking right before his eyes. As it finally slid from the tips of her toes she threw it over her shoulder where it fluttered gracefully to the ground.

"I always knew this dress would come in handy one day," Alex smiled a little as she lowered her leg, turned on the spot and slid behind the desk where she raised her other leg into Gene's lap.

"Be careful with the heel on that!" he panicked, "there'll be no fun on the honeymoon if that goes in the wrong place!" but luckily for Gene the shoe remained in a threatening location for but a moment before she kicked it off to one side and began to push her stocking down, inch by inch.

"Why wait until the honeymoon for fun?" Alex asked, one eyebrow rising.

"That is a good policy, I'll sign it and implement it immediately," Gene mumbled as she removed her stocking and slipped it around his shoulders, rubbing it slowly` against the back of his head. She returned her foot to the floor once again and unfastened the zip of her dress smoothly, dropping one shoulder first, and then the other. Taking one last deep breath she slipped her arms from the sleeves and let the dress slip down a little, helped by her fingers to fall to the ground.

Gene almost choked at the vision in red lingerie Alex had become.

"_Flaming hell,"_ he mumbled, scrambling to his feet, "there's no way you can wear white tomorrow, not after this.

"Shut up and kiss me, Gene Hunt," Alex demanded, sliding her fingers through his hair and pulling his face towards her until, moments later, there was more lipstick across Gene's face than remained on Alex's lips and the desk was creaking like crazy.

Alex was right. Why wait for the honeymoon? _Wedding's Eve_ was a tradition that needed to be born.

~x~

"_Stringer."_

Kim glanced up in surprise at the sound of Gene's voice.

"Yes Gu-_Guv?!"_ she spluttered at the sight of him. There were red smears across his face, his hair resembled a rather messy bird's nest and his tie was half-undone and slung over one shoulder. She wondered for a moment if he was about to report a mugging. "Is... is everything alright?"

It took Gene a few moments to gather his breath.

"Whatever it is that you've been doing to my missus," he began and Kim feared a filing cabinet attack.

"Yes?" she asked warily.

Gene closed his eyes, exhausted.

"Keep bloody doing it," he demanded, then closed the door to head off for a long lie down.

~xXx~

Robin carefully sat his lunch down at the table and looked at Simon in surprise.

"_Oh!"_ he said, "you're sitting again!" and Simon's face turned red while his eyes darkened.

"Yes, no thanks to you," he scowled.

_"Me?!" _cried Robin, "what am I supposed to have done?"

"You could have defended me from Gene, you know!" Simon cried.

"I was busy trying to fend off a bloody wallpaper stripper salesman with a shirt the colour if -" he hesitated, "your _face!"_

"My need was greater than yours!" Simon cried.

"You didn't hear what he made the steam cleaner thingy hiss in to my ear!" Robin protested.

"_You're_ the one with the muscles, I needed you to defend me and you didn't!" cried Simon.

Robin's lip wavered.

"Why are you being so _horrible_ to me?" he demanded.

"I'm _not!"_ cried Simon, "_horrible_ is a seven hour wait in casualty watching a team of medical professionals attempt to yank a saucepan off a boy's head!" he hesitated as he saw the state of Robin's lunch. "Oh what, not _beans_ again!"

"It was that or sprouts," Robin frowned, "do you want me to sit here wafting forkfuls of green mush under your nose?"

"Now who's being horrible?" cried Simon as a speedy Kim slid into the seat beside him.

"Sorry, sorry," she said quickly, "I'm late again, I'm sorry." she looked at Simon in surprise. _"Oh! _You're _sitting!"_ and Simon shot a dirty look in Kim's direction.

"I did not know my plight was common knowledge," he folded his arms indignantly.

"Oh come on, Si, it's just Kim!" Robin protested, "I _had_ to tell her! She was _worried_ about you!"

"Yes, I _was_ actually," Kim told him, "I spent the whole night panicking about what state Gene was going to leave you in." she paused as Robin began to shovel little orange spherical objects into his mouth. "Ohh, not the _beans_ again!"

"What is wrong with beans?" Robin protested but found an angry Kim finger wagging under his nose.

"I found that giant bean tin, you know," she warned, "if there's a second one joining it along with a two-tin rendition of _We Are The Champions_ played with pencils then _you'll_ be the one with a saucepan on your head and _I'll_ be the one to put it there. Is that clear?"

Robin gulped.

"Perfectly."

"_Good_," Kim folded her arms and leaned back. "Anyway, I suppose it's obvious that this is the final meeting -" she hesitated, "Hang on -" with a thump of her fist to bring the meeting to order Simon jumped a mile and Robin swept up his plate of beans as though to protect them. "the final meeting before Alex and the Guv get married tomorrow." Her tone became darker as she admitted, "and so far we've failed, We've found no way to bring the Railway Arms to London and let them spend the night with all their friends."

"It's not for want of trying," Robin said sadly.

"t was just too much to do," Simon said with a sigh, "The Railways Arms is Gene's domain. Unless we consulted him and asked him to bring the pub down then..."

"I doubt that would have even worked," said Robin, "I think he needs to be bringing someone to the pub for it to appear."

Simon nodded. That was true.

"And even then, Gene drops them off and leaves," he sighed.

"We've got one more night," Kim urged them, "we need to at least _try_."

"What are you suggesting we do?" Simon asked, "drive to Manchester?"

"No," Kim sighed, "I'm suggesting we just do our best where we are. _Here_," she paused. "let's go to some places we know the pub has appeared. See if it's there. Maybe you can go to that place... the one where you used to hear Sam Tyler's voice outside the leather shop."

Simon felt his face heat up with fury.

"I am going _nowhere_ near the disembodied voice of Sam bloody Tyler," he scowled.

"Come on, Si," Robin urged, "one last night. One last chance. It'll make up for the whole _wallpaper_ thing if we pull this off."

"And if not it'll be my _limbs_ that Gene'll pull off, one by one," Simon scowled.

"One last try," Kim urged

Simon closed his eyes and let out a long, deep groan. It wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend a night and he had more or less given up hope but he didn't want to let any of them down, not Robin and Kim, nor Alex and Gene. Finally he sighed and relented.

"Fine," he said, "we'll reconvene after work. One last try."

"Brilliant," Kim thumped her fist on the table extracting a scream from Robin.

"You're getting _far_ too much enjoyment from doing that!" he accused as Kim got to her feet.

"Right," she began, "meeting adjourned! Time to get some lunch, before I eat Simon."

"Hey," Robin frowned, "why would you eat him before me?"

Kim patted Robin's head.

"Because you come with a side of beans," she said simply and scooted away to the counter.


	15. 14 Food, Fine Wine and Fond Memories

**Chapter 14**

"The last supper," Gene commented as he reached across the table and poured a little more wine into Alex's glass.

She smiled at him over the candle-lit table which was playing host to their best glasses, good china and fine food. It might have seemed strange or trite to spend their final evening as an unmarried couple in such a way but it seemed perfect to both of them. They had been through so much to get to that point; the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations of life in a strange world, the obstacles in the way of their relationship and the strength of their bond that overcame all of the above.

Alex cut into a potato and held it an inch from her lips on the end of her fork.

"You make it sound so dramatic, Gene," she told him, the candlelight flickering in the refection in her eye.

"It bloody is and all," Gene told her, stabbing a carrot, "I'm a condemned man, Lady B. This time tomorrow there will be a ball and chain on me leg for life."

"_Gene_," Alex sighed patiently, "you've been stuck with that ball and chain for the last seventeen years and you had plenty of chance to get rid of me. It's too late to back out now."

"Don't know what I did to deserve a life sentence," Gene rubbed it in,"what was my crime, Officer?"

"Wafting your manstink in my direction," Alex said cheekily through a ruby red smile that Gene suspected would soon be smeared across his face and collar. He found himself staring at Alex as she ate. It felt like an echo of days gone by, sharing a meal across the table at Luigi's, night after night spent with one another. They'd come so far since then and yet it was till moments like this one that he'd remember all his life.

"And they said we'd never make it," he sighed, reaching for his wine.

"Who did?" Alex asked and Gene hesitated.

"Actually no one," he admitted, "except the little voices in the back of me head. The ones telling me you were too good for me," he gulped half of his glass of wine down in one go, "and I was too manly and macho for the likes of you."

"We're back to your manstink again," Alex smiled.

"Worked, didn't it?" Gene spread his hands.

"Must have done," Alex had a little smirk on her face as she turned her attention back to her meal, chasing up a little of the sauce with her remaining vegetables. Alex had to admit that she didn't cook almost as often as she should do. She actually enjoyed it but the pressures of work usually left them with little time or energy to _'do a Robin'_ in the kitchen. But that night had been an exception. Classy food, fine wine and the most expensive crockery they owned. Just the two of them. _Perfect_.

Don't think my cardiac activity has returned to normal yet," Gene said, quite out of the blue.

"pardon?" Alex looked at him curiously.

"Gave me a heart attack, coming into my office dressed in yer classy hooker gear," Gene found himself adjusting his napkin in his lap to cover up his reaction to he memory. This wasn't the time for that. "Not only did you give me the horn in record time but you gave me one of those poncey _flashbacks_ you're always talking about." He closed his eyes, savouring the memory, "I remember when I first laid eyes on you. Legs up to thes heavens, dress that wouldn't cover the modesty of a gnat. Giving Markham a bit of lip. _Fatality outcome,_ those were yer words.

"I was trying to save my life, _officer_," Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Think you bloody ended up saving mine," Gene mumbled. He didn't want to say it out loud but Alex had made an incredible difference to his life. In fact, she'd _given_ him a life. Prior to her arrival he was existing, not living. There was a big difference.

"We had our ups and downs, didn't we?" Alex said with a distant smile and Gene almost choked on a potato.

"_Had_?" he repeated, "bring that into the present tense, Bollyknickers!"

"Oh _shush, y_ou," Alex slapped his hand with her napkin from across the table.

Gene returned to shovelling food into his mouth for a bit, his eyes flickering back to Alex every few moments, recalling the extreme chain of events that led to that very moment. He almost laughed as he recalled,

"You turn up as the poshest prozzie this side of the river Thames and the whole of the Met thinks their luck's in. Then you pull out a bloody warrant and having a DI with a rack from heaven suddenly looks like a mixed blessing," he watched her looking at him suspiciously, waiting for a barrage of insults. "easy on the eyes but not on the ears." he didn't disappoint her, "My _god_, Bols, you could waffle for England."

"Still can," Alex raised her eyebrow again, eating a forkful of veg.

"Turned me team upside down," Gene told her, "turned me _life_ upside down."

Alex's smile was wobbly, threatened by tears of nostalgia.

"Did you ever think we would get to this day, Gene?" She asked quietly, "on the verge of marriage?"

"Bloody knew we would, it's me flipping punishment, isn't it?" Gene grumbled, slurping his wine, "I've been a bad boy and now I've got a life sentence." He nodded at Alex, "and as for you -"

"What's my crime?" Alex asked curiously, smiling through a sip of wine.

Gene considered for a moment.

"Packing a cracking arse without a licence," he told her.

Alex considered for a moment.

"Could have been worse," she considered.

They returned to their food their plates which were clearing by the moment, until Gene finally spoke again. He wolfed down his last potato, laid down his cutlery, leaned back and eyed Alex.

"I've always admitted I'm a man who's made mistakes," he told her and Alex laid down her fork.

"Oh dear, this could take a while," she teased but Gene shook his head.

"Hear me out, Lady B," he told her, "it's not going to turn into cure for insomnia," he sighed, "of all the mistakes I've made I only regret three things. Mistakes make a man, Bolly."

"Just as well in your case," Alex teased.

"They show you've lived."

Alex nodded. She could see where he as coming from.

"That's true," she told him.

"Three things I'd have done differently," he told her, "number one, I'd have thought twice about jumping in bed with Mrs Shoebury if I'd know I had some recessive nerd gene I was going to pass onto the fruit of my loins."

"I bet Simon loves hearing you refer to him that way," Alex commented.

"Number two, if I'd know about the sprout content I'd never have eaten those bloody pasties in the canteen last week," he gave an awkward burp at the memory, "and number three," he sighed and looked at Alex seriously, "biggest mistake I ever made." he sighed, "sending someone down the pub too soon."

Alex stared at Gene for a very long time. Her expression flickered between sadness, contemplation and sympathy before she finally spoke.

"Guv," she said quietly, still thinking of Gene in those terms often, "that wasn't a mistake. It was a catalyst."

"Isn't that someone who wears a pair of pointy ears and a tail in the bedroom?" Gene asked.

"No, you might be thinking of a furry," Alex told him, "and anyway, that's beside the point," she sighed as she stared at her glass, swilling the last sip of wine around within it, "it was the catalyst, Gene, for both of us," she looked him in the eye, "to work out how we really felt about one another."

"I don't feel things, I'm hard as a ruddy rock," Gene told her, trying to drink some wine and realising too late his glass was already empty. _Bugger_, now he felt like a prat.

"It wasn't until you sent me away," Alex told him, her voice wavering again, "that I knew I didn't want to go," she fingered her glass lightly as a distraction, "and I think," she continued, "that it might be the same for you."

Gene looked down, crumpling up his napkin. Alex was right, she really was. Not that he was going to admit it.

"You weeds from the twenty first century are too fond of yer _everything-happens-for-a-reason_ bollocks," he told her.

"Oh really?" Alex challenged, "so, if you hadn't sent me away maybe you wouldn't have been sent Simon? And then you'd never have met your son."

"Now I'm _really_ regretting sending you away," Gene mumbled but Alex smirked as she saw through him.

"Never made a friend," she raised her eyebrow, "never opened the way for Simon to return. To bring Robin with him. Never given me a friend when I woke up. And without Robin I would never have found Kim. Each of them sent me back one time, Gene. I could have been stuck out there, without you, for the rest of my days." She lifted her glass, "all because you sent me to the pub too soon."

"So what you're saying," Gene began slowly, "is that if I hadn't sent you to the pub I'd never have seen Shoebury's jumper, been scared shitless by Batman's life-sized Red Dwarf poster collection or lost my bloody car to Stringer?" he pouted, "you're not selling me this _everything happens for a reason_ bollocks very well, you know that, Drake?"

Alex smiled distantly.

"I don't think you mean that," she said softly and Gene nodded slowly.

"No, you're right, I don't," he mumbled begrudgingly, "I'd miss every last one of those arseholes."

"Knew it," Alex smirked. She finished the final sip of wine and lifted up the bottle to top up their glasses.

"We drinking to something?" Gene asked her.

"Lots of somethings."

"Such as what?"

Alex set down the bottle and held out her glass.

"To mistakes, arseholes," she began with a smile and a sigh, "and the day I thought would never come." she looked him in the eye. "I love you, Gene Hunt."

Gene grunted a little and pretended he hadn't heard. Seventeen years with Alex had changed him a lot, but underneath it all he was still Gene Hunt. Finally he clinked his glass against hers.

"Yeah," he said, a little smirk playing on his lips, "Me an' all."

Tomorrow Alex was going to become his wife.

If what's what came of mistakes, then he was really bloody glad he'd made them.


	16. Chapter 15: Tyler, Toilets and Talking

_**A/N: Apologies, I've got flu and not up to very much at the moment so I've been unable to update for a few days, and also I have probably done a crap job of editing! Also, this chapter references a couple of events from my DW crossover, just in case you're confused. Onwards...**_

**~xXx~**

**Chapter 15**

Simon limped along pitifully and took a seat on the wall beside Kim.

"That looks nasty," Kim said worriedly.

Simon reached down and rubbed his painful shin.

"Yeah, it's not great," he said awkwardly, "a word to the wise: if you're ever trying to break time don't jump out at an old woman yelling '_this isn't the real world and all the coppers are dead!_'." he flinched, "you'll end up unable to walk and extracting boiled sweets from your eardrums for fifteen minutes."

"I'm sorry, Simon," Kim sighed, patting his arm, "at least you tried."

Simon nodded slowly, then glanced around.

"Where's Robin?" he asked and Kim rolled her eyes.

"Bog," she said, pointing to the public toilet behind them.

"Again?" frowned Simon.

Kim shrugged.

"Maybe Gene got him into extra large lattes," she said with a sigh.

Simon swung his feet back and forth against the wall, occasionally letting out a pained cry when his painful shin struck the bricks. He stared into the evening dusk, watching people wandering past on their way to whatever passed for a friday night in their lives.

"Ridiculous, isn't it?" he sighed, "if you actually _want_ to break time you can't do it. But yet in the past it's happened and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it."

Kim nodded.

"The first time... when everyone left the pub after Alex saved Shaz... I thought the Guv was going to blow a gasket."

"That wasn't exactly my favourite day," Simon mumbled.

"it wasn't exactly mine either," Kim reminded him, "I thought I'd lost Shaz!"

"At least you weren't called a _prat_ by some idiot in a leather jacket," Simon folded his arms and Kim turned to him in amusement.

"You really don't like him, do you?" she said.

"Who?"

"Sam Tyler," sighed Kim, "or Sam _Bloody_ Tyler, to give him his apparent full title."

"Well what right did he have to come in, insulting me?" Simon cried.

"I think you're taking it all a bit too personally," Kim tried to tell him, "and besides, he wasn't the _only_ idiot in a leather jacket, was he?"

Simon frowned, trying hard to forget his Sam Tyler phase.

"It wasn't just that," he told her, "back when Alex woke up Gene went through a really rough time. He tried to go to the pub and I chased him all the way up to Manchester to stop him." He sighed, "and what did Sam Bloody Tyler say?" he threw his hands in the air, "told me I was cutting it fine!"

"I think he's just winding you up," Kim told him.

"_Exactly!"_

Kim smiled. It was strange how much she'd missed Simon's random tirades in the interim years.

"Simon," she began with a sigh, "Sam's a wind-up merchant. Why do you think he got on so well with Gene? Truth be told, you're probably a bit too similar. That's probably why you clash."

"There are _no_ similarities between me and that..." Simon scowled, "_pavement pizza_." he suddenly realised Kim wasn't the best person to use that term in front of. "No offence," he cringed.

"You weren't saying that when you took his photo to the hairdresser's and asked for a Sam Tyler cut," Kim pointed out.

"That's before I met the prat," Simon scowled.

"You_ see?_" Kim cried, "too bloody similar!" she glanced around as the door of the toilet opened and Robin emerged "oh _finally_! I thought you were in there for the duration!"

"Sorry, I didn't want to leave," he told her, "they were playing funky music."

"They were what?" Kim frowned.

Robin jammed his thumb in the direction of the toilet.

"Posh lav, that one," he told her.

"Music?" she repeated as he nodded, _"really?"_

"Go in yourself if you don't believe me," Robin told her.

Kim bit her lip.

"Actually, I could do with a piss," she commented, hopping up and scooting towards the toilet as Robin took her place on the wall beside Simon, then gave a deep sigh and rubbed his leg.

"What's wrong with you?" Simon asked, "did you get kicked in the shin as well?"

"No," Robin sighed, "my ankles are swollen."

"Ankles don't _swell_," frowned Simon.

"Yes they do."

"They _don't!"_

"_Mine_ do!"

Simon sighed, shaking his head.

"Look, I'm not going to argue about ankles," he said, "if yours are swollen then I'm sorry,"

"You're in a great mood," Robin frowned.

Simon groaned.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "it's all this talk about Sam bloody Tyler."

"The one in the leather jacket?"

"Yes, _that_ one."

Robin closed his eyes and rocked back and forth on the wall, listening to the chatter around them.

"Kim said _you_ once had a leath-"

"Yeah, bit of a sore point, actually," Simon interrupted, less than pleased with the amount of conversation in that topic."

"Sorry," Robin pulled a face. He fell silent again for a few moments before he said quietly, "When the pub broke before... and everyone appeared at the station?"

Simon turned to him.

"Hmm?"

Robin looked down and swallowed awkwardly.

"I don't think it hit me until then how many of them there were," he saw Simon look confused, "the people they help," he bit his lip. "_You've_ helped." Simon seemed sad and Robin could understand why. "Si?" he began nervously, "how many of them go through the door?" he swallowed, "and how many by... by..." he trailed away, looking down. He didn't want to say 'by dying' but Simon understood anyway.

"It's not easy to say," Simon's voice sounded croaky, as though the words didn't really want to come, "I don't know about all the people who entered the pub before I arrived." he looked down at his hands. "But I..." he flinched as painful memories returned to him, "In _my_ experience... the people _I've_ – helped." he shook his head, "none of them have been through the front door."

"They all died?" Robin whispered and Simon nodded slowly, his eyes closed. How many have there been, Si?" Robin whispered, unsure whether he was even ready to know.

"Susannah was the first," Simon whispered. He felt nauseous as he thought about the first time, "I had no idea what was happening. I'd only found out earlier that day that I was dead. Keats had Susannah. Malcolm tried to shoot him and Keats used her as a human shield.

"Shit," Robin breathed.

"I didn't know what was happening, Rob," Simon whispered, "Keats... he was going to take her. Gene just kept yelling at me on the phone – '_get to her, get to her, Simon,'_ he said." he shook his head, "He _knew_. And I did what he told me. I got to her, and I held her. And then it started. That feeling the heat, in your heart." He swallowed, "and in your arms," he hung his head and flinched. He didn't like thinking about that. "Then the next time was different I suppose... it was Alex. I thought I'd killed her, taken her life away... when she was split in two... but I had to help that part of her leave so that her soul could join together again.." he picked at his trousers. "On the road, chasing Keats... he swerved and we crashed." he glanced at Robin. "But you know about that."

Robin nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I do," he said quietly.

Simon ran a hand through his hair.

"Then there was Lindsay," he whispered.

"Lindsay?"

"you never met her," Simon said sadly, "but she was..." he tried to find the right words. "Oh, she was the life and soul of the party, Rob. She was bright, and sparky and happy – everyone loved her." his face grew dark. "And then one day a crazy man with a gun came into the car park. Alex was talking him down but then Keats started yelling things to scare the man and he opened fire."

Robin could see from Simon's expression that Lindsay had been a good friend and someone he still grieved for.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Simon exhaled loudly.

"And then," he whispered, "there was Eddie." He gave a sad, fond smile. "Poor Eddie."

That was a night that Robin recalled with horrific clarity but he hadn't been around Eddie when he died.

"The bombs," he whispered.

Simon nodded, his stomach turning at the memory of Eddie's burnt body as he drew his final breath.

"Died a hero," Simon whispered, "saving Marci's life."

Robin bit his lip again. A thought troubled him.

"They were all caused by Keats," he whispered.

"What?"

"All of the people you've helped," Robin began softly, "they were all... directly or indirectly... caused by Keats," he swallowed, "weren't they?"

Simon looked down. He'd never even made that connection before.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

Silence fell between them as Simon thought sadly about the faces he missed while another thought weighed heavily on Robin's mind. He played with his finger nails for a moment before he glanced up at Simon again and said,

"That's going to be me next, isn't it? I mean, sooner or later, I'm going to have to," he flinched, "do... what it is that _you_ do." he looked at the ground, "I mean, I've been here a while. Its probably not going to be long before it happens. Someone will be dying and I'll..." he choked on his words, myriad thoughts scrambling around inside his head, "you see, it's not like it'll be the first time... I did it before... but that was different.. helping Alex home... I had to, I had to send her..." he looked at Simon, and Simon was shocked to see him looking tearful, "and I _felt_ it, Si. All the things that you feel. The heat and the tingling. It happened to me too, and I didn't know what it was..." he shook his head, "but one day," he whispered, "it'll be me. _Here,_" he looked lost, "won't it?"

Simon stared at him and the tower of strength that Robin had become seemed to crumble before him. He could understand that. Who had it hardest, he wondered? Himself when taking Susannah's soul had been a complete shock, or Robin who knew it would happen, and could only sit and wait.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "one day it will happen. It'll be you. You'll be the one they fall in front of. You'll be the one who'll be drawn to them and you'll pull their head into your lap and hold their hand," his voice grew gentle, "You'll be the one to hold them and take away their pain. You'll whisper to them with the right words to give them peace and comfort and you'll help them to pass with love and warmth." He reached out and squeezed Robin's hand which took him by surprise, "because you are a natural, Rob."

Robin looked at him in confusion.

"But I haven't -"

"Yes you have," Simon told him, "remember? You just told me." he swallowed, "_Alex_. Back in the real world." Robin looked distant. "I watched your tape once, Rob. I saw you holding her. I saw you doing everything right. You sent her home so she could be happy," he looked Robin in the eye, "and when that time comes and you need to do it for real," his grasp on Robin's hand tightened a little, "you will be_ fine."_

Robin gave Simon a wobbly smile, those words of encouragement meaning more than he could say. If he was honest the fear of the first time was weighing on his mind, always there like a countdown that he never knew the ending to. He wanted to thank Simon for what he'd said, and for understanding, and for just listening and being there but there didn't seem to be words to express what he was trying to say so instead he wrapped his arms around Simon's neck and hugged him tightly, hoping that Simon understood. As Robin felt Simon squeeze him back, he suspected Simon probably did.

The moment of warm reassurance was marred slightly by the flushing of the toilet and Kim's enthusiastic return from within.

"_It's true! It's true!_" she declared, standing proudly as though she had just reinvented the wheel, "it really does play music!"

"No," Simon said doubtfully, abandoning his comforting hug to scramble to his feet.

"Seriously," Kim nodded, still bopping along to the beat that played on inside her head.

"It's true, Si," Robin told him.

"Bollocks if I'm going to be the only one who's not heard it," Simon told them and pushed past Kim into the toilet. Kim took a few moments to regain her balance and joined Robin on the wall.

"They should release that at Christmas," she said, "it'll be number one." She noticed that Robin's smile was a little strained and she worried about him a little. Leaning softly against him she began; "that all seemed very serious."

"What did?" Robin asked.

"Whatever you and Simon had been talking about," she told him and Robin sighed sadly.

"I was thinking about this place," he said quietly, "the things we do," he closed his eyes, "things _I'm_ going to have to do. Helping people move on."

Kim nodded slowly. It was something that had played on her own mind too.

"Ahh," she said quietly. She understood now why he was looking so grim. "You haven't done it yet," she paused, "you're a Railway Arms virgin?"

"Apart from Alex," he said quietly, "and that wasn't the same."

Kim nodded, staring at her hands. She'd been there too, except her release of Alex's soul was a little more physical. She still felt sick every time she thought about that terrible day. She stared into the dusky evening and silence fell for a while before she finally spoke again.

"Rob?"

"Hmm?"

"How does it work?" she asked, her voice strangely quiet, "I mean, where you send them?"

"What do you mean?" Robin asked.

Kim took a deep breath.

"The Guv sends them to the pub," she said, "Alex has got some restaurant, and Simon's got _Bask_," she shrugged a little, "how do you 'get' a place? How do you know where they're going to go?"

"I don't know really," Robin said quietly, "I suppose it's a case of wherever you feel at home."

"Like the Cheers theme tune?" Kim asked, "_somewhere everybody knows your name."_

Robin nodded.

"That's right."

Kim stared into the crowds on the street again, silently, wrapped up in her thoughts. She felt a strange sadness deep inside of her.

"What if you never find that place?" she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

Kim turned to Robin, her expression distant.

I don't feel that connection with anywhere, Rob," she said quietly, "There was a time _Bask_ might have been mine... but I moved on, long before I went home. And since I've been back," she shook her head, "we don;t go out that much. When we do there's no one place..." she sighed deeply, "what if I never have a place? Where would I send them?"

"I don't have a place either," Robin reminded her but Kim felt a strange sense of knowing.

"I think you will," she said quietly.

"You do?" Robin looked at her curiously, "where?"

Kim gave a little shrug.

"I'm probably wrong," she told him. She felt silly for even mentioning it and shook her head, "I won't even say it because I'll only feel stupid when I'm wrong." She sighed, "that, or I'm right and then we'll find out and I'll cry_ 'I thought so!' _and wish I'd told you after all." she sighed and leaned against Robin's shoulder. "It's funny... but the place that I'm imagining... _that_ could have been mine once upon a time too."

"Is there anywhere you're not claiming?" Robin teased.

"I must be fickle," Kim said with a distant smile, but it faded fast as she could herself worrying again. "I'm serious though, Rob. What if I never find anywhere? What if I never find a place I feel at home?"

Robin rubbed her back gently as he thought about her words.

"Kim," he said softly, "I don't know what's going to happen or whether you'll ever feel at home in a place the way that Gene or Alex or Simon have. But sooner or later there will be somewhere for you to call on when people need it." He looked at her, "when people need _you."_

She gave him a grateful smile but in the back of her mind she couldn't help worrying about the possibility of never having a local. That thought weighed down her heart. Before she could dwell on it, the door of the toilet opened and Simon came strutting out.

"Oh my god!" he cried, "you were right!"

Kim and Robin exchanged a glance with a little smile, deciding to put their conversation behind them for the night and Kim sprang to her feet.

"Wasn't it awesome though?" she cried.

"I know!" cried Simon, "that is the best toilet ever!"

"We told you so," Robin stood up.

"I'm going to drink a bunch of giant lattes so I'll have to go again," Kim volunteered.

"Did I need to know that?" frowned Simon.

The three of them jumped down from the raised wall and reluctantly abandoned the musical toilet, their spirits falling fast as the true purpose of their meeting came back to them. The evening was drawing on, dusk turning to dark and their time running out. Finally Robin was the first to speak up.

"Is that it then?" he asked softly.

"What?" Kim asked.

"Out of options," Robin closed his eyes with a very sad sigh.

"I think so," Kim admitted. She hung her head. "We tried everything we could think of. Been to all the places we've ever known the pub to appear."

"Visited the haunted leather shop," Robin added.

"And believe me, you don't want to try breaking time by yelling at the locals about the state of this world," Simon bent down to rub his shin again.

"We failed," Kim said with a gripping sense of sadness.

"I really thought that we'd find a way, eventually." Robin told them.

"So did I," said Kim.

"What about last time?" Robin asked.

"What do you mean?"

"When we wanted the pub to appear," Robin reminded her, "we believed it was going to be there... and then it was."

"But time was broken then," Kim pointed out.

"Isn't it worth a try though?"

Kim closed her eyes and sighed despondently

"If it was that easy then Gene would be out of a job," she said.

"I never said it was _easy_, just that we should give it a try," Robin pointed out. He hesitated. "Well, I'm going to do it."

"Go on then," Simon said, curious to know what would happen.

Robin hesitated.

"It's not going to just appear in front of me, is it?" he asked, "it's got to appear out of sight?"

"Beats me, Rob, I have no idea how this works," Kim was starting to get a headache.

Robin hesitated, then glanced at a side alley. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Right," he said firmly, "I'm going to walk around that alley and the pub is going to be at the end of the street." he saw Simon and Kim staring at him curiously and took a deep breath. "Ready," he began, "steady – here I go!" He stepped forward and peered down the alley. "Damnit."

"Well?" Kim called, curiously.

Robin stepped back.

"Nothing," he sighted, "just a bloke, pissing on the wall."

"Ugh," Kim frowned.

"Alright," Simon stepped forward, "I might as well have a go."

"Do you think you've got any more chance than I did?" Robin asked.

"I might have?" Simon shrugged, feeling himself strangely start to blush, "I mean, it's in my genes, isn't it?" he coughed, "in a manner of speaking?"

Robin pointed to the alley.

"Be my guest," he said.

Simon took a deep breath, closed his eyes and braced himself.

"Alright," he said, "I'm going to do it, I'm really going to do this," he swallowed, "one... two... _three!"_

Upon three he leapt into the alley, screamed and ran back to Robin and Kim.

"What is it?" cried Robin, "is it there? Is the pub there?"

"_No!"_ screamed Simon," the bloke jumped and pissed over my feet!" he did a stupid little dance on the spot, distressed by his sodden footwear as an angry and disturbed man ran out of the alleyway, zipping up his jeans.

"You turn Kim," Robin poked her gently and she looked at him in alarm.

"I don't want to get pissed on!" she cried.

"The guy's gone," Robin reminded her,.

"Yeah, all over my_ shoes!"_ cried Simon.

"I meant _literally!"_

"And anyway, I'll just feel stupid," said Kim, "it's not going to happen."

"It did before," Robin reminded her.

"Yes, but time -"

Robin clasped her wrist and stared her in the eye, determined to make her listen.

"You did it before," he told her. He swallowed and there was an intensity in his eyes that Kim had rarely seen before. She felt her heart start to beat a little harder as Robin continued, "it was _you_, Kim. I _know_ it was." He took a deep breath, "You made it happen. I could feel it." It looked as though it wasn't something he even wanted to say, "there was energy all around you."

Shudders like little prickles of static travelled down Kim's spine.

"Rob -"

"_Just try" _he whispered.

Kim stared into his eyes and she couldn't refuse. She swallowed hard, shaken by his words and shaken by the possibility but somehow after she'd seen the look in his eyes she couldn't refuse.

"OK," she whispered back.

Robin looked at her

"OK?"

"OK, I'll try."

She found herself walking closer to the turning, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Go on, Kim," Robin whispered.

There was something strange in the air and Kim couldn't deny it but how could it be enough? She closed her eyes, steeled herself and then began.

"One," she whispered, "two... _three_ -" then she stepped forward, turned around and her brains almost blew in an instant. "_Holy fucking shit."_

Robin and simon scrambled to her side, the glow of the pub stretching so far that it lit up Kim's startled features like a street light. She felt Robin clasp her hand as Simon stepped out, shocked and shaken.

"I don't believe it," he mumbled,

"_I _do," Robin said quietly.

The door opened wide and a man in an '_I Love London' _T-shirt stepped out.

"What took you so long, friends?" he asked, his welcoming arms open wide.

Kim swallowed.

"Just as well the pub's appeared at last," she whispered, "because I _really _need a drink."


	17. Chapter 16: Sam, Simon & Squirty Cream

**Chapter 16**

Nelson's greeting couldn't have been any warmer as he approached them, his arms open wide and a broad smile upon his face.

"I was getting worried," he beamed, "I thought you would never get here. The beer is getting warm."

"Getting?" Simon repeated, rolling his eyes as he watched a second figure hovering in the doorway. "Oh _great_, it's _leather-for-brains."_

"Shut up, Simon," Kim and Robin said in unison, far too absorbed in the shock of the pub appearing to worry about Simon's grudge.

Kim felt shaken as Nelson approached her directly. The last time they'd spoken he'd left her with a shudder and parting words that were still troubling her.

"How did you..." she swallowed, shaking her head.

"We've been waiting all night," Nelson told her.

"Then why didn't you bloody appear?" Kim accused, "we've wasted half the night getting kicked, pissed on and bopping to music in public toilets!"

"Like I told you, Boots," Nelson began, the sudden nickname catching Kim unawares as her gaze dropped to her heavy footwear, "all you had to do was ask." He raised an eyebrow and offered a knowing look momentarily before he turned around and took a few steps back towards the pub. "So, where are the _soon-to-be-weds?"_ he asked and Kim glanced at Robin.

"Well, they're not here yet," she said hesitantly, "we didn't know if we could... you know..."

"Hadn't you better get them?" Sam called from the doorway.

"Shit," Robin said quietly, "I didn't actually think about fetching them."

"Nor me," said Simon.

"Ne neither," added Kim.

"Well hadn't one of you better get them?" Sam asked, "Guv's beer is getting warm."

Kim and Robin turned to one another, suddenly fearing that arriving on the doorstep of Alex and Gene on their last pre-wedding evening would most likely go down as well as a shipment of concrete in the Thames.

"_Bagsy not me," _they cried in union.

"You can;t bagsy that!" Robin protested.

"_You_ tried too!" Kim pointed out.

"The Guv will kill me if I turn up and interrupt them..." Robin coughed, "_you know."_

"_I _can't tell them, they'll think it's a piss take!" Kim protested.

"We'll _all_ go," Simon announced, diplomatically for once. They turned to him as he shrugged. "can't disbelieve all _three_ of us." he shrugged, "well, they _can_ but there's more of us to protect each other from the filing cabinet technique."

"Good point," Robin nodded.

"can't argue with _that_ logic," Kim agreed as Simon began to step away, turning to Nelson.

"We'll be back in ten minutes," he said, "do _not_ go disappearing."

"Wait, wait wait," Sam's voice was steady and serious , "not you."

Simon turned to him and a shocked stare turned into a glare.

"What?" he narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"Need to have a word," Sam told him.

"You _had_ one, two and a half years ago, and it was '_prat'_," Simon scowled but Sam was wholly unmoved by Simon's bitterness, simply laughing a little.

"Come on," he prompted, "I'll get you a cold one."

"First time for everything," Simon mumbled, folding his arms but Sam was very insistent.

"It doesn't take three people to get Gene Hunt to a pub," he said, "the promise of free booze will do it."

"Go on," Nelson turned to Kim and Robin, "we'll keep your bar stools free!"

Kim and Robin glanced at one another and gave a slight shrug.

"Doesn't look like we have a lot of choice," Kim commented.

_"Wait! _You're not actually _leaving_ me here, are you?" Simon cried as he watched Kim and Robin turn to walk away.

"Well someone's got to get them," Robin pointed out.

"And Sam's obviously got something on his mind," Kim added.

"Yeah, all the insults he's been working on since the last time we met," Simon grumbled but with a firm shove from Nelson he found himself following Sam inside. _Oh god fucking damnit, _the man had it in for him, Simon was certain. This was the last thing he needed after the night he'd had.

He stepped through the doorway of the pub, feeling the strange, glowing energy strike him as he passed through. He had expected the tables to be filled but the bar was empty aside from Nelson who was making a quick exit out the back and Sam who was heading behind the bar.

"Come and help me behind the bar," he said and Simon almost choked.

"_Excuse_ me?" he cried.

"Going to have a lot of thirsty patrons in a few minutes," Sam told him, "I could use a hand."

"I've got more interest in pulling _women_ than pulling pints," Simon scowled and Sam laughed.

"You'll soon see," he told him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sam glanced back to him.

"it means you'll see," he repeated simply.

Simon's scowl increased and even though he knew he was only opening himself up to more frustration and anger he followed him behind the bar. He waited for Sam to speak again but he seemed to busy himself by reaching for glasses.

"Well?" Simon said eventually, "I'm here. Now what?"

"Get those pint glasses for me, would you?" Sam asked, pointing in their general direction and against his better judgement Simon did as he was asked. He fetched a few before he spoke again.

"Come on then, out with it," he said, "what is it this time?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't have the haircut or wear the jacket any more," Simon huffed, folding his arms, "so what else are you going to pick on me for? Chewing gum stuck to my shoes?"

Sam folded his arms and leaned back against the bar.

"Has anyone ever told you you hold a grudge too long?" he asked.

Simon folded his arms in response.

"Has anyone ever told _you_ you look like Jasper Carrott?" he retorted and Sam gave a laugh, his eyes turned to the ceiling.

"You're getting more like him every day," he remarked.

"I take it you're not talking about Jasper Carrott?" Simon mocked.

Sam unfolded his arms, reached for a couple of spirit glasses and fetched them each a measure of scotch, one of which Simon accepted with some reluctance. He stared into it and sniffed it which made Sam laugh again.

"It's not _poisoned_," he said. Simon didn't seem reassured and Sam tried not to laugh any more. He sighed deeply and decided that, in the interests of peace, just this once he would offer the olive branch. "Look, Simon, I'm sorry I called you a prat, OK?"

Simon eyed him, not believing he meant that for a second.

"You're either _up_ to something or _after_ something," he decided.

"I'm trying to _apologise_!" Sam cried.

"Your smirk suggests otherwise," Simon pointed out.

"Look," Sam sighed "this is the most humble pie you're going to get from me," he held out his hand to shake Simon's, "take it or leave it."

Simon waited for a good few moments before he reluctantly reached out and shook Sam's hand. He sipped his scotch suspiciously and waited for Sam to go on.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"No, of course that's not it," Sam began. He took a sip and looked at Simon seriously. "It's not good for the guv's only two friends in history to be at war."

"We wouldn't be if you hadn't called me names," Simon pointed out and Sam looked down, smiling.

"Sorry," he sounded a little more sincere this time.

Simon regarded him warily.

"Why _did_ you do that?" he asked, "I don't mean, _why did you call me a prat_, I don;t want the list of reasons..."

"I think you're confusing me with Gene, _he'd_ have a list."

"You walked up to us, pointed at me and said '_who's this prat?_'" Simon pointed out, "then a couple of hours later you were thanking me for looking after Gene! You must have known who I was."

"Time had never been broken before," Sam said with a slightly apologetic shrug, "we were all confused. Didn't know what was going on at first. It took a while to realise what happened. And," he added as an afterthought, "you were taller than I imagined."

Simon wasn't sure where this conversation was going and decided to steer it in another direction.

"You knew Gene was my dad," he began quietly, "didn't you?" Sam gave a slight nod in response. "How?"

"Just did."

"Oh don't give me that!"

"Simon," Sam began, "look at me. What do you see?"

Simon wasn't sure where this was going at all. He frowned critically.

"A leather jacket that's seen better days," he said.

"No, _look_ at me." Simon shook his head, trying to explain that he didn't know what Sam was asking but as Sam raised an eyebrow a terrible sensation his Simon all at once; pain in every limb accompanied by a sound playing through his head like the wind whistling by and horrid images of falling, then a broken, bleeding body hitting the ground. He stepped back in horror and almost lost the contents of his stomach. "_Jesus_ -" he stared at Sam, blinking, trying to forget what he'd seen. It was one of the parts of the world he still hated vehemently; the sudden knowing of how somebody passed away. It was something that seemed to happen usually without warning but from the look on Sam's face it seemed as though he'd invoked it somehow. "What the _fuck_ did you show me that?" he demanded.

"I didn't," Sam leaned back and finished his drink, "you just _saw_. You just knew." he took a deep breath. "works the same for us. We don't know _how_ it happens, sometimes we just see things. Know things."

"You could have told me," Simon accused, "I mean about Gene."

"It wasn't my place."

"Wasn't _Keats's_ either but it didn't stop _him_." Simon noticed that Sam developed a strange expression at the mention of Keats which confused him. Had the two men ever met? As far as he knew they hadn't. He tried to dispel that thought, there were other things he wanted to know and he wasn't sure if he would ever have the chance to ask again. He swilled the last of his scotch around in the glass and drank it before he looked back at Sam. "You told me I was the bridge between two worlds," he began and Sam nodded.

"_Fusion between the dead and the living,"_ he explained, "not supposed to be possible. But then, things were different in Manchester."

"Yeah, I've had that lecture, thanks," Simon scowled but he was starting to find it more difficult to hate Sam suddenly. He scuffed his toe on the ground, not altogether sure he was ready for the answer as he asked,

"So what does that mean, exactly? For me?" he looked Sam in the eye. "You said I had a unique place."

Sam hesitated.

"Had," he repeated.

Simon swallowed.

"I don't any more?"! He waited for Sam to continue but frustratingly he wanted Simon to work things out for himself. "Oh come _on_, that's enough riddles for one night!"

"You're supposed to be a bloody detective chief inspector!" Sam pointed out, "it's not that hard!"

Simon began to protest but stopped before he'd even started his sentence properly. He hesitated as his stomach churned with realisation.

"_Had_," he whispered. He looked down as his mind ran over the subject then he looked back at Sam. "I'm not the only one any more, am I?" he whispered, "Alex's baby...?" Sam closed his eyes and nodded. "_Shit."_

"Alex was still alive when she got pregnant," Sam pointed out, "fusion between dead and living again."

"I'm still the only one in _this_ world though," Simon pointed out.

"Yeah," Sam said slowly, "but now there's a... an entrance to the bridge on both sides.

Simon stared at him.

"What are you saying to me?" he whispered.

Sam hesitated.

"What do you think happens," he began eventually, "if both sides of a bridge are open to the public?"

Simon frowned, the riddles were frying his brain.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "iI suppose people can cross..." he suddenly froze, his eyes widening with realisation, "..._cross from one side to the other,_" he whispered, his gaze roaming from side to side as the enormity of the situation dawned upon him.

"Doesn't have to be people," Sam said quietly and Simon looked at him in shock.

"Cars, desks, turkeys..." he shuddered, "Christmas trees..." his hand rose to his mouth. "Shit, all those things started happening after Alex disappeared," he whispered, "and her baby went with her."

"The bridge opened for business," Sam told him, grasping a glass and pulling himself a pint.

"_Shit,"_ Simon tried desperately to think of anything else to say but words were not forthcoming. He stared at the floor as he thought about all the things that had gone one way or the other. The bridge wasn't for people, it was for everything else. He stared at Sam. "But nothing happened until there was... one of us at each side," he whispered, "so when you told me I was unique... that I had a special role to fill... you must have meant something else." he noticed Sam becoming extremely interested in the pint he was pulling. "What _did_ you mean?"

He waited for Sam to offer up another riddle but instead he looked Simon in the eye.

"You made things unstable," he said and Simon blinked.

"I did what?"

"It was the start," Sam explained, "of the oddities." He sipped his pint, "You entered as part of a pair. Keats got his own station. Alex... well, she was real, in two different worlds. The past was changed. The list goes on."

Simon hesitated as those words sank in. He folded his arm and tapped his toe against the wall, just to distract himself, then finally looked back as Sam.

"Does Gene know it's because of me that these things happened?" he asked and Sam shook his head. "Good," mumbled Simon, "because if he knew I'd 'unbalanced' the world he'd probably say my arse was too big."

Sam smiled, he often missed Gene's humour.

"You look like you need one of these," he said, putting down his pint, "come here."

Simon eyed him suspiciously.

"Why?" he folded his arms, "have you rigged that beer pump?"

"Don't be soft," Sam pushed an empty pint glass into Simon's hand. "Have a go."

"I'm not on work experience!" Simon cried, feeling embarrassed and self-conscious.

"Just _try_," Sam told him. Simon scowled but reluctantly stepped forward, glaring a little at the beer pump.

"Alright, _fine_," he pouted, "what do I do?"

"Hand here, glass here," Sam instructed. Simon sighed deeply and rolled his eyes but followed the instructions. "Tilt the glass a bit. No, the other way."

"I thought _you_ were supposed to be the part time barman," Simon mumbled, aware that Sam was already laughing at his miserable efforts as he began to slowly pull back on the handle of the pump and fill his glass. A few moments later there was a half-foam pint on the counter and a somewhat annoyed but also strangely proud Simon peering at it. "Actually," he mumbled, "that's not bad. Better than Gene's efforts."

"Doesn't take much to be better than his efforts," Sam pointed out.

Simon poked a little at the foam and eyed Sam suspiciously.

"Interesting as my trip to bar school has been," he began, "I don't see what that's got to do with bridges. Unless I'm supposed to provide refreshments as well."

"Always pays to learn a new skill," Sam told him as Nelson returned, "Oi! Nelson!" Sam caught his attention and pointed to the foamy pint, "not bad for a first-timer, is he?"

"Not bad," Nelson nodded, "...not good, either,"

"_Hey,"_ Simon cried as Nelson went about his task of preparing the pub for their special guests. He turned back to Sam, his previous words still ringing through his mind. Somehow he felt more unsettled now than ever. "So," he whispered, "if I'm so _special_ than what am I here for?" he scratched his head, "not to send Gene's old Fiat back and forth through time, I presume?"

"Nope."

"Then what?" Simon felt his heart starting to race. "Am... am I supposed to take over from Gene? Is that it?" he was somewhat disturbed by Sam's raucous laughter. "I'm not _that_ bad!"

"No," Sam managed to stop himself laughing, "No, you're not." he paused, "not that bad, and also not supposed to take the reins when the Guv hands them over," he shook his head, "no, there are others set to step into his boots."

Simon swallowed. He felt like second best. Even with half his DNA coming from Gene he wasn't good enough to take the world.

"Then what?" he whispered and Sam hung his head.

"You're here to make sure there's still a world for them to _take_," he said seriously and a terrible chill passed down Simon's spine, the moment catching him unawares.

"What -" he began to ask but his words were cut off by a raucous cheer as the bar filled with familiar faces, ready and waiting for the bride and groom-to-be to make their arrival. As Sam turned his attention to filling glasses for the crowd Simon knew his moment was over. Once again the man with the leather jacket had left him with more questions than answers. "I'm starting to understand why Gene perfected the filling cabinet technique on you," he muttered under his breath.

~xXx~

"Go on then."

Kim frowned.

"Go on what?"

"Knock."

"_You_ knock!"

"_You're_ the one slinking off for all-night games of tonsil tennis with the future Mrs Hunt!"

"You think that's a good reason for me to be the one to knock?" cried Kim, "besides, there was no slinking involved!"

"Well I can't knock," Robin folded his arms.

"Why not?"

"Because I still keep having flashbacks to wallpaper strippers every time I look Gene in the eye."

"That's a lame excuse!"

"It's better than yours!"

In an instant the whole argument was academic as the door opened and Kim and Robin turned to find an angry Gene, arms folded, swathed in what had to be Alex's dressing gown.

"Do you two make a habit of arguing on people's doorsteps when they're trying to give their future wife a sly one or have you singled me out for special treatment?" he barked.

"Oh," Robin gulped, "s-sorry, Gene, we didn't mean to disturb -"

"Good, then you can piss back off," Gene told him, closing the door just as Kim thrust a foot through to block him.

"_Argh!"_ she cried as the door slammed against her boot and rebounded. The glare she shot Gene held at least twice as much venom as the one he'd given the pair of them.

"_Kim!"_ Robin cried, "are you OK?"

"OK is not the word I'd use," Kim said through gritted teeth.

"I can't help it if your big feet got in the way of my slam!" Gene huffed.

"I'll pierce your bloody arse if you do that again," Kim threatened.

"Kim, you can't threaten the guv!" Robin cried.

"I can and I did," Kim said proudly.

"Oh really?" Gene raised an eyebrow, "I'd like to see you try it."

"Just watch me," Kim threatened.

"You never would, you'd run a mile."

"_I'd _run a mile?"

"Me arse is hairier than Simon's."

Kim gulped and hid behind Robin.

"Oh _ewwww!_" she cried.

"Now," Gene began, "if that's all then I'd like to see the back of the pair of you while I enjoy one last night of sin. Goodbye."

"_Wait!_" Robin cried, grasping the door to hold it open, "we've got a _surprise_ for you!"

"if it's anything like the surprise you gave Bols in her hospital room that scared her for life I'm not interested," Gene barked, "I can find that sort of thing on the top shelf!"

He made anther attempt to shut them out but Kim charged at the door with her shoulder and forced her way in.

"Gene?" Alex's voice came from the staircase, "what's going on?"

"Double glazing salesmen," Gene mumbled as Kim called out to her,

"_Ma'am?"_

"_Kim?"_ there was a pause and then Alex tiptoed down the stairs with a blanket around her shoulders, "what's going on?"

"The guv won't let us in and we've got a surprise for you!" Robin cried as Alex shuddered.

"I've had enough of your surprises," she mumbled.

"No, a _nice_ one," Kim promised.

"Hand it over then," Gene held out his hand.

"I can't, you've got to come to it."

"No deal, Stringer," Gene attempted to shove her out but she evaded his grasp, ducked under his arm and ran to the foot of the stairs.

"Ma'am, _you'll_ listen to me, won't you?" she pleased.

Alex hesitated.

"That... _depends_," she said cautiously, "if what you've got to say leads to me _not_ getting back to bed then I might have to decline."

"We've worked so hard to make this happen," Robin protested.

"Make what happen?" Alex frowned.

"You've got to come with us to see," Kim pleased.

"I'm not going anywhere until we've used at least half a can of squirty cream!" Gene scowled but Kim shook her head.

"You have to come now," she insisted, "it's only a couple of minutes away," she paused, "I promise it'll be worth it."

"Swear on your life?" Gene asked.

"Of course."

"Swear on the collection of objects under yer bed?"

Kim scowled.

"How do you even _know_ about those?" she accused.

"It'll be worth your while, "Robin told them, "really. Please, come with us."

Kim and Robin stared at the shocked, annoyed faces of Alex and Gene for some time until they finally looked at one another and Alex gave a curious nod.

"They practically gave a powerpoint presentation, Gene, we _should_ give them the time."

"Time is something you're _not_ getting," Gene frowned, "you've got us for five minutes. No more.

"You might want to stay a bit longer than that," Kim told them.

"Why? How long does it take to pierce me hairy arse?" Gene asked and she made a face at him.

"Get dressed," Robin told them, "dress _up_. But make it fast. We'll wait here."

As he began to stroll towards the lounge Gene grasped his shoulders and turned him around like a clockwork toy.

"No you won't, you'll park yer backsides on the garden wall," he told them, shoving them out of the door and closing it. The letter box opened and Kim called through,

_"Be quick!"_

"You casting aspersions on my prowess, Stringer?" Gene demanded.

_"I mean getting dressed!"_

Gene rolled his eyes and sighed, glancing at Alex who seemed confused and annoyed in equal amounts.

"Bloody Nora," he muttered, "what does a man have to do to get a night of peace before his big day?"

Alex sighed and smiled as he started to walk up the stairs.

"Don't worry, Gene," she began, "the squirty cream will keep."

"I'm not sure _I_ can," Gene mumbled.


	18. Chapter 17: Drinks, Doors & Smoooth DJs

**Chapter 17**

"It's not much further," Robin hopped from one foot to another as he bounded along, leading a reluctant Gene and Alex.

"It had better bloody not be," Gene moped, "there's a can of squirty cream going warm back home."

"It'll be worth sacrificing," Kim told them.

"I doubt it," Gene told them, "unless this thing you've got to show us happens to be an industrial sized tub of chocolate body paint."

"There," Robin stopped by the turning, "it's just down there."

"This had better not be a tramp about to take a leak over my shoes," Gene said gruffly.

"Don't worry, we've already had all the pissing incidents for one night," Kim sighed, her arms folded.

"Alright then, Batman and Twatgirl -"

_"Hey!" _Kim scowled angrily.

"Let's see what you-strike me down with an Andrew Ridgeley autograph!" Gene looked as though he was in danger of passing out as he stopped dead and left Alex running into him with an _'oof!_' She blinked a few times and her hands rose to her mouth at the sight which greeted them. At the end of the alley stood the Railway Arms, its door open and a bright, welcoming glow emanating from inside. Across one of the windows Nelson had just managed to put up a '_congratulations_' banner while over the door were a string of fairy lights, albeit ones in the shape of London telephone boxes.

A smiling Nelson strode towards them with a distant, thoughtful Simon just behind. Sam hung back in the doorway, with a silent smile as his greeting for the Guv.

"How... how on earth did you manage this?" Alex breathed, stepping forward in a trance-like state.

"I hope this isn't a hint that it's time for last orders, Gene scowled, "because I'm not ready to hang up my boots yet!"

"Relax, would you?" cried Kim, "it's supposed to be a nice _surprise! _A wedding gift!"

"Not something from Nelson's_ I Love London_ collection?" Alex panicked.

"No," Robin laughed, "a night with..." he indicated the pub as sounds of cheering came from within, "_everyone."_

"Mon Brave, it's good to see you," Nelson arrived in front of them, beaming at the sight of them, "one last night of freedom?"

"That was the plan," Gene told him, "now I'm surrendering it to a lock-in by the look of things."

Simon looked somewhat sheepish as he stepped closer, hands in his pockets.

"Gene," he said awkwardly.

Gene eyed him.

"Shoebury," he said gruffly, "you been redecorating? Offering Nelson a piece of steamy advice for getting rid of that wallpaper?"

"This is trying to make _up_ for the stag night," Simon told him.

"Let me tell you if you've succeeded when I've tasted the beer," Gene told him but a brief thump on the back told Simon that the wallpaper stripper was all but forgotten.

"Come inside," Nelson began to trot back to the door, "there are a lot of people waiting to congratulate you."

"I can't believe it," Alex said, quite amazed, "how on earth did you make it..." she blinked, _"you know..."_

Kim shrugged innocently.

"If you don't ask, you don't get," she said with a smile.

Sam held out his hand as they approached the doorway.

"Congratulations, Guv," he said, "we never thought we'd see the day."

"You won't live to see another day full stop if you keep up the wise cracks," said Gene but there was a glint in his eye as he shook his hand.

"Alex," Sam smiled as he turned to her, "it's not too late to back out, you know. I think you've already done your time."

Alex smiled as she gave Sam a brief and slightly uncomfortable hug.

"I already know where there's a window if I need an escape route," she said cheekily.

"Come on, inside with you," Nelson herded them through the door, waving Simon and the others in too, listening to the cheers that rose from all the faces they knew so well the moment that the happy couple walked inside. As Nelson began to follow them he hesitated and glanced down the alley where a figure lurked, almost unseen, his eyes fixed on the happy crowd, focussing on the back of Simon as he made his way inside. There was a scramble as he realised he'd been spotted and Nelson called out to him, "What about you?" he paused as he saw the man looking a little bewildered, "you coming in too?" The figure hesitated, shuffling back and forth, one foot to the other. "Doors are open for you now. If you're ready?" But the figure eventually he hung his head before his heart could make a stupid decision, then hurried away into the night.

Nelson gave a short sigh and shook his head slowly. Some people just didn't want to be helped.

"Goodnight then," he called, waving to the empty air, "perhaps next time."

~xXx~

The applause and the cheers seemed to last an eternity as a sea of faces greeted the happy couple and their friends who'd given them the most memorable present of their lives. Stood up, smiling and cheering, their friends and colleagues greeted them warmly as Alex beamed, grasping Gene's arm tightly while Gene attempted to play it cool.

"Rowdy lot here tonight, aren't they?" he asked Sam who only smiled.

From inside the crowded pub the sound of Ray Carling's voice piped up;

_"Three cheers for the Guv and Ma'am,"_ he raised his glass, "hip hip -"

"_Hooray!_" the crowd cheered.

"Hip hip -"

"_- Hooray!"_

"Hip hip -"

"_- Hooray!"_

"And one for luck," Chris piped up, "hip-hip!"

"_Hooray!"_

"And another one for luck – _ow!" _Chris rubbed his ribs as Ray struck him across the chest.

"Sit down, Chris, you're being a div," he admonished.

"I'm not being a div!" Chris protested.

"You _are_ engaging in div-like behaviour," Alex had to smile, She'd missed that,. She missed each and every one of them.

"Drinks on the house all night," Nelson announced, diving behind the bar, "bar snacks will be coming out soon," he looked a little hesitant, "don't try the soufflé though."

Kim, Robin and Simon exchanged a glance.

"Probably good advice," Robin commented.

"But wait, there's more," Nelson continued like a cheesy commercial, indicating a door at the side of the bar which strangely seemed to have appeared from nowhere. The door opened wide and a moustached man rushed through, zeroing in on Alex and sweeping her into a hug.

"_Signorina Drake!" _he cried as she squealed in surprise, her eyes lighting up with joy, "I am _so_ happy for you! I hear your news! Tomorrow you will be the most _beautiful_ bride!"

_"Luigi!"_ Alex cried, her eyes closed with delight, "it's been so very long!" She squeezed him back as he hugged her, reluctant to let her go.

"Haven't seen you in such a _long_ time!" Luigi cried.

"I know," Alex smiled fondly as she finally escaped the tight embrace, "things have been quiet. For me," she added slightly late, realising that of them all Simon had been the one to help more souls than anyone else since his arrival. The last time Alex had taken someone to the doors of her own local had been months before Simon's arrival, even before _Kim's_ in 1995. The souls of the world ebbed and flowed, sometimes Alex would be the busy one and sometimes that role would fall to Gene, but it had started to feel as though they were superfluous to requirements. That made Alex feel strangely nervous.

"Who's the guy that looks like Super Mario?" Robin frowned.

"Wrong brother," Gene nudged him, "_Luigi_. restaurateur and general walking Italian stereotype." He paused, "Bolly's local."

Robin nodded slowly. It seemed strange to finally meet the fabled Luigi, especially after his earlier pondering.

"I have prepared _very_ special food for you," he told Alex and Gene and they glanced at one another guiltily.

"Ohhh Luigi," Alex sighed, "there's nothing I'd like more than to taste your fine cooking again, but we already ate."

"Well maybe you can work up an appetite first," Sam suggested throwing open another door that left loud music and pink neon lighting pouring into the bar, stealing the breath from Simon as he gasped in shock.

"_Oh my god,"_ he whispered, his hands drawn to his head, "It's _Bask_... It's actually _Bask_..." he walked slowly towards the doorway and peered inside where the dance floor was ready to take the crowds as a _smooooooth_ DJ prepared the karaoke machine.

"_He-e-e-e-e-e-ey,_" he drooled, "_it's been a while but we've got some old faces in tonight! Simon, the first spot is yours! Come and pick your first song of the night!"_

Simon's stare moved from the DJ to Alex and Gene.

"Is this _real?"_ he squeaked, "is it really _here?"_

"It's like we told you, Simon, " Alex began, feeling more emotional with every new surprise, "it all joins up inside. Everyone will be together eventually, whichever door they enter."

A sudden question from Robin caught their attention.

"Kim, are you crying?"

It took Kim a moment to realise exactly what Robin had asked her and she frantically set her expression as stern and serious, wiping away the errant tear from her cheek.

"_No,"_ she lied but her heart was thumping with emotion. Kim had frequented Bask long before Simon's arrival. Afterwards she and Simon had shared many fun, drunken evenings at the karaoke. To Kim, it had been over a decade since she last saw the place. It was almost too much to take.

Simon gave a distant smile, thinking about those happy nights. He grasped Kim by the arm and pulled her towards the doorway.

"_Come on,"_ he told her, _"duet."_

"Oh, _no,"_ Kim groaned.

"For old time's sake," simon told her

With more fake than genuine reluctance Kim agreed and followed Simon into the karaoke bar, with the rest of the gathering following behind them.

"What are you going to sing?" Robin asked as they pored over the 1998 catalogue, pointing tracks out to one another before dismissing them. Finally they both pointed to the same one and burst out laughing. "What?" Robin asked, "what are you singing?"

But Simon and Kim ignored him as they took their request to the DJ and waited for him to play the track for them. A few moments later they jumped up on stage together and Simon's voice boomed over the sound system;

_"We're dedicating this one to Robin,"_ who instantly looked suspicious.

"What _exactly_ are you dedicating me me?" he demanded as _The Boy Is Mine_ began to play over the speakers and Robin didn't know whether to hide or laugh. Eventually he managed to do a little of both. The fact that the three of them had reached a point where they could genuinely laugh about all that had happened between them meant a lot to Robin. To _all_ of them. And while Robin and Simon may no longer have been in love they found a friendship that filled both their lives with warmth and happiness.

_#...You need to give it up  
Had about enough  
It's not hard to see  
The boy is mine  
I'm sorry that you  
seem to be confused  
He belongs to me  
The boy is mine...#_

"_My bleeding ears,"_ Gene moaned, clamping his hands over them, "I managed to conveniently forget how bad Shoebury's singing was."

"Oh, leave him alone, Gene, I've heard worse," Alex told him, pointedly.

"This the part where you add '_from you'?_" Gene demanded.

"I didn't say that!" Alex protested with an innocent smile.

"Wait until I've flexed me vocal chords before you cast aspersions on my singing," he told her, grasping the catalogue to find the best track to highlight his vocal talents, such as they were.

Alex turned to Robin who was still trying to hide desperately as Kim and Simon sang to him from the stage.

"_Robin_," she tapped his arm to get his attention, "Robin, this is _amazing_," she breathed.

Robin looked at all the happy faces around them; the fondness they had for Alex and Gene, the bond they had with one another. Suddenly his fears about helping souls to pass on seemed so much less daunting than before. He nodded and smiled distantly.

"Yeah," he said quietly "it _is_ amazing, isn't it?"

"How on earth did you even think of doing this?" she asked, "how did you make it happen?"

"It was Kim, actually," Robin told her, "Kim's idea, Kim's endless determination," he sighed, "and in the end, Kim only had to ask."

"To ask what?" Alex frowned.

Robin sighed as he watched Kim and Simon ending their song to applause from the gathering.

"For a lock-in," he said simply with a smile, then joined in with the clapping and rushed tgo the stage to hug Kim as she climbed down.

"Hey, where's mine?" Simon demanded.

"Give me a break, I've only got one pair of arms," Robin told him, abandoning Kim to offer Simon a hug too.

"_Oh shit," _Kim cried in a panic.

Simon and Robin turned to her.

"What?" they asked in unison.

"_Gene's going to sing,"_ Kim wept and Simon looked panicked.

_"Oh shit,_" he agreed.

"_Oh god,"_ Robin had only heard Gene offer a couple of renditions, back in 1995 but they'd scarred him for life.

"Oh _no_, it gets _worse_," Kim wept, "he's not even singing, he's _rapping!"_ the beginning bars of _Getting Jiggy With It _started up and Gene prepared to slaughter the track to the best of his ability.

Worryingly Ray and Chris appeared to be poring over the catalogue too.

"So this carrot-olé thing," Ray began.

Alex folded her arms.

"Karaoke," she said.

"That's the one," Ray agreed, "...they play the music and the words come up on the telly?"

Alex nodded.

"And you sing along with the track," she told them.

Ray began to look a little too interested.

"Piece of piss," he told them, putting in his request.

"I'm not so sure this was a good idea after all," Kim said warily but found Alex's hand on her arm, turning her around until their eyes met which made Kim blush a little.

"No, Kim," she told her, "it wasn't a good idea. It was a _perfect_ idea." She looked as though she just might burst with happiness. "the _best_ idea. Thank you, Kim. Thank you so much."

"It was a group effort," Kim told her as Alex's eyes moved around the room. She felt herself giving a contented sigh. Their last day of freedom was spent taking a trip down memory lane and Alex for one was endlessly thankful for the opportunity. The world had brought them together, and here it was, all around them. The night held so much promise, and so did the future.


	19. Chapter 18: Sauce, Steak and Sexy Boy

**Chapter 18**

"Maybe opening up Bask wasn't such a good idea," Simon scowled as he watched Gene slaughtering his fifth song of the night. It had been bad enough when he'd been attempting to rap. He'd furthered his own humiliation by launching into a rendition of '_Horny_' which he dedicated to his '_ball and chain to be_', shortly after which Alex threatened to call off the wedding unless he stopped torturing her eardrums. The DJ physically barred him from launching into _Avenging Angels_ by plastering himself across the TV set so Gene couldn't see the lyrics.

It didn't seem as though the evening was going to get much better when Ray jumped up on stage, microphone in hand, preparing to begin his selected track.

"This is a song close to my heart," he announced over the sound system, a moment before _Sexy Boy_ came pumping out of the speakers. Ray froze on the spot, his eyes bolting as the crowd descended into howls of laughter. "What the hell do you call this?" he demanded, waving the mic threateningly in the DJ's direction, "this isn't what I picked!"

"Sorry," the DJ mumbled, trying to sort through his tapes to find the right one.

"Will you _turn_ that _off?_" Ray demanded as the song continued to play.

"_Not until I've found your song!_" the DJ told him.

"If you don't turn it off they're all going to think it _is_ my song!" Ray cried in a panic.

"_Come on, Ray, sing it!_" Chris cheered him on.

"I'm going to flush your head down the bog if you say that again," Ray jabbed at him with the microphone.

"For god's sake, someone take that thing away from him!" cried Shaz, "it's like he's got a new weapon!"

To Ray's relief the music stopped.

"About bloody time!" he cried but to his horror the next track that started was _Diva_, the winning Eurovision entry from a few months prior. His face reddened and he threw down the mic in despair. "_Iggy Pop, Passenger!_" he cried, "that's all I wanted! It's not that hard for your music-muddled brain to figure out, is it?"

"I've got a lot of requests!" the DJ protested, "it's not easy being this _smooooooth_ and running a karaoke afterlife at the same time, you know!"

"Forget it," Ray stomped off the stage while he had even the slightest remaining touch of credibility left, "I'm sticking to pints in the pub from now on!"

"Who's next?" Simon wondered, glancing around.

"Next up we've got resident songstress Lindsay Peters!" the DJ announced as Lindsay rushed up to the stage and Simon's eyes lit up.

_"Lindsay!"_ he cried, waving frantically. She'd been a permanent fixture on stage during the crazy, drunken nights out in Simon's early days in the world. Seeing her take the mic and begin her song made Simon realise just how much he missed Bask in his daily life. Since the bar had closed to become his place there had been nothing to fill the gap. Every now and then he'd venture to the nightclub with Robin and the others but he felt terribly out of place. Dancing wasn't his thing, and while he'd been known to dance until dawn at Bask the whole atmosphere was more relaxed. People took their clubbing so _seriously_. Simon just didn't identify with that.

_# ...We are taking it easy  
Bright and breezy  
We are living it up  
Just fine and dandy_

We are chasing the moon  
Just running wild and free  
We are following through  
Every dream, and every need...#

It was strange for Simon to see Lindsay singing along with the Corrs' hit _So Young,_ knowing that it had been such a long time since he'd last seem her at karaoke. After her death something had always felt like it was missing from Bask. He started to wonder exactly what it was like for those who'd moved on. Was this actually all there was? Did they spend all day and night dancing, drinking, living it up? Or were there other things that even Gene and Alex weren't privy to? He supposed there was only one way he would ever know for sure.

_# ...And it really doesn't matter that we don't eat  
And it really doesn't matter that we don't sleep  
It really doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter at all_

'Cause we were so young then  
We are so young, so young now  
And when tomorrow comes  
We'll just do it all again... #

The lyrics seemed so fitting somehow. Simon closed his eyes and found himself moving to the music, dancing, swaying, losing himself in the moment, At times like this it was easy to forget exactly where he was, where they _all_ were. It could have been just another normal night out.

"_Guv!"_ A cry from Malcolm caught everyone's attention as he flew into the crowd, "_Ma'am!_ There's trouble in_ Luigi's!"_

Alex turned to him.

"What kind of trouble?" she asked worriedly.

"I don't know but he's shouting a lot!" Malcolm told her.

"Do you think anyone needs first aid?" Susannah asked hopefully.

"Not unless you've been within a mile of them," Gene mumbled as he and Alex rushed out of Bask and through the doorway they'd seen Luigi enter the pub from earlier that night. They scanned the trattoria for trouble, wondering what they were going to find, before they spotted Luigi shoving Robin heavily out from the back of the restaurant.

_"I only wanted the recipe!"_ he cried pitifully.

"_It has been in my family for many generations!"_ Luigi yelled, _"it stays in the family for years to come!"_

"_I just wanted to know how you made the sauce!"_ cried Robin, his hands up as though surrendering while Luigi gave him another shove.

"You stay _out_ my kitchen!" he cried, "My food is too good for you!"

_Ohhhh,_ that did it. Robin glared at Luigi with fire in his eyes.

"Oh really?" he scowled.

"My food is for people with taste!" he cried, "you look like you join the circus!"

"_Excuse_ me?" cried Robin but Luigi found himself distracted by someone else, rushing as fast as he could to a table where Kim was zeroing in on a plate of something.

"I tell you already! This is for the beautiful signorina! Not for someone who put hole in my floor with boots!"

"_I did no such thing!"_ Kim protested.

"I have to fix it with a plank!" Luigi yelled.

"I only wanted something to eat!" Kim protested.

"This table is reserved!"

"_They're_ not eating it!" Kim protested, "they've eaten, I haven't!"

_"Ahem?"_ Robin cried, "I made you dinner before we left home!"

"Oh come on, Rob, that meal was sixty-percent baked beans!"

"What the bleedin' hell is going on?" Gene's voice boomed out calling a sudden halt to the arguments. Robin, Kim and even Luigi looked around a little guiltily.

"Nothing, Guv," Robin felt himself turning red with embarrassment.

"The fact you've busted me eardrums with your yelling tells me that something is," Gene scowled, "so spill it, Batman. What's getting your goat?"

Robin felt his bottom lip wavering.

"It's that _waiter_," he pouted, "all I wanted was the recipe for the sauce," he felt a tear start to trickle from his eye, "but he started being really _horrible_ to me..."

_"Secret family recipe!_" Luigi threw his arms in the air, "you in my family? Huh?"

Robin pouted.

"No."

"Then no recipe!"

"And what about the clunky one?" Gene asked, turning his attention to Kim.

"Look, my boot _might_ have left a _minor_ dent in his floor," Kim held up her hands, "but that's only because I was in a hurry to get to the pasta."

"Which is not for you!" Luigi cried out.

"But I'm _starving!"_ Kim protested, her stomach growling like a cued-up sound effect as though to illustrate the point. She felt her face flush and she looked down with embarrassment, "_see?"_

"That's bloody situation normal for the state of your guts, Stringer," Gene huffed, "get yer hands off me grub!"

"The pasta is for signorina Drake," Luigi cried, "not for you!"

"Then what have _I_ got?" Gene demanded. Luigi clicked his fingers and hurried out into the kitchen before returning with a large plate.

"Steak and chips pizza," he beamed, "like the good old days!"

Gene stared at the food, looking wholly unimpressed.

"I've still got bits stuck between me teeth from the _last_ one I had," he mumbled, suddenly finding a Kim between himself and the pizza. She dropped to her knees in a state of worship as she opened up her arms wide and breathed,

_"What heavenly fusion of cuisine is this?!"_

"The kind of heavenly fusion you need a chainsaw to cut through," Gene told her, shoving her to one side, "hands off me pizza, Metal Mickey. You've got yer _own_ galloping gourmet to cook for you." he turned to Alex. "Think I've found me appetite."

Alex still wasn't feeling particularly hungry but the smell of the pasta really was tempting her.

"Alright then," she smiled, "dinner for two, Luigi?"

Luigi breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Right this way, signorina," he indicated the table he';d already prepared with candles and wine before he turned to Kim and Robin with a sarcastic smile. "Dinner for two, _not_ four," he told them, _"out!"_

"But -" they protested.

"_Out!"_ Luigi clapped his hands as he chased them away from his restaurant, leaving Alex and Gene to eye one other over candlelight. For a few moments they sat in silence, the strange familiarity striking them dumb until finally Gene spoke.

"Well Bolly," he began, "what a way to spend the last night."

"Same way we spent the first," Alex smiled, remembering her first night in Gene's world.

"Red wine and a white leather jacket," Gene said nostalgically. He lifted the glass of wine already set out for him and held it up. "You and me, Bolly. We took the long road, but we made it."

Alex smiled, trying to hide a sentimental tear in her eye.

"Was there ever any doubt?" she smiled.

They clinked glasses and drank, Gene pulling a face at the taste of the wine almost instantly.

"You say even _I've_ grown up Bols, so how come this bloody wine hasn't matured in seventeen years?" he held up his hand, "_ Luigi! You can do better than this!"_

Alex bowed her head with a smile as an annoyed Luigi hurried back to the table. Yes, Gene _had_ grown up, but beneath it he was the same man she'd always known and in a world forever changing that meant so much. Same old Gene, same old wine, but the next day would see life changing in a wonderful way and Alex for one couldn't wait.


	20. Chap 19: Dessert, Digestion & Dedication

**Chapter 19**

"Gene, you're not even enjoying that."

Alex was right, he _wasn't_. It was tougher to get through than one of Simon's tirades. The pizza base was solid, the steak leathery and the chips soggy. It wasn't one of Luigi's better efforts. But Gene could see Kim's glare fixed upon him all the way through from the Railway Arms bar and he was going to make sure she watched him eat every last morsel of the thing.

"I _am_ enjoying it," he informed Alex, "just not in the traditional way."

In truth he was still full from his earlier dinner and struggling with the pizza but the last thing he was going to do was leave any leftovers for the likes of Metal Mickey. He gave her a sarcastic smile as he chewed another mouthful and watched her seething. To Gene, that was the best wedding present of them all.

~xXx~

"The _bastard."_

_"Kim!"_

"What?"

"That's a bit severe, isn't it?"

"He _is!_" Kim protested, "Look at him, sitting there, staring at me while he crams that bloody pizza into his oversized gut."

"How many pizzas have I made you in the past?"

"You've never made me a steak and chips one before."

"You never _asked_ for one!"

"Only because I didn't know one existed!" Kim protested, turning her glare up a notch as Gene aimed his fork in her direction then turned it around to shovel another heap of pizza into his mouth. "Bastard," she repeated.

"Kim, the more you stare the more pleasure he'll take from winding you up!"

"I know but I can't _help_ it," Kim growled angrily. She turned to Robin. "Can we strike a deal?"

"Oh _god_, I don't like the sound of this," Robin groaned.

"You might in a minute," Kim told him, "make me a steak and chips pizza when we go home and I'll help you smuggle your bean tins into the wedding reception tomorrow to serenade Gene with a rendition of _Here Comes the Bride."_

Robin hesitated, biting on his lip for a moment.

"You have yourself a deal," he told her and Kim smirked.

"_Excellent_." She found her attention caught by the approach of Nelson as he placed a dish in front of them on the bar. "What's this?" she asked.

"Compliments of the Railway Arms," Nelson told them with a wink.

"It's a soufflé," Robin said in surprise.

"I thought we were waned _against_ those," Kim pointed out.

Nelson nodded to Robin.

"Made by _your_ recipe," he told him and the two exchanged a glance.

"It's no steak and chips pizza," Kim whined momentarily, "it does smell good though."

"It's all yours," Nelson told them, leaving some cutlery on the bar and heading through to the back. Kim and Robin exchanged a glance and a shrug, then tucked in expectantly. Surprisingly the taste was far better than either had been expecting.

"This isn't half bad," Kim said in approval.

"You've got to admit this is better than some stinky chip-pizza-thing," Rob in told her and Kim nodded, attacking the soufflé again. She turned back to the door of Luigi's, holding up a large spoonful for Gene to see, smiling broadly and shovelling it into her mouth. The scowl that crossed his face was a delight to see. Wedding or otherwise, that was a gift indeed.

~xXx~

"Stringer's got a bloody soufflé," Gene mumbled as he shovelled the last piece of pizza into his mouth but Alex already had her head on the table, groaning,

"I shouldn't have eaten that... but it was _so_ good."

"More than can be said for mine," Gene moped, throwing the napkin down on the table with contempt and letting out an earth-shaking belch that almost made Alex call off the wedding in case the church collapsed from the aftershocks. He looked up at the sound of footsteps and saw Luigi heading towards them with the two biggest bowls of ice cream he'd ever seen in his life.

"And now you enjoy my special gelato!" he greeted them, placing the bowls and swiping their plates in an almost seamless motion but to his frustration Gene and Alex only groaned.

"Luigi, that's _very_ kind of you," Alex began tactfully, "but you've already spoilt us -"

"Is your wedding day tomorrow!" Luigi reminded them.

"Yes," Alex began slowly, "and if we're going to fit into our wedding outfits then I'm afraid we'll have to turn down the ice cream. Delicious though it looks," she added. It really _did_ look nice and would be a shame to let it go to waste. She pointed through the doorway. "Give them to Kim and Robin," she said, instantly turning Gene's face to thunder.

"You are _not_ sending Metal Mickey a frozen food parcel," he scowled.

"Well _we're_ not going to eat them, _are_ we?"

"Speak for yerself, Bols, a few spoons of cold milk aren't going to burst me at the seams, are they?" Gene huffed, snatching back one of the bowls as Luigi hovered, unsure what to do.

"Take mine," Alex urged, "take mine and give it to Kim before he eats them both, _please_."

"Si, signorina," Luigi hurried away as Gene's spoon loomed dangerously in his direction whilst Alex shook her head at Gene as he very deliberately forced a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

"Honestly, Gene, you need to stop this stupid rivalry with Kim," she sighed, "it's only going to lead to trouble."

Gene somehow managed to force down his spoonful with a strained gulp, then turned back to Alex.

"She's got me car, she's got me flash, she's got her boots under the table at me station and she's," he hesitated, "_had you."_

Alex rolled her eyes.

"_Here we go,"_ she sighed.

"She's _not_ having my bloody _ice_ cream and all!"

"Or your indigestion?" Alex asked with a sigh but Gene was too busy trying to level the ice cream mountain to reply.

~xXx~

Kim made approving noises as she finished off the soufflé.

"Oh _god,_ that was good," she mumbled, trying to make sure she hadn't left any, "are you sure you didn't want any more of it?"

"Bit difficult now it's gone down your neck," Robin commented but then shook his head. "Nah. Wasn't really in the mood for soufflé. Nice as it tasted." He hoped Kim didn't hear as he added under his breath, "_could have done with more beans though."_

"_Clunky signorina!"_ A sudden Luigi appeared before them, whirling an extreme bowl of ice cream under Kim's nose, "Signorina Drake asked for you to have this; Signor Hunt, not so happy."

Immediately Kim's eyes moved past Luigi and fixed upon Gene's determined glare as he munched ice cream like a cow chewing on grass.

"Oh, he wasn't, was he?" she asked, more to herself than anyone else. Her scowl deepened as she saw Gene using the spoon to assist him in making a rude sign. "We'll see about _that_," she declared, lifting her spoon and twirling it between her fingers like a baton. She dug into the top scoop, thrust the spoonful into her mouth and chewed pointedly in Gene's direction as Luigi departed.

"You just ate a whole _soufflé!"_ Robin reminded her, "_and_ dinner."

"So?" Kim mumbled, her mouth full.

"So either you're going to be watching that ice cream come back in reverse later on or you're going to get brain-freeze so hard that I'll need a blowtorch to melt your head!"

"Keep the blowtorch away, my hair gel's flammable," Kim said calmly, shovelling more ice cream into her mouth as Simon arrived with a catalogue from Bask.

"Alright, they're getting ready to take the last requests,"he began, "so if we're going one together, which -" he stopped talking as he noticed the unusual scene before him. "Erm, Kim?" he swiped his hand in front of her face.

"Leave her," Robin sighed, "she's on a mission."

"What _kind_ of mission?"

"To _out-ice cream_ Gene Hunt apparently," Robin gave a slightly helpless shrug.

"What?" Simon glanced up and noticed Gene staring back, chomping on ice cream as though wading through more steak. "Oh _god_, why?" he groaned.

"_Because,"_ was Kim's only argument.

"You're going to regret this," Robin held his hands to his head, "I mean, where is it going to stop?" he noticed in alarm that her rate of ice-cream consumption seemed to increase as she made it a personal mission to beat Gene to the bottom of the bowl. "Oh _god_, how are you not getting brain freeze?" he cried.

"She'd need a brain for that to happen," Simon pointed out, only to be on the receiving end of a killer glare from Kim.

"At least mine's never been squashed by a server," she commented, poking her ice cream-covered tongue out at him and then heading back to her dessert.

"Kim, just give up!" Robin pleaded, "you'll never manage it all. Your eyes are bigger than your belly!"

"They won't be if she keeps eating _that,_" Simon pointed out, not sure whether to be impressed or panic-stricken by the rate she was managing to consume it. "Good _god_, that is quite terrifying." he shuddered, "I need to step back in case you eat _me."_

"Watch and learn, my friend," Kim slurred slightly from her frozen tongue, "watch and learn."

"You can stop there!" Robin pleaded, "Gene's never going to eat all of his anyway. Just _give_ up before you _throw_ up! Come on Kim, be the bigger person!"

"If she eats more of that she _will_ be the bigger person," Simon commented and found a dollop of strawberry flicked in his direction. "_Oi!" _he wiped it away in distress, "I only came to ask you to choose a bloody song!"

Kim held out her hand.

"Catalogue," she said simply, never breaking the glare she still had fixed upon Gene. Simon cautiously handed it over and her eyes skipped to it for barely a second. "That one," she pointed to a track and handed the catalogue back before spooning up more ice cream and popping the spoon back into her mouth.

"God, Kim, sometimes I worry about you," Simon frowned, "superhuman powers like fast ice cream consumption and picking karaoke tracks without even looking.

Kim forced down her mouthful, her stomach full and the ice cream starting to become a grind.

"My powers are great and varied," she said sarcastically before burping.

"And there's another one," Simon rolled his eyes, retreating towards bask, "the sonic boom burps."

~xXx~

"Gene, _don't_," Alex said firmly.

Gene swallowed hard, his spoon held firmly above the final scoop.

"Got to do it, Bolly," he said.

"I can hear your belt straining from here," Alex began, holding up a menu as though to protect her from flying fastenings.

"One more scoop."

"Just give up!"

"Not while Stringer's still shovelling the bloody thing down her neck like a pierced Mister Frosty machine," Gene grumbled digging his spoon into the final scoop,. He raised it to his lips but they didn't want to open. He tried to trick them by moving the spoon away a little but they wouldn't budge. He used the spoon to prise them open and tipped the ice cream inside, but his jaw didn't want to chew it. It melted a little on his tongue and trickled down his throat as his stomach groaned painfully and his eyes closed. The spoon dropped to the ground and he doubled over, his head hitting the table. _"Bloody hell, me gut's given up,"_ he moaned.

"Oh _hallelujah!" _cried Alex, "does that mean the war is over?" she glanced up to see Kim drinking the last few drops of melted ice cream from the bottom of her bowl. "Oops."

"What do you mean, _oops?" _Gene mumbled into the table.

"Looks like there's a clear winner."

"_Bollocks."_ Gene didn't need to ask.

Alex observed Kim triumphantly holding her empty bowl upside-down over her head, then plonking it back on the bar and doubling over in her seat.

"And a second casualty," she commented.

~xXx~

Sam and Annie watched Simon shuttling back and forth with the track catalogue as they sat in the pub, escaping the rowdy karaoke.

"So did you talk to him?" Annie asked, nodding in Simon's direction.

Sam nodded.

"Might have got a few things sorted,"he told her, "I might not be on his christmas card list but I think we're getting there."

"Good," Annie sighed, "The poor man."

"Poor man nothing, I had to put up with Gene for almost a decade, he's got years to suffer before you can _poor man_ him."

"You know what I mean," Annie said quietly and Sam bowed his head.

"Yeah," he said quietly, sipping his beer. He looked at Annie seriously. "Remember, you heard nothing from me."

"It's hard," Annie spoke softy, "isn't it?"

Sam exhaled and closed his eyes.

"Keeping the secrets of a whole world," he mused, "it's easy to see why Gene blocked it out." he looked at her a little guiltily. "I shouldn't have told you."

"Hey, Sam," Annie rested her fingers on the back of his hand and looked at him sympathetic, "you needed to talk about it. And you know you can always trust me. It won't go any further." She looked at him seriously. "It's too much for one man to keep all those secrets. That's why the Guv and DCI Drake work so well together. Why he's so much happier than he was with the first Missus Hunt. Happier than he was in Manchester."

Sam nodded slowly he knew she was right, he really did, but he still felt terrible about sharing with her the secrets it was his job to protect.

"At least when Gene gets a new recruit he only knows about their past," he said contemplatively, "it's not so easy knowing their future."

"Like taking a friend to the pictures and knowing the sad part's coming up," Annie found a perfect analogy, "you want to warn them but it's not your place to say." She watched Sam nod slowly as he stared into his pint. "Sam. You've cleared the air. You've said what you could. There's nothing else you can do," they both turned their heads to the sight of Simon rushing back and forth with excitement, pointing out songs to friends both past and present. "And," she continued quietly, "eventually, when..." she flinched a little as words Sam told her in confidence one dark evening came back to her, "...when that day comes... and his destiny," the word sounded so strange and pompous that she had to roll her eyes a little, "is fulfilled, then there'll be someone waiting to pick up the pieces."

Sam nodded, turning back to his pint. He drew in his breath slowly.

"You're right, he said, "I _know_ you're right." But it didn't stop him from wishing that he saw a little less in his mind's eye when he took up his post at the bar.

~xXx~

"Alright, the karaoke is closing up in a bit," Simon's voice and hurried footsteps caught Alex's attention and she looked up, "and we've got one last surprise in there for you before -" he trailed away as he reached the table and found Gene's head pressed against it, "Gene? What's the matter with _you?"_

Gene let out a long, pained moan.

"_Go away Shoe-boy,"_ he muttered, "I'm working out how to amputate my entire digestive system."

Simon frowned then looked to Alex for an explanation.

"Best not to ask," she said.

Simon closed his eyes and sighed.

"Does this have anything to do with Kim attempting to set a world record for speed-ice-cream-eating?" he demanded and Gene's groans only increased.

"Don't even _mention_ that half-robot hybrid in me presence or there's going to be an environmental disaster across this table," he mumbled.

"Right," Simon said cautiously, backing away, "well... look, there's just one more surprise to go. Come through to _Bask_ in about five minutes."

"You're assuming I won't need to hire a fork-lift truck to get me there," Gene mumbled and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Leave it with me," she sighed.

Simon backed away nervously and decided making a hasty exit was for the best. He headed back to the bar of the pub where Robin was sitting next to what looked to be a pile of clothes on the floor but on closer inspection was a moaning ball of Kim.

"Oh great!" he threw his hands in the air, "Not you _too!"_

"_Go away and leave me to die in peace,"_ Kim whimpered.

"You're not dying, _yet_," Simon told her, "but if you back out of this thing now then I _will_ kill you."

"_The ice cream got there first,_" Kim groaned but found herself being hauled to her feet.

"_Up,"_ Simon demanded.

"One more command and I'm piercing the other arse cheek," Kim threatened and Simon gulped.

"_Please?" _he asked in a singsong voice.

Kim glared at him and began to lumber towards the door of Bask.

"I can't stand up straight," she moaned.

"That's what you get for trying to out-Gene _Gene_," Robin told her.

_"Trying?"_ Kim folded her arms, "I _won_ that battle, thank you very much."

They walked through the karaoke bar as Eddie belted out _Dance The Night Away_ before them. Reaching the front of the crowd, they found themselves beside Alex and Gene, the latter of the two looking decidedly uncomfortable and hunched over at the waist. As he caught Kim's eye and a sudden glare passed between them they both straightened up stoically, attempting to hide any signs of suffering.

"_Stringer,"_ Gene huffed.

"_Guv,"_ Kim scowled.

Gene attempted a smirk.

"That's an interesting shade for you," he said.

"What is?"

"Your face," Gene smirked, "haven't seen anyone that green since Terry came to the Christmas party as the Incredible Hulk in nineteen ninety two."

Kim scowled, then felt herself smirking back.

"At least the integrity of my trousers remains intact," she said.

"_What -"_ Gene glanced down and found to his horror that not only had he forgotten to refasten his belt after he'd let it out for more ice cream storage space but the button had popped, the zip had fallen down and the entire gathering had received an eyeful of his fried egg boxers. "_Shit!" _he struggled to force the zip back up and refastened the belt as fast as possible.

Eddie's song finished and as he bounded from the stage Robin grasped Kim's hand to pull her towards it.

"_This isn't over, Stringer," _Gene scowled but Kim couldn't hear as the din of the crowd drowned him out. Simon joined them both on the stage and handed around microphones as the DJ made one last announcement.

"_He-e-e-e-e-e-y-y-y-y-y-y,"_ he said smoothly, "it's almost time for Bask to close its doors for the night! But just before we go there's time for one last song. So here's Simon, Robin and Kim with a song dedicated to Alex and Gene."

"I swear to god, if they sing _Mulder and Scully._.." Gene threatened but the song that started was far removed from the one he feared. Familiar chords began and their three friends began to sing;

_#...Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life...#

Alex felt herself tearing up as she listened to lyrics that seemed to fit so well, thinking of the strangeness of the world, the way it took people from a life they'd lost or were about to lose and gave them a whole new direction – new friends, new challenges, even new love. She raised her fingers to her lips sentimentally as she realised every word of the verse could have been sung about her journey. She'd found herself pulled from a normal life and thrown into chaos. All the questions she asked in the world never brought her the answer of why, but in the end it didn't matter. It was just supposed to be. And as she looked around at the sea of familiar faces around them she knew she wasn't the only one who felt that way.

_#...So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life...#

"_It was," _Alex whispered. She found herself reaching for Gene's hand, "It was worth it, It was worth every single thing." Her journey to stay with Gene hadn't been an easy one but now here they were, the night before their wedding, their lives together secure and happy in ways she had never imagined. She knew there would always be things and people that she missed from her old life but the things that mattered she would never forget. She was surprised to find Gene squeezing her hand back and she turned to look at his expression. At first she thought he was still suffering from the ice cream but she realised the pained expression was Gene's way of trying to hide his emotions. The words meant just as much to him, albeit in different ways.

She reached up and cupped his face, turning it towards her.

"_I love you, Gene Hunt," _she whispered, the lights of the club catching the tears in her eyes.

As Gene stared at her expression he'd rarely seen anyone look so sincere.

_#...It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,__  
__I hope you had the time of your life...#_

Gene nodded slowly. He prepared to give his usual response but at the last moment the words seemed to change.

"_Love you too, Bollykecks," _he mumbled as he finally managed to say words that even after seventeen years were so foreign to him. The look on her face as she heard them was a sight to behold and it took just moments for her to grasp his face again and pull it towards her.

As they locked lips the song came to an end and the crowd around them cheered, both for the singing and the kissing. It was a night that had been full of shocks and surprises, not just for Alex and Gene but for every one of them. Then again, that was the way of the world. A more perfect way to end their single lives they could not imagine.

Tomorrow, a new era would begin.

Tonight? A perfect goodbye to the old one.


	21. Chapter 20: Grins, Gabbling & Goodbyes

**Chapter 20**

"_...We thought you two would never get off your arses and get it on."_

Alex leaned her head wearily against Gene's shoulder as they stood at the bar in the Railway Arms, listening to the kind words their friends had to say before they departed the pub. The doors to _Bask_ and _Luigi's_ had closed; the _smooooooth_ DJ was busy trying to wipe up the blood from the victims of Susannah's quest to perform first aid while Luigi was attempting to rid the floor of random clunky boot prints. Behind the bar of the Railway Arms stood Sam and Nelson, arms folded, smiles upon their faces as they listened to one tale after another of the man and woman who had been a rock and a guide to so many.

It was Ray's turn to speak, standing as he was unsteadily on a table, a pint in one hand while he gestured emphatically with the other. Around them their friends were smiling, some were crying from an over-abundance of nostalgia and booze. The faint barking of a lone dog on the street outside was the only other sound to be heard, aside from Robin sneezing when the bubbles from his beer went up his noise, occasional embarrassing protests from Kim's digestive system and Nelson admonishing anyone he found using his_ I Love London_ merchandise as target practice. To Alex and Gene, it was perfect. It was everything the world meant to them, all in one place.

"...But," Ray continued, "somehow you managed it. Times we nearly booked you a room..."

"You couldn't have afforded it, Carling," Gene piped up, "not on your wages."

A few laughs and cheers went up around the room as Ray carried on.

"Guv," he addressed Gene, "you were always the best at your job. We were proud to work for you. Proud to be part of the A-Team and proud to harden up that soppy southern station, too. But there's more to life than work -"

"_Like beer," _someone volunteered and Ray raised his glass.

"Can't argue with that," he said, before returning his stare to the happy couple at the bar, "Nah. Mushy stuff. Not easy to find..." he nodded to them both, "...what you two have got. We might not be with you tomorrow but we're going to be raising a glass."

"See if we can get the old idiot box working," Nelson indicated the TV in the corner.

"It'll be like the royal weddings all over again," Sam commented

"So think of us tomorrow," Ray's eyes shone with genuine happiness as he turned back to Alex and Gene, "because if we could be there, we would. And we'll be there in spirit."

"In spirit_s,_" Gene interrupted, "like all the scotch I'll have to drink to get rid of the memory of you lot."

More laughs and cheers went up at Gene's remark and Ray held out his glass.

"To Ma'am and the Guv," he said.

_"Ma'am and the Guv," _the rest of the pub cheered, toasting them for the fifth time.

"It's such a shame you're not going to be there, Ray," Alex told him.

"Why? Got a couple of nice bridesmaids you could hook me up with?" Ray asked expectantly, rubbing his hands together.

"Actually I had you pegged as the bridesmaid," Alex said innocently and watched Ray's face drop as those around them laughed.

"You what?"

"I don't have any close female friends really," Alex said, "so _someone_ needs to stand there in a pink frilly dress."

"What about the hedgehog with guts-ache?" Ray cried, jabbing a finger at Kim.

"There's more chance of getting _me_ in a pink frilly dress than_ 'er,"_ Gene scowled at Kim across the room.

"So," Alex smiled at Ray, "let's get your moustache tinted to match the material and get you fitted for a dress right away."

"Bollocks to this, sod the happy couple," Ray muttered, climbing down from the table.

"Alright, OK," Nelson began, "one more, and then I have to close up for the night," he smiled innocently, "wouldn't like the local law enforcement to think I'm opening after hours."

Sam stepped out from behind the bar and climbed onto the table, his foot slipping a little in a pool of condensation which brought laughter from the gathering.

"_Break a leg, Gladys,"_ Gene cheered.

"Alright, alright, that's enough," Sam tried to quell the cheering. He stood up carefully and looked across the pub at all the faces; the ones he knew of old, the ones he'd met in recent times, the ones he knew well, the ones he wanted to get to know better. Then he turned to Gene and Alex.

"it's a wonderful thing you do," he told them seriously, as though it was only just dawning on him, "it really is. And it always has been. But," he swallowed, "but it's even better now that you're doing it together."

_"Way-hey!"_ Ray cheered.

"Not like that!" Sam protested.

"They _are_ though," Chris chimed in.

"Yeah, all over the station," Simon blanched.

"The things we've seen," Robin howled in distress.

"Excuse me, what was that?" Alex demanded, "mister _practical-demonstration-of-new-__relationship-in-hospital-chair?"_

"_One time!" _Robin protested, "that was _one time!"_

"And all the other times in other places," Alex shuddered at the memory.

"You lot running a brothel these days?" Ray asked curiously but Sam wanted to get back on track.

"You work well. As a team. Not just... on the streets, keeping the law," he began, "but doing what you do for us. Helping us, getting us here." he looked at them very sincerely, "so keep doing it. And tomorrow," he realised he didn't have a glass to raise so he mimed holding a pretend one instead, "tomorrow... have the best day of your lives. Because you've given _us_ the best days of ours." He nodded to them. "Congratulations."

"_Congratulations!"_ the crowd cheered and whooped and clapped, surrounding Alex and Gene, shaking their hands, kissing them on their cheeks, hugging them and getting pushed away by Gene until eventually Nelson made his way to the door.

"Mon Brave, it is time to say goodbye," he told Gene, "but we're with you. All of us."

Gene nodded.

"Your beer will always be with me," he said, "in me nightmares."

Simon, Robin and Kim gathered slowly at the door with the happy couple.

"Thank you," Simon told Nelson, "thank you _so_ much for this... for _everything_.

"It was a pleasure," Nelson told him, "and besides, I do _love_ London."

"_We know," _five annoyed voices chorused as they began to make their way out of the pub. At the last moment Kim caught Nelson's eye and he gave her a wink.

"Next time, Boots," he smiled, "remember. _Just ask."_

Kim felt a shiver down her spine, a strange sensation that there was more afoot than she was privy to but this wasn't the time to ask. She simply nodded with a nervous smile, reaching for Robin's arm as they left the pub together. Simon stepped out after them and Alex and Gene followed on behind.

"_Three cheers for the Guv and Ma'am!" _someone began from back inside,_ "hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, Hooray! Hip hip -"_

But before they reached the final _hooray_ the voices faded and the pub once again vanished into the ether. With a strange sense of knowing and from the people still passing by on the streets they came to realise that barely a moment had passed out in the real world from the second they'd set foot inside of the pub.

The five figures came to stare at one another in silence. There were so many things each and every one of them wanted to say and yet no one knew how. Finally it was Gene of all people who knew exactly what he needed to say. He turned directly to Kim and held out his hand.

Kim stared at it, confused, then looked him in the eye. He was sincere. She didn't question it. Didn't dare. It was a gesture she'd not expected but slowly she reached out and shook it, nodding at him as he nodded back. The tiniest flicker of a smile graced her lips. _Acceptance. Respect_. It was something neither had thought they would feel or find for one another, but there it was. Grudging, but there.

"Tonight," Gene said stiffly, "perfect. Good work."

Kim nodded again, trying not to smile.

"Thanks, Guv," she whispered.

Gene nodded back, then belched under his breath and made a pained face.

"Now bugger off while I go and raid me medicine cabinet for indigestion stuff," he told them.

"_Yes, Guv,_" they chorused.

Before they departed, Gene turned to Simon.

"Tomorrow morning, son," he began, "I'll expect you round with a large quantity of alcohol to settle my nerves."

"Well _that's_ not going to settle _mine_," Alex said anxiously. She turned to Kim and caught her arm. "Hey," she said quietly, pulling her back a little. She smiled as Kim caught her eye. "Thank you," she said warmly, "for _everything_ tonight. It was perfect."

Beforre Kim could blunder her way through an embarrassed reply Alex folded her up in a warm hug and gently kissed her on the cheek leaving her reeling as her face reddened. She looked at Alex, slightly shocked, trying to bite back a grin and said,

"It was nothing."

"Kim, is that a blush?" Robin teased and Kim shot him a glare.

"Not if you want your backside to remain piercing-free," Kim warned.

"Goodnight, all of you," Alex smiled as she waved goodbye and departed with Gene muttering things about Spice Girls and cushions while Kim turned around and waked in a daze with Robin and Simon.

"She _is_ blushing," Simon agreed.

"I do _not blush_. It's the exertion from repetitive ice-cream spooning," Kim told him crossly, letting out an almightly burp.

"_Charming," _Simon reeled back.

"Sorry," Kim protested half-heartedly.

"That's the Kim we know," Robin commented, risking an attempted ruffle of her hair.

"There will be arse piercings all round," Kim warned, burping again and groaning. "Oh _god_, is there a late night chemist anywhere around here?"

"You still want mew to make you that steak and chips pizza when we get home?" Robin teased as Kim clutched her stomach.

"Do it and die," she warned.

The three of them linked arms and fell silent as they walked in the general direction of their homes. It had been a night full of surprises, and not just for Alex and Gene. Above all it was one none of them would forget – they had most definitely found the best wedding present ever.

~xXx~

"I hope Shoebury remembers the scotch in the morning," Gene mumbled as he and Alex walked lazily home.

"I just hope your suit still fits," Alex told him.

"I'm at me physical peak," Gene informed her.

"Well that bodes well for honeymoon night," Alex teased.

Bathed in the orange glow of the streetlight they waked, arm in arm, on their final night before their union was made complete. It had been a long journey for them both but the road ahead was as clear and simple as the rest of their walk home.

As Alex turned and caught Gene's eye, making him smirk just a little, she had to agree with the song choice Kim had made. Her time in the world had been strange and unexpected but she wouldn't have changed it for anything.

"_I've really had the time of my life,_" she whispered.


	22. Chapter 21: Morning, Moaning & Mysteries

**Chapter 21**

With birds singing outside and sunshine pouring through the window where Alex and Gene had been too tired to close the curtains the night before, the bride and groom found themselves stirring on their wedding day. Alex opened her yes slowly and found herself face to face with Gene, already awake and watching her. Not for the first time, he reminded himself - not that he was willing to admit that much out loud. But over the last decade and a half it had been a habit on those rare occasions when he'd awoken before Alex. He'd stare at her as she slept, watching her face at rest, taking note of every last detail.

"Morning, Drake," he said, his voice low as he watched her smiling. She knew full well why he'd chosen that of all the names to call her on that particular occasion.

"What are you going to call me tomorrow?" she asked, softly blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"Probably a pain in the proverbial," Gene told her as she sighed and slapped him on the arm. She felt flurries of butterflies start inside her tummy as the meaning of the day struck her head-on and she found herself snuggling closer to her groom.

"Are you nervous?" she asked him.

"The Gene Genie is never nervous," he told her, but, glancing around in case anyone should be listening in, he quickly changed his mind. "_Bloody bricking it,"_ he mumbled.

"You've done this before," she reminded him.

"Maybe that's half the problem," Gene told her. He looked her in the eye. "Didn't mean as much the last time. Not so much to be crapping meself over."

"Today's going to be perfect," Alex told him softly, "not that I'm not nervous too."

"You're committing yerself to a lifetime with me, I'd be shitting it if I were in your place,too."

Alex found herself running her fingers through Gene's hair as she smiled at him. Suddenly all the hardships they'd faced over the years; the differences between them, their lives, their past, their worlds, the time it took them to get off their backside and make a commitment – it all seemed to fade away to nothing. Nothing had ever seemed as simple. They were two people in love, that was all they needed.

"Can you believe today is here?" she whispered and Gene made a thoughtful face that looked more like he'd just stubbed his toe.

"Yes," he said eventually, "Yes, Bolly. I can believe it. It's about bloody time and all."

"Agreed," Alex smiled. She propped herself up and began to lower her legs out of bed. "isn't it supposed to be bad luck for you to see me today?" she asked.

"We've already had all the bad luck we deserve, Lady B," Gene told her, "besides, I'm not taking me eyes off you in case you get kidnapped, blown up or sent to some other bloody parallel universe."

"And you wouldn't call _those_ things bad luck?" Alex teased, pulling on her dressing gown.

"Oi," Gene frowned, "where do you think _you're_ going, future Missus Hunt?"

"To make breakfast," Alex smiled, "I thought we deserved breakfast in bed. A Gene Hunt special?" she offered, "Fried egg? Bacon? Beans?"

Gene swallowed.

"Maybe wait until the rest of the ruddy pizza decides to vacate my guts," he moaned. He eyed the remains of their previous night's shenanigans, the last night of sin that had been interrupted with the pub surprise and Alex saw a glint appear in his eye. "I'll tell you what I _might_ want though, Bols."

Alex hesitated.

"Yes?"

Gene raised his eyebrow.

"A good, healthy dollop of squirty cream."

~xXx~

"_Shit."_

Simon has said nothing but the S word from the moment he'd woken up. He said it when he set his alarm too early. He said it again after he'd hit _snooze_ and slept too late. He said it when he spilt his coffee, knocked cornflakes all over the table and burnt his finger ironing his shirt. But the last time was the most heartfelt as he caught sight of the invitation on the sideboard and lifted it slowly.

_Simon Shoebury plus guest._

It's not like the invitation hadn't been staring at him for weeks. It's not as though he hadn't already contemplated how ridiculous the '_plus guest'_ part seemed on several occasions. But for some reason that morning it truly hit him.

Gene and Alex were about to get married. A love affair across worlds and time that had a happy, fairytale ending. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Why didn't _he_ deserve the fairytale ending? He had long ago laid to rest the feelings of bitterness he harboured against Robin and Kim. He had even accepted that he no longer felt the way about Robin that he had long ago. But he still felt a lingering pang of sadness that their relationship had ended so tragically.

"Where's _my_ fairytale?" he mumbled, staring at the invite, "_Hmm?"_

He turned it over and over in his fingers, as though the answer lay upon it somewhere. The night before had really drilled it into him that his life was missing something. It wasn't just being around Alex and Gene that had shown him but watching Robin and Kim, Sam and Annie, Malcolm and Susannah... there was something different about those who'd found the love of their life. Something that Simon knew he lacked.

"Let's face it," he mumbled, "there's not exactly a queue of bachelors lining up outside my door, _is_ there?" The knock that sounded as he finished his sentence made him jump out of his skin and his eyes bolted. "Shit," his heart was pounding. The timing couldn't have been any more ironic. Who was it? Was the postman going to be his true love? Maybe it was the milkman? "_Coming," _he called half-heartedly, plodding through his flat in a pair of pyjamas that he wasn't sure he wanted to be seen in.

He reached the door and opened it wide but there was no one waiting outside. He looked down, expecting a parcel or a bottle of milk but bound nothing but a lone carnation lying there. Frowning, he scooped down to pick it up and turned it over and over in his hands. "What the hell's _this?"_ he wondered. Was it his corsage? He thought he was picking that up when he met Gene before the wedding. It hadn't even been prepared. It was a strange sight indeed. "Gene?" he called experimentally as he heard the downstairs door closing. "_Shit_..." there was that word again.

Something felt strange. He wasn't sure why but the whole thing didn't sit right. He rushed back inside and through his flat to peer out of the window where all he caught was a flash of someone running, flowers flying left, right and centre in their wake. "What the_ hell?"_ Simon threw his hands in the air in bewilderment. "the phantom flower arranger of _Fenchurch?!"_

He stared at the carnation again, turning it around in his fingers. Whatever had happened, it left a strange tingle down his spine that wasn't going to let him forget about it in a hurry.

~xXx~

Robin waited for the flushing of the toilet, folded his arms and watched Kim slink ashamedly back into the bedroom.

"Good morning," he said, trying to look stern but the little smirk started to get in the way.

"_Morning,"_ Kim mumbled crawling into bed, "can't say there's much good about it."

"Except for the quality time you've spent with the bathroom suite," Robin teased and Kim moaned.

"Yeah, I get it, last night wasn't my wisest move," she mumbled, pulling she sheets over her head, "at least I won, and that's the main thing."

"You can't stay under the covers all day," Robin told her.

"_I've been having nightmares about giant bowls of ice cream all night,"_ Kim's voice came from beneath the covers, "_I'm in hiding."_

"It's the wedding today," Robin pointed out, "you'll need to come out of hiding if you want to give Alex away."  
_  
"Maybe I don't,"_ Kim mumbled, _"I'll just have to keep her."_

"She's relying on you," Robin prodded the Kim-lump.

"_I'm ninety-two percent ice-cream, I'm unreliable,"_ she moaned, "_ow!"_

"And besides," Robin found himself flushing a little, "I want to see how you'll look in a tux."

The tone of his voice pulled Kim's head out from under the covers.

"You do?" she watched him nodding and pulling the duvet over his legs as the thought of Kim in a tux had rather a profound effect. "Oh, you _do_," she raised her eyebrow.

"So you'll _have_ to get up," Robin told her, "you need to get into the suit," he coughed, "so that _I_ can get you _out_ of it."

Kim blushed and coughed a little before groaning and sliding back against the pillows.

"I'll have a job getting into it," she groaned, "my stomach's bloated to the size of a beach ball."

"That's because there's five pounds of bloody ice cream in your system," Robin told her.

"Not in my system any more," Kim mumbled, looking a little green.

"Come here," Robin sighed, wrapping an arm around her. He attempted to offer a soothing stomach rub which she batted away in embarrassment.

"Don't worry, I've learnt my lesson," she sighed.

"No you haven't."

"I _have!"_

"Yeah, _today_ you have," Robin began, "then next week Gene will say something and you'll say something back and then next thing you know you'll be racing to be the first one to steal the ladle off the woman in the canteen or the loofah out of Geoff's pocket!"

_"Well," _Kim said crossly, "he just gets me riled up!"

"Or _you_ get _him_ riled up," Robin shook his head, "you're as bad as each other." They fell silent, leaning against one another, enjoying the feeling of lying in each other's arms until finally the number on the alarm clock told them their lie-in was over.

"_Ohhh," _Kim groaned, "can't we just stay here? Get Gene and Alex to marry in the car park or something?"

"Not sure they'd be up for that," robin told her, he stroked back her hair and noticed she still seemed very pale. "Kim? Are you OK?"

"Apart from the war-zone in my stomach?" Kim mumbled.

"You've been feeling off all week."

Kim shrugged tiredly.

"Think I might be coming down with something," she said, "and it's been a stressful one."

"Yeah, you've got that right," Robin sighed. He sat up a little straighter. "Alright. Up. Shower. Breakfast. Then tux time."

Kim saw a glint in his eye. She wasn't sure the tux would be staying on for very long.

"Exactly how long have we got before this wedding...?"

~xXx~

"I thought weddings were supposed to be stressful," Gene remarked as he and Alex sat at the kitchen table late in the morning, munching on Latte Land bagels and drinking bucks fizz.

"We had two dead vicars in one _week_," Alex reminded him, "if that's not stressful then I don't know what is!"

"Aren't you supposed to be having a meltdown, yelling at hairdressers for ruining yer barnet and watching bridesmaids pull each other's hair out?" Gene asked.

"Well, I've not got a hairdresser and I've not got any bridesmaids," Alex pointed out, "the worst that's going to happen is that Robin might poke himself in the eye with his eye-liner or Simon might give us a lecture on fidelity and the sanctity of marriage," she paused and frowned, "or you and Kim might get into an eat-the-most-tiers-of-the-wedding-cake competition." she shuddered, "_please_ don't do that."

"I'll try me best," Gene told her as he finished the last bite of bagel. For a relationship and an engagement that had been fraught with problems and obstacles their wedding day so far had been the most peaceful and relaxing day they'd probably ever had. They'd relaxed so completely that it came as a complete surprise when the doorbell went for the flowers to arrive.

"Gene?" Alex said quietly as she lifted the last piece of her bagel.

"No, I'm not going to race Metal Mickey down the aisle if that's what you're worried about," Gene told her and Alex sighed.

"No," she said patiently, "that wasn't my question."

"What was it then?" Gene asked.

"Do you wish we'd done this sooner?"

Gene stared a Alex and thought for a while until eventually he shook his head.

"I think you're converting me to this _everything happens for a reason _bollocks," he told her, "if we'd done this ten years ago everything would be different," he sighed, "and we wouldn't know what we've got."

Alex nodded slowly. He was right, he was absolutely right. If they'd done this ten, even just _five_ years ago they'd never have lived through all those months apart or been through the changes that had brought them even closer together

"You can be quite profound when you like, Gene," she commented.

"A profound lack of _booze_ in me glass," Gene mumbled, trying to avoid her compliment, "fill it up Bols, we've got a toast to make."

"Didn't we get enough of those last night?" Alex asked, pouring more bubbly for them both.

"That's different, _I'm_ making this one," Gene told her.

"Oh?" Alex lifted her glass, "go on then, surprise me, what are we drinking to?"

Gene raised his and held it close to hers.

"To fruitcakes from the future," he said, "especially the ones that agree to being my wife."

Alex felt a smile grow across her face as she clinked her glass to his.

"And to bullets in the head that lead straight to the tunnel of love."

"Steady on, Bols," Gene grimaced, "I was profound, you were just tacky!"

"I think we've spent too long in each other's company," Alex smiled and Gene shook his head,

"Nope," he said, "_never_ too long." he slurped his drink. "Cheers, Bollyknickers."

Alex smiled, her eyes shining.

_"Cheers, Guv,_" she said.


	23. Chapter 22: Flirts, Flowers & Fried Eggs

**Chapter 22**

Kim stared at her reflection in the mirror, adjusting her lapels and pushing back her slicked spikes. She felt a strange sensation as she stared on, something unfamiliar to her. It was the feeling of liking what she saw. Her hand rose slowly to her ear and skimmed every stud along its edge, making sure none were missing then slowly she turned around and called for Robin.

"Rob?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Can I borrow your eyeliner?"

There was a pause as Robin sought out the requested item and he emerged in the doorway, frozen in an instant by the sight of Kim. His mouth dropped open just a little and he gave an audible gasp as he finally managed to step forward.

"_Kim," _he breathed, "you look," he couldn't even find the words to express it, "_incredible_. Unbelievable." He could see Kim smiling back as he approached, a look in her eyes that he rarely saw. "How do you feel?"

Kim couldn't lie, even thigh the answer didn't come naturally to her.

"I feel good," she said, unable to fight the smile.

Robin was suddenly right there before her, his hands around her waist, edging a little closer, pulling her against him.

"Promise me something?" he murmured close to her ear in a voice that let her know they were going to struggle to stay dressed until after the wedding.

"What?" she whispered.

"_When we get married," _Robin whispered, "_I want you in a tux." _Kim felt her legs weaken below her. She moved back a little so she could look Robin in the eye.

"I'm sure it can be arranged," she breathed. She found herself moving closer as her eyes closed and her lips gently brushed his, eliciting a groan from Robin as he wanted so much more than a kiss.

"God, why do you have to be so irresistible?" he moaned.

"Rob! What's gotten into you"? Kim wasn't used to hearing Robin speak in such a way. She could feel for herself that he meant every word as he pressed his body gently against her. It made her close her eyes and moan softly while her mind began to work out how much time they had before they had to leave but the sound of the buzzer broke the moment and they pulled apart, somewhat accusingly.

"_Bloody Simon!"_ she cried, "he's _early!"_

"Oh _god_, how am I supposed to hide_ this?"_ Robin complained, hands down his pants, attempting to hide the evidence. As he was about to leave the bedroom Kim caught his hand and pulled him back.

"_Later,_" she whispered, "_after the ceremony." _Her smile told him everything else that he needed to know. He grasped her face in his hands and pulled her closer for another kiss but the buzzer sounded again and the kiss ended with a groan.

"_Bloody Simon,_" Robin agreed, "I'd better let him in." He fished the eyeliner from his pocket and handed it to Kim. "I'll need that back in a few minutes,"

"No problem," Kim smiled as Robin left, mumbling to himself about helping Kim out of her suit and installing a Simon-delaying forcefield in the future.

Kim turned back to the mirror, still strangely happy with her reflection. Could she get away with wearing a tux for work, she wondered. Probably not, not in a place where Bammo kept an endless supply of water balloons anyway. She quickly applied the eyeliner followed by a touch of lipstick. She wore lipstick so rarely that it took about three attempts to do it right. She could hear vague murmurs of discontent from outside, something about Simon wishing he could have just worn his jumper and wondering why Robin was standing awkwardly and then some random comments about a really crappy flower.

"What is even going _on_ today?" she muttered to herself, laying down her make up. She looked at the full effect in the mirror and pulled at the waistband of her trousers, glad the lay of the jacket covered a multitude of sins. "_Bloody ice cream,"_ she mumbled. She was still feeling off-colour if she was honest. She didn't have much of a chance to think about it before Robin returned, caught sight of Kim and started smiling again.

"I only just managed to calm down," he whispered, "god knows how we're going to get through this wedding."

"What's gotten _into_ you today?" Kim whispered as Robin approached her, "you're worse than Alex in her high libido phase!" Before she could say anything else she found Robin's lips pressed against hers again as he kissed her deeply, pulling her body close and holding her tightly. She felt quite breathless as he finally let her go and stepped back. Kim smirked slightly. "I wasted my time with that lipstick, there's more on you now," she said as Robin turned to glance in the mirror, blushing a little as his fingers rose to his lips.

"Sorry," he said quietly, smiling shyly as he reached for a tissue but Kim took it out of his hand and turned his face towards her.

"Wait," she said, picking up the subtle lipstick and holding it out.

"What -" Robin began but found himself silenced as she pressed it to his lips and carefully applied it.

"There," she said with a little smile, "it looks better on you, anyway."

Robin could feel his face flushing as he turned around to look in the mirror again. He coughed a little and tried to keep his smile under control as he quietly agreed.

"It actually does," he said softly.

"Here," Kim handed him back his eyeliner, "don't forget this"

"Thanks," Robin smiled.

"_What's going on in there?" _Simon's voice called out.

"Nothing," Robin called back.

"Make up master-class," Kim added and they turned to each other with a little laugh. She plucked a tissue from the box and began to clean up her smeared lips to reapply the make-up. By the time Kim and Robin finished getting ready they could hear Simon mumbling about them taking their time and considering setting off the smoke alarm to get them moving.

"He'd better bloody not do," Kim declared as they exited the bedroom.

_"Finally,"_ Simon greeted them, throwing his hands in the air.

"Woo, you look smart," Kim told him.

Simon looked down at his suit and smoothed out his shirt a little.

"Thanks," he said, a little surprised by her compliment, "and you look..." a frown descended upon his brow as he stared at Kim in her tux and Robin wearing lipstick, "...confusing," he concluded, "what the hell are you wearing?"

"I'm giving Alex away," Kim said indignantly, "I've got to look smart."

"What about him and the stupid..." Simon could barely get his words out, _"lip thing?!"_

"Simon, please, stop freaking out," Robin urged him, "it's only a little bit, you can hardly _see_ it!"

"And how was this lip... _stuff_... applied?" Simon demanded, "from a lipstick or from Kim's mouth?

"Erm," Kim blushed.

"Bit of both," Robin admitted.

"I knew you were taking longer than necessary," Simon scowled.

"Oh Simon, _relax_," Kim groaned, "it's not like we were bonking."

"More's the pity," Robin muttered just loud enough to earn him a glare from Simon.

"Look, no fighting," Kim announced loudly, "let's just get our stuff together, get out of here and head over to – _what the hell's wrong with that flower?_" she cut herself off, pointing at a half-dead carnation poking out of Simon's button hole. Simon glanced down.

"Isn't it my corsage?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Kim frowned, "I'm getting mine from Alex and Gene."

"I thought they left it at my door this morning," Simon shook his head, "I _knew_ there was something weird going on."

"What -" Kim began but decided it was best not to ask. "No, got to get moving," she said, "come on, everyone, let's go."

Robin grasped her hand and halted her momentarily.

_"_Hey_,"_ he said quietly, "the next time we come back here Gene and Alex will be married."

"I know," Kim said quietly, "weird, isn't it?"

"Just a bit," Robin felt quite sentimental as he thought about the times they'd fought to help Alex get back home. He found Kim holding his hand and smiled gratefully. So much history had passed between all of them that there were more emotions tired up in that one wedding than they'd realised.

"Come on," Kim said again, "let's go. Let's see them tie the knot." She sighed as they headed to the door. "It's been a long time coming."

~xXx~

By the time the bell went Alex and Gene had just about lost track of time.

"That had better be Shoebury with my bloody dutch courage," he mumbled as Alex got to her feet and left the kitchen, pulling her robe around her.

"Time to get ready," she said a little unnecessarily, hurrying along the hallway. She reached the door and opened it to find Simon, Robin and Kim standing on the doorstep, all dressed up like they were ready for a school photo. "Good morning," she greeted them, her attention quite suddenly caught by Kim, "well," she said, "don't _you_ scrub up well?" she noticed that Kim instantly reddened and looked down, trying not to smile.

"Thanks, ma'am," she said awkwardly.

"_Kim blush alert, Kim blush alert,_" Simon announced like a siren and found himself with a sudden sore foot. "Ow! _Kim!"_

"Whoops," Kim said innocently.

"Come in," Alex hurried them through, "I don't want to stand in the doorway in a dressing gown all morning."

"At least _you're_ wearing it instead of Ge-" Robin began as Alex herded them into the kitchen but froze at the unexpected sight of Gene sitting at the table in boxers.

"Oh god, _no,"_ Kim cried, covering her eyes.

"Gene!" Simon cried.

"Come off it, Shoebury, like you've never seen a pair of underpants before," Gene huffed.

"They're the same ones he wore yesterday!" Kim whimpered, remembering the post-ice cream incident.

"This is so embarrassing," Simon cried, half covering his face.

"That's not what you would have said a couple of years ago," Kim blurted without thinking, slapping her hand over her mouth a moment too late.

"_I didn't know I got half my DNA from the contents of those boxers back then!_" Simon cried, his face bright red. He glanced at Robin. "_Stop staring!"_

"I _wasn't!" _Robin protested, mouth open in outrage.

"You _were!"_

"I was doing no such thing!"

"I know you've got a thing for blondes but -"

"_Simon!"_ Robin cried, humiliated and outraged, "Stop talking! For the love of god, stop talking!"

"I'm not having the bloody Fenchurch East rainbow brigade ogling my joy department," Gene said in horror, jumping up and stomping out in search of trousers.

"No one was ogling!" Robin protested.

"Especially not me," Kim clutched her stomach, "oh my god, I did _not_ need that this morning!"

"Are you still feeling off-colour?" Robin asked a little worriedly.

"I thought that would have been blindingly obvious from the orchestral works coming out of her stomach in the car all the way," Simon accused leaving Kim staring open-mouthed and mortified.

"_Simon," _she cried, aghast, wanting to shrink into the carpet.

"Maybe you shouldn't challenge Gene to eating contests in future."

"Maybe _Gene_ should remember to put on _pants_ in the future!" Kim retorted.

"_Oi!" _Gene boomed, returning with trousers and pulling on a shirt, "this is _my_ wedding day and if anyone's going to have a barney it's going to be _me_ with _you_ -" he turned to Simon, "if you stand by my side with that dead daisy in yer buttonhole!"

"What?" Simon glanced down at the flower, "it's a carnation!"

"I don't care if it's a bloody venus _fly_ trap, get that out and shove the real thing in." Gene shoved a box across the table to Simon and opened the lid. Inside were a small bouquet and three corsages.

_"Oh,"_ Simon looked at him, blinking in surprise, "so this really _wasn't_ from you?"

"Why would I be giving you dead flowers?"

"it wasn't dead this morning!"

"Where did it come from"? Alex asked and Simon found himself lost for words. Suddenly he was back to the confusing explanation. He shook his head slowly.

"I have no idea," he said quietly. A strange silence fell for a moment until finally Alex piped up,

"Well, as nice as this discussion of dead flowers and boxer shorts has been it's time to get ready." She turned to Kim. "Would you come and help me into my dress?"

Kim's expression changed as fast as someone watching their lottery numbers come up. She scrambled to Alex's side, almost tripping over her feet on the way.

"_Yes, Ma'am,"_ she said quickly, glancing back at Gene smugly.

"Uh oh," Simon could see fireworks about to begin as Gene folded his arms and called Kim back.

"Stringer?" she hesitated and glanced back, "Remember, robo-features, you might be helping her into her dress, but _I'll_ be the one helping her _out_ of it."

The smug look upon his face and the slow, seething scowl that filled Kim's features made Robin and Simon consider running for cover. They expected Kim to explode in Gene's face, or for a fistfight to break out in front of them but thankfully Alex's voice called an end tot he stand-off.

"_Kim!"_

"Coming," Kim left Gene with one more scowl before exiting the room. There was a moment of silence, then she suddenly came hurrying back in, faced Gene and said,

"Yeah, but you never said anything about her not helping me out of my suit," then maturely wrinkled up her nose, stuck out her tongue and shot out of the room before Gene had the right of reply. He clenched his fists, mumbled a lot of choice words and made vague threats about swapping Kim for a Spice Girl. Simon thought his head was about to explode and couldn't take much more.

"_So," _he announced loudly, "_how about those flowers, hmm?"_

"Great, corsage distraction techniques," Robin sighed

"Anything to get rid of that dead dandelion," Gene huffed and Simon frowned.

"_Hey!"_

"Can we _please_ postpone world war three until at least the reception?" Robin begged.

The time was moving on and the unrest settled as the wedding party prepared for the big moment. It had been a weird week and a strange morning. The best, however, was still to come.


	24. Chapter 23: Love, Lipstick & Lingerie

**Chapter 23**

Alex stared into the mirror. Her reflection stared back, dressed in simple, elegant silk in a shade just a step away from white. The subtle bead work on the bodice caught the light every now and then while the soft material felt like heaven against her skin. There was a twitch of a nervous smile and a twinkling of emotional, unfallen tears in her eyes. Sometimes it had felt as though the day would never come. She remembered telling Simon the day he arrived in 1995 that marriage was a sore point. How much had things changed since then?

She glanced back over her shoulder at Kim.

"You seem to be taking rather a long time doing up that zip," she commented and Kim gave a very un-Kim-like giggle.

"Sorry," she blushed, "admiring the bridal lingerie," she added a little sheepishly.

Alex felt the zip rising as the dress fastened at last, then Kim's face appeared around the side of her in the mirror. "Ma'am, you look absolutely beautiful," she whispered, her face flushing all over.

"I think you might be biased," she told Kim but Alex had to admit that she felt it, too. She smoothed down her dress and checked her reflection from both sides to make sure nothing was amiss. The dress was just perfect in every way. The only thing she'd been looking forward to more than wearing it was disrobing afterwards.

"Ma'am?" Kim's tone was thoughtful and quiet suddenly as Alex glanced around.

"Hmm?"

"What was your first wedding like?"

that question took Alex by surprise. It wasn't a subject that had even passed through her mind that day, strangely. It was weird but in a way it felt like this was the first time she would be getting married. She almost didn't register that Peter had ever been a part of her life.

"I suppose it was exactly what you'd expect," she said with a sigh, "the big, traditional wedding. Invited every single person I knew. Huge reception." she laughed a little, "huge _dress_. Big line of bridesmaids, looking like a row of blancmanges. Making a huge deal about the day because," she flinched as the truth hit her, "because the relationship... the _relationship_ wasn't everything I wanted it to be. So I tried to make up for that with my dream wedding." She took a deep breath. "Evan threw a lot of money at the event."

"Sounds about right," Kim rolled her eyes.

"I just tried to do what was expected of me, I suppose. Have the big, white wedding, the new house, the new baby..." her eyes turned down as she shook her head, "and then it all fell apart, little by little until all I had left was Molly." Alex felt her heart breaking. She would have done anything for her daughter to be there with her that day, whether she was 16 year old Molly or 26 year old Kay, Alex longed for her presence. She took heart from her confidence that one day Molly would be back. Then at the very least she could tell her daughter every detail of the day.

"Ma'am?" Kim had another question.

"Yes?"

"If you weren't married for very long," Kim hesitated, "why did you keep your married name all these years?"

Alex gave another deep sigh as she turned back to the mirror and watched Kim's nervously curious expression.

"I suppose in the beginning it was denial," she said quietly, "I thought things would change. I thought Peter would come back and we would be a happy family again. And then as time went on..." she closed her eyes momentarily. "Do you know, I _did_ change back, just for a while. Or I _tried_ to." she turned around to face Kim, "but I'd started my career in the police force by then and Alex Price was a name they knew. When I was _Alex Drake_ I was a person in my own right. But as _Alex Price _I was just '_Tim and Caroline Price's daughter_' or _'that poor girl'._" She shook her head. "It was easier for people not to know."

Kim nodded slowly.

"That's almost exactly what Kay said," she whispered, slightly shaking her head. "_Molly._"

Alex gave her a soft smile.

"I know," she whispered. The parallels between mother and daughter were quite amazing. Alex could feel herself tearing up and didn't want to spoil her make-up so she tried to change the subject quick;y. She noticed something amiss and tactfully handed Kim a tissue.

"What -?"

Kim began.

"Your lipstick's smudged," Alex told her.

_"Shit,"_ Kim frowned, turning to the mirror, "that's the second time today. Is it any wonder I don't wear the bloody stuff any more?"

Alex sat down and began to fiddle with a pair of earrings as Kim stared tidying up her lipstick. She watched her in the mirror for a few moments before a curious question playing on her mind decided to escape.

"How about yours, Kim?" she asked quietly.

Kim wasn't sure if she'd missed the question.

"Hmm? My what?" she asked, wiping the smudges.

"Your first wedding," Alex said a little awkwardly. She saw a pained look in Kim's eyes that appeared quite instantaneously. She had more or less expected that. She felt terrible for asking but as Kim had asked first she thought it was the best opportunity she had, and she'd always wondered. "Sorry," she said quietly, "if it's too difficult -"

"No, no, that's OK," Kim lowered the tissue and tried to smile but even she could see how false and weak it looked. Taking a deep breath, she looked to Alex who turned around to meet her eye. "It was the polar opposite of yours, Ma'am. Which is... ironic, really, since the same reasons were more or less behind it." She looked down. "I knew things weren't as they were supposed to be. Not really. But ever since I went back I'd felt that way. Numb... cold... I thought I'd lost the ability to love someone. To actually love someone _properly_. So I thought what I had with Linda was as good as it was going to get. That's why we didn't have a big wedding. It was... like a business meeting. Most things in our relationship _were_." She sighed as she looked back at Alex. "The two of us in more or less our normal clothes... a couple of witnesses from work... I was estranged from my family," she shook her head sadly, "I didn't have any friends. Just colleagues. Getting married made sense. We wanted to make our relationship official so that we would have all the rights of married couples. We both wanted children..." a truth dawned on Kim that was difficult to bear, "i just... I just don't think we really wanted them with each other." She flinched. "Maybe that's what it was all about. We both wanted a kind of idyllic family life. And we had our moments, ma'am, I'm not denying that. I loved her, for a time but I-I was never really _in_ love with her." Her smile was weak. "It took meeting Rob to see that."

Alex laid her fingers gently against Kim's hand.

"Then," she told her gently, "when it's your turn you'll feel the same way I feel today," she hesitated for a moment as she tried to find the best way to describe it. "You'll know how right it is."

Kim nodded slowly as her smile grew warmer.

"Yeah," she whispered, feeling butterflies inside of her as she thought about it. She and Robin hadn't reached the point of setting a date but they both knew it would happen sooner or later. They'd been through so much to be together that for now they were still just grateful to wake up in the same bed every morning. But one day this would be the two of them, preparing for the big day. She was surprised by how the image brought a glow to her cheeks.

"You're _blushing_ again," Alex teased, "what on earth has happened to Kim Stringer?"

"I don't _know!" _Kim protested, laughing with embarrassment, "I don't know, I can't _help_ it!" she smiled as she saw Alex laughing too. "It's one of those days. And if you mention it to anyone -"

"You can pierce my arse if you want, I'm the bride and it's my prerogative to tease you today!"

"Just you wait, Ma'am, I'll be lurking with a needle when you least expect it," Kim smiled as Alex stood up and checked her reflection one last time. Her dress was perfect, her hair immaculate and her make-up just right. She started to feel her pulse going up. It was a day she'd sometimes thought would never come but now it was here, it was time for her to take it with both hands and enjoy every last moment.

"Come on, Kim," she said quietly, "let's go."

Kim felt strangely proud of Alex as she got to her feet. She supposed after seeing her desperate fight to get home on not one but two occasions she had more of a sense than most how important the day was to her.

"Let's go," she repeated, following Alex to the doorway.

"Erm, Kim," Alex began tactfully.

"Hmm?"

Alex hesitantly indicated Kim's trousers.

"_You're undone,_" she whispered tactfully and Kim flushed, yanking up the zip.

"_Shit!" _she cursed. She really _was_ turning into a female Gene.

~xXx~

"Gene -"

"No."

"_Gene!"_

"_No!"_

"Gene, listen!"

"Batman, I can tie me own flipping bow-tie, you can keep yet clown face away from me!"

"_Clown_ face?" Robin cried.

"Someone's painted on a bleedin' smile!" Gene accused.

"it's only a bit of lipstick," Robin protested.

"I can just about handle the eye gunk, but if you start walking round my station with a Ronald McDonald gob on you then I'm coming after you with a flannel and some turps!"

"You don't need _turpentine_ to get make up off!" Robin cried in horror.

"You do on that blue stuff Bolly used to wear," Gene mumbled, making his fifteenth attempt at typing his bow tie.

"Gene, corsage," Simon interrupted, shoving a prepared rose buttonhole under his nose.

"Watch the thorns on that, Shoe-Boy!" Gene growled crossly, flinging his bow tie across the room.

"_Hey!"_ cried Robin, "I offered to help you with that!"

"Corsage," Simon said again and Gene snatched it from his hand.

"_Stop saying corsage!"_ he barked.

"_Take_ it then!"

"I already have done!"

"Oh," Simon blinked, forgetting what was going on for a moment. He sighed and shook his head. "Alright. Do you need any help fixing it?"

"Am I bloody incompetent now or something?" Gene demanded.

"I'm only trying to _help!"_ Simon protested.

"I don't need a team of fluffers fiddling with me bits and bobs on my wedding day!" Gene cried.

"I don't think _fluffers_ is the term you're looking for," Simon cringled.

Robin peered into the box of flowers.

"Where's mine?" he asked.

"You don't get one, dog-breath," Gene told him.

"Why not?" cried Robin.

"You're not in the wedding party."

"I'm at the wedding though!" Robin cried.

"Not good enough!"

"That's not fair!" Robin's brow creased.

"That's life, _Mister Stringer!" _Gene barked.

"Can't I be, like, an usher or something?"

"If you wanted to be Usher you should have sung _You Make Me Wanna_ at Bask last night," Gene told him.

"Not the bloody singer!" Robin threw his hands in the air, "oh, what's the use?"

"_Ahem?" _

Never had an argument ended so swiftly. The sound of Alex clearing her throat grasped Gene's attention in an instant. He felt as though time stopped and the rest of the world ceased just for a moment as he stared at her in the doorway; delicate material clinging to every curve of her body.

"_B-bugger me, Bols,_ you're a sight for sore eyes," he breathed, wishing there was a cushion in the near vicinity. He found himself moving towards her without even knowing he was about to. He couldn't help it, he needed a loser look. He needed to be closer, full stop. He looked her in the eye, then scanned her up and down to take in every last detail of her appearance. He struggled to find the words to express the way he felt right there and then. It wasn't just the sight of her, the beautiful woman in the stunningly elegant dress, but he felt quite overwhelmed by the whole situation as the wedding became very, very real.

She clasped his hands and looked him in the eye.

"Are you ready to take me up the aisle?" she asked with a little glint in her eye.

"I'll do more than that," Gene mumbled, desperately wishing for that cushion. He found himself gulping as he looked at her. He'd rarely seen her looking more beautiful. He'd rarely wanted her so intensely. And although Gene Hunt did not _do_ girly feelings, right there and then was the closest he was going to get. He swallowed again and struggled to regain his composure. "Oi. Rainbow Brigade, Give me a minute with me wife-to-be, would you?"

"We're about ready," Kim said, "We'll head out to Simon's car."

"_Corsage," _Simon interrupted, jamming one under her nose which she snatched with extreme prejudice.

"You'll be wearing a corsage of your own fingers if you do that to me again!" she cried.

"_Out,"_ Gene demanded and the three of them made a speedy exit.

Alex looked him in the eye, smiling. That was a smile that melted Gene right there and then on the spot. He found himself pressing his forehead to hers, pulling her a little closer, feeling the body heat as she almost seemed to glow from head to toe with happiness.

"Well?" she prompted after Gene had been silent for a few moments, "I thought you wanted a private word with your wife to be."

"That's before I looked down yer Grand Canyon-worth of cleavage and now my underpants and doing the talking for me," Gene mumbled, "do we have to go through a whole ceremony, can't we get to the fun honeymoon bits?" A playful slap from Alex on his arm made him smirk a little. He drew back to catch her eye. "_Ohhh, Bols,"_ he sighed, "here we are."

Ale nodded, her face a wild and wonderful mix of emotion.

"_We are,_" she whispered.

Gene found himself moving slowly from side to side as he slipped his arms around her waist. His heart was thumping harder than Robin playing on his baked bean drum kit.

"I didn't feel like this before my first wedding," he told her.

"Like what?"

"Horny," his first instinct was to joke but even despite Alex's smirk he knew it wasn't going to wash. "_Happy_." he nodded. "_Right_."

Alex's smile wobbled as her eyes glistened, full of tears she was determined not to lose.

"I know," she whispered, "me too." She hesitated as she played a little with his shirt. "And... the first thing, too," she smiled.

"Bloody knew it," Gene told her.

Alex could have stared at Gene forever, taking in the moment, the moment that years together had built slowly towards. A part of her wanted to. She never wanted to forget a moment, or one single detail of his expression. Eventually she knew that they would have to go. She stepped back and patted his crisp shirt against his chest.

"Now," she whispered, "where's that bow tie?"

"On the floor, in the corner," Gene grumbled, "We had a difference of opinion."

Alex gave a sigh, trying not to smile, and peered around the room until she saw it.

"Honestly, Gene," she sighed, "come here."

She grasped the bow tie and pulled it around his neck, tying it up properly for him and looking him in the eye. Her hand reached up to brush his cheek as she smiled with a deep contentment she'd rarely felt in her life. "There."

And that was it. That was the moment Gene knew with one hundred percent certainty that it was about to happen. He was about to marry her;_ Alex. Bolly. Bols. Lady B. _the woman who had worked by his side for the best part of two decades, who'd _lain_ by his side for most of those years. Who loved his world in ways that no one else ever had. Who drank with him on a night out, talked with him over dinner, woke with him every morning and took him to bed every night.

"_Thank you,_" the words escaped before he could stop them.

Alex looked at him curiously.

"What for?" she asked quietly.

Gene swallowed. There were so many reasons he'd said it, he had so much to thank her for ..._For coming to my world. For staying. For jumping from that window. For staying by my side. For fighting to stay. For fighting to get home. For saying yes. For standing here right now with me... _But when it came down to it, Gene might have changed a lot over the years but some things were just too much to admit to.

"Tying me dicky-bow," he said quietly, "I made a complete pig's ear of it."

Alex smiled softly.

"My pleasure," she whispered.

They stared at one another in silence again, so many things to say and yet no words seemed enough until finally Gene grasped her hand.

"Right," he began, "let's go, Lady B. It's time to make an honest woman of you."

"You'll need more than a wedding for that after some of the things we've done in the station," Alex commented cheekily.

Gene smirked internally. That was his Alex. He liked to think he'd changed _her_ a little bit too.

Hands clasped together, the pair walked through their house for one last time as two single people. Their moment had finally arrived.


	25. Chapter 24: Drive, Drink & Damn Nerves

**Chapter 24**

"Oh_ finally!"_ Simon tapped his foot impatiently as Gene and Alex finally left their house, "I thought you'd decided to consummate the marriage early!"

"That's a thought," Gene raised an eyebrow at Alex who considered for a moment.

"I was only _joking!"_ Simon cried, "come on, we have to _go!"_

"Calm your flapping trap, we're going now," Gene told him as he opened the passenger door of the Aston Martin, "Come on, Lady B. your carriage awaits."

Robin bit his lip as he watched them.

"You know, this isn't right," he said.

"A virile bachelor such as me taking myself off the market for good?" Gene asked, "Yeah, thought had crossed my mind too, Batman."

"No," Robin rolled his eyes, "you and Alex driving to the chapel together."

"I'm not going to crash into the graveyard on the way," Gene scowled.

"_No!"_ Robin cried, "I mean... it's not really traditional, is it?"

"What part of the time travelling fiance set-up _is_ traditional?" Gene countered.

"Look, you didn't spend night apart, you've seen each other on the day of the wedding, you could at _least_ arrive separately," Robin told them.

"What's the point of that?" Gene frowned.

"You're supposed to be surprised when Alex walks down the aisle!" Robin cried.

"It's not much of a bloody surprise, is it?" barked Gene, "I know we're getting married! I know who I'm marrying! When Bols walks down the aisle it won't be a surprise, it'll be the one thing I'll be _expecting!"_

"That's not what I mean!"

"It's not like I think I'm going for a bloody funeral!" Gene huffed.

"_Gene!"_

"_What?"_

Robin sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Nothing," he gave up eventually, "just forget it."

"He _is_ right," said Kim began, "just driving together... it's like you're just going to work or something."

To their surprise, Alex spoke up.

"Actually," she began quietly, "it _is_ a rather nice tradition. The bride arriving after the groom," she looked at Gene with a smile, "can't you picture it, Gene? You'll be there at the front of the chapel with Simon, threatening to kill him for any one of ten assorted things, throwing him against the pulpit -"

"Hey!" Simon scowled.

"- When suddenly, there I am and you'll know the wedding is about to begin." She looked at Gene with slightly fluttering eyelashes. "wouldn't you like that, Gene?"

Gene hesitated.

"And then the whole church will turn and marvel at what a classy bird I caught."

"Well that's one way of putting it," Alex sighed.

Gene thought to himself for a moment. He just hadn't even thought about the car situation. It hadn't really figured in his mind. He just assumed they were travelling together. He looked at Alex, then back at his car and drummed his fingers on the roof for a moment before he finally nodded.

"Alright, Bols," he finally decided, "you've got a deal."

Simon opened his passenger door.

"Alex?" he began, "you can come with us."

"Hold on," Gene scowled, "no way is me bride travelling to church in the official vehicle of the Fenchurch East Rainbow Brigade!

"_Gene!"_ cried Simon.

"Besides, if we had an official vehicle we'd need a mini-bus," Robin commented.

"Try a coach," Kim added.

"Gene, it's _fine,"_ Alex smiled, "isn't it better _I_ ride with them than you?" she raised an eyebrow.

"A posh bride needs to arrive in style," Gene told her. He stared at the car keys in his hand, then reluctantly held them towards her. "You'd better take me other woman."

"You're letting me drive the Aston Martin?" Alex thought she was about to have a heart attack.

"No, wait," Simon shook his head, "the bride's not supposed to drive herself, she's supposed to be chauffeured!"

"Since when did the department of shitty laws release these guidelines about brides and cars?" Gene barked, "Bride. Car. Church. It's not rocket science!"

"I'll drive her," Simon offered.

"No you bloody won't," Gene held his keys protectively, "I wouldn't lend you a pair of _rollerskates!"_ he stared at the keys in his hand, then glanced at Alex, and finally his sights rested on Kim. He took a deep breath, scarcely able to believe he was about to say what he was about to say. "Stringer. _Catch."_ he tossed the keys in her direction and somehow she managed to grasp them.

"What?" she blinked in confusion.

"I suppose me Fiat's not looking in bad shape," he grunted, "you're the best man for the job."

Kim tried very hard not to smirk as she looked at the keys.

"Oh," she said, trying to work out whether it was some kind of trap, "Thanks, Guv. I won't let you down."

"_One smear_ on her and there will be fling cabinets," Gene warned.

"I won't damage your car," Kim frowned.

"I was talking about me bride," Gene told her and Kim rolled her eyes.

"Alright," she conceded, "I've had my fun," she noticed with glee a small scowl in Gene's brow as she crossed to the Aston Martin and stood by the open passenger door. "Ma'am?"

With a broad smile of excitement Alex gracefully slipped inside the car and pulled in her skirt.

"Thank you," she said as Kim closed the door.

"What about me?" Robin asked, "what am I riding in?"

"Those rollerskates I mentioned earlier," Gene told him but Kim whistled.

"This way," she told him.

"I don't usually let clowns ride in my car," Gene scowled.

"Do you want me offering you make up tips on the way?" Robin asked.

Gene scowled again.

"Good point. Piss off, the lot of you," he told them.

Robin and Kim smiled as they jumped in the car and Kim started the engine.

"Goodbye, Gene," Alex smiled out of the window, waving.

"And drive around the ruddy block, _I'm_ supposed to get there first!" Gene yelled as they pulled away. He felt a very strange sensation in the pit of his stomach as he realised just how close the wedding was. "_Bloody hell,"_ he mumbled, "I'm a condemned man."

Simon opened the door of his car.

"Come on, Gene," he told him, "let's get you to the altar."

Gene swallowed.

"You'll have to get me out the bloody bog first," he mumbled as he ran back to the house. _Fine time for an attack of the nerves, Gene Hunt, _he admonished himself. The porcelain playground was calling.

~xXx~

Simon leaved against the bonnet and folded his arms as he watched Gene returning from another unscheduled stop. The Guv was looking pale and had been strangely quiet, aside from the three times he'd yelled, "_Shoebury, pull over! Bog break!"_

"Gene," Simon began as Gene ignored him, "_Guv."_ Gene continued walking towards the car until Simon plastered himself in front of the door. "Gene, _stop_. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Gene told him, "except your gangly legs are blocking the door."

"You've been to the toilet four times in six minutes," Simon pointed out.

"Don't blame me, blame Luigi and his bloody steak and listeria _pizza!" _Gene mumbled.

Simon looked at Gene seriously.

"Gene, are you nervous?" he asked and the look of horror on Gene's face almost struck him dead.

"Gene Hunt does not get nervous," he barked.

"You've been to every toilet between your house and here!" Simon reminded him.

"I'm more likely to get a _pedicure_ than get nervous," Gene scowled.

Simon studied his features. He could see it in Gene's eye. He'd only ever seen that kind of fear in him three times; the first in the basement of Fenchurch West when Keats forced Simon to tell the others the truth about the world, the second was the day Alex disappeared from the car park of the station and the third was when a rumour went around that someone had pranged his car. He stepped back, turned around, reached under the seat and pulled out a bottle which he handed to Gene.

"Here," he said, "the alcohol you requested."

"Bit bloody late for it now, isn't it?" Gene frowned.

"Is it ever too late for scotch?" Simon asked and Gene stared at the bottle. It was a good point.

"You're talking sense for once, Shoebury," he agreed and Simon opened the lid. He handed it to Gene who quickly took a gulp, closing his eyes as he tasted the comforting liquid. For just a few moments he managed to forget his anxiety, where they were, where they were going, but as soon as he opened his eyes and found he and Simon were still parked at the side of a road near a now quite unusable park toilet his nerves came back.

"You've been with Alex for what, twelve years?"

"Thirteen. Give or take. Time crap."

Simon nodded.

"You've worked with her for almost two decades. You've been living with her since I appeared the first time around. You've been engaged for almost three years. You fell to pieces when she disappeared."

Gene nodded and stared at the bottle.

"I know."

"Then why are you so scared?"

Gene drank again from the bottle then handed it to Simon as he scuffed his toe along the grass.

"This world," he began slowly, "Doesn't exactly have a boner for people popping the question," he caught Simon's eye, "does it?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, "and why does everything come back to boners with you?"

Gene ignored the second question.

"_Jarvis Cocker the second_ proposed. Suddenly Kite got a bullet in her. You stuck a ring on Batman's finger and he buggered off home. _Mister and Missus Stringer _only bought a pair of bloody _rings_. They didn't even get to the question part."

Simon sighed deeply.

"And you proposed to Alex and the next day her soul split in two," he said quietly.

Gene nodded as he watched Simon sipping from the bottle.

"Thought it was just... bad luck and bloody coincidence at first," he said, "but no one's ever been married here, Shoebury. Not any of us."

"And neither will you if you don't get back in the car," Simon pointed out.

Gene closed his eyes and leaned back harder against Simon's car.

"First time we set a date, she succumbed to the call of two thousand and bollocks. Second time, Jimbo shoved a bunch of fireworks in my station. Now, week of me wedding, we've got two dead vicars to show for it."

Simon hesitated.

"What are you saying to me, Gene?" he frowned.

Gene have a half-shrug.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"if you don't know then you can stop worrying and get back in the car," Simon told him but Gene didn't seem convinced. Simon closed his eyes and sighed as he handed back the scotch. "_Gene_," he began quietly, "you've had a lot of bad luck. And yeah, the world doesn't seem to like marriage very much. Maybe it's challenging the traditions of civilised society?" The '_where's-my-filing-cabinet' _look on Gene's face told Simon that his humour was not appreciated and he sighed. "All the stuff that's been thrown at you, all the obstacles in your way, they're all over. You got _through_ them, Guv. Now you're two minutes from the church and ten away from your wedding. I know you, and I know Alex, and the two of you are too bloody determined to let anything stop you now."

Gene nodded very slowly and looked Simon in the eye.

"You're a bit good at his la-di-da talking nonsense," he said and Simon gave a slight smile.

"What are friends for?" he asked.

Gene bowed his head, trying not to smile. Simon was right about one this. They were two minutes from the church and ten away from a whole new era. There was nothing that the world could conjure up between now and then to stop him from putting that ring on Alex's finger. He nodded and looked back at Simon.

"Two minutes, you say?" Simon nodded. "you've been here nearly three years, Simon... if you've learned _anything_ from me, you can get me there in one."

Simon tried not to smile as he watched Gene climb back in the car.

"What about your listeria?" he asked smartly.

Gene patted his gut. It felt strangely settled all of a sudden.

"Do you know," he said, "I think it's a bleeding miracle._ I'm cured."_

Simon beamed and rushed around to the other side, jumped in the car and started the engine.

"Alright," he turned to Gene, "better put that scotch down. Last thing you want is a spillage over your suit."

A moment later they were back on the road. Gene's fears had been valid but Simon was right, he and Alex weren't going to let anything stop them, not now, not after everything. The future was almost literally around the corner.


	26. Chapter 25: Big Surprises & Bouquets

**Chapter 25**

"Maybe you did inherit a few of me genes after all."

Somehow Simon had managed to do as Gene had asked. One minute they'd been standing on the outskirts of a park,, the next they were pulling up outside of the church and Simon was doing a smug little jig on the spot. "Alright, don't push it," Gene scowled.

"Sorry."

Now there they were, standing beside the door, watching the guests as they entered the chapel. Gene felt strangely heavy hearted as he realised that almost the entire congregation was made up of colleagues.

"Just another day at the office," Gene sighed.

"Sorry?"

Gene sighed as he looked at Simon.

"Aren't you supposed to share the happiest day of your life with your nearest and dearest?" he asked. Simon wasn't sure what he meant. "Look at this, Simon. The population of Fenchurch East CID and that's me lot." he shrugged. "This place. Cuts you off from your family and friends."

Simon hesitated. He wasn't sure whether the words in his head were ones Gene wanted to hear but he decided to say them anyway.

"You do have _some_ family here," he pointed out.

Gene didn't say anything. Simon wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he also missed the strange little glance of pride he threw in Simon's direction.

The chapel started to fill up; first came Terry, Bammo and Poirot who were packing water balloons which Gene confiscated using a grave stone as a makeshift filing cabinet, then Jake, Marci and Shaz arrived together. Jake was cradling his injured arm purposefully as though to garner sympathy whilst Marci looked like death warmed up.

"Bloody hell, no wonder she's taken a fortnight of leave, she'll need that long to perfect the gormless groan of the walking dead," Gene mumbled to Simon, who was more concerned by the fact that Shaz seemed to not even be looking at Marci, let alone talking to her.

"I wonder what's going on there?" he mumbled.

Gene was growing tired of the meet and greet as various colleagues he knew less well passed by into the chapel; the two DCs from Alex's department, a rather reluctant Em, Superintendent Fletcher who seemed to have a crossword surreptitiously tucked into the pocket of his jacket and one or two officers who wanted to see them tie the knot. But to Gene's utter astonishment a car puled up close by and the most unexpected of faces appeared from within.

"Who the bleeding hell let you out of Manchester?" he asked as a woman made her way towards him.

"Probably the same idiot who thought it was wise to give you a marriage licence," she told him, "come here then."

Simon frowned in confusion as the stranger grasped Gene and gave him an auntie-esque smacker on the cheek.

"Who the hell's _this?!"_ Simon cried in alarm.

"This pair of unwanted lips belongs to Phyllis Dobbs," Gene said as he tried frantically to scrub away the lipstick, "a familiar face from many years ago."

"Little bird by the name of Nelson told me you were getting a ring on your finger today," she told him, "since we've lost you to the south I thought least I could do was show my face to hold up the side, Guv."

"Not that I ever thought I'd say this but I'm bloody glad to _see_ your face," Gene told her.

"It's not all good news though," Phyllis told him and Gene's brow wrinkled in alarm.

"Why?" there was a momentary pause before he spotted it; the nasty surprise. A proud 'tache, owner walking purposefully in his direction. Gene's spirits sank into his boots. "I do _not_ believe it," he mumbled.

"What?" Simon frowned.

Gene scowled at the approaching figure.

"I'm supposed to have a best man, not a worst bastard," he barked.

"And a pleasure to see your ugly mug too, Gene."

"Who the hell is_ that?"_ Simon frowned.

"This," Gene wrinkled up his noise as though an unpleasant smell had entered the room, "is DCI Litton," he hesitated, "i don;t know what he's calling the 'tache these days. Hubert or something."

"Litton?" Simon frowned, "I think I've heard that name."

"Always in complimentary context, no doubt," Litton smirked.

"I know him of old," Gene scowled, "and in all the years I've had the unfortunate honour of knowing him I don;t think he's ever changed his underpants."

"How _do_ you survive down here without needing to resort to using me as a verbal punch-bag?" Litton scoffed.

"Don't flatter yerself, Got rivals with bigger balls than yours down here," Gene scratched his head, his expression somewhat sour, Somewhere beneath that was a little glimmer of the strange feeling of being glad to see Litton again after so many years, but he wasn't going to admit to that for a moment. "what did I do to deserve you on my doorstep?"

"Heard you'd pulled a classy piece of skirt," Litton told him.

"You heard right."

"Only, thing is, I know you," Litton smirked, "and the only way you'd get near a classy bit of skirt is if you brought one from a charity shop."

Gene slowly turned to Simon and told him,

"Go and borrow a needle off someone, would you?"

Simon looked at him dubiously.

"Why?"

"Me sides just split."

"Aren't you introducing us to this handsome lad?" Phyllis asked and Simon took a step back.

"_Gene, I think it's flirting with me,"_ he hissed in a panic.

Gene rolled his eyes.

"Calm yourself, Phyllis, he doesn't bat for the right side," he told her.

To Simon's horror Phyllis genuinely looked disappointed.

"So it's true what they say about all the good looking ones," she said with a sigh and Simon attempted to hide behind Gene.

"_Make it stop,"_ he pleaded.

Phyllis frowned.

"Bit whiny though," she said, "loosing its appeal now."

"And who the hell _is_ this gangly knob-gobbler when he's at home anyway?" Litton demanded.

"I'm a _what?"_ Simon cried.

Gene sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Simon Shoebury," he introduced him, "Head of hi-tech crimes. My so called best-man," Gene hauled Simon out from behind him, "although I'm having second thoughts to be honest with you." He glared at Simon, "Keep hiding and I'll demote you to gravestone polisher!"

"Alright, keep your hair on," Simon frowned, ducking out from behind Gene.

"Yes, but who _is_ he?" Litton peered at Simon suspiciously, "since when would the great Gene Hunt have an eighty-foot poof as a best man?"

"I'm a _what?_" Simon squeaked again.

Gene closed his eyes, groaning internally.

"DCI Shoebury has the honour of owning half my DNA," he said grudgingly and Litton and Phyllis turned to one another open mouthed. They stared at each other, then at Simon, then at Gene and finally back at one another.

"Well," Litton began as his mind scanned the several thousand jokes and insults he was preparing to throw in Gene's direction.

"you kept that one a bit quiet, Guv," Phyllis commented.

"Not as quiet as _he's_ going to be -" Gene began, scowling at Litton, "- when I've stapled his lips together if one single insult comes this way." he scowled. "this is me wedding day. Bugger off inside that church. Go and make your peace with the Lord almighty or something."

Litton sniggered but passed by without further comment while Phyllis gave Simon one last glance of approval, sighed about him being such a waste and followed suit. Gene let out his breath and turned slowly to Simon who was looking pissed off and confused. "What?"

"Thanks a lot for defending me against the masses!" Simon cried.

"_The masses?" _Gene repeated, "One blind old bat who thinks you're worth a look and one bastard?"

"_And_ his moustache," Simon scowled but he had to halt his tirade as a familiar car came into view. "oh shit! Gene, they're here!" he cried.

"Bugger," Gene panicked, "what am I supposed to do?"

|Book a holiday in the Algarve – what do you _think_ you're supposed to do?" cried Simon, "get in that bloody chapel and wait for Alex!"

"Right," Gene cleared his throat and straightener his lapels. Our of the corner of his eye he caught the tiniest glimpse of Alex and his entire body tingled with anticipation. He didn't dare look for too long or he would never make it inside. "_Come on, Hunt, let's get moving,"_ he mumbled to himself and began to stride into the chapel with Simon beside him.

~xXx~

"Here we are, Ma'am," Kim said as she pulled up outside of the church. She ran her hand around the steering wheel and glanced at Alex. "I don't suppose Gene's interested in selling this, is he?"

Alex gave Kim a gentle smile.

"Not as far as I know," she said.

"Damn," Kim cursed. She turned to Alex and looked at her seriously. "Are you ready?"

Alex's tummy filled with butterflies and she felt like jumping and squirming on her seat from the nervous energy that ran through her veins, She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. When she opened her eyes again she looked directly at Kim

"I've been ready for years," she whispered.

Kim smiled.

"Let's get you to the altar then," she said softly.

The doors of the car opened and all three of them stepped out. The day was bright and sunny with a little rain still pooling on the path from the early hours of the morning. It was a perfect day for it. Well, it was a perfect day for more or less _anything_. She listened to the sound of the birds singing, the distant chatter of voices, the wind that rustled the leaves. How could this world have _ever_ seemed anything less than real.

"Alex," Robin's voice brought her back to the real world, "I'd better go inside and take my seat before you start walking down the aisle, OK?"

"Alright," Alex nodded.

"Good luck, Alex," he smiled and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly, "you look beautiful. Be happy."

That did it, there were tears coming and Alex didn't want to trail make up down her dress. She pulled away , sniffng and desperately willing the tears not to fall as she said, "Robin, wait, before you go inside, there's something I need to say to you," she looked to Kim, "to _both_ of you." she took a deep breath, trying to get her words into some sort of logical order. They were as scrambled as the rest of her mind. "It's just, without you... _both_ of you... Robin... Kim..." she flinched, "I wouldn't be here now..." she saw them both giving slightly pained smiles as they looked down nervously, "I don't know where I would be but..." she shook her head, "no, I _know_ where I would be. I'd be sectioned in two thousand and eleven, or stuck in a nursing home in two thousand and twelve."

"We just did what we had to do," Robin told her, "you were never alone, Alex. We'd always have been there for you."

"And we always _will_ be," Kim added, "whatever world we're a part of."

"I know," Alex nodded tearfully, "I know that, you always have been. And I am so -" she closed her eyes and sniffed back the tears, "_so_ grateful for that, to both of you. More than I can tell you." she shook her head and looked down. "You both took the biggest risks to help me home. And you paid for that," she looked at Robin, recalling his shooting in Manchester, "and you went above and beyond what... what anyone should ever have to do," she looked sadly at Kim whose sacrifices had been so extreme. "From the... the moment I fell through your doorway," she whispered to Robin, "to the moment you held me in your lap and whispered goodbye," her voice was broken as she turned to Kim.

"Ma'am, it's OK, we know," Kim whispered, quickly wiping an eye.

"I'd never felt so safe ," Alex concluded, "I can't thank you enough, both of you." she looked at Robin whose eye-liner was running. "_You_ should be there too."

"Where?" he frowned.

"With me... with _us_. You should be a part of the wedding party," Alex told him, "it doesn't feel right without you."

"Hey, it's fine," Robin smiled tearfully, "I just want to see you finally tie the knot, and be happy," he said but Alex shook her head.

"No, no, I want you to be part of this -" she stopped talking quite abruptly as an idea struck her and a look of determination came over her face. "Sod it," she said determinedly, grasping a portion of her bouquet and pulling it away from the rest of the bunch. She thrust the flowers in Robin's direction.

"What's this?" he asked in confusion.

"You can be bridesmaid," Alex told him, wiping her eye, "you've already got the make-up."

"I can't be bridesmaid, Gene'll have a fit!"

"I'll make it up to him on honeymoon," Alex told him. She plucked a rose stem from the bouquet, carefully broke it in half and pushed it through his button hole. "There. Now you're an official part of the wedding party. No arguments."

Robin didn't really know what to say, partly because he couldn't find the words and partly because there were already tears threatening to cascade down his face and he knew anything he _did_ say would set them off. In the end all he could do was to hug Alex tightly. A moment later Kim's arms joined the fray. They must have looked a complete sight, standing there, hugging and blubbering like a trio of fools. None of them cared. Finally they all stepped back, looked to each other and smiled.

"Are you ready, ma'am?" Kim ashed her softly.

Alex nodded with a proud smile growing across her face. Her heart felt like it might explode at any moment.

"Never been more ready for anything," she told them.

Robin and Kim nodded, then each carefully took an arm, as though protecting Alex between them. It was a situation that was familiar to them.

"Let's get you to the altar, ma'am," Kim smiled.

The three figures moved slowly along the pathway, towards the church doors. Emotions were high, hearts racing and smiles stretching from ear to ear. It was finally here, and there wasn't a moment of the day that Alex was going to forget.


	27. Chapter 26: Vows, Vicars & Vindication

**Chapter 26**

"_Gene."_

Gene had been in a world of his own until he heard Simon saying his name. His head had been going over and over his earlier worries about the world and its views on marriage, worrying that something terrible was going to happen to Alex on the way to the church; she'd be abducted by aliens or eaten by killer giraffes or get a saucepan stuck on her head or something else to hold up the ceremony. But as his head rose and he saw Simon indicating her arrival his worries seemed so far away because there, just moments from becoming his wife, was Alex. Her face was positively glowing as she awaited her cue, the moment had been such a long time coming but now that it was here she couldn't remember ever feeling so happy.

The gentle organ, which had earlier been playing some kind of nondescript dirge until Gene threatened to pour holy water in its pipes, struck up with a rather potted version of Here Comes the Bride. The aisle, such as it was, might have only been a short walk but with every step Alex's smile grew a little broader. To one side of her Robin stood clutching his half-bouquet in one hand and Alex's arm with the other. He felt oddly protective of Alex and always had, ever since the day she fell through his doorway begging for help. To her other side stood Kim, who looked serious while just about bursting with pride. She clasped Alex's arm so tightly Gene was worried she would refuse to let go when they reached the front of the church.

"_Bloody hell," _Gene muttered under his breath as his eyes followed Alex all the way to his side. The others had been right. Even though he'd seen her dress already the sight of her walking through the doors, getting closer with each passing moment sent shivers down his spine and had effects that he was in dancer of needing to grab a prayer book to hide. He wondered whether it was blasphemous to use religious texts to hide his trouser tent but he didn't have a lot to time to worry about that because she was soon by his side and, despite his fears, Kim let go of her arm, tapped it gently and caught Alex's eye to offer her a warm smile.

Gene watched as Kim stepped to one side and Robin followed her. He frowned, leaned closer to Alex and whispered,

"_Why's Batman doing an impression of a florist?"_

"_Long story," _Alex whispered back as they both turned to the front of the church where vicar number three was waiting to begin. He clasped his hands together and looked out to the small congregation.

"Dear friends," he began, "today we are all gathered here together to celebrate love, unity and marriage as these two people, Gene and Alex, stand before you, making a statement to show that their love -" Gene cleared his throat loudly and the vicar glanced down. "Yes?"

Gene beckoned tot he vicar.

"A word in your shell-like," he told him conspiratorially. He leaned closer to the vicar's ear and said, "Listen, Vic. The mushy stuff. That's your forte. I get that. Far be it from me to tell you how to do yer job but if there's any way you can give me a version which is less likely to make me and our dearly beloved congregation vomit onto yer polished wooden floor then there's a healthy donation for the church roof fund in it for you."

The vicar hesitated and blinked.

"R-right," he began swallowing hard. He hesitated. "And your bride... how does she feel about -"

"Actually a lack of mush would be greatly appreciated," Alex nodded seriously, unable to associate Gene with the kind of ceremony that the vicar was attempting to perform, "and also if you could hurry things up to get to the important parts, we'll be more likely to get through the ceremony without some tragic event occurring."

"Or _you_ losing a limb," Gene's words made the vicar's eyes bolt, "or yer life." He held up his hand. "I'm not threatening you, Vic, don't get me wrong. We've had a bit of bad luck keeping yer brethren alive and kicking this week, that's all."

"Yes," Alex nodded, "and I know it's supposed to be third time lucky but after two dead vicars in one week -"

The vicar turned a deathly shade of pale and took a step back from the happy couple. He swallowed hard, He'd have thought that a wedding in which the congregation was made up almost entirely of coppers and detectives would be the safest place imaginable. Suddenly his life was flashing before his eyes.

"Right," he said anxiously, "well I'll... I'll do my best."

Alex smiled with a grateful nod and Gene pulled a little at his collar.

"Thanks, Vic, we appreciate it."

The vicar stared at the sea of faces before him. None of them seemed to think anything was amiss with Gene's request. Bloody hell, what kind of wedding _was_ this anyway? He tried to compose himself and cleared his throat.

"Right. Yes... well." he adjusted his glasses, "we are here to celebrate the..." he saw Gene glaring at him slightly, "the mutual respect that these two people have for one another -"

"Especially in the bedroom," Gene mouthed and Alex tried not to laugh.

"...Alex and Gene have spent many years getting to know one another, working side by side, falling in lo-" he hesitated, "- _liking each other a lot._.. and they have taken the decision to make their vows today in front of you, their family and friends, the people who have watched them as their love as blossomed -" the vicar covered his mouth as he let the L word escape and looked at Gene in fear.

Gene hesitated, considering for a moment.

"You're alright Vic, I'll let that one go."

The vicar gave a nervous laugh with relief

"Oh good," he said. He took a deep breath and let it out again very slowly. "Alright," he cleared his throat, "marriage is not something to enter into lightly. Marriage is an eternal bond between two people, made before god..."

Alex and Gene seemed to drone out the rambling of the vicar as they looked at one another; Alex trying not to break into a smile and Gene trying not to let his entire team see him showing emotion, but both could see from the look in the other's eye how they really felt. They didn't need words for that, however many of them the vicar attempted to throw their way.

"Gene," the vicar pulled his attention away from trying to send telepathic messages to Alex to ask whether she wanted to slip round the back of the church for a few minutes after the ceremony, "please turn to your bride and repeat after me." Gene faced Alex head on, trying not to let that smile melt his cool exterior. '_I, Gene Hunt'."_

"I know me own name, thanks," Gene scowled.

"It's a vow, not an exam." the vicar scowled.

Gene sighed and turned back to Alex.

"I, Gene Hunt."

"Is Gene your full name?" Alex asked, "it's not short for Eugene or anything?"

"Not if you want to consummate this marriage," Gene told her as the vicar cleared his throat loudly.

"Are you _actually_ interested in getting married or not?" he asked them, hands on hips.

"We were only talking," Alex protested.

"Isn't communication the key to a successful relationship?" Robin chimed in.

"Oh don't _you_ start!" the Vicar threw his hands in the air, "are _you_ marrying them as well?"

"He'd better bloody not be," Gene scowled.

"Right," the vicar huffed, "then if we may begin again?" he gave both Alex and Gene a dirty look which only served to make Alex giggle. She managed to rein it in apologetically.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry."

The vicar fixed a stare on her like a teacher who was attempting to stop the naughtiest child from talking in the back row. He glared at her and Gene for several moments before he finally went back to the vows and made Gene start all over again.

"_I, Gene Hunt,_" he started through gritted teeth.

Gene almost asked if he had to repeat it in a pissed-off tone but thought better of it.

"I, Gene Hunt."

"_Take you, Alexandra Drake."_

"Take you, Alexandra Drake."

"I thought for sure you were going to add _Bollyknickers_," Alex whispered, risking another glare, but the vicar just wanted to get the vows over and done with.

"_To be my wife..."_

"To be my wife..."

"_...to have and to hold, from this day forward..."_

"...to have and to hold, from this day forward..."

"_...for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer..."_

"...for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer..."

"_...in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..."_

"...in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..."

"_...Forsaking all others, till death us do part."_

"Forsaking all others," Gene hesitated, "We don't need the death part."

The vicar stared at him.

"What?"

"Not applicable."

The vicar scowled,.

"But if one of you dies -"

"I know you're a man of the cloth but you've got cloth in yer ears as well! Not bloody applicable!"

"Gene, just humour him," Alex sighed and Gene rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Til death parts us, something like that."

The vicar was seriously starting to hope that death would part him from the ceremony. His two dead predecessors didn't know how lucky an escape they'd had.

"Alright," he turned to Alex, "repeat after me. I, Alexandra Drake."

Alex caught Gene's eye as she smiled.

" I, Alexandra Drake."

"Take you, Gene Hunt to be my husband."

Alex's pulse tarted to race as she realised how close they now were and nothing was going to stop them.

"Take you, Gene Hunt to be my husband."

With each and every line of the vows that Alex repeated her heart seemed to beat a little harder and her smile grew a little bigger until, as she reached the end, she felt like she could explode with joy. This was how it was supposed to be, not the anxious autonomy of her vows to Peter. This was it, herself and Gene. They didn't _need_ the wedding, nor the vows, to make their relationship solid or complete, it was something they had _chosen_ to do. Her marriage to Peter had been about fixing what was wrong. Her wedding to Gene was simply to celebrate all that was right.

"In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..."

Alex could feel herself starting to grow more emotional as she looked Gene in the eye and repeated the line.

"in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..."

"Forsaking all others, till death us do part."

Alex took a deep breath.

"Forsaking all others -"

"Apart from Stringer on Tuesdays and alternate weekends," Gene interrupted gruffly as various members of the congregation turned to stare at Kim, as well as the Vicar who looked as though he was about to commit several acts of homicide. Meanwhile Kim stared back, open-mouthed.

"I have_ scheduling?_" she cried.

"Yes, and you'd better bloody appreciate it," Gene told her.

"_Gene! _Don't swear in church!" Alex hissed.

"Actually, can I have Wednesday this week?" Kim asked. She became aware that the entire gathering had turned to stare at her. "i-it's just... I was finishing Robin's tattoo on tuesday..." she tried to sink into her collar. "I'll stop talking now."

"You won't be having _any_ day this week, we'll be living it up in sunnier climes," Gene told her smugly.

"Bollocks," Kim mumbled.

"_Kim!"_ hissed Alex, "what did I say about swearing in church!"

"Is there _any way on earth_ we can actually finish this ceremony?" the vicar cried. Alex looked at him a little guiltily and bit her lip.

"Forsaking all others," she said, "..._mostly... _till death us do part." she looked at Gene and mouthed, "_Humouring him."_

The vicar shook his head and muttered a few choice words under his breath before he finally turned to Simon and asked,

"May I have the rings?"

"What?" Simon seemed miles away and jumped a little at the sound of his name. He shook his head an tried to pull himself out of his daydream. "Oh, the rings?" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box from which he took the them, handling them to Alex and Gene.

"Gene, please place the ring onto Alex's finger and repeat after me," the vicar began, _"__With this ring, I thee wed."_

Gene hated to admit it but his hands were shaking as he held the ring and watched Alex flexing out the correct finger, just in case he was under any doubt about where to place it.

"With this ring," he kept his voice strong as he slid the gold band onto her finger, "I thee wed."

The vicar nodded solemnly as he continued.

"_With my body," _he continued, _"I thee worship."_

Gene's eyes lit up and a smirk took over his face.

"Too bloody right I do," he said which brought a pink glow to Alex's cheeks.

"_Repeat the vow!"_ the vicar growled and Gene closed his eyes momentarily. The vicar was seriously looking to meet his filing cabinet.

"With my body, I thee worship," he said, his eyes falling momentarily to Alex's cleavage.

"_And with all my worldly goods I thee endow."_

"And with all my worldly goods I thee endow."

The vicar breathed a sigh of relief that they were just about back on track.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

Gene hesitated. He closed his eyes for a moment. There was no father, son and holy ghost, just him. Just him and Alex and the others who sent the good men and woman of their world onto Nelson's domain when their lives were through. But for the same of humouring the vicar he simply repeated the line and the vicar looked relieved.

"Alex, please now place the ring onto Gene's finger and repeat after me," he continued. "With this ring, I thee wed."

Alex's painted lips whispered through each and every word of the vow as her fingers slipped the band onto Gene's hand. She stared at the ring as she stroked his fingers, without even realising what she was doing. She may have been repeating the words as the vicar asked her to but all her attention was on the look in Gene's eye. She wondered what was going through his mind. There was a look of peace that she loved to see.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost," she whispered, "Amen."

The vicar nodded, counting down the words and moments until the ceremony was over and he could rid himself of the delinquent couple.

"The vows that you have taken," he began,. "are a promise you have made to one another and in the eyes of god."

"Can we get to the good bit?" Gene demanded, "only I've been staring at me bride for the last fifteen minutes and my lips are getting twitchy."

_"Look,"_ the vicar cried, tossing a bible up into the air, "in all my years I have _never_ encountered a couple who have less respect for the ceremony of a marriage! All you have done," his eyes blazed with fury, "right from the moment you arrived is to disrupt the vows. You've shown little to no respect to me, to your guests or to each other. You clearly have no concept of the serious, importance of marriage and therefore I cannot conclude this ceremony!" He looked as though he was about to give himself an aneurysm, "You have proven that neither of you have the... the maturity and the understanding to commit to marriage and I will _not_ taint the importance of these vows by allowing you to call yourselves husband and _wife!"_

There was a moment of stunned, horrified silence.

This was followed by another moment of stunned, horrified silence.

After three stunned, horrified silences in a row, during which the only sounds had been a slightly rabid panting from the vicar and someone letting one go in the congregation, Gene straightened himself up to his highest height, stared the vicar straight in the eye and cracked his knuckles under his nose.

"I knew it, I knew it, there's going to be blood in the pulpit," Simon panicked, covering his head while Kim looked like she was preparing to be Gene's back-up if he needed a second pair of fists and Robin was too busy attempting to hide the fact that he'd let one go to do very much else. For an awful moment Alex wondered if she was about to witness the third dead vicar in a week but instead of launching into violence Gene began to speak; his tone as steady and serious as she had ever heard it.

"Thirteen years," he began, "that's how long we've been together, me and her. Between work, rest and play we spend almost twenty four hours a day in each other's pockets. Somehow she's not sick of me yet. And by some miracle she wants me to stick around as long as we've got." he wanted to look at Alex but he didn't dare. He had to focus and he couldn't let his line of sight waver. He didn't even blink. "I dragged my heels for a decade before I put a ring on her finger, and if you think for _one moment _it was because I didn't want to commit to her then you're more mistaken than Bammo on the night he groped Geoff's arse mistaking him for the woman in the canteen. I wasn't afraid of being with her forever," he swallowed, "I was scared of being torn apart. Terrified out of my ample brains." he took a tiny step forward, keeping the Vicar in his stare. "I don't function without Bolly. And it turns out she doesn't want to function without _me_. No one's made more bloody sacrifices to be together. I don't need a ring on me finger to say we're together for the rest of time, neither does she. We know that just by looking at each other," he had to turn his eyes to Alex as he added, "or when we're bonking a hole in the floor -"

"Probably not the time, Gene," Alex said quietly, but there was a lump in her throat from his words.

"If you think," he continued, "for one _second_ that we've been changing things around today because of a lack of _respect_ -" he said the word so viciously he accidentally spat, "for you, for each other,- for for the bloody wedding then you need to look again at what you've seen, pal. Because what you've seen are two people who know each other inside out! Got one bloody mind split between us. Been on the same page from the day she walked into my life." he glanced at Alex, "fainted into me life." Alex nodded slightly and have a shrug.

"Pretty much accurate," she agreed.

Gene turned back to the Vicar.

"I didn't want to stick a ring on her finger to trap her and she didn't want to stick one on mine to get me under the bloody thumb." he continued, "we didn't need a bloody piece of paper and a few poncey words to make us more secure, we've got that much already, thank you very much, _dog collar! _We want to get married so that the world and his wife can ruddy well see that too. Today was supposed to be about celebrating who we bloody well are, not what your _la-di-da _script wants us to be, We're not your average loved-up couple spending a year's wages on a selection of pink frilly doilies to follow us down the aisle. But we're bloody unbreakable and no toff in a dog-collar and glasses he's borrowed from the Two Ronnies is going to tell us we're anything other than husband and bloody _wife!"_

It was back to the stunned silences; for the congregation, the vicar and the not altogether happy couple. At first no one said anything, except for Bammo who was running a book on how long it would be before the Vicar resorted to violence. There was an occasional cough and a slight murmur of disbelief but total silence fell again very quickly. No one spoke for several moments until the shocked vicar blinked, removed his spectacles, polished them on his sleeve and put them on again. He stared at Gene, his expression firm and unmoving, then at Alex whose expression was resolute, in utter agreement with every word that had come from Gene's mouth. He drew in his breath and bowed his head solemnly.

"In that case," he began, very slowly, "and in light of your;... expressed views on marriage and what it means to you," he looked back at Gene, "I don't think," his voice seemed to tremble, "that I have ever met a couple more suited to one another and a lifetime of commitment than the two of you." He heard a collective swallow from the congregation as he continued. "and I have no choice but to commend you on sharing the kind of love and relationship that will withstand every kind of test placed in its way," he narrowed his eyes a little, "even from me." he nodded and took a step back. "So, by the power vested in me, it gives me pleasure to pronounce you," he finally gave a glimmer of a smile, "_husband and wife."_

Alex's eyes closed and the broadest of smiles swept across her features as her heart near exploded while Gene turned to her with a proud glint in his eye.

"Go on, Vic." he prompted, "We're waiting."

"You may kiss the bride," the vicar conceded and Gene smirked as he stepped a little closer.

"About bloody time and all," he said.

As though magnetically attracted, Gene's lips swept forward and pressed against Alex's, their eyes closed as the kiss that sealed their vows brought cheers from the gathered crowd. Every last one of them got to their feet; applauding, whistling, calling out their cries of congratulation until after the longest kiss many had ever seen Gene and Alex pulled apart for Gene to turn and cry,

"_Oi! _You bunch of letches, stop watching! I'm trying to get fresh with my bride!"

The crowd laughed as someone chimed in,

"Never stopped you before."

"We were single people then," Gene accused, "have some respect, she's a married woman now!" he turned back to Alex and looked her right in the eye. He couldn't be sure but he thought his mouth broke into what felt like the broadest smile of his life. "I think we finally did it," he said.

Alex's hands wrapped around his neck and played with the ends of his hair.

"I think you might be right," she smiled.

She pulled his face closer and kissed him one more time before they stepped back and he held his arm in her direction.

"Now, Missus Hunt, let me allow you to the local public house for a number of refreshments to pull your blood alcohol level up to a Gene Genie approved amount."

Alex smirked.

"I thought you'd never ask," she smiled.

Arm in arm they walked through the chapel, cheered at every step of the way while the vicar fell to the floor.

"_You haven't signed the register yet!" _he whimpered weakly.

There would be time for that later. For now there were excitable colleagues who wanted to congratulate the new Mr and Mrs Hunt, and a small brewery worth of booze to be consumed. They'd done it. They'd made it. They had rings on their fingers and a day they would never forget engrained in their hearts and minds.

As for the vicar, a long leave of absence for stress was on the cards.

**~xXx~**

_**A/N: I just feel somehow that it's appropriate to say something here, because I know that a lot of you have been waiting a long time for this. And I know I am the ONLY non-Galex-shipper in the known universe so I worry when writing things like this whether I've done them justice! But a pivotal moment like this has made me really kind of reflective, especially since I'm becoming increasingly aware how close to the end I'm getting now.**_

_**Really I want to say thank you to everyone who's been reading from the start, and all of you who have joined along the way and followed the journey for the long haul. It's more than lip service, three and a half years of fics are a long time to commit to reading one series. I admit sometimes feel disheartened by the lack of reviews when I know so many other writers get multiple reviews per chapter, but then when I look at the stats and views average around 40-50 individuals per chapter, that's kind of awesome, the fact that so many of you have stuck with it so long, even when there are horrible jumpers or violent wooden crocodiles or ex-truckers giving bedbaths thrown into the mix. Thank you... really, just, thank you. I'm going to be in bits when I write the final chapter of this series, even though it's a way away yet. Writing's kept me sane when things around me are falling apart. And so have you for following. Thank you!**_


	28. Chap 27: Sex, Sausage Rolls & Suspicions

**Chapter 27**

"Bammo! _Bammo!_ I swear if you get within one mile of that cake with those water balloons there will be tears before bedtime!"

"Don;t you mean... _tiers_.. before bedtime?"

"If _anyone's_ going to do that cake jokes it's going to be _me!" _Robin fumed as he attempted to protect his pride and joy from a soaking.

"Rob, your cake will be _fine_," Kim attempted to reassure him, "Even Bammo's not that stupid."

"Yes he is!"

Kim had to concede Robin was probably right there.

"Ok, he is," she said, "but if he ruins the cake he won't get any. And anyone who's ever tasted your cooking knows that cake is going to be worth waiting for." Kim groaned as her stomach rumbled. "Shit, I need to stop thinking about the cake," she moaned, "when's the food coming out?"

"You seem to have recuperated from your post-ice-cream issues," Robin commented.

"I'm bloody starving, I'm going to eat the _vicar_ if we have to wait much longer," Kim complained.

After the eventful ceremony Gene and Alex had posed for photos, signed the register and slipped away for a few moments of 'privacy' before leading the way to the reception. The pub around the corner was a place the team were becoming increasingly familiar with. Every now and then they'd spend an evening there or pop out for a liquid lunch. Robin had spent his birthday there and for those who weren't keen on dancing the night away at the nightclub it made an excellent alternative. It had seemed a perfect location for the reception, its function room being the ideal size for the small gathering.

"We see to have dwindled in numbers," Robin commented, glancing around.

"Yeah," Kim said a little sadly, "there were a couple of DCs from Alex's team who went home, they kind of keep themselves to themselves. Marci looked like death warmed up, I think she's gone too. And Em," Kim gave a deep sigh, "apparently Saturday the twenty fifth of July is another day she doesn't '_do_' so she's gone as well."

"You're worried about her, aren't you?" Robin said quietly.

"Kind of," Kim nodded slowly, "I don't know why she's here. I mean, I don't know how she ended up in this world, and I don't know why this year. I don't know if I'm allowed to ask, either," she shook her head. "when Evan wrote that book he also rewrote all the rules." The sight of the food arriving visually cheered up Kim. "_Oh!_ At l_ast!"_

Myriad pub staff began to bring out trays of food, two at a time, lining them up along a long counter at the back of the room. The gathering cheered and descended upon them quickly, grabbing plates and piling them high with various treats.

"_Oh," _a rather disappointed noise emerged from Robin as Kim turned to him with a scowl.

"No, Rob, there's no beans," she said.

Robin looked guilty.

"I didn't mention beans!" he protested.

"You didn't _need_ to! It's written all over your face," Kim accused.

"I just thought beans would make a nice addition," Robin said miserably.

"To a buffet?" Kim cried, "_Ooof -"_

"Let the newlyweds through," Gene blundered past much to Kim's annoyance.

"There are three toothpicks on my plate," Kim warned him, surveying the snacks she'd grabbed so far.

Gene frowned.

"So?"

"So they can stay on my plate or they can go in somewhere delicate to ruin your honeymoon," Kim threatened, "which would you prefer?"

"They've already had a head start on their honeymoon," Robin said distastefully.

"I don't know what you mean," Alex said innocently.

"We saw you _at_ it!" cried Robin, "behind the big gravestone!"

Alex's cheeks reddened.

"That's a _terrible_ allegation!"

"We were_ there!"_ Robin frowned.

"Yeah, but, Rob, we were only there because _we_ were looking for somewhere to -" Kim began, shushed urgently by Robin.

_"That's not the point!"_ he blushed.

"I'm perfectly certain that you did not see enough to corrupt your innocent minds," Alex told him with a smile, diving into the buffet with a plate.

Robin pouted.

"I wouldn't mind but we still haven't done it," he mumbled.

"There's plenty of time for that later," Kim whispered, she glanced around before leaning closer and hissing, "_good sized cubicles in these toilets."_

Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes," said Kim.

Robin nodded in the direction of the toilet.

"So -" he began but Kim held up her plate.

"Another fact is that if I don't eat this first I'll start hallucinating the toilet roll as a marshmallow," she said, "so food first, then an hour from now," she coughed, "we'll, uh," a devilish smile came across her face, "_wash our hands."_

"It's a deal," Robin felt his cheeks heating up. From the moment Kim had put on the tux he'd been desperate to help her out of it. He was going to be counting down the moments.

~xXx~

"If it isn't the handsome Hunt Junior again."

Simon felt a wave of fear his his heart as Phyllis approached. She'd clearly sampled several glasses of the complimentary booze and Simon hadn't sampled enough to bear holding a conversation as yet.

"Hello again," he smiled thinly, staring around the pub looking for someone – _anyone_ - to hold a conversation with, but everyone seemed busy chatting in their own little groups and there was nowhere he thought he could butt in. Certainly not between Bammo and his water balloons. Nor between Kim and Robin when they were staring at one another like that.

"Are you all on your lonesome?" Phyllis asked him and Simon cringed.

"I was about to join my friends -" he bluffed but Phyllis gripped his arm like the drunken auntie of the wedding and leaned a little closer.

"I mean your _plus one,_" she said.

"Oh, no I don't have one," Simon told her, "I'm single. _And gay," _he said quickly as she seemed to encroach, "very, _very_ gay."

"There's a lovely queer lad down the station," Phyllis began and Simon attempted to sink into the floor.

"Oh _god,"_ he groaned.

"In Manchester."

"Yeah..." Simon began slowly, "I don't really have a lot of call for spending time up in the north. Sorry."

"Oh, that's a shame, that," Phyllis told him, "Big, good looking fella like you, all on your own."

"I'm quite happy being single, thank you," Simon cried haughtily, but there was a terrible pang of sadness inside his gut that reminded him that wasn't quite true. He could see Phyllis gearing up with more questions and rummaging in her bag for a pen.

"I'll take your number," she told him, "no son of the Guv is going to stay single if I can help it, especially not one with a jawline so sharp you can cut diamonds with it."

"_Oh shit,_" Simon panicked, "Erm, no phone line, it's been cut off!" he cried, running away at speed, "...like this conversation."

~xXx~

"Gene?"

"Hmm?"

"Who's that?"

Gene sighed and popped a whole sausage roll in his mouth.

"_Hhhmmmmhmmmffff hmmmmpffff,_" he told her.

"The name again without the sausage roll?"

Gene swallowed and pointed his plate on he direction.

"Phyllis Dobbs," he told her, "from Manchester."

"Why is she chasing Simon with a pen?"

"She's off her rocker, that's why," Gene mumbled, grudgingly pleased to see an old face. "Nah, she's alright. Probably the only one who kept me in line in me home town."

"Looks like she's trying to do the same to Simon," Alex pointed out as Phyllis chased him to the gent's, "I've rarely seen him look that scared."

"For the love of god, don't introduce that woman to Stringer," Gene mumbled, "those two strike up a friendship, that would signal the start of the apocalypse."

Alex smiled as she picked at the foods on her plate, staring out across the room. Now that the ceremony was over she felt somewhat strange. The extra ring on her finger caught the light and made her smile.

"That was a bit of a hairy moment," she said quietly.

"Don't worry, she'll give up in a few minutes and Simon can join the party again," Gene told her.

"I meant at the wedding," Alex told him and Gene looked guilty just for a moment.

"Bloody vicar was spoiling for a fight," he mumbled.

"I'm glad it didn't get that far!" Alex cried. She closed her eyes for a moment as she thought back to Gene's speech and her heart started to race again. "I was so proud of you, Gene," she told him, "the things that you said."

"I'm not having some stuck-up dog-collar telling me whether I'm marriage material or not," Gene told her, "he thinks love is all... sitting around in yer sunday best, respecting each other and asking each other if we enjoyed the last book we read," he shook his head. "Nah. That's not love. That's a bloody book club."

Alex smirked as she stared at Gene. She held up a toothpick laden with cheese and pineapple and pointed it in his direction.

"You just used the L word," she told him, _"twice."_

Gene stared at her, put a pickled onion in his mouth and took a very long time chewing it as he tried to find a way to rebuff her statement.

"Loofah?" he suggested eventually as Alex shoved a canapé into his mouth.

"No," she told him, "you know what word."

"Alright, but if you say it out loud I turn into a pumpkin," Gene threatened, "so speak it at your peril."

"I thought Gene Hunt didn't do girly feelings."

"We're heading dangerously into pumpkin territory," Gene growled.

"Alright what about in church?" Alex smiled, loving the uncomfortable glow of his cheeks as she pointed out, "your speech. You can't tell me you weren't doing girly feelings then."

"That was an oscar-winning performance," Gene grumbled, "even _you_ bought it."

"Shush now," Alex smiled, shoving another canapé into his mouth to render him unable to talk. "OK, Gene, we'll pretend, for argument's sake, that you've not even _dabbled_ in girly feelings." She leaned toward his ear and softly whispered, "which is a shame. Because I do like a sensitive man." She cleared her throat. "You know what they say about a sensitive man in the bedroom."

Gene froze mid-chew. He looked at Alex, hurried the end of the canapé, gulped it down and cleared his throat.

"I could be persuaded to dabble in girly feelings on a one-off basis," he told her and Alex gave him a silly smile as she continued to eat, silently trying to work out the best places to get some privacy. She licked her fingers as a little sauce ran down her hand and looked at the crowd gathered around the buffet.

"You don't think people are disappointed we chose not to have a sit down meal, do you?" she asked.

"It's a wedding, Bolly, no one's here for the food, they're all here to drink away our life savings," Gene told her, pointing to Poirot who had about three points on the go.

Alex nodded in the direction of Kim.

"I don't think everyone agrees with you," she said, watching Kim pile up another layer of food.

"Bloody hell Bolly," Gene's brow sagged with horror, "is she preparing to hibernate for the winter?"

"Well at least she seems to be over your ice cream war at last," Alex commented but she found herself biting her lip thoughtfully as she stared at Kim.

"No one should have an appetite like that," Gene told her, "I can only hope we've got enough food, she'll be starting on the furnishing's next." Alex tapped her fingers against her plate as she watched Kim fitting more mini sausage rolls in her mouth than should have been humanly possible.

"I've seen this before," she said quietly.

"Yeah, in the Guinness book of bloody records under _extreme sausage roll eating_," Gene commented as Alex got to her feet. "Where you buggering off to, Bollingerknickers?"

"I just need to speak to Kim, I'll be right back," Alex told him.

"_Thought the agreement was tuesdays and alternate weekends!"_ Gene called after her.

"Call this one of the weekends," Alex called back. She walked quickly towards her, smiling awkwardly. "Kim, hello," she said tapping her on the shoulder. Kim jumped and almost choked on a sausage roll.

"Ma'am," she spluttered, "Hi," she felt a little embarrassed and gulped her drink to clear the crumbs until she stopped spluttering. "Sorry... I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there."

Alex smiled awkwardly again and turned to Robin.

"Can I borrow Kim for a few minutes?" she asked, "I just want to talk to her."

"Sure," Robin shrugged. He glanced around. "I'll go and annoy someone else for a while."

"Behave," Kim told him, then turned back to Alex, out down her plate and brushed some of the crumbs from her fingers. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Fine, yes, everything's fine, Kim," Alex wasn't quite sure how to approach the thought on her mind. She glanced at the glass on the table and asked, "Oh... not drinking today?"

"Didn't really feel like it," Kim shrugged.

"You weren't drinking last night either," Alex observed.

"Not really been on it much lately." Kim shrugged, "I'm not exactly the lager-swilling laddette I was my first time around."

Alex have her a nervous smile.

"No, you're not," she agreed, "Well, Kim, it's just I noticed... well, I couldn't _help_ noticing, you've not been yourself this week..."

"Ohh, that bloody Surrey commute," Kim began, "it's doing me in. It just wears me out so much."

"No, that wasn't what I meant," Alex began but Kim was on a roll.

"There's the drive down, and it's been so hot this week... the long car journey makes me want to puke for a start, and then there are all those boring drones who are more used to dealing with missing Persian cats than dead bodies, and then all they do is give me more useless files -"

"I'm sorry, Kim, it sounds like a difficult case," Alex tried to work out how to steer Kim in the right direction, "however, I couldn't help noticing that you..." she hesitated and frowned, "well, you _and_ Robin, actually... in fact, yes, _definitely_ Robin... you've both been... behaving a little differently. A bit off colour. And I noticed Robin's been a little more," she tried to work out how to phrase it tactfully, "_sensitive_ than usual."

"I think the emotion of the wedding's been getting to us all, ma'am," Kim told her, glancing back longingly at her sausage rolls.

""Yes... yes, that's probably true," Alex wasn't getting anywhere fast, "however, I have been wondering if you -"

"_Stringer!"_

The boom of Gene's voice made them both jump and Kim turned around in time to see a furious Gene stomping in her direction.

"Look, I haven't done anything but talk to her!" she protested, "and besides, you never specified which weekends..."

"It's yet _other_ suitor I've got beef with!" Gene scowled. He folded his arms and glared at Kim. "Call off your highly-painted _boyfriend_ before I take those tins of his, jam one over his head and the other up his _jacksy__!"_

"Gene!" Alex cried, "I was talking to Kim!" she grimaced, "It was _important."_

"Not as important as the damage I can do to Batman if he doesn't cease his musical aspirations," Gene scowled. He glared at Kim. "So take your other half, _and_ his baked bean tin drum kit, and tell him if he ever parks his backside down in front of my feet again and tells me he's got a musical bloody treat in store, then launches into a two-tin rendition of _Here Comes the ruddy Bride_ I'm going to integrate that tin so firmly into his backside that he'll have to change his name to _Rob-Bean!"_

There was a moment of silence, and then a slightly guilty giggle from Kim.

"_Oh my god," _she blurted before she could stop herself, "Guv, did you actually just call him _Rob-Bean?"_

"It won't be a laughing matter when he starts crying all over your neck to tell you I'm being _really horrible_ to him, _will_ it, Stringer?" Gene scowled.

Kim attempted to calm her laughter.

"No, Guv, no it won't," she said, stifling another giggle, "I'll go and deal with him. I'm sorry."

As she watched Kim make her exit, Alex growled with frustration and slapped Gene on the arm.

"I was trying to _talk_ to her!" she cried.

"I was trying not to murder her bloody _fiancé,_" Gene protested.

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Never mind, doesn't matter," she groaned. She watched Kim carefully as she rushed towards Robin and tried to save him from a filing cabinet related injury. _Damnit_, she would have to wait until later. But she had a feeling that there might be more to Kim's sudden appetite than making the most of the free food.


	29. Chapter 28: Sad Simon & Speeches

**Chapter 28**

"He didn't even let me finish the first _verse!"_

"I know Rob, I know, I'm sorry," Kim rubbed Robin's back sympathetically until she realised she was missing something important. "Oh shit" Where are my sausage rolls?" She looked around and spotted them across the room. "Bugger, I'll just get them, I'll be right back."

"OK, I'll go to the loo while I'm waiting and meet you here in a sec," Robin told her. He turned and rushed towards the gents, opened the door and stepped inside humming away to himself, mentally planning out more bean-related percussion. He'd reached the urinal and got as far as undoing his zip when a meek voice piped up,

"_R-Robin? Is that you?"_

Robin froze on the spot.

"Who the hell's _that?"_ he squeaked as the door of a cubicle opened and Simon's cautious face poked around.

"It's _me,_" he said pathetically.

"What are you doing in there?" frowned Robin.

Simon swallowed.

"Hiding," he whimpered.

"From what?" Robin cried.

Simon glanced from side to side.

"Is there a slightly sozzled woman lurking outside the door with a pen?" Simon asked and Robin shook his head.

"Erm, no," he said.

Simon swallowed.

"Oh good," he said, "that's who I was hiding from." he felt brave enough to leave the confines of the cubicle as he confided, "it's a friend of Gene's from Manchester. She's trying to set me up with someone. Thinks I'm not allowed to be single because I'm Gene's son." he scowled, "I can find my _own_ boyfriend thanks very much. If I wanted one."

Robin looked at Simon a little sadly.

"No, you can't though, can you?" he said quietly. Simon froze, looking somewhat horrified.

"What?"

Robin felt awkward about saying something but he'd seen Simon on his own for such a long time and he knew there were times when he yearned for love and warmth in his life. The years he'd spent with Simon had been wonderful and he knew what a big heart Simon had. It was going to waste.

"You make yourself so isolated," he said quietly, "when have you ever asked someone out?"

Simon's expression contorted with a mix of horror, pain and mortification. He didn't want to be having this conversation. He especially did';t want to be having it with Robin.

"If I met someone I liked then I would," he said haughtily, "I'm not going to go out with someone just for the same of it. I'm not some teenager going to a school dance and needing someone on my arm for decoration, Rob."

"You didn't answer my question," Robin said quietly and Simon swallowed.

"You know the last time I asked someone out," he whispered, "it was _you_. Day of my promotion."

Robin nodded slowly.

"How many years ago with that, Simon?" he asked.

Simon hung his head as he felt his stomach churning. He knew full well how many years ago it was. He didn't need reminding.

"Rob," he began quietly, "it was bad enough when Gene's Mancunian station-auntie or whoever she was trying to fix me up with a 'nice queer boy'," he shuddered, "this isn't a conversation I'm going to have with my ex-boyfriend," he frowned, "especially not when... _little Robin_ is hanging out."

"_Oh shit,_" Robin had quite forgotten about his purpose for being in the toilets. He supposed he would have to finish his business later and zipped himself back up. He took a deep breath and tried to focus again. He could see Simon edging away and he couldn't blame him but he'd been worried about him for a long time. "Si... listen," he began quietly, "you've got so much love to give. You shouldn't be on your own. I know it took us a while to get onto an even keel after I came back -"

"I'm not still pining over you if that's what you think," Simon said quickly and Robin felt a burning sensation in his chest.

"No," he said quietly, "no, I know you;'re not." he took a deep breath, "Si... I remember, you know," he swallowed, "_about Keats."_ he saw a panicked look in Simon's eyes, "last year, after he was shot. I know you... I know the way you felt. I know you wanted to help him and bring out the human side -"

"What's he got to do with this?" Simon mumbled uncomfortably.

Robin began to wish he hadn't started this conversation but it was too late to stop now.

"Are you still waiting for him?" he asked quietly and Simon reeled in horror.

"What?" the question caught him unawares, _"no."_

"Are you sure?"

"Come off it, Rob," Simon paced to the door but Robin followed.

"Simon, Keats is gone," he said gently, "no one knows where or what he's doing now but he's not here any longer."

Simon opened his mouth to protest that Robin was talking nonsense but somewhere along the way it turned into;

"You don't know that."

Robin bit his lip.

"When was the last time you saw him, Simon?" he asked. Simon looked away, not wanting to meet Robin's stare.

"It doesn't matter," he said quietly but a moment later he whispered, "It was christmas."

"Christmas?" Robin repeated and Simon nodded, staring at the ground. He found himself sinking down the wall until he came to rest in a heap on the cold, hard floor, wrapped his arms around his knees and stared at them as he continued.

"He'd been following me. I think." he shook his head. "He was in a state. I turned around unexpectedly, he didn't want me to see him." he closed his eyes and missed out the part where they'd kissed against the door. He could almost stiil taste Keats against his lips. He found his insides quivering at the memory and tried to ignore it. "There was a card... and then the next day he left me a -"

Robin waited as Simon trailed away.

"A what?" he whispered. "bomb? A sexually transmitted disease?"

"_No!"_ cried Simon. He shrugged "A present." he looked up, "don't say a word, I don't want to hear it."

Robin hesitated.

"Hear what?"

"Sarcasm," Simon said quietly, "laughter. Whatever."

Robin bit his lip again and slowly sank to the ground beside him. He laid a hand over Simon's rubbing it softy as he looked at him seriously.

"I wasn't going to," he said seriously, "I was going to ask if you've seen him since?" he watched Simon shaking his head. "That's seven months ago, Si," Robin said softly, "seven moths to the day. How long are you going to wait for him?"

"I waited longer for you," Simon said quickly but immediately felt guilty. "Sorry," he said quietly, "sorry, Rob, I didn't mean..." he shrugged and fell into silence.

"Simon," Robin said quietly, "I do understand why you've been reluctant to move on and put yourself out there. We were together for a really long time, you've never been one for dating and playing the field."

"Not exactly me, is it?" Simon said quietly.

"I know you've got your trust issues," Robin continued, "and you're quieter here than you used to be, you've kept yourself hidden away. I know you've found it hard to make friends."

"You make me sound like the loner on the playground," Simon said quietly.

"But you can't waste your life waiting for someone who might never come back," Robin hesitated, "_Again_," he added quietly and watched Simon's face falling as he really listened to Robin's words. He hadn't even realised that's what he was doing. Shit, he'd never realised that at all. He was waiting for Keats. Just as he had for Robin. But all he'd had were glimpses of a dark coat around the corner that could have been anyone, a shadow out of the window, there was nothing solid and there never would be because Keats had gone.

"_Shit," _he whispered. He stared at the ground, scraping his toe along it. His heart felt heavy again, just as it had when he'd studied the invitation. What was wrong with him? "I'm, ugh," he cleared his throat, "I'm not exactly attracting a line of potential love interests to my door, am I?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"You don't try to meet them," Robin pointed out, "you stay in. If you _do_ go out you'll rarely talk to anyone but me and Kim. The club's full of people who you've never even tried talking to."

"They never talk to me either," Simon mumbled, "they never even _look_ at me."

"You really think that?" Robin frowned, "remember christmas eve? You came out all dressed up." Simon _did_ remember. He blushed at the memory. The purple shirt and the hair gel – he remembered the little boost Keats's kiss had given to his confidence. "You turned so many heads that night Simon. Even Marci gave you the seal of approval."

"I'm not swapping sides, even for a Spice Girl lookalike," Simon mumbled and Robin gave a gentle laugh.

"You know what I'm saying, Simon," he told him, "I thought you were turning over a new leaf, trying to meet someone. Then suddenly it was all gone again and you were back shut away with your jumper."

Simon swallowed. He stared at the floor as he shook his head.

"Who'd want me?" he whispered.

He felt Robin's arms reach around him and deliver the longest, warmest hug he could have imagined. Right there and then, there was nothing he needed more.

"_Someone who deserves you," _Robin whispered, "someone who'll give you the happiness that you deserve. Someone who'll make you feel on top of the world, not..." he drew back a little, "not drag you to the floor of the local pub toilet in anguish." He saw Simon laugh softly. That was a step in the right direction. "Simon," he told him seriously, "I mean it. Don't keep waiting around for something... _someone_... who's never coming back. Not when you could let yourself be happy."

Simon nodded and knew he had a lot of thinking to do. Robin's words stung him, but only because they were true. He had been doing all those things Robin pointed out. All those and more. He'd purposely kept himself away from any opportunity for happiness and he didn't know how to break free from that. In his heart he'd always believed that Keats was going to come back and that he would help him. But the evidence seemed to suggest that was pie in the sky.

"Rob," he said quietly, "thank you for being honest. But right now trying to find the love of my life is the furthest thing from my mind. Not you, not Keats, not... not Phyllis's friend in Manchester, not anyone at the club or anywhere else. I just want to get out of here, get a drink and revise my notes for my best man speech."

Robin nodded solemnly. He tried to smile but it was tainted with too much sadness.

"Ok," he said quietly, "come on then."

Simon got to his feet with Robin beside him and they left the toilets, both deep in thought. Robin had tried to help Simon but only ended up feeing more worried about him, while Simon now had more on his mind than messing up his speech. The emotion of the day was getting to them all, in unexpected ways.

~xXx~

Shaz sighed as she stood up and pulled her bag onto her shoulder.

"Jake, I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I don't mean to leave you on your own. I'm just not in much of a party mood."

"Oh, _please_ stay," Jake begged, "Marci's already gone home, if you go too all I'll have for company is my arm dressing!" he aimed his wounded limb in Shaz's direction as though to guilt her into staying but she wasn't going to give in.

"Sorry, Jake," she told him, "I'll just spoil your fun." She pointed, "look, there's Robin – he'll keep you stocked up with sausages on sticks and vol-au-vents."

"Shaz," Jake grabbed her hand with his good arm and pulled her back, "Shaz, wait."

"What is it?" Shaz asked a little stiffly.

"You and Marci." he noticed Shaz flinched a little, "what's happening between you?" he swallowed, feeling guilty about pressing her for information, especially when she seemed unhappy about it, "come on Shaz, she's my best friend and I'm really worried. She won't tell me what's going on."

Shaz hesitated and finally asked,

"What do you know?"

"not much," Jake shrugged helplessly, "not _anything_. Not really. She's been really ill and I haven't been able to see her very much." He looked at Shaz seriously. "She's always been able to talk to me, Shaz, always. Now she's... she's changed and I'm scared of pushing her in case I lose her. You said you were off, then you talked stuff out and today you were both there but it was like someone had turned on an ice age between you.

"Look, Jake, Marci stuffed up," Shaz interrupted loudly "and no, I'm not going to tell you what she did. If you want to know, ask _her_. But she told me that she's going to make things right and I'm trying to believe her... I need to see it for myself though, and right now I'm trying to be supportive but I'm confused. I know Marci's your best friend... and she needs you now more than ever. But don't put me in the middle of this. You two need to talk. _Properly_." she looked down, feeing guilty about her outburst. "I'm sorry. But I need some time." she took a step back and gave Jake a weak smile. "Goodbye, Jake. Enjoy the rest of the party."

"Not much to enjoy," Jake said weakly, getting to his feet as Shaz walked away. His worries for Marci were multiplying faster than a truck full of rabbits.

~x~

"Ma'am, Guv," Alex and Gene were deep in conversation when Shaz approached them, "I'm really sorry to leave early but I've had a lovely time."

"Christ, you don't look it," Gene frowned, "if this is what you're like at me wedding I'd hate you to go to my funeral."

"No, no, it's been lovely," Shaz's smile grew a little warmer, "I'm really happy for you both. It was a beautiful service," she coughed, "well, beautiful and... _unusual_,"she added.

"Thank you for coming," Alex smiled, worried by the troubled brow she was wearing. She hadn't seemed completely happy all week. She knew that Marci's unruly behaviour was causing a ripple effect throughout her friends and colleagues and could only hope things would settle down soon.

"Have a lovely honeymoon," Shaz told them.

"We will," Alex smiled.

"Spending four weeks worrying about whether we've got a bloody station to come back to or whether you're all going to have replaced the walls with rainbows," Gene mumbled.

"Ignore him, Gene Hunt doesn't _do_ holidays, apparently," Alex told Shaz.

"Oh," shaz smiled a little warily. "Well, I'll be getting home then. Goodbye Ma'am, bye Guv."

"See you soon, Shaz," Alex said with a little wave but turned back to Gene with a slightly heavy heart. "What is going on?" she sighed.

"I don't know, Bolly, but we need to hurry up with the bloody speeches," Gene told her, "our guests are disappearing faster than –" he looked around and focused on the buffet, "_than Stringer's plate of sausage rolls!"_ he concluded, watching her shove another one into her mouth, sending flaky pastry crumbs all over her smart tuxedo and looking a little guilty as she brushed them away.

"Ahh, yes, _Kim_," Alex sighed, "that reminds me, I need to speak to her."

"It'll have to wait 'til after the speeches," Gene told her as he got to his feet, "need to get Shoebury up on that podium, bigging up the adventures of my macho prowess before we lose the rest of the bloody guests."

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Alright, _fine,"_ she said, "but make sure Simon has an umbrella. _Someone_ seems to have been hoarding water balloons for just such an occasion..."


	30. Chapter 29: Clues, Cheers & Creeps

**Chapter 29**

"_Ow!_ Alright, alright, I'm _moving! _Stop _poking_ me!" Simon cried as Gene pushed him towards Kim and Robin with one finger.

"What's going on?" Kim demanded as Simon barrelled into her, knocking sausage rolls in all directions.

"Didn't want to waste my breath on this twice," Gene began, "_speeches_." Kim and Simon both groaned, "I'll start. I will regale our esteemed colleagues with tales of how I scored big in the bedroom stakes. Stringer, you'll be up next, and then Shoebury."

"Even in _this_ I'm last," Simon mumbled.

"One more word of complaint and the _filing_ cabinet will be making the final speech, directly to the back of your head!" Gene barked, "_got_ it?"

Simon swallowed.

"Yes, I believe so," he gulped.

"Good." Gene began to pace away to prepare for his moment of glory, leaving the three of them exchanging a glance.

"how did we even get roped into this?" Simon groaned.

Before anyone could respond Fletcher approached with the remains of his buffet choices on a plate. He finished eating a mini quiche and smiled.

"Good afternoon, all," he began.

The three of them felt somewhat apprehensive.

"Erm, afternoon," Robin gave a slight wave.

"I wanted to discuss with you the arrangements for the next four weeks," Fletcher began, "as you're aware the happy couple have a lot of holiday leave owing to them. They've decided to take a month away for their honeymoon rather than lose those days completely."

The three faces nodded. Alex and Gene were panning to spend three weeks in sunny Spain and a week in Manchester. Gene had decided that, now they were married, Alex was an 'honorary Manc' and therefore needed to spend time in his home town. The thought of staying away from the station for so long was one that neither Alex nor Gene were completely relaxed about but even they had to admit a honeymoon was more worthwhile than work.

"What's happening to CID while they're away?" Simon asked before his eyes bolted, "Oh _no_... no, no, no, please don't drag me in, I hate covering!"

"Fret not, DCI Shoebury, you're not required this time," Fletcher told him. He turned to Kim. "DCI Hunt has requested that _you_ keep CID ticking over while he's away."

"_Me?" _Kim's eyes opened wide and she almost choked on a sausage roll, "what, actually me? Are you sure he wasn't being sarcastic, sir?"

"No, no, he was quite serious," Fletcher told her, "he told me that putting you in temporary charge was the only way to," he paused trying to remember the quote, "_make sure that Fenchurch doesn't descend into a pit of depressingly desperate debauchery and destruction while his boots are headed for sunnier climes._" He turned to Kim again. "so that's a yes?"

Kim was still a little open mouthed and surprised. That was his car _and_ his office he'd entrusted to her in one day.

"Well, bloody hell... of course," she ran a hand through her hair, "Yes, of course, that's... that's _fine_," she tried very hard not to smile. It was strange, she thought, that Gene was someone who antagonised her so much and yet gaining his approval made her feel so proud. She nodded. "I'll do my best to prevent all that... debauchery and destruction."

"Excellent," Fletcher nodded, "Thank you, DCI Stringer." He turned around, "now, if you'll excuse me I must go back to the buffet and get seconds before everything goes. Someone's been going through those sausage rolls like they were peanuts."

Kim's cheeks reddened and she burped under her breath.

"Have they now?" she mumbled;.

"Have a good afternoon," Fletcher told them and began to walk away, then turned back and peered under his jacket momentarily before he asked them, "By the way, can you possibly think of another word for undefined? Maybe five letters? Possibly ends with an E?"

Robin frowned.

"_Vague?_" he asked.

Fletcher checked his jacket again and smirked.

"Thank you, Chief Inspector, most helpful," he said and hurried away to fill in the word before he forgot.

"Wait, was he packing a _crossword?!"_ cried Simon but before they had a chance to dwell on it there was a funny chinking noise and they looked up to see Gene standing on a chair, tapping his glass with a spoon, incrementally louder with each passing moment until finally the glass shattered and he swore profusely.

"_Just shut the bloody hell up!"_ he barked finally as someone came to sweep up the glass. The room fell silent and the sea of faces turned to a slightly red-faced Gene as he cleared his throat. "God, I've seen more decorum in the monkey enclosure at London _Zoo!"_ he waited while someone furnished him with another glass before he continued. "Right. Today I had the extreme pleasure of making Alex Drake..." he turned to catch her eye, "DCI Bollyknickers to you and me... my wife." there were a few cheers and whistles which he cut short with a grunt. "Do you want to hear my wit and wisdom or not?" Even though he heard a couple of _'No'_s and a _'nope'_ he ignored that and focused on his speech. "Right," he pulled a card from his pocket and stared at it but there had been a few champagnes supped since their arrival at the pub and the words were swimming more than usual. _Bugger. Do it from memory,_ "She doesn't look a day older than the moment she arrived..." there were only 4 people in the audience who got the joke and of those only Alex laughed. "When she first showed up in her prozzie gear -"

"_Gene!" _Alex hissed, her eyes widening in horror.

"I thought, _this one'll cost a pretty penny._.."

Alex wrapped her arms around her top as though to cover her cleavage.

"I wasn't _actually_ a prostitute, you know!" she hissed as several faces turned to her.

"But I didn't realise she was going to eventually lead to me spending a pretty penny on booze to keep it flowing down _your_ necks while you watched us tying the knot," Gene continued. He glanced at Kim, "or on sausage rolls," he added pointedly and Kim froze, mid-chew, then put down her plate in embarrassment as the congregation turned to her.

"It's not like I ate _all_ of them!" she protested with a slight hiccup.

Gene stared at his card again. The words still made little sense. He sighed and shoved it back in his pocket.

"Doesn't really matter what I wrote on here," he told them, "I can think of better uses to put me lips to."

"_Way-hey!_" the crowd whooped and cheered as Gene flapped his hand at them,

"_Like,_" he began loudly, "telling my beautiful wife..." he turned to Alex. There was a strange look upon her face. Had he ever called her that before? He wasn't sure. He lowered his vice as he looked at her, "telling her," he continued, trying not to let emotion break his voice, "that she's made my world what it is. And I couldn't be without her." He aimed a glass in her direction. "_Missus Alex Hunt," _he said and watched her face turn red as a smile grew across it.

"_To missus Alex Hunt,"_ the rest of the gathering cheered, clapping, sipping their drinks and muttering to one another. Alex seemed to bob up and down on the spot, desperate to grab Gene and hug him but he needed to call the next person first.

"Now, normally the father of the bride would say a few words," Gene continued, "but the closest thing we've got to a moany old man is Shoebury and he's up last."

Simon stared on in horror as the others around them laughed a little too hard.

"Thanks a _lot_, Gene!" he cried.

"So here's DCI Stringer with a few words for you all," Gene continued, "a word of advice; hide yer wives," he glanced at Kim, "and yer sausage rolls."

An angry-faced Kim stomped towards him holding a sausage roll, briefly explained where she was going to stick it and scared Gene to the opposite side of the pub as she stepped up onto the chair. She stared out over the faces around them, feeling slightly unnerved. It wasn't something that she usually felt. But there were some situations that even _Kim_ found daunting. She took a deep breath and looked out over the room.

"I've never made a speech before," she began, her voice shaking just a little, "and I don't expect it will happen again. But I want to say a few words about the bride and groom." She swallowed and looked towards them as Gene grew brave enough to venture back to Alex. "because they're very special people, and every one of us knows that," she said. Her eyes closed for a moment. "The things they do for everyone... for this city... keeping it safe. Keeping the streets clean. For us. Looking after _all_ of us. The things they do for each other. The way they have beaten all the odds to be together," she glanced at Alex and could see tears in her eyes. She knew exactly what she was thinking about. It was the same thing playing through Kim's mind. Alex's route home to Gene had been the darkest moment imaginable for both of them. Neither would ever get over it. "On behalf of all of us," Kim said quietly, "thank you. Thank you, Ma'am. Thank you, Guv. Thank you for looking after your team like they were -" she hesitated, hoping her words didn't sound trite, "like we're your family," she said. She saw Alex look down with a smile and Gene trying not to show any emotion as she carried on, "now it's _your_ turn for the happiness that you deserve. Concentrate on looking after each other and enjoy your honeymoon. The rest of the station is in safe hands. We'll look after it for you. Enjoy your holiday," she raised her glass, "and enjoy the rest of your lives. Because you bloody deserve it."

There was a little applause and a few cried of '_here here' _as the crowd toasted the happy couple again and Kim stepped down, feeling strangely choked up, where she found herself swallowed into a warm hug from Alex.

"_Kim, thank you,_" she whispered.

"It's all true," Kim said quietly, "the things you do for everyone... we all owe you so much,."

"You owe me so much for those bloody sausage rolls," Gene told her and scarpered before she could threaten him. _"Oi, Shoe-boy! You're next!"_

"Oh great," Simon said in a monotone voice,"I can hardly wait for this next round of humiliation."

"_Come on, Simon!" _Bammo cheered but found himself wishing he'd left his mouth shut as Kim launched herself in his direction, flattened him to the ground, confiscated his entire collection of water balloons and used them to demonstrate exactly why messing with her best friend was not a good idea.

Simon climbed onto the chair, glanced at the soggy Bammo and did a double take. He tried to ignore the dripping idiot as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper on which lay his speech;_ typed, Arial, font size 12._ he cleared his throat and began.

"When Gene first asked me to be his best man," his voice shook has he spoke, "I was really, really shocked."

"Why? Because you're the _worst_ man?" Poirot heckled.

"With the worst jumper," Terry added.

Simon ignored them.

"You see, me and Gene haven't always seen eye to eye."

"_That's cos you're about eight foot tall and resemble a giraffe,"_ Poirot called out to a smattering of laughter from the gathering.

Simon scowled in his direction, attempting to use his super secret eye-lasers to cut him down to size before he remembered he didn't _have_ super secret eye-lasers and tried to return to his speech instead.

"Me and Gene had never seen eye to eye," he repeated, quickly adding, _"and it has nothing to do with my height!"_ he glared at Terry and Poirot, just daring them to say one more word before he continued; "we came from different worlds," he glanced at Gene, "_literally_." He saw Gene give a half-smile and look down awkwardly, "Gene is a man of action, I am a man of thought. Gene is a man of strength, I'm a man of logic. Gene is a man of leadership and I'm -"

"_A nerd," _one voice cried out.

_"Arnold Rimmer,"_ yelled another.

"_As gay as the day is long," _cried a third and Simon slammed his speech down as hard as he could considering it was only a sheet of paper and glared at the crowd. Even Gene was laughing.

"_Great," _he cried, "thanks for putting me on stage to be humiliated by the entire station!" he turned to Gene, "happy wedding, have a nice life, hope you don't accidentally choke on the cake."

He stepped off the stool, got his foot caught in the bar, tripped over and finally stomped out of the room with laughter ringing in his ears.

"Simon, _Simon wait!"_ Robin called "where are you going?"

"To get some air!" Simon cried.

"Come back -" Robin tried but Kim held him back.

"Let him have some space," she told him.

"I'm _worried -"_

"You know Simon," Kim urged him, "he needs to cool off first. We'll just make it worse."

As he stomped away and their voices faded into the background, Simon didn't know whether to be pleased with Kim for giving him space or pissed off that she'd insinuated he was hot-headed. Not that she was wrong. Bloody hell. He really _was_ Gene's son.

He stormed through the pub and put into the car park, coming to rest against a wall quite heavily. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, once, twice, three times, trying to settle his anger a little but on the third inhalation he caught the scent of flowers and opened his eyes to see where the fragrance was coming from. The large floral display that greeted him was only the second biggest shock of the day. The biggest shock came as his line of vision rose to take in the face of their owner. Quite instantly his heart did a somersault and he felt his knees weaken beneath him as he stared on, open mouthed. It felt as though the silence might just last a lifetime. Finally hebreathed in, clutched a hand to his chest and eventually drew together some semblance of sense to ask the only question in his head;

"What in the name of fucking hell are _you_ doing here?"


	31. Chapter 30: Flowers, Fear & Fleeing

**Chapter 30**

Keats swallowed and his lips moved but no sound came from within. His dark eyes were wide and bloodshot as though he hadn't slept for weeks. Perhaps he hadn't. His hair looked dry and unkempt as though he'd barely remembered to run a brush through it in months and his skin seemed weathered and sallow. He's definitely lost weight, his face appeared thin and gaunt while his clothes, although smart, seemed to hang around him like a kid who was waiting to grow into them.

For as much of a shock as his arrival was to Simon, the fact he was there was never more of a shock to anyone than to Keats himself.

"I don't know," he whispered eventually, struggling to find his voice. He spoke so rarely these days that he'd almost forgotten how, "I don't _know_ what I'm doing here."

Simon stared on in disbelief, glancing from side to side as though expecting him to vanish like a mirage. How the hell was this _happening?_ After Robin's pep talk earlier the timing was too strange. Had Keats been spying on him? Did he just _know?_ Or... or had life handed out one of those strange moments that happened ever now and then?

"_Why_ are you here?" Simon demanded again before shaking his head and asking one he cared about more, "where have you been?" he knew his heart was racing. He could feel it beating too hard and too fast, and his hands trembled as he grasped at the wall, just trying to find a way to distract himself. "Where the _hell_ have you been?" he rephrased his question a little more severely, "I haven't seen you since _Christmas_. I've been to your flat, I've been to the other house, I've tried looking over half the bloody _city_ for you." It was true, he had, even though he hadn't even admitted to himself what he'd been doing. Ever since Keats had run from him on Christmas eve there had been a little pang of worry in Simon's chest.

"Don't know," Keats whispered, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"How can you not know where you've _been?"_ Simon was shaking now from head to toe, the shock filtering through to every part of his body.

"B and B," Keats's voice shook as he spoke, "park bench. Wherever."

"What are you doing here _now?"_ Simon whispered, "fuck, this is Alex and Gene's _wedding_ day!"

"I know," Keats seemed to struggle with every word, "I _know_. That's why I'm here." His hands shook wildly as he held out the flowers, "I... I brought them these," he swallowed, "flowers for the happy couple."

"_Flowers?"_ Simon cried, his expression caught in several different directions, "you... you brought them fucking _flowers?"_

"Yeah," Keats seemed to gain a little confidence although his laughter was as false as it could be as he said, "why? Didn't think they were for _you_, did you?"

"I don't... I don't know what I..." Simon's eyes dropped to the bouquet in Keats's hand. Amongst the varied blooms there were certain stems that looked extremely familiar and he felt a weird throbbing in his belly as the wildest of butterflies began to move inside of him. "_Oh my god,"_ his hand rose to his mouth as his eyes widened, "you _did_. They were for _me."_ He noticed that a wave of panic spread over Keats's face as he carried on. "You came to my flat, this morning. You brought the flowers and then you legged it with them."

"Don't be so fucking..." Keats began to laugh a protest but his eyes told a different story to his words and they filled with panic as he saw the look of sheer and complete realization that filled Simon's features.

"Shit, it really _was_ you," he swallowed as his stomach made leaps inside of him like he'd never felt before, "there was a flower... one dropped by the doormat..." he closed his eyes, "I was wearing it..."

"Don't talk gibberish," Keats gave a sarcastic laugh but it sounded extremely stiff and false as Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out the now utterly dead and half crumpled carnation. He felt silly and self-conscious as he stared at it, aware his hand was shaking.

"I thought it was supposed to be for my buttonhole," he said quietly, "I was wearing it, and even after Gene tore me off a strip for it and made me take it out I didn't throw it away because somehow," he closed his eyes, "somehow I knew it was supposed to be for me."

Keats glared at him, trying to find a way to deny it but the carnation, although deceased, so clearly came from the bouquet that he couldn't think of a way to escape the truth. His smile had disappeared, he had no strength left for turning up the sarcasm and all that was left was the laden stare between himself and Simon; Simon desperate for answers and Keats desperate to keep them at bay.

It was too much, it was _all_ just too much for him. How suddenly the pressure and the fear built up inside of him. It exploded with an intensity that grasped him by the shoulder and physically pulled him away, a sight that filed Simon with frustration and fear.

"_Keats,"_he began warningly as he watched the man stepping backwards and letting his flowers fall to the floor, "Keats, don't walk away from me again. Do _not_ walk away from me again!" But Keats's eyes were wide and his expression stricken as he realised where he was and what he was doing. A wave of panic grasped him hard enough to set his feet pounding, one after the other. "_Keats!"_ Simon screamed. Oh _god_, no, not again, he wasn't going to go through this again. Before he knew what he was doing he started to run, forcing himself on at a pace he rarely ever reached, chasing the frantic form of Keats as he tried to escape a situation that he didn't even know how he'd started in the first place. "Not this time," he cried, reaching forward, his fingers brushing the material of Keats's collar, "You're not running away from me this time!"

Perhaps Keats was weak from the lack of food and sleep and everything else that he'd clearly been through. Or maybe Simon was just more determined than usual. Either way, he seemed to put on a burst of speed that saw his fingers grasp Keats's clothing and pulling him to a halt.

"Get _off_ me," Keats growled but Simon couldn't. Not after everything. He pulled him towards the wall, being careful not to make him feel trapped – the last thing he wanted was to scare him further – and looked at him seriously.

"Keats, stop it, _please_," Simon pleaded as he stared him in the eye, _"just stop._" Keats seemed to freeze up, out of words and out of strength, "don't run away again. You ran away at christmas. You've run too many times." he could see Keats's breathing quicken, like a scared little animal, a baby bird who'd fallen from the nest, waiting for someone to protect him. That's what Simon wanted to do, more than _anything_. He'd seen the human Keats seeping through so many times, and now it was prevalent for so much of the time and yet the monster wasn't quite relinquishing its grasp over him. _"I want to help you,"_ he whispered, waiting for Keats to respond but he stared on; anxious, desperate, out of words and out of fight. Simon pulled him a little closer. "I get that you're scared," he breathed. His gaze was fixed on Keats's and he seemed scared even to blink, "hey, join the club. You're not the only one."

Keats shook his head as he panted for breath, but his words told a different story.

"_Fucking terrified,"_ he whispered.

Simon nodded slowly, staring into his eyes. They were as dark and deep as he'd ever seen but there was something different reflected in them now.

"What are you scared of, Keats?" he whispered, "being human? Being _here_?" he hesitated, _"me?"_

Keats gave the most anxious laugh that Simon had ever heard.

"All of the above," He whispered. He swallowed and closed his eyes before his lips let forth words he wasn't sure he should he sharing. "_I've seen you sometimes."_

Simon hesitated.

"_Seen_ me?"

Keats took a deep breath.

"Watched you," he whispered, "caught you through your window or walking down the road. Seen you in the club or the pub."

"You've been following me?" Simon wasn't sure whether he was asking Keats or telling him. Either way there was a stiff, reluctant nod.

"Sort of," he conceded.

Simon swallowed as his heart pounded.

"Why?" he asked seriously and he watched Keats crumble with confusion.

"Don't know, Simon," he shook his head, "why is it you? Why is it _always_ you?" he looked Simon in the eye.

"Why is _what_ me?" Simon whispered, and an angry burst of energy came forth from Keats.

"Why is it _you_ who's always_ there?" _he cried, "when I have those..._ moments?"_

"When you're human?" Simon whispered but Keats shook his head violently.

"Not just that!" he cried. He panted a little as his heart raced and he clenched his fists, "moments where... I can't _control_ it," he hissed.

"Control what?" Simon whispered.

"When I look at you and I want..." Keats froze, his stare locked on Simon, "_want_..." he swallowed and blinked, words jammed in his throat, a throbbing pain in his groin as he tried not to acknowledge the thoughts that were there inside his mind. No, wait, it wasn't a pain. It was... oh shit, it was _that_ again.

"Keats?" Simon's voice was soft and gentle and sent a quiver through his stomach, "Keats? What is it?" He found Simon's face closer, staring into his eyes, "can you talk to me?" To Keats's horror he felt Simon taking his hands and holding them. He stared down at them in shock, then back at Simon. It was a sensation that was foreign to Keats, almost abhorrent to him and yet he couldn't pull away. "_Please_? If you don't tell me the I can't help you."

Keats blinked. He swallowed and stared at Simon, his whole body trembling.

"Why do you make me feel this way?" he breathed before he could stop himself, but a moment later he flinched and the question came out in a different way. "Why do you make me_ feel?"_

Simon swallowed. Hre grasped Keats's hands a little more tightly and looked him in the eye.

_"You're feeling,"_ he whispered, "that's progress."  
#

"I don't _want_ to," Keats trembled.

"You're getting there."

"I don't _want_ to!"

"You have to _feel_, Keats," Simon whispered, "you're _human_, underneath it all your'e _human_." He stared into Keats's eyes, swallowing hard as he caught sight of Keats's tongue skimming his lips, almost as though he wanted something. Simon know how these moments usually ended up. "Let that part of you come out."

For a moment Keats's lips moved almost imperceptibly, twitching with words he couldn't say and actions he couldn't take. But an instant later he shuddered and a strange look came over his face. He pulled his hands violently from Simon's, took a step back and shook his head viciously.

"What would _you_ know, Simon?" he spat, "th#ere's only one kind of coming out _you_ want me to do and that's never going to happen."

Simon felt himself deflating in an instant as he stared at Keats, scarcely believing that he was losing him, _again_.

"Keats, no, _please_," he begged, his face creased with sadness, "you _came_ here. You came to _see_ me. You _want_ me to _help_ you, so let# me!"

"The only thing you can help me with is leaving me the fuck _alone,"_ cried Keats as he began to back away, then turned ang started running, running for all he was worth, and this time when Simon tried to take chase he knew he has no chance of catching him.

"_Keats!"_ he creied out, "this is the last time you run away from me! I _swear_ it! If you run away now then that's it." He felt his heart thumping as tears pricked his eyes, desperate to burst forth. "_Keats!"_ he screamed, "that's _it_. It's _over_. You've wasted your last chance. The next time you turn around I'm not going to be waiting!" he scrubbed angrily at his eye as an angry tear started to escape. "_Keats!"_ he screamed, but the man showed no sign of stopping and Simon had no choice but to turn around and walk away.

Robin's earlier words rang through his head. He was right, and Simon had known it, but their little confrontation just went to show it. Whatever he felt for Keats, he had to forget it. He needed to put it in the past and focus on the future because no matter how much he wanted to help the man Keats was never going to let him and Simon was always going to end up watching him running away with a pain in his heart and a swelling in his pants.

"Shit," he cursed and he stormed back towards the pub, "it's _over_, Keats. _Fuck you." _

As he came to the door he found the flowers still lying on the ground where Keats had dropped them as he fled the first time. Simon swore as he swept them up. He stared at them for a moment. A part of him still wanted to keep them but a look of fury overcame his face and he threw them hard against the wall of the pub where the bouquet came dramatically apart and flowers fluttered to the ground like an explosion in an Interflora store

They were still falling as he marched inside, avoiding the function room by heading straight to the bar. He bowed his head, refusing to look the barman in the eye as he asked,

"What can I get you?"

"Scotch. A double," Simon cursed himself as he started to feel like he was turning more into Gene with every day that passed, but all he really cared about was the glass that appeared in front of him as he handed over the money. The scotch soon disappeared but the dark feeling in his heart refused to go anywhere. The man was afraid, the monster even more so and all he ever left Simon with was hurt.

"_And flowers,"_ he murmured.

_Forget him. Forget Keats. It's never going to happen._ He chanted those words to himself over and over like a mantra.

Unfortunately just saying it didn't make it any easier.


	32. Chap 31: Tiers, Tears &Tragic Affairs

**Chapter 31**

"Where's Simon? They're going to cut the cake."

Kim glanced around but could see no sign of him.

"Is he still sulking?" she wondered.

"I never saw him come back after his speech," Robin told her.

Kim sighed and closed her eyes.

"Alright, wait here, I'm going to go and look for him," she began but a sudden Alex appearing before her halted her plans.

"Kim," she smiled but seemed a little hesitant, "can I have a word?"

"Um, sure," Kim frowned, "is everything OK?"

"It's fine," Alex nodded, "just wanted to see how you were, that's all."

Kim frowned a little in confusion.

"Uh," she began, "I was just about to look for Simon -" she began but Robin tapped her on the arm.

"I'll have a look for him," he said and Kim smiled.

"Thanks Rob," she said.

"I won't take up much of her time," Alex promised him, "you can have her back in five minutes."

"That's OK," Robin laughed, "I'm not as stringent on scheduling as your new husband."

Kim's brow wrinkled in confusion as she watched Robin head off, checking for Simon under tables and in plant pots.

"What the hell's he doing?" Kim wondered, "like Simon's going to fit in _there!"_

"Kim," Alex began. She looked around, wishing for a slightly less public setting. "Kim, is there anything bothering you? Anything playing on your mind?" she paused, "anything you might like to talk about?"

Kim hesitated, unsure what to say. There _wasn't_, not really. Well not unless...

"Oh _god_, please don't tell me Rob's been making a nuisance of himself with those bean tins again?"

"No, not as far as I know," Alex told her.

"I _warned_ him, I said, _you can get away with it one time, don't push your luck!"_

"No, that's not it," Alex promised her.

"He's been practising the last three days..."

"No, it's nothing to do with his baked bean drum kit," Alex began, then hesitated, "although... it _is_, in a _way_.." she paused, "have you noticed Robin... favouring... certain foods at all lately?"

Kim froze. She looked Alex in the eye and felt a wave of realisation washing over her.

"Ma'am," she began, "I know what you're thinking."

Alex hesitated.

"You do?" Kim nodded. "And?"

"And there's no need to worry," Kim said quietly, "I supervised him every step of the way."

Alex frowned.

"What?"

"I can guarantee you that there are _no_ baked beans in any tier of that cake."

Alex closed her eyes and groaned.

"No, Kim, that actually wasn't what I -"

"_Kim!"_ Robin's urgent voice interrupted her, "Kim, I _found_ him."

"He's OK, isn't he?" Kim asked, worried by Robin's anxious tone.

"Not really, he said a little breathlessly, "I found him at the bar, out in the pub."

"What's he doing out there?" frowned Kim, "is he still sulking?"

"No," Robin shook his head, "but he's out of his head. I don't know what's happened. He won't talk to me. He says he wants you."

"_Me?"_ Kim frowned, "why? Oh god, what have I done?"

"I don't think you've done anything," Robin told her, "he just wants his best friend."

Kim felt herself growing more worried for Simon and turned to Alex.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry "

"It's fine," Alex said with a wobbly smile, "you go and make sure he's OK."

Kim nodded.

"I'll be back as soon as I can,"

Alex sighed as she watched Kim disappearing.

"Oh Kim," she groaned to herself, "you can be as blind as a bat when you want to be," she shook her head.

"Why? What's happened?" Robin asked, sitting down and rubbing his lower leg.

Alex frowned.

"What's the matter with _you?"_ she asked.

"My ankles have swollen up," Robin pouted and Alex looked as though she was about to explode.

"_And you're just as bad!_" she barked, a terrified Robin falling from his chair.

"_What? _What have _I_ done?" he cried.

Alex marched away in frustration, mumbling threats about baked bean tins being stuck in uncomfortable places as she went.

~xXx~

"Simon?" Kim's voice was softer than Simon was used to hearing it. The gentle hand on his shoulder as she sank onto the stool beside him was the first thing give him peace of mind for the last hour. "Simon, what's going on?"

Simon turned to look at her. She seemed to be moving around in a circle. Shit, how many had he had? There had been at least two... maybe three double measures?

"What's wrong with me, Kim?" he asked her, trying not to slur.

"Simon, there's nothing wrong with you," Kim told him softly, pulling back a little as she added, "aside from the breath that could strip the paint off the walls. How much have you had?"

"Not sure," Simon hiccuped.

"What brought this on?" Kim asked, "the speech -"

Simon shook his head.

"Nothing to do with that," he mumbled, "not worth wasting the booze on."

"Then what?"

Simon blinked and turned to the half-empty glass in his hand.

"Robin was right," he mumbled, "totally and utterly right."

"About what?"

"Me. Waiting round for something that's never going to happen," he looked back at Kim, "because that's what I do. I wait for people because..." he flinched. He wasn't even _sure_ why, "because I want to show them I'm faithful and loyal. And I want them to prove the same to me." He hung his head miserably, "and time passes me by. And life goes on. And I'm still..." he started to get angrier, "...still stuck here at the bar, drinking alone."

Kim didn't know what had sparked his lone drinking session, nor why he was feeling so melancholy but it worried her terribly.

"Simon," she began, "come back to the reception. We're worried about you. If you're feeling depressed you shouldn't be drinking alone, that's the _worst_ thing you can do."

"No, the worst thing I could do would be to go and sleep with -" he froze as he realised whose name he was about to say, and then as he realised that's exactly what he wished he was doing right then, "_Fuck."_

Kim rubbed his shoulder and looked art him seriously.

"You might not be wearing the jumper but you've got the same expression on your face," she said quietly, "I used to see it every night when you were pining for Robin." he paused, taking a deep breath. "Are you... I mean., I know this is... _awkward_... do you still have feelings for him?" Simon shook his head. "...Feelings for someone _else?"_ She noticed he seemed to freeze, "someone you.. can't have?"

Simon swallowed and looked away.

"Someone I'm never _going_ to have," he mumbled, "and I've just about realised that tonight." He downed the rest of his scotch and held up his hand. "Another one," he told the barman but Kim placed her hand over his and pulled it down.

"I think my friend's had enough of the hard stuff for one night," she told him, "how about just getting him a beer," she reached into the pocket of her trousers., "on me."

Simon stared at the bar.

"Thanks, Kim," he mumbled.

Kim bit her lip as she stared at him worriedly. She knew she had to get back to the reception but she didn't want to leave Simon alone

"_Please_ come back in, Si?" she begged.

"Sorry," Simon shook his head, "last thing I need is being around loved-up couples."

Kim slowly stood up and rubbed his shoulders.

"Don't stay here drinking yourself into oblivion" she urged him, "come back in with us when you feel ready. Or go home and throw on the jumper. But please don't self-destruct, Simon."

"I won't," Simon promised her. He gave her a grateful smile. "So glad I've got my best friend back.

"Hey," Kim gave him an awkward hug around the neck, "me too. And since I'm back, I'm going to worry about you. It's my prerogative." she smiled as she stepped back and he gave her a nod, happy to see the foaming pint appear in front of him

"Thanks, Kim," he said quietly.

Kim gave him a worried smile and turned to head back to reception. She wished Simon would let her do more to help him. She wished he would tell her what was wrong. But as it was, she would just have to hope that he'd get himself through this dark time and come back fighting before winter descended and the jumper weather came back again.

~xXx~

"I can feed _myself,_ you know!"

"You've got an injured arm, I'm just trying to help!"

Jake laughed and turned his head away as Robin aimed a sausage on a stick in his direction.

"I _can_ manage a few things from the buffet, it's not like I'm trying to cut up a steak!" he cried.

"There's no helping some people!" Robin protested, returning the snack to the plate and trying not to laugh at Jake's expression.

"Hey, Rob."

Robin glanced up at the sound of Kim's voice.

"Oh hey," Robin stood up "what's going on?"

"I don't know, Rob, what did he say to you earlier?" Kim paused, "or more to the point, what did you say to him?"

"Why?" Robin frowned.

"He wasn't making much sense," Kim said quietly, "he says you were right?"

Robin frowned, trying to work out what she meant and their earlier conversation came back to him.

"_Shit..."_

"What?"

Robin hesitated. He was reluctant to bring up the subject of Keats after everything Kim had been through and he wasn't sure how much she knew about Simon's feelings for the man. He bit his lip.

"I was talking with Simon earlier," he began, "about trying to make a new start. Getting out there, meeting someone. I guess he's taken it to heart."

Kim looked anxious.

"He was talking about... _waiting_ for someone," she said.

Robin hesitated.

"Did he say who?"

Kim shook her head.

But I think we both know who," she whispered, "don't we?"

Robin looked down and nodded slowly. It still made him feel sick to his stomach to think of it. But he remembered the look on Simon's face as Keats took a bullet back in December, and all he went through to make sure Keats's younger self was taken care of when he awoke from his coma.

"He really thought he could make him human," Robin whispered, trying not to let Jake hear anything he wouldn't understand, "but he's long-gone. He's been missing for months. Maybe it's just hit him."

Kim nodded slowly.

"Maybe you did him some good, she said.

"I don't want him to be lonely.

Kim nodded.

"I don't think he wants to be lonely either," she said quietly, "not any more."

Robin nodded slowly.

"Then maybe that talk _was_ what he needed," he gave a little shrug but before they could carry on their conversation Gene appeared with a exceedingly large knife and Robin jumped out of his skin. "Jesus Christ, haver you come to slay a _dragon_ or something?" he cried.

"Cake cutting time, Batman," he told him "this thing had better be worth the dosh we gave you for the honour."

"That is a world class cake!" Robin told him.

"Unlike yer effigies," Gene told him.

"My what?"

"Doesn't even look like me and my blushing bride," Gene told him.

"It's a traditional bride and groom topper!" Robin cried.

"_I haven't got any ruddy arms!_" Gene cried.

"it's just a model!" cried Robin, "it's not supposed to be lifelike!"

"Just as well I've made a few adjustments to it myself,|" Gene told him and Robin narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean _adjustments?_" he scowled, stomping off to inspect the damage for himself. A blood-curdling scream came from close to the cake as he found what Gene had done. "_Kim's_ going to _kill_ you!"

A furious Kim turned her glare onto Gene.

"Am I now?" she growled, "I suppose I'd better inspect the damage for myself." She flexed her knuckles as she stomped away, "and then see how much damage I need to do to the _groom_," she muttered.

~xXx~

"Another one?"

Simon's eyes rose as the barman hovered over his pint glass. Simon was barely coherent and struggled to focus on his features but nodded slowly.

"One for the road," he said with a somewhat pained hiccup.

"I hope you're not going to drive after the amount you've had," the barman told him.

Simon sat up a little straighter.

"One for the road, in a taxi," he said and the barman gave a little smile. He looked at Simon as he began to pull him another pint.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing," he began, "You've got girlfriend troubles?" Simon shook his head. "Boyfriend troubles?"

Simon hesitated, then looked down with a sigh as the pint appeared in front of him.

"He's not my boyfriend," he mumbled, staring into the foam.

The barman nodded slowly.

"So the flowers all over the car park," he began and Simon wanted to shrink into the floor, "were they because he _wanted_ to be your boyfriend or _didn't_ want to be your boyfriend?"

Simon wiped his node on his sleeve.

"He's having enough trouble deciding whether he wants to be human or not, he's not even getting close to boyfriend material until he stops leaving trails of fire where he walks."

The barman laughed, not even realising how much truth lay beneath Simon's sarcasm.

"Well, not to talk out of turn but he doesn't sound like someone I'd want as my _plus one_ anyway." He waited for Simon to respond but all he did was drink his beer. "Hard having a row on the day of a wedding, isn't it?" he pointed to Simon's corsage, "you part of the wedding party?"

Simon nodded, barely meeting the man's eye.

"Best man," he gave a mocking laugh, "I'd get fired from that post if the groom knew what just happened on the car park."

The barman hesitated for a moment, sweeping a cloth along the bar to wipe up a few pools of condensation before he cleared his throat.

"If you're planning on taking a bit more time over that pint than you did the last one," he began, "I'm finishing in five minutes. I might join you for one." He saw a look of horror cross Simon's face "it's not some kind of come-on! I'm not waiting to pounce on heartbroken patrons!" He sighed. "it's my last day here. Starting a new job on Monday. Could do with a drink to mark it." Simon still looked hesitant. "And let's face it, if you find you hate my guts you're never going to see me again."

"That's a good point," Simon said, finally giving a little smile.

"Think it over," the barman told him, "if you're still here when I take my tie off in five minutes time I'll bring my drink over. If not. No problem."

Simon nodded slowly with Robin's words running through his mind. Usually he wouldn't even be open to talking to a stranger in a pub. It was no wonder he couldn't even make friends, let alone find love again.

"I'll still be here," he said.

The barman smiled and held out his hand.

"I'm Michael, by the way."

Simon hesitated for a second, before he reached out and shook the man's hand.

"Simon," he said.

"Pleased to meet you, Simon," Michael nodded he stepped back and threw the tea towel over his shoulder. "I'll join you round the other side."

"You do that," Simon said, cringing at the cheesy tone he accidentaly adopted. Still, it was a start. Maybe that day was what he needed. A kick up the backside. Words with Robin, confrontation with Keats, maybe he could finally get off his backside and stop waiting around.

He was going to make his own fun for once.


	33. Chapter 32: Drinking, Dancing & Devils

**Chapter 32**

"I _am_, I'm going to fucking kill him!"

"That's why he's gone into hiding," Robin folded his arms as Alex raced towards them.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

"Ask your _husband_," Kim scowled.

Alex looked from Kim to the top of the cake and closed her eyes as she gave a deep sigh.

"_Oh no."_

"Oh _yes_," Kim scowled.

"_Gene!"_ Alex spotted Gene attempting to hide behind Litton's moustache. She paced towards him and grasped his arm. "Gene! What did you think you were doing?"

"Discussing urgent matters with DCI Litton," Gene told her, "urgent matters like arresting Stringer for a murder she's about to commit."

"She'll never be prosecuted, there are mitigating circumstances!" cried Alex, "such as the fact that you've fashioned a small model of her looking extremely pissed off from play doh and stuck it on the top of the cake, the same cake on which you've added three arms to the groom; two of them clinging to the bride possessively and the third flipping the birdie at play-doh Kim!"

"She got her own line in the vows, she should be on the cake!" Gene protested.

"Not under circumstances in which I'm going to lose my new husband before the honeymoon!" cried Alex, "go and fix that cake before we cut it," she folded her arms, "otherwise Kim will be putting that knife to an alternative use."

~xXx~

"_Again_... why did you fucking do it _again?!"_

Keats coughed and choked as he threw himself against the alley wall, furious with every part of his body and mind. What the _fuck_ was he _doing? _There was no part of him that knew the answer to that, especially since different parts of him were asking the same question for different reasons. The monster part screamed at him for approaching Simon, for taking him flowers, for being struck like a rabbit in headlights. The _human_ part cursed and cried and wailed at the monster for sneaking in, for telling him not to feel, for making him run. _Fuck_.

He screamed again and slammed his shoulder against the harsh brickwork as he recalled the look on Simon;s face; the one when he realised the flowers were supposed to be for him. No one had ever looked at Keats that way. Not once. Not in his life.

The human was afraid of losing him and the monster was afraid of _wanting_ him. The two had been fighting for so long that there seemed to be no end.

He sank to the ground, howling at the sky like a werewolf on the night of a full moon. He was running out of chances, he knew that. Simon's words played through his mind. Shit, had he blown it for good? Wait, _what_ had he blown? It wasn't like he wanted to be close to Simon. Yes he did. No he didn't. _Fuck_ -

His hands grasped his head and he let out a pained howl that hurt him right down to the centrer of his soul. The monster might have loosened its grip on him but it was still ready to choke him any time it came to the fore and this was one day when the man could barely breathe.

~xXx~

"And so," Alex began, "now that the cake has been rectified," she glanced at Gene who looked slightly ashamed, then at Kim who was making cut-throat motions in his direction, "my husband and myself are ready to cut the cake."

Their friends gathered around with cameras for the golden photo opportunity as Gene and Alex placed their hands onto the knife and began to cut a slice into the middle tier. Cheers went up from around the room, along with one cry of '_thank fuck, I've been drooling for half an hour'_ from someone who'd been particularly desperate for cake.

"We don't have to cut the whole bloody _thing_, do we?" Gene scolded, "we're supposed to have _people_ for this!"

Neither of them was sure about the cake-cutting etiquette but thankfully Robin was standing on hand to offer his assistance and, after the bride and groom had helped themselves to a slice each, he proceeded to cut the rest of the cake.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to feed the cake to each other?" he asked and Gene scowled.

"More bloody ridiculous wedding rules?!" he cried.

"It's _tradition!"_ Robin protested, only to find a large slice of cake cutting off the end of his sentence as Gene shoved it into his open mouth.

"There. The sound of silence," Gene breathed a sigh of relief. He grabbed himself a fresh slice and escorted Alex to a quiet corner of the room to discuss other, tastier things he wanted to sample later on.

Robin finished cutting a tier and placed the slices onto napkins before taking one for himself and turning to Kim whose mouth was already full of cake.

"Should we take one for Simon?" he asked.

"_Hhhhhwwwhmmmmffff nnnnwwwwhh mmmmppphhhhm,"_ Kim told him.

"Sorry, what?"

Kim swallowed.

"I don't know if he'll really want one," Kim repeated without the cake, "he seemed more interested in liquid refreshments."

Robin shrugged.

"We could just take him one and if he doesn't want it he can send us away again," he said.

"Alright," Kim agreed. It was a fair compromise. She picked up a spare slice and together they crossed the room and peered out into the bar where Kim stopped quite abruptly, an arm out to block Robin's path. "_Wait."_

"What?"

Kim glanced at him.

"I think Simon's too busy for cake," she told him.

Robin peered around. To his surprise he found Simon deep in conversation with someone he didn't know, laughing in a way he rarely saw him laugh, weaving somewhat but smiling. It wasn't what either of them had expected but to both of them it was a sight that warmed them through.

"Yeah," Robin smiled and nodded, "maybe leave the cake for now."

"We'll save him a slice," Kim told him. She gently pulled him away from the door. "Come on, Rob," she said.

"Where are we going?"

Kim found herself smiling.

"I fancy trying to pull the bridesmaid," she said with a wink.

~xXx~

"You can talk about it, if you want to."

Simon looked up from his beer, on which his eyes had been fixed for a while. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying Michael's company. He'd even found himself laughing a fair bit. But he wasn't sure he was in an eye contact kind of a place, especially since he still felt rather pissed. He chanced a glance at the young man, whose expression seemed sincere.

"About what?" he asked, already knowing the answer but needing more time to decide if the answer of yes or not.

"About whoever it was that left the car park looking like a set from The Sound of Music," Michael told him. Simon looked back at his pint and sighed.

"I don't know that there's much to say," he mumbled.

"You put away somewhere in the region of three to four doubles, that seems like there's something to talk about," Michael told him. He gave a shrug. "It's alright, you don't _have_ to. Just that the options there."

Simon shrugged a little and took a cooling gulp of lager.

"I can't talk to any of my friends about it," he said grimly, "what does a _stranger_ want to hear about it for?"

"That's the perk of begin a stranger," Michael smiled, "I can't be biased. I don't know you, I don't know him and I don't know your friends. And it's my last night so you won't risk loose lips divulging your secrets if any of them come in the pub."

Simon tapped his fingers on the table.

"That is true," he said, then sighed deeply, "you still wouldn't want to know,." he said.

"Try me."

Simon sighed again and looked up at last. Michael seemed genuinely interested. He took a deep breath and slumped back.

"Imagine if Romeo and Juliet had been made with the devil on one side," he mumbled.

"Which one's got the balcony?" Michael joked and Simon gave a weak smile.

"You know that _one person_ you're not allowed to have feelings for?" he picked up his glass again and swilled the beer around inside. "Bad feelings. Bad blood. Not without good reason."

"So what do you see in him?" Michael asked, "or... _did?"_

Simon hesitated. He wasn't ready to put it into past tense.

"Don't know," he whispered, "there's something about him. Something he only lets me see, and not as often as I want to." he shook his head. "And when it's there... it's kind of explosive. But then he gets scared and takes flight," he gulped more of his drink until the end of the pint was nigh, "and now he's run one time too many."

"What's he scared of?" Michael asked, "Commitment?" He watched Simon shaking his head, "the family feud?"

"No."

"Is it a sexuality issue?"

Simon have a half shrug then shook his head.

"Love," he whispered. He looked at Michael. "He's afraid of it."

"It can be a pretty scary thing," Michael pointed out.

"It's like kryptonite to him," Simon explained, "it's not a normal fear. I thought I could help him but I was wrong," he shook his head. "so that's it. Not as interesting as you thought it was going to be, huh?"

"I wasn't looking for a tabloid scoop, I just wanted you to talk about it," Michael told him. He finished the end of his drink and pointed at Simon's empty glass. "Another one?"

Simon felt quite awash with lager. He'd already downed two; the one he had before Michael ended his shift and the second he bought when he got in a round to thank his new companion for spending time with him. He could already feel a dull ache in his temples and his stomach was sloshing with fizz but he found himself nodded.

"One more," he said, "thanks."

"Another one for the road," Michael pointed out and Simon laughed gently.

"You actually made me forget about the road," he said and Michael beamed.

"Mission complete," he said, heading to the bar.

Simon found himself tilting his head to one side and examining Michael critically. He supposed he was fairly good looking, a bit fresh faced for Simon. His hair was closely cropped, almost to the point of being fully shaven. He seemed fairly young. What, mid twenties, maybe? His green eyes twinkled as he glanced back at Simon and caught him looking.

"Shit," Simon mumbled, reaching for his drink and finding it wasn't there. "Bugger."

He tried to pretend he was more interested in watching _The Vanishing Man _on the TV in the corner until Michael returned. His head was a little fuzzy – alright, as fuzzy as a box of lambs – and while the pain of his afternoon encounter with Keats was still on the periphery he had enough booze in his system to fight it away.

"_Look at me now, Keats,"_ he mumbled to himself.

~xXx~

"_Would the bride and groom please take to the floor for the first dance?"_

No one was sure where the cheesy little DJ stall had appeared from, nor the man with the overly-large shades who looked like a Tony Blackburn wannabe, taking to the decks. But it was time for the evening disco to begin.

"He's not as _smooooooth _as someone we know," Gene commented as he tried to avoid dancing at all costs.

"Come on, Gene," Alex looked him in the eye, "stop stalling. And before you say a word, I know Gene Hunt doesn't _do_ dancing but I also know you _have_," she gave him a knowing look, remembering one night so many years ago, a night that held such promise and went so badly wrong, but the part of it spent holding one another as they gently moved along to True was a memory that Alex had treasured forever. She could see from the look in his eye that he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Remember the first time we danced?" she said.

"First and last," Gene huffed.

"Not the last – what about all those nights in _Bask?"_

"Some difference between a slow waltz and shaking yer body parts to something that Malcolm's style idol made," Gene grunted but Alex clasped his hand and pulled him out into the centre of the room where their friends and colleagues greeted them with applause.

"_Mister and Missus Hunt,"_ the DJ introduced them as Simply Red's cover of _The Air That I Breathe _began to play and, with a little reluctance that was more for show than anything, Gene looked Alex in the eye, stepped a little closer, took one hand and slipped the other around her waist. She closed her eyes as she felt herself melt against him, moving along with his motion, swaying in time to the music. She could hear cheers and whistles, and she felt Gene mouthing insults about what would happen if anyone reminded him of this moment in future days but it didn't take long for him to lose himself in the moment too.

Suddenly the only thing that mattered was holding one another, closer and closer, listening to the music as they moved together, a moment neither would forget. As the song continued it seemed they both had quite forgotten where they were and all the people around them. They were drawn together, lips brushing for the softest, gentlest kiss imaginable.

They ignored more whistles and cheers, nothing existed but the two of them and their happy day.

"_We really made it," _Alex whispered with the broadest of smiles, "_didn't we?"_

Gene looked down at her face and nodded.

"_Never bloody doubted it,_" he said.


	34. Chapter 33: Tact, Taxis & Tough Lessons

**Chapter 33**

There had been _so_ much music.

So many songs, so much dancing and also quite a lot of booze. The booze probably went some way to explaining why Gene had insisted on attempting the full dance routine to _Stop_ by the Spice Girls at one point. But finally something slower came on again and a slightly amorous Gene slurred an intention for a somewhat more x-rated repeat of their earlier dance in her ear.

"I need to find Kim," Alex told him and Gene scowled.

"Don't try slow-dancing with Metal Mickey, the rivets get caught in yer dress when you're too close together."

"I've been trying to talk to her all night," Alex told him.

"You've got yer scheduling, wait 'til tuesday!"

"No, Gene," she sighed, "I think there's..." she looked a little awkward, "_something wrong."_

"Yes, there is," Gene nodded, "she's one of those lifelike cyborgs that's broken her programming and thinks she's human."

"It's her creating _other_ humans I'm more concerned about," Alex told him. She tapped his arm. "I'll be back soon."

Her eyes scanned the room and she found to her surprise Kim was dancing with Robin. She didn't think she'd ever seen Kim dancing to anything slower than _Firestarter_ before. She gave a little smile as she crossed the dance floor and tapped Robin on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," she said with a smile, "may I cut in?"

Kim looked up with her eyes wide in surprise at the appearance of Alex. She could feel herself blushing right away, thankful that the disco lighting masked it somewhat, and glanced at Robin who stepped back with a smile.

"Be my guest," he said.

Kim felt nervous twitches throughout her body as Alex took her hand and slipped an arm around her waist.

"I'll warn you, Ma'am, I've never slow-danced before," she said.

"You seemed to be doing a fine job with Robin," Alex pointed out with a smile.

"Yeah, but Robin's used to me making a prat of myself, I don't want to embarrass myself in front of you!" Kim protested.

Alex laughed softly as she felt Kim relax a little more, the music and the rhythm slowly taking over any worries that she had.

"Don't worry about that, Kim, you're a natural," Alex told her.

They heard a couple of voices nearby as some of their friends rushed to take pictures.

"_Oh, that's so cute!"_

"_They look so happy!"_

"_What an adorable couple!"_

A sudden Gene voice interrupted.

"Mind revising that?" he barked and the guest gave a nervous laugh.

"You... you and ma'am... I meant _you_ and ma'am..."

"Np, that word, '_adorable_'..."

"...I actually meant '_dangerous_'."

"That's better."

Alex had to laugh as she glanced at Gene who was half-watching them and clearly picturing a spice girl in Kim's place. There were a few other people dancing now. Robin had persuaded Jake to dance even though he'd claimed his one-armed, injured dancing made him look like an idiot, and to her great surprise the sight of Fletcher slow-dancing with Phyllis was the strangest moment of the day, topped off when he whispered to her romantically,

"_What's another term for a duvet? Begins with a B."_

Alex felt Kim's head pressed gently against her which made her smile and hold her a little closer. She took a deep breath before she asked her quietly,

"How are you feeling, Kim?"

"_Never better,"_ Kim's voice sounded calm and contented.

"You seemed off-colour this morning," Alex told her.

"Sorry," Kim said quietly, "I'm sorry about that. Bloody ice cream. I need to stop rising to the bait."

"You've seemed off colour for a few days," Alex continued.

"Oh, it's like I said, going down to Surrey," Kim sighed, "Sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean to be down or anything."

"No, you haven't been," Alex promised her, "it's just.. that I was wondering..." she hesitated. _Shit_, was this even her place to say? What if she was wrong and upset Kim after all she'd been through? "Have... have you noticed anything strange about Robin's behaviour this week?" she tried another tactic, "he's seemed quite... over emotional."

"That bloody cake," Kim sighed, "we've had a lot of tears over those... _tiers_,"

"That wasn't what I meant," Alex sighed. _God_, for someone with more brains than most of the station put together Kim could be really stupid sometimes.

"Ma'am?" Kim's voice sounded quiet and reluctant suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

Alex paused. She looked down at Kim whose face was still buried against her neck and said,

"Of course, Kim."

"It's just," Kim began quietly, "I feel awkward about this."

"Don't feel awkward, Kim, tell me."

"I think," Kim began. She took a deep breath, "I think... I think I might have eaten too many sausage rolls."

Alex stopped dancing. She drew away and looked down at Kim who seemed shame-faced and already regretting speaking up.

"Sausage rolls?" Alex repeated.

"Yeah," Kim said reluctantly.

"Kim," Alex sighed as they began to dance again, "are you _absolutely sure_ that eating too many sausage rolls is your main problem right now?"

"If I burp while we're dancing it will be, I'll never live it down," Kim mumbled, embarrassed.

"Do you not think perhaps there's a _reason_ why you've been stuffing yourself silly with sausage rolls?" Alex tried to prompt her.

"I have a problem with free food," Kim admitted with a sigh, "I can't help it."

"Are you not thinking that there might be more than just sausage rolls inside of you?"

"I only had that second slice of cake because it was going to go to waste otherwise!"

"_Kim!"_

"_What?"_

"_Oi,"_ Gene's voice interrupted the moment, "Stringer, you're looking far too comfortable taking the lead in a slow dance with Missus Hunt."

"Gene, we were _talking_," Alex hissed.

"Stop talking and get walking, Bolly," Gene told her, _"it's time._"

"Time for what?"

"Taxi's here."

Alex blinked.

"What, _already?" _

"Honeymoon suite awaits us, Lady B," Gene told her, "it knows we're newlyweds and needs to witness the consummation of our marriage."

"We've already done that," Alex blushed, "twice."

"_Twice?!"_ cried Kim, "what, did you -"

"Well, one and a half," Alex coughed.

Kim blanched.

"So that explains the noises coming from the other cubicle," she commented.

Gene and Alex's flight wasn't until eleven the following morning so they were spending the night in the hotel beside Gatwick Airport, with the honeymoon suite booked and ready for one night of passion and pleasure on home soil before they flew to Spain the following day. Gene reached into his pocket and fished out his keys. He eyed Kim again and with extreme reluctance he said,

"Going to need someone to drive me Aston Martin home and put her to bed tonight." he narrowed his eyes at her. "Since you seem to like handling the women in my life," he held the keys out and a shocked Kim took them.

"Am I hallucinating?" she breathed.

"You kept her in one piece earlier," he remarked, "and you've not been on the sauce so you're her best chance of getting home intact."

Kim tried not to smile too obviously.

"Thanks, Guv," she said, "she's in safe hands."

"That's what you said about me missus and she ended up with rings through her nipples," Gene frowned but held out his hand regardless. "Station's in good hands and all."

This time Kim's smile was less smug than it was genuine and proud. She shook his hand and nodded slowly.

"I'll do my best," she said.

Robin made his way over and asked,

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes, taxi's here, apparently," Alex told him.

"And it'll be gone if we don't get our backsides in gear," Gene told him, "come on, Bols."

Robin threw his arms around Alex and hugged her warmly.

"I am _so_ happy for you both," he told her, "_congratulations, Alex."_

"Thank you," Alex closed her eyes as she smiled and hugged him back, "thank you for _everything_. You made a wonderful bridesmaid."

Robin laughed.

"Highlight of my life," he told her.

Alex hesitated before she whispered,

"_Look after Kim."_

Robin wasn't sure what she meant.

"If she'll let me," he said.

"Where's my son and heir?" Gene frowned, "Thought he'd have been the first one on the dance floor, mocking me for my moves, but I've not seen him all night."

"He's, uh," Kim coughed, "_indisposed_."

"Then re-dispose him and get his arse over here to say goodbye," Gene told her.

"Not that easy, Guv, I think he's pulled," Kim whispered and Gene found a scowl heading over his brow.

"The one time Shoebury's love life is more vibrant than his bloody jumper and it's my _wedding_ day?" he barked.

"Leave him alone, Gene, he deserves it," Alex told him, "we'll call him from the hotel in the morning."

"Some bloody best man _he_ turned out to be," Gene accused, but he didn't mean it. Simon had really done him proud that day They _all_ had.

"You'd better get moving, I can hear the taxi beeping," Kim commented.

"Alright, Alex sighed, "but I hadn't finished talking to you -"

"Tuesdays!" Gene barked and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, Kim," she said, "for everything you've done today." Her arms swept around Kim for a hug that brought a strong pink glow to Kim's cheeks.

"It was the least we could do," she whispered.

There was a fond smile on Alex's face as she drew back..

"Take care of yourself, Kim," she said seriously.

Kim shrugged a little.

"You too," she said.

"And look after the," Alex hesitated as she just about stopped herself from saying something she shouldn't, "_the sausage rolls," _she said quietly with a vaguely nervous smile, her fingers lightly brushing Kim's belly much to her horror as her earlier gluttony told against the waistband of her trousers.

"I'll..._ try,"_ she frowned as Gene and Alex stepped back, surveying the scene around them. All their friends, their colleagues, the purpose of the world.

"Alright, lady B," Gene held out his arm for her to take, "let's get this thing consummated," he coughed, "_again."_

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, the bride and groom are off!"_ the DJ announced to a cheer from the gathering who descended upon the happy couple and followed them out of the room and through the pub.

"We don't need a bloody police escort to the taxi," Gene told them crossly.

From the table on which he was still sitting with Michael, Simon looked up to see what the commotion was and felt a horrible stab of guilt.

"Shit, I forgot about the wedding ," he admitted. Had he really been enjoying their conversation that much?

"Go and say goodbye," Michael told him.

Simon drank the end of his pint.

"Alright," he said, surprised when Michael stood up too.

"I might come and get some air," he said.

Simon didn't question it, he just wanted to get outside before Gene and Alex left so he rushed towards the disappearing gathering with Michael a few steps behind.

"_Gene!"_ he called, "Gene, _wait!"_

"Christ almighty, Casanova 's sparing me a few minutes of his time," Gene turned around but Simon was still a little too pie-eyed to take any notice of his insults.

"Happy wedding night," he cried, flinging his arms around Gene for a hug that Gene had a) never expected, b) never _wanted_ and c) would never manage to stop suffering nightmares and flashbacks to as long as he lived.

"Get your arms from around my neck before I stick your corsage somewhere you won't want thorns," he threatened but as Simon stopped strangling him and stepped back even Gene couldn't be angry when he saw the size of the smile on Simon's face.

"Congratulations," he told them, "have a great, great, _great_ honeymoon!"

"Have a bad, bad, _bad_ hangover tomorrow," Gene countered but Simon was too busy hugging Alex to hear.

"And look after Gene," he told her, "because he needs you."

"I need me _head_ bloody looking at for employing you as best man!" Gene told him crossly but Alex simply smiled at Simon.

"I know," she whispered, "and I need him. We'll be fine."

"_Bouquet!"_ someone cried.

_"Yeah, throw the bouquet!"_ another voice chimed in as someone pressed the flowers back into her hands.

"Do brides still do that?" Alex frowned but by the sudden gathering of faces behind her she supposed they did.

"Alright, ready?" she called out, turning her back to them and holding her bouquet tightly, "one... two... three..._ catch!"_ she cried, tossing them over her head and spinning around just in time to see them landing squarely in Robin's arms.

"Hey, no fair!" someone cried, "its supposed to be _girls_ that catch the bouquet!"

"I'm the bloody _bridesmaid!"_ Robin protested, "And I'm wearing more make up than _any_ of you." He poked out his tongue and Alex nodded. She couldn't help thinking the bouquet couldn't have gone to a better person.

"And it's true," she said, "the tradition," she looked from Robin to Kim. "This will be _you_ next time," she said, that thought warming her as she watched them looking at one other with a smile that sent quivers through their bodies. Maybe the world was starting to look a little more favourably on the act of marriage.

"Bollingerknickers, your carriage awaits."

Alex turned to see Gene holding open the taxi door. She beamed and, feeling like her heart was on the verge of exploding, she ran to it and ducked inside. Gene followed suit and soon the car began to pull away; two happy newly-weds waving from inside, a gathering of overly-emotional, over fed and intoxicated guests outside.

Robin turned to Kim, the bouquet still in his hands. He felt himself starting to blush a little. What was the _matter_ with them all that day?

"So," Kim began, a tiny smile across her face, "you're next, are you?"

Robin looked down at the flowers.

"It seems that way."

Kim nodded slowly.

"And would you have any candidates in mind to take your name?" she asked and Robin shook his head.

"I wouldn't wish my name on anyone," he said quietly, thinking of the family lineage he'd rather forget. He took Kim's hand and held it tightly. "But," he whispered, "I could get used to being Mister Stringer."

It only took a moment for Kim's lips to appear right against Robin's as she kissed him softy, a wild tingle spreading between her legs that had her desperate for more. She groaned longingly as she felt him pressed against her and suddenly the end of the party didn't seem so appealing any more. There were more important matters to deal with.

"I've got the keys to the Aston Martin," she told him as he kissed her again.

"Oh yeah?" Robin mumbled against her lips.

"The Guv's always lamented that he's never persuaded Alex to..." she coughed, "_enjoy the delights of the back seat."_

"Hmm?" Robin mumbled as he kissed her neck.

"Maybe someone _else_ should christen it for him," she whispered.

"That's a despicable, immoral thought," Robin told her, "and I literally can't wait five more minutes to get you out of that tux, where the hell's he parked that car?"

Kim giggled and grasped Robin's hand before she led him away. They'd been waiting all day for a few moments alone and Gene had unwittingly given them the perfect opportunity. This time, she thought to herself, she'd be careful not to leave any untoward stains on the back seat.

~x~

Simon's arm slowly fell to his side. He';d waved until the car was out of sight, a sad smile across his lips. He was truly happy to see Gene and Alex finally tying the knot but that didn't mean his thoughts hadn't wandered to the day he'd slipped a ring onto Robin's finger from time to time.

"Looks like they're in for a good night," Michael commented and Simon nodded.

"Yeah," he said.

Michael nodded towards the pub.

"Fancy one more before the bar closes?" he asked.

Simon hesitated. _Did_ he? He didn't really. His gut was full of beer and he couldn't face the thought of any more. But he didn't want to say goodbye either. He found himself drawing courage from the alcohol in his veins as he turned to Michael and asked,

"Or we could go somewhere else for a proper drink?" he shrugged, "there's a nightclub down the road," he hesitated, "if you fancied it?" He froze, suddenly scared by his own bravado. What had he _done? _Time to end the night on a low note as he was laughed out of the pub. But Michael looked at him and gave a slightly stiff nod.

"Do you know what?" he said, "I do."

Simon hesitated

"Yeah?" he felt his lip twitch upward. That wasn't something he was used to. What was that called again? Oh yeah; _smiling_.

"Yeah."

Simon nodded.

"Alright then," he said, "let's go. Got your jacket?"

Michael held up the garment.

"Got it."

"Let's go then."

As Simon found himself walking away from the grounds of the pub he felt strange inside. There was pride... he wasn't used to being so bold and he was definitely proud of himself for taking a risk for once. There was hope and confidence that the attention of a stranger had given him that day. And there was a little burst of excitement for the unpredictable night that lay ahead. From a very dark beginning the evening had brought surprises and excitement that Simon had never expected. So why was there a twang of guilt buried deep down inside?

Catching a glimpse of the fallen flowers out of the corner of his eye, he had a pretty good idea.

~xXx~

Keats swallowed as he watched the car driving by; the decorated taxi with the bride and groom inside. His heart thumped inside his chest as he tried to cool his nerves.

_"What am I doing here again?"_ he whispered.

He didn't know. He'd been walking for hours until he damn near collapsed. He couldn't get the afternoon out of his mind, nor the look on Simon's face as he started to run yet again. The man and the monster had been tearing Keats to shreds all night long and now he wasn't sure which part of him was in control. There was only one thing he _did_ know. Only one thing he _wanted_.

_Simon_.

His legs trembled as he walked towards the pub. Was he even still there? People were leaving the car park, talking, chatting, laughing together and Keats stopped dead in his tracks as something he saw from the corner of his eye reached inside his chest and stopped his beating heart.

Simon didn't even notice him there. He didn't see Keats standing, staring in heartbreaking silence. He didn't see the pair of eyes that followed him all the way past until he and Michael were finally out of sight. He didn't see the remains of a heart breaking in two.

He couldn't say that Simon hadn't wanted him too. He couldn't say he'd not been given chances. But he'd wasted them. Wasted every last one and now all he had to show for it were the few flowers that had blown in his direction on the breeze.

Keats's body crumpled into a heap on the ground as his heart shattered inside of him. There was no part of him, man nor monster, that had been prepared for what he'd seen, nor for how badly it hurt.


	35. Chapter 34: Love, Life & Longing

**Chapter 34**

The taxi pulled up outside of the hotel doors and Gene reluctantly thrust a couple of notes at the cabbie.

"Suppose your driving wasn't as bad as I was expecting," he said.

The cabbie frowned.

"Thanks," he said, "I suppose your _tipping_ wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

"Gene," Alex began in a sing-song voice, "just help me get the bags out of the boot and leave the poor man to go about picking up a fare who isn't going to give him tips about overtaking without losing a wing mirror."

Gene folded his arms and joined Alex around the back of the car.

"I'd have got here in half the time," he said, "quick short cut through that park, slip round the back of that one way system and skim over the roundabout -"

"...Are all reasons why you're not a taxi driver," Alex told him with a raised eyebrow and a smile. She hauled a bag over her shoulder and smiled contentedly. "Now, are we going to start our honeymoon or are we going to stand around criticising the journey?"

"Option two sounds good," Gene began but a glimpse of honeymoon lingerie peeping out of one of the suitcases changed his mind. "Option one, no need to phone a friend for that question."

"_Good, _the last thing I want is you moaning on the phone to Simon all night," Alex teased.

They grasped their cases and walked towards the hotel, both full of excitement. The wedding may have been a long time coming... but so had the honeymoon.

~xXx~

Kim and Robin collapsed back onto the couch in unison, groaning tiredly. It had been a really, _really_ long day – a long _week_, in fact – and now that it was over it really struck then how exhausted they were. They leaned back together, heads gently resting against one another, and as Kim glanced around It felt like a very long time since they were last there.

"_And now they are,"_ she whispered with a tired smile.

"Who's what?" Robin asked and Kim turned to look at him.

"This morning," she began, "you said, the next time we're back here, Alex and Gene would be married."

A smile crossed Robin's face as he recalled the conversation.

"_And now they are,"_ he repeated quietly. His eyes fell to the bouquet on the table and felt funny shivers inside of him at the sight. He couldn't stop himself from smiling as he managed to sneak a glance at Kim as she closed her eyes, smiling tiredly. He really couldn't wait until it was their turn.

"Do you think that stain's going to come out of the back seat?" he asked a little anxiously, hoping Gene was going to leave therm _alive_ long enough to get married.

"Bit of elbow grease and a bit of Vanish stain remover and he'll never know," Kim told him.

They fell silent for a little while, too tired to even talk. After a few moments Kim sat up and slowly unzipped her boots, almost too exhausted to pull them off. Eventually she wriggled her feet free, sat her footwear by her side and put her feet up on the table, wriggling her toes.

"My feet are _killing_ me," she sighed, "too much dancing!"

Robin kicked off his shoes and his feet joined hers atop the table.

"I know what you mean," he sighed, "do my ankles look swollen to you?"

Kim sighed. They didn't really look swollen but she didn't want Robin to think she was being really horrible to him so she turned him around and pulled his feet onto her lap to give them a rub. Her mind went back over the events of the day, everything from the drive to the church, to the eventful ceremony., to Simon's new friend and her slow dance with Alex. She frowned a little as she asked,

"Did ALex seem... _strange_ you, Rob?"

"Strange in what way?" Robin asked.

"She kept saying she wanted to talk to me but started saying some really bizarre things," Kim told him and Robin shrugged.

"The champagne had been flowing," he said, "she was probably just tipsy."

Kim shrugged a little and continued rubbing Robin's ankles.

"Either way it's been a hell of a day."

"It certainly has," Robin sighed tiredly with a smile.

"And it's going to be a hell of an evening too."

Robin glanced at Kim with interest.

"Oh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "Why? What did you have in mind?"

Kim bit her lip a little guiltily.

"Bringing in the plate of left over sausage rolls from the car," she said, and Robin laid back with a loud laugh.

"Kim, you are one in a million," he told her, "come here." He pulled his feet from her lap and sat up, looked her in the eye and laid his hand against her cheek. Days like that very day were the kind that reminded him how lucky they were to be and as he leaned forward and kissed her softly she couldn't help but feel exactly the same. She was too distracted to hear the beeping noise that seemed to come from nowhere around her but then again she usually _was_. She'd zoned it out completely and all she could hear was the thumping of her heartbeat in her ears as Robin's kiss put her mind on something other than the sausage rolls.

~xXx~

Marci didn't want to answer the phone. She wasn't doing well. Well, she was and she wasn't. She was doing well in that she was sticking to her plan, tapering down, and she was determined to get there. But she wasn't doing very well in terms of the fact that she looked at death's door and wanted to shrivel up and die.

The ringing wasn't going away.

She reached a hand out from under her duvet and felt around for the receiver. As she answered the call she begged silently for the day to be over already. Every day that passed was a day closer to getting through it. But it never felt close enough.

"Hello?" she mumbled, her voice so low that her caller paused, unsure whether she'd called the right number.

"_Marci?"_

Marci flinched.

"Shaz," she whispered.

There was another pause. Marci knew that Shaz didn't even want to be calling. It pained her in her heart to hear that in her voice.

"_I just wanted to make sure you were alright,_" she said eventually.

Marci closed her eyes and held her body taut.

"_Alright_ isn't the word I'd use," she whispered, "but I'll survive."

"_You looked awful."_

Marci flinched.

"I know."

Shaz hesitated.

"_I'm so ashamed."  
_  
Marci felt like she'd been punched in the gut.

"I'm doing my best, Shaz!" she cried, "I'm fighting this hard!"

"_I don't mean you!"_

"What?"

She heard Shaz sigh on the line, reluctant to carry on. She finally pulled herself together a little.

"_I'm so sorry,"_ she said so quietly, "_I behaved... so badly today."_

"What? No you didn't -"

"_I did, Marci, I barely spoke to you!"_ Shaz told her, "_I'm so sorry."_

"I thought that... I thought that was because you were ashamed of _me," _Marci said quietly.

"_I found it too hard to see you suffering,"_ Shaz said quietly "_I won't pretend that finding out... what you'd been doing... it was the biggest shock, Marci, and I hate drugs more than anything. I can't bear the thought of you taking them, but I can't bear the thought of you going through that on your own."_

Marci closed her eyes.

"I need to do this alone," she whispered.

"_I want to help you."_

"I don't think that you can," Marci whispered. She shook her head as she tried to work out what to say. "Shaz... Shaz, I love you. And I'm doing this for you. I'm getting clean for you. But I have to do it alone."

"_I don;t want you to do it for me,"_ Shaz whispered, _"if you do this it needs to be for yourself."_

Marci sighed.

"It's for both of us," she whispered, "and I'm doing everything I can to get there. I just need to know," she flinched as memories of a night not so long ago came back to her, "that you're still going to be there. When I'm better."

There was a long pause, the most torturous of Marci's life.

"_I'll be there,"_ Shaz whispered eventually and Marci smiled for the first time in a week.

"_Thank you," _she whispered.

Silence fell, neither of them really knew what to say so finally Shaz told her,

"_I'd better go... it's late, I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep for worrying about you."_

"I'll be fine," Marci whispered.

"_Goodnight then, Marci,"_ Shaz's voice sounded tired and emotional;.

"Goodnight, Shaz," Marci whispered.

~xXx~

Jake leaned back on his bed, flicking through one channel after another. He'd only had cable put in to take his mind off Marci. He was fairly sure of that. Not that it was working. He'd even hallucinated The Marci Channel at one point. When the phone rang he jumped out of his skin. It was so late, why would anyone be calling at that time of night? Unless there was an emergency? Oh _god,_ that was _it! _Someone was dead! Someone was dead or dying, or had a bucket of frogs lodged in an unfortunate place. _Shit_, why was he still sitting there, panicking about it instead of answering it? He finally scrambled upright and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" he said quickly.

"_Jake?"_

There was a sudden thumping of his heart as he recognised the voice.

"Marci?" a feeling of panic gripped him again. "Oh god, what's going on? What;'s happened? Are you feeling worse?"

"_I'm sorry, I know it's late,"_ Marci's voice sounded edgy, "I've been sleeping most of the day."

Jake's heart was still racing and he felt the blood rushing to his face as he thought about her.

"But are you OK?" he asked desperate;y.

"_I'm..." _Marci hesitated, _"I just wanted to know how the reception went,"_ she said, tactfully avoiding the question, "_I felt really guilty abut leaving after the ceremony."_

"Shit, Marci, you're sick, you have nothing to feel bad about," he told her. He took a deep breath, trying to cool down now that he knew Marci was alright, "It... it was fine," he said, adding sadly, "It would have been more fun if _you_ were there though."

"_I'm sorry,"_ Marci said again.

Jake didn't want her to feel any worse than she already did and regretted saying anything.

"Shaz went quite early," he said, "but Robin looked after me. Fed me like a bloody baby and persuaded me to dance."

Marci gave a soft laugh.

"_Good," _she said quietly.

"The cake was great, I've brought back a slice for you," he said, then bit his lip. "Do you think you'll be up to it?"

Marci hesitated.

"_Maybe tomorrow," _she said quietly.

Silence fell. That was unnatural. In all the years they'd known each other they'd rarely had a moment of silence. Jake tried to think of something to say, something neutral, but instead his mouth blurted out what his heart wanted to say instead of what his head told him not to.

"Marci, I miss you," he whispered, "I really miss you. And I know that you've been going through something and if you won't let me help you, or I _can't_ help you then I understand, I really do, but I..." he flinched and swallowed, "I just _miss_ you, Marci."

He waited for her to respond. He hoped he hadn't said too much, _Shit_, what if he'd said too much?

"_I miss you too," _Marci's voice was quiet, _"I'm getting there, Jake... give me some time. And I'm doing my best to feel better. I'll be back. I promise."_

Jake felt himself smiling but his heart still felt heavy.

"Maybe you can come round later this week?" he said, "or I can come round? My arm's starting to feel a bit better. I could come and look after you, watch some rubbish films." He paused. "I could spoilt the endings to them?"

He heard Marci laugh finally.

"_You always do," _she whispered. She paused. "_Jake... I need to get back to sleep. But I'm glad things went OK. And I miss you too."_

Jake's spirits sank at the tone in her voice. He just wanted her to stay on tne line, he wanted to talk to her all night long but she needed to go and he knew that. Didn't stop him from longing though.

"Goodnight, Marci," he whispered.

"_Goodnight, Jake."_

As he placed the receiver back down Jake closed his eyes and breathed in very deeply. _Shit_, he couldn't understand this, the way he was feeling. Most of his life he'd been friends with Marci, _best_ friends, but something had slowly changed in his mind and as much as he tried to deny it he was starting to feel differently about her. Oh _god_, why _now?_ Especially while Marci was going through such a difficult time?

He'd been nursing his crush for months now. When had it started? Oh shit, way back at christmas. That _kiss_. _Bloody truth or dare_. He shuddered as he remembered the thoughts that had formed into his mind afterwards. He'd never expected it for a moment.

It was starting to really eat him up inside. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to say anything to Marci and spoil their friendship. What if those feelings just disappeared one day as quickly as they'd started? Maybe telling her would break the spell and he'd just see her as plain old Marci again. Maybe that's what he wanted? But then again, he was scared of upsetting or hurting her.

"_Fuck_ this," he muttered as his mind felt like it was going to explode. He needed to talk to someone. Maybe he could just start to understand how he really felt if he could talk it through. Usually Marci was the one he'd talk to about everything. This was the one time he couldn't He grasped the phone and quickly dialled Robin's number. If anyone would understand it was going to be him. He nodded to himself as he waited for his call to be answered. Yes, Robin would understand. The circumstances might have been very different but he knew that Robin was the expert in falling in love with someone you weren't supposed to.

_Shit! _Where did _that_ come from? Falling in _love?_

"_Hello?"_

Jake froze up and swallowed, trying to clear the lump in his throat as the full impact of what he was about to do struck him. He was going to let out his biggest secret and once he'd said the words he could never get them back. He trusted Robin implicitly but he couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't somehow get back to Marci. What if he said something to Kim who said something to Alex who said something to Gene who made some kind of inappropriate remark when Jake returned from the latte run with an extra muffin for her one day?

"_Hello? Is anyone there?"_

Oh _shit_, he'd forgotten abut the phone.

"H-hi, Rob, it's me," He said quietly. Oh _god_, why had he thought this was a good idea? He was gripped with panic now.

"_Jake? Is everything OK?"_

"Yeah," Jake swallowed, "I just... I just needed to..." he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew this was it; _make or break._ But he just couldn't do it. It was too hard to let those thoughts out of his head and into the public domain. He shook his head slowly. "I wanted to than you," he said stiffly, "for getting me to dance tonight and looking after me. I had fun."

"_I'm glad," _Robin told him, "_you didn't seem yourself tonight."_

Jake gave a sad smile.

"I'm alright," he said quietly, "just feeling sore still, that's all."

"_You coped marvellously,"_ Robin told him, _"everyone's going to be doing one-armed dancing now. You stared a new craze!"_

Jake gave a quiet laugh but his heart wasn't really in it.

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, I'll let you get to bed," he said.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Robin's voice seemed anxious, making it perfectly clear to Jake that he knew it wasn't.

"I'm fine," he whispered, "I'll talk to you soon, Robin."

Robin hesitated. Whatever was wrong, Jake didn't seem ready to open up just yet.

"_Well,"_ he began, "_you know where to find me if you change your mind. I'm always here._"

Jake closed his eyes with a grateful nod.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"_Bye, Jake."_

"Goodnight, Rob."

As Jake hung up for the second time he rolled over and groaned, his hands to his head. Why weren't his crushes ever happy and fun like the ones you see on TV? All they led to for him were sleepless nights and graffiti on the toilet walls.

~xXx~

Em rolled over in bed and pulled the duvet around her shoulders in the stark, empty bedroom in which she'd been sleeping for the last month and a half. Somehow, _that_ was the day it truly hit her.

She couldn't close her eyes. She wanted to sleep but at the same time she didn't dare. She was afraid to close her eyes. She felt stupid for it but the fears had been creeping on slowly for the past few days; visions and the nightmares that plagued her through the night, just how it used to be. How many nights had she lain awake ion her late teens, writing through the night until she passed out through sheer exhaustion, pen still in hand?

She thought about switching on the TV but that was too painful, The whole night had been spent avoiding programmes she didn't want to see. Couldn't bear to. Why did it have to be _that_ of all days? She rolled over again with a frustrated sigh, not sure what to do with herself. It was strange how that date haunted her. It wasn't even a _negative_ one. It was one of the rare gems in a terrible year. But just by association it brought back the bad times and she wanted to sleep through the whole thing, desperate to wake up tomorrow and find herself back home. But she couldn't. In fact, she couldn't sleep at all. Didn't dare. She felt trapped in a loop and didn't know how to get out.

As bad as she felt for escaping the wedding early it was nothing compared to how she felt trapped in another day that she wanted to run from forever.

She slowly rose into a sitting position as a dark feeling travelled through her body and she closed her eyes. She felt so sick suddenly as a revelation came upon her, one that she'd never acknowledged before. She'd thought once her birthday was over then things would become easier and for a while they did, but now every day started to feel like a dark struggle again because, as she came to realise,

"_The day it happened wasn't the worst part,"_ it was the first time she had even realised such a thing and it pained her desperately to admit, "_it was surviving the following year."_

And yet here she was, in the following year, with no way of knowing when or how or if she would ever escape it.

1998 had almost killed her once. She couldn't guarantee she would survive it a second time.

~xXx~

Standing at the window of her bedroom, the large sketchpad propped against the window, Nicol finished the last strokes of the jacket sleeve and stepped back to admire the sketch she'd spent all evening working on. Art had been her passion for so long; portraits were her thing, and the one she'd just finished had worked out so well, she should have been proud

And yet, somehow...

Somehow she just

...wasn't feeling it.

Wasn't feeling _anything_.

She lifted her glass and sipped the red wine sitting by her bed but it was tasteless. Her snack lay beside it, discarded after only a bite or two. It hadn't tasted right either. Why did nothing taste right? why did nothing _smell_ right? Why did the colours around her room suddenly seem so subdued? Why did the music playing on her stereo, the songs that had once stirred up so much emotion with their perfection, suddenly fade away and leave her cold?

"_Why,_" she whispered, "_do I feel so empty?"_

She slowly hung her head, the lyrics of the song her radio blasted into the room reflecting the way she felt to such a degree that a shiver travelled down her spine;

_#...I think my heart must be made of clay,  
'cause everyone said it would be broken someday.  
And now I've come to that fateful day,  
so I sit on the floor  
with my head in my hands.  
And don't tell me how to make it pay,  
I write a new song every day.  
I just wish I was made of wood,  
I might not feel pain,  
even if I should, even if I should,  
if I should...#_

She closed her eyes and sank onto her bed. This wasn't right. Not right at all. But she couldn't put her finger on what was wrong, so how could she even start to make it right?

"_I feel like I'm dead inside,_" she whispered.

~xXx~

He danced like he hadn't since he was eighteen years old; lost to the music and the booze and the moment. The heady atmosphere of the nightclub, the pulsating beats and the lights around the space took Simon mentally away from everything as he lost himself to the motion. He felt so free. He felt as though the night could just about last forever. He let his body move without fear of humiliation or laughter. He didn't care, just for one night. With his suit jacket and his tie discarded in the cloakroom he looked good and he _felt_ good and with a good looking young guy giving him attention it was a night like he hadn't experienced in years.

He let the swell of people around him fade into the distance. It was just him and the music an an unexpected night. Fuck the hangover, fuck tomorrow, for once Simon Shoebury was going to live for the moment.

~x~

It hurt like nothing on earth. The pain inside his chest was unlike anything Keats had felt before. It didn't make sense to him, it was illogical. It wasn't like he'd been injured, there was no knife sticking out of his guts and no bullet hole in his chest. And yet the pain was so strong and so terrible that it made the gun shot he'd received the previous december feel like a scraze.

Without even realising what he was doing his hand rose to his chest, covering his heart. He wasn't sure why. Maybe to protect it from further shrapnel from the sight that was killing him internally.

Had he really thought Simon was going to wait forever? Had he really thought that he could breeze in and out, for simon to pick up the pieces when it suited him? To run away time and again because he knew that Simon was just dumb enough to wait around as long as it took?

No, wait. Not dumb. He felt like he was choking as he realised that word was so very wrong. _Loyal, faithful, compassionate, caring, determined, all of the above._

People treated Simon like a joke and, _shit_, Keats knew he was guiltier of that than most, but he wasn't laughing now.

Suddenly the man he'd watched from afar so many times; the one he'd followed at a distance, the one whose door he'd walked right to but on which he'd never had the courage to knock, the one who made him think things he wasn't used to thinking, the one who made him feel -

The one who made him _feel_.

And there he was; the man, _Simon_, in the middle of the dance floor where his body was in motion, his mind absorbed by the beat, and the rest of the club were moving in his direction, the eyes of the crowd fixed upon him appreciatively. His strong profile where once frowns had kept the world at a distance now seemed free, strong, and – _fuck –_ really pretty-damned handsome. There were other men dancing closer and closer to him, trying to get his attention as the one he'd seen Simon leaving with pressed a fresh bottle into Simon's hand, leaning closer to be heard over the music, making him laugh and setting off a smile that Keats had so rarely seen.

It burned him inside.

_What did you expect, Jim? What did you expect? Walk away, it's not like you need him. You don't need anyone. He's the one with the fucking fixation. _

Acid burned in his chest and he tried to swallow it down but the dark feeling wouldn't go away. What _was_ it? It was trying to suffocate him. It made him feel like he couldn't breathe. Or was it just that he didn't _want_ to?

Because breathing meant living and right then he couldn't think of a single reason to go on.

The guilty and the anger and the regret mixed together like a potent poison that swirled around inside of him, dragging his body from the club one frantic footstep after another, blundering through the crowd causing shrieks and swearing as he knocked from one clubber to another and finally stumbled out of the door where he fell heavily against a large plant pot, coughing and spluttering as his guts attempted to purge themselves of their contents but as he'd eaten nothing all day he lost little but bile.

Unfamiliar sensations took him over, crushing the heart inside his chest, forcing water from the corner of his eyes. It took some time for him to realise the sensation was crying. _Fuck_, what the _hell_ was happening?

That was it. He was broken. And the only one who'd ever tried too put him back tgether was no longer waiting in the wings.

Jim Keats had nothing left but tears and regret. This time Simon wasn't going to be there with the TCP to fix him.

~xXx~

The bubbles lapped over Alex's shoulders as she sank into the tub, peering at new husband lying opposite, their legs entwined. She reached out lazily to take the glass from beside her and sipped the champagne slowly. It was late, so late they should have been asleep before now, especially if they wanted to be up for their flight the next day, but neither could resist the size of that bath.

"So," she began as she smiled at him, "funny old day?"

Gene gave a grunt and eyed her, attempting not to smirk.

"Last time I said that to you I believe there were threats of violence," he reminded her.

Alex smiled.

"I thought I would get in with the remark before _you_ did," she said and Gene had to look away to stop himself from smiling. "It _was_ though," Alex commented, "between the Super persuading our guests to answer half his crossword clues, your friend Phyllis scaring Simon into the toilet for half an hour, a homicidal vicar and Robin's musical aspirations I don't think it could have _been_ much stranger."

Gene nodded. She was probably right about that.

"I'm not worried about whether it's been a funny old day, I'm more worried about how we're going to make best use of the night," he told her and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes?"

Gene nodded.

"Posh bottle of bubbly, king sized bed... me and you, Bolly."

"Explosive combination," Alex commented, raising an eyebrow.

Gene thought to himself as he let his foot wander between Alex's legs for a moment.

"Consummation of marriage," he began, "is that a legal requirement?"

"I'm not sure but it's one we've already fulfilled if so."

Gene hesitated.

"Not sure we have, Bols. Not officially."

"Tell that to the poor grave digger who got an eyeful!" Alex told him, "_And_ Kim and Robin."

"I think the law states," Gene cleared his throat, "that marriage has to be consummated in a king-sized bed, with a selection of honeymoon lingerie."

Alex raised her eyebrow.

"Oh it does, does it?" she asked.

Gene nodded.

"No time like the present, he told her.

With the broadest of smiles, Alex Hunt had to agree.


	36. Chapter 35: The Morning After

**Chapter 35**

Awakening in a strange place, it took Alex a few moments to gather her senses. There was a slight heaviness in her head where the last glass of champagne had maybe been a little too much and her feet ached from too much dancing the night before, but all discomfort was forgotten as her eyes settled upon the new ring on her finger. A smile swept silently across her features. The memories of their wedding played back through her mind. _They'd made it. _

Her eyes moved to the sleeping Gene beside her, naked but for a bow tie. She softly swept her fingers though his hair, leaned forward and kissed his forehead softly. He mumbled a little in his sleep but he didn't wake up. _Good_, Alex thought. She wasn't quite ready to start the day. She wanted to lie there a little longer and think about the perfection of the previous one instead.

Slowly she shuffled closer and pressed her forehead against his, closed her eyes and smiled away to the quiet morning. Their day was perfect. Their _night_ was perfect and now their honeymoon was about to begin. It was their turn for happiness. They both knew it. Alex was going to make the most of every last second.

~xXx~

Robin woke up smiling. He didn't know why, but he had his suspicions it was something to do with the fact that he couldn't remember ever feeling so deeply in love. He didn't dare tell Kim that. Kim was less comfortable with girly feelings than _Gene_, but the sensation just consumed him. He wasn't sure what it was; whether it was the perfection of the wedding the day before, or the fact that it had made him think deeply about the day he and Kim finally would finally vows of their own or the fact that he had never, _ever_ seen Kim looking better than she did in a tux... there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on and he felt closer to Kim than ever.

He slipped an arm around her and pressed his body against hers, feeling the warmth of her back against his torso, softly kissing her neck around the bottom of her blonde crop. She moaned a little as his kisses continued, wandering lazily around her cheek, then down to her shoulder. He saw her face twitch as a smile started growing.

"_Good morning,"_ he murmured into her ear.

He felt her exhale contentedly.

"Good morning," she whispered back. She could feel something poking her in the back and gasped with mock indignity. "Well _someone's_ excited this morning!" she accused to a soft laugh from Robin.

"Dreaming about that tux," he mumbled as he kissed her again, "I think you've given me a fetish or something."

"Then make the most of it, it has to go back to the rental place in the morning," Kim said a little sadly.

"Nope," Robin murmured against her ear.

"We'll lose the deposit if we don't!"

"So lose it."

"What's gotten _into_ you?" Kim laughed, shivers running down her spine from his persistent kisses, "you've been like this for two _days!"_

Robin wasn't sure what had gotten into him. He knew what he _wanted_ to get into him, but Kim kept that under the bed and he didn't want to move to get it.

"_I just can't seem to get enough of you," _he whispered as Kim tried not to show what his words were doing to her.

"You've been like an overly hormonal teenager!" she accused with a laugh which ended suddenly as she found a hand wandering where she hadn't expected it to. "_Ohh!"_

"I've been swept up in the romance," Robin told her as his fingers wandered across her soft, inked skin.

"The romance was yesterday."

"The _residual_ romance," Robin teased. He wrapped his arm around her waist and squeezed her softly but to his horror she seemed to wince. "Kim? Are you OK?"

Kim's voice sounded a little strained.

"Sorry," she said quietly, gently moving his arm, "I'm feeing a bit tender. A bit delicate," she felt herself reddening, "I don't think the last sausage roll was a very good idea."

"Just the _last_ one?" Robin teased.

"It must have gone off," Kim mumbled.

Robin laid his head against her shoulder and smiled to himself contentedly. Seeing Alex and Gene finally tie the knot after all they had been through had renewed his faith that soon it would be his turn. Himself and Kim, side by side, showing the rest of the world that nothing could ever keep them apart, not even life and death.

He closed his eyes and kissed her arm softly.

"_I love you," _he whispered. It wasn't something they said very often. They didn't need words. But from the sudden rising of her cheekbone as a broad smile overtook Kim's face Robin could tell it was something she wanted to hear.

"_I love you too,_" she whispered back. As his heart came near to exploding Robin decided on the main activity for the day. He hoped that Kim would be willing to agree.

"_Bed,_" he whispered.

Even though they were already there, Kim understood exactly what he meant.

"_Bed_," she whispered.

~xXx~

Shaz stared at the photograph beside her bed; herself and Marci in happier times, smiling and laughing together outside of the nightclub. She swallowed and pulled the duvet up around her. Visions of Marci's drawn, weakened self haunted her. The thought of what she was going through killed her inside but so did the fact that she'd managed to get herself into such a situation in the first place.

She picked up the phone and dialled half of Marci's number before she hung up again, heart racing. She wasn't sure she was ready to talk to Marci again. The call the night before had hurt so much. Everything was painful. Her feelings for Marci ran so deep, but she was pushing her away and she realised why. It wasn't just the thought of what Marci had been doing but the possibility of losing her through it.

She hung her head as she recalled the months spent grieving for Kim. What if she lost Marci? She couldn't go through that kind of pain all over again.

She tried to put her faith in Marci, that she would keep on fighting, but she knew there was a very long road ahead of her. She only hoped Marci was strong enough to last the journey.

~xXx~

"_Oh my god."_

Jake stared at the ceiling, unable to comprehend the fact that he'd just had an extremely explicit dream about his best friend in the whole world and even _more_ unable to grasp how much he'd enjoyed it. _Fuck_, this was dangerous territory. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ He thought maybe with a good night's sleep he'd find some perspective over the situation. And he _had_. The problem was, it was the perspective of his apparently growing feelings for someone he'd never seen in that light before.

Marci was the girl who once paid him for a favour with a frog and rigged the college vending machine to get free Wispa bars. She was someone he's gone clubbing with every night of the week, the one he turned to when times were hard, the only one he'd ever opened up his life and his heart to completely. But in all those years their friendship had been as platonic as any friendship could be. Despite one.. alright, now _two_... kisses, and one drunken night where the idea of Marci relieving Jake of his virginity had been briefly on the table, they'd never even so much as thought about a date, and now Jake could think about little else.

"My head's more scrambled than the eggs I had for breakfast yesterday," he mumbled to himself. It was true and he didn't know what the hell to do about it.

~xXx~

He hadn't slept a wink all night. His hair stood up in a wavy, messy wall of darkness. Beneath his eyes were circles so obvious they looked like they'd been drawn on with a pen. He sat on the bed of the little hostel room with his knees tucked into his chest. He'd not said a word in hours, not that he had anyone to say them _to_. But he hadn't even _thought_ a single word. His mind was numb. He wished his heart was too.

Jim Keats wasn't used to feeling. He didn't realise how much it hurt and he didn't know what to do when the pain in his chest was so violent that he thought he might need medical attention. Now he understood why they called it a broken heart. It was either that or a heart attack.

He barely blinked. His eyes might have been open but he didn't take in anything he saw around him. He wasn't man, he wasn't monster, he was only pain. Pain, guilt, misery, torment. If his title hadn't been stripped from him then his thoughts alone would have set the walls aflame.

Just as he felt as though he couldn't take any more and prepared to lay his body down, praying for some form of sleep to stop the pain, a glimpse of something on the news grabbed his attention, took the fragments of his heart and crushed them up like a pill beneath a pestle.

Stiffly he reached for the remote, the first time he'd moved in several hours, and turned up the volume.

"_...the appointment comes after an exemplary career in the force and has been welcomed by those who feel a new direction is needed to bring the capital's policing in line with standards across the country. He will take up his post as Commissioner for the City of London Police next month."_

"_No," _Keats whispered as the face looked on smugly from the news report; a face that he'd last seen so many hears ago that it had been erased from his mind, erased until Simon procured a tape from the basement of his own station and showed him the truth he couldn't bear; that he was once a man like any other, that he too was once a mortal who'd fallen foul to some sergeant who wanted a collar and a little thing like the safety of his officers wasn't going to get in the way of that.

_Exemplary career? _Ha! Only because the bastard was never called to task over it. Cover-ups and pay-offs were firmly in place and Keats never received so much as an apology. Not even a bunch of fucking grapes.

He felt himself shaking and shivering as he stared at the face before it disappeared and a newsreader came on in his place. _Shit_, what the hell was he supposed to_ do? _He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle seeing that face again after all those years, nor the fact that the man who destroyed his future was facing the biggest promotion of his life while _he_ was rotting away in a little hostel, nothing and no one in his life.

He needed something. He needed _someone_, to stop him from smashing his head into another mirror if nothing else. He scrambled to his feet and fled to the door but he froze as he realised he had no where to go. There was only one person he wanted, there was only one person who just might make things better. But he'd run away one time too many and now his saviour was dancing the night away.

And _that_ was the moment Keats realised that you never truly know what you've got until it's gone.

Any trace of heart that had been left crumbled into oblivion.

~xXx~

That... _thumping_... wasn't a good sign.

Oh _god_, that was _definitely_ not a good sign. The last hangover Simon had suffered of that magnitude had been his night out with Kim and Robin some nine months earlier. It wasn't _that_ one coming back, was it?

_Shit, the wedding._.. that's right., It had been the wedding the day before. No wonder he was drinking. No, wait – that wasn't why he was drinking. He froze up as he remembered the car park, Keats, the flowers... _Fuck_, he'd run away again. _Again_. Shit, no wonder he'd started drinking. Oh _god_, how much had he put away? His mouth was so dry it felt like he'd been drying it out with a hair-dryer. He thought about getting some water but his stomach was going round and round, he didn't dare risk it. Oh _god_, where were the alka seltzer? Was it possible to get from the bedroom to the kitchen without his head cracking open and letting his brain ooze out like the yolk of an egg? Maybe he should start with something a little less physical. Maybe opening his eyes. OK, maybe _one_ eye. Yes, one eye. That was a good compromise. Two eyes was a little bit of a stretch to begin with.

_Alright. Count of three. One.. too... here goes nothing. Three._

It was too bright. _Shit._ Fucking _sunshine! _It could just fuck right off until he'd managed to persuade at least three of the drummers banging out a tune on his brain to go away. Oh _god_, the thumping was worse than Robin with his baked bean drum kit. He finally persuaded his eye to open up fully and the bright glare began to abate. Instead it brought into focus a slightly hairy back and a tattoo of a large multicoloured fish.

"_Shit!"_

Suddenly brain drummers and nausea were the least of Simon's worries as he tried to put together whatever sequence of events had led to the bed interloper and what appeared to be... _shit_, was that a can of squirty _cream_ on the other aside of the bed? Oh _god_, he actually _was_ turning in to Gene.

"_Shit!" _he cursed again, his swearing just loud enough to cause the figure beside him to stir, cough a little and roll over to face him. "Oh_ god,"_ Simon closed his eyes. Maybe if he wished really, _really_ hard he could wake up all over again and find this was just a dream?

"Morning," Michael's voice was amiable and bright and it forced Simon to reluctantly open both eyes again.

"Morning," he said sheepishly. His eyes travelled downward just to confirm his worst suspicions. _Yep, I'm naked. Great._

"Well _that_ was a bit of a turn up," Michael smiled, "I thought I was going to celebrate my last shift with a couple of beers and a takeaway," he sat upright, his bare chest making Simon feel somewhat uncomfortable, "didn't expect someone else was going to be taking _me_ home instead."

"_Oh god," _Simon clung to his pounding head, "Look, um -" he tried to remember the guy's name. Oh god, what _was_ it? Marcus? Mick? Michael... _Michael_, _that_ was it. At least he was fairly sure it was. Shit, should he chance it? "Look, _Michael_," he began slowly, watching the man's face for any sign that he'd messed up. But Michael didn't seem phased so either he had the right name or wasn't expecting Simon to remember it anyway, "I don't normally do things like this... I've never..." he flinched, "well, I _once_... but_ usually -"_

"Hey, calm down," Michael had to laugh at Simon's extreme awkwardness. Actually, that was one of the things that had caught his eye in the first place, "It's like I said last night. If you hate me, you never have to see me again. Right?"

"I never said I hated you!" Simon protested. He clutched his head. "Not that I really remember enough to know where I stand on that matter..." he realised with horror that he was sitting there, exposed from the waist up, and pulled the duvet to his shoulders. _Shit_, the _nipple rings!_ Oh god, he'd been sitting there with them on display like a couple of miniature door knockers. All his _scars_... oh god, not to mention his bloody spare tyre... he kept thinking about maybe going on a diet, or maybe tagging along to the gym with Robin some time, but... but he'd never had any real _reason_ to. He'd never had anyone _special_ as a reason to. Or were those insecurities his reason not to _find_ someone special?

"Simon?"

Shit, how long had he been silent for? He looked up at Michael as he waved his hand in front of Simon's face.

"S-sorry," Simon stammered, "Hangover..."

Michael looked at Simon with a little concern.

"Regretting it?" he asked, more worried about Simon than insulted about the implications of that.

"I don't remember enough to regret it," Simon mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He looked at Michael somewhat awkwardly and said, "I really don't do this, you know," he said. He felt wretched, there was guilt oozing out of every pore, but Michael seemed to take it in his stride.

"I know," he said with a simple smile and a shrug.

"I... I'm really sorry, I had too much to drink and I was -"

"You'd had a fight with someone, you were lonely, I was celebrating the end of a job I hated – two people moving on. We deserved a night of fun. Not like I'm going to stalk you with bunches of flowers."

Simon gave a nervous laugh but the pang of guilt hit him again. _Keats_. Was _that_ why he'd done it? Trying to get Keats out his system? Shit, this was _exactly_ the sort of thing he hated, why the hell had he _done_ it?

"I, uh," Simon coughed awkwardly, "I hadn't... for a while," he flinched as he realised it had been ten long months since the last time he'd been with someone; _Robin_, one last time, for all the wrong reasons.

"Yeah, I got that impression the way you checked to see if the condom was out of date," Michael said with an awkward laugh as Simon cringed and started to panic about what else he'd said or done. Oh _god_, had he even remembered what to _do?_ He'd had so much booze he wasn't even sure that he remembered how to _breathe_ by the end of the night.

"I'm sorry," he cringed, not sure whether he was apologising for the condom comment or the sex in general but Michael seemed completely oblivious to Simon's concerns. Maybe he hadn't been as bad as he feared.

"I'll grab a drink if it's OK and then I'll get out of your hair," Michael told him, quite cheerfully getting out of bed despite his complete nudity, hunting around for his clothes as Simon looked away out of embarrassment and modesty.

"_Shit,_" he mumbled under his breath. Bits were coming back to him now. There'd been kissing on the dance floor and the feeling of being wanted for once that gave him a kind of bravado he never usually had. He remembered a last round of shots and a whisper in his ear. _Did he want to...? _and he could tell from the guilt in his gut that he'd been too eager to say yes for the wrong reasons. He remembered the plan changing... things were heading for a quick toilet bunk-up but Simon refused. The only time he'd done such a thing had been his last time with Robin in Bask before he'd woken up, his first time around. Simon didn't want to taint that memory so he'd taken the guy home. He didn't remember much about the act itself although the sticky patch of dried cream across his torso gave him some clue as to the unexpected direction parts of it had taken. _Shit_, there seemed to be squirty cream on other parts of his body as well. Or was that not cream? Oh _god_, he wasn't sure if he wanted to regain a full set of memories or not. It was not a very _Simonesque_ experience.

He held the duvet around him as he tried to find his clothes but Michael stopped him.

"It's ok," he said, "just stay there and get some more rest, I'll see myself out."

"I thought you wanted a drink," Simon said nervously.

Michael looked at Simon with a tiny hint of sadness in his eye. He'd thought he was enjoying a bit of no-strings fun, but it looked like his stringless friend wasn't used to such a thing and Michael started to feel very awkward. He thought, not wrongly, that Simon could probably use some time alone.

"I'll get one at home, I don't live far from here," he said. He finished zipping up his jeans and turned to the mirror, checking he wasn't covered with bits of cream or had anything stuck to his clothes. He ran his hands over his close-cropped hair and turned back to Simon. "Listen," he said quietly, "I had fun last night. And like I said, if you hate me -"

Simon's smile was nervous and sheepish.

"Well no, that's not the case,", he admitted.

"So," Michael began, "if you _did_ want to meet again some time," he shrugged a little. Now it was _his_ turn to do something he wasn't used to. He found a pen beside the bed and looked for something to write on. When he couldn't find anything he reached across the bed and took Simon's hand. He seemed shocked at first, worried Michael was about to slip a ring on his finger or something, but instead he wrote a few digits across Simon's skin. "There," he said, "ball's in your court. I..." he swallowed, "I feel like maybe I misread things and I screwed up. If the... flower-explosion man... from yesterday is the only thing on your mind," he shrugged, "I get that. Go wash your hands and never think abut last night again." He checked his pockets to make sure everything was there; _wallet, keys, Simon's underpants _– whoops, wasn't expecting those. "but," he continued, "if you think maybe we could do this again without the... wedding party and awkwardness," he shrugged, giving Simon a wobby smile. "Like I said. Up to you." he nodded slowly, sort of wanting to leave Simon with a kiss but not sure it was appropriate. "Bye, Simon."

Simon's smile reflected Michael's; nervous, awkward, maybe regretful, a little guilty.

"Bye, Michael," he said as he watched the man turn and leave. A few moments later he heard the slamming of the door and, closing his eyes, he flopped back against the pillow, groaning desperately. What the _hell_ had he done? Why had he _done_ it? Shit, there were actually a million answers to that and yet none of them were good enough.

His head was thumping with every breath, his stomach bubbled with the remains of the booze binge and his backside felt extremely sore where, he had a feeling, there had been some kind of spanking involved. But the worst feeling was the guilt that broke him up inside. He knew he was the infidelity police, _everyone_ called him that, but even so he had nothing to feel guilty over. He hadn't cheated on anyone. He'd been single for so long that his private parts had gasped in surprise at the promise of an outing.

So why did he feel like he'd betrayed the man who'd run away, again?

"_What the fuck do I do now?" _he moaned.

~xXx~

"_Last call for the boarding of flight BA2556,_" the voice announced over the tannoy system and Gene finished his last mouthful of latte.

"Not up to the standard of me favourite beverage supplier," he admonished, "but it'll be the last latte down my throat for a few weeks."

"Believe me Gene, soon you'll be awash with sangria and forgetting lattes even exist," Alex told him and she got to her feet and held out her arm. Gene stood up and linked his arm through hers.

"This is it, Lady B," he told her, "Spain awaits. Sweaty arm pits, sand in yer undies and people clicking castanets under yer nose."

"You make it sound so romantic," Alex teased.

Walking together toward the boarding gate Alex and Gene knew this was more than a holiday. It was just the start; the beginning of a whole new phase in both their lives. They'd overcome every obstacle in their paths and now here they were; husband and wife. Gene and Alex Hunt. It almost felt too good to be true, but it wasn't. It was real.

It might not have been a fairytale wedding but it had been something far better, It had been _theirs_. Wholly, unequivocally _theirs_. It hadn't been a traditional wedding but then what about their relationship or their lives actually _was?_

They were Alex and Gene, they did things their own way and they were very, deeply happy together.

Arm in arm they walked, through the departure lounge and into the tunnel that led to their plane. The Gene Genie and his posh bird were on their way to start their married lives in style with three weeks of sunshine.

Spain wasn't going to know what hit it.

**~xXx~ The End ~xXx~**

**Epilogue up tomorrow!**


	37. Epilogue: Cringes, Crims & Coincidence

**Epilogue**

Kim swivelled around in Gene's chair one, two, three times and then put her feet up on the desk with a sigh. She folded her arms behind her head and gave a contented smile. This was the life.

"As far as monday mornings go this one's got to be nine and a half out of ten," she sighed.

There was no Surrey commute, no one accusing her of being a human/robot hybrid and she had lattes on tap. Actually, she wasn't really interested in the lattes but she was utilising her authority in charge of CID to send Bammo on various missions to Latte Land either to satisfy what seemed to be a never ending appetite or to ask for various non-existent items such as rainbow paint and sky hooks.

"Hey you," the sound of Robin's voice in the doorway was about the only thing that could have made her day even better. She looked up with a smile.

"Hey," she said.

"You look far too comfortable in Gene's place," Robin told her and she put her feet back on the floor.

"Piece of piss," she said, "yell a bit. Drink some scotch. Put a few dents in the filing cabinet. That's pretty much it." Robin laughed as he walked towards her and leaned over the desk to kiss her, despite her protests. "_We're at work,_" she hissed.

"So you'll lock the office door and push me onto the desk but I can't _kiss_ you?" Robin pulled a face and laughed as the phone rang.

"Oh _god_, not _another_ one," she complained.

"Has it been a busy morning?" Robin frowned.

"No, it'll be Gene again," Kim sighed.

"Gene?"

"From the sunny shores of Spain," Kim told him, "He thinks we need a babysitter or something. Wait and see." she lifted the receiver, "CID?"

There was a moment of silence, then some strange clicks and a bleep as the Spanish phone system endeavoured to connect and finally Gene's voice barked down the line;

"_So my station is still standing then?"_

Kim groaned and ran a hand through her spikes.

"Guv, everything is still standing. The station. Your office. Your filing cabinet. Everything is fine."

"_I hope you're treating my desk with respect,"_ Gene told her, "_I heard what happened to Luigi's floor, any dents in that polished wood and you'll be hammering them out with that hedgehog on yer head."_

Kim scowled.

"Have you _really_ called all the way from Spain to insult me or can I get some work done so that you won't come back to a bunch of empty cells?" she asked.

"No, I've called to make sure there's a station to come back to," Gene told her and Kim gave a deep sigh.

"No," she said, "I've been so distracted by all these phone calls that I've accidentally booked a team of demolition experts to knock it down." She put down the phone and Robin looked at her warily.

"Uh oh," he flinched, "you just hung up on Gene."

"His filing cabinet technique might be good but it doesn't work all the way from the continent," she pointed out with a smirk.

"Well, you've got four weeks to perfect your running technique because you're going to pay for that when he gets back," Robin told her and Kim smiled.

"I'm sure I will be able to find a way to get out of it," she told him, "I'll just make sure there's an extra long line of lattes waiting when he gets back."

Robin smiled and waked back towards the door.

"Alight," he began, "well I was just stopping by to see how things were going, but you've got everything in hand. I've got to get back down to the unit, new recruit's arrived. I'll be showing him round in a bit."

"If you can wait ten minutes Bammo will be back with enough lattes to quench your entire unit, including the dogs," Kim told him and Robin smiled.

"I'll try to time my arrival just right," he said and disappeared.

Kim returned her feet to the desktop and leaned back. This was the life. She thought she could get quite comfortable in Gene's chair, given half the chance. She supposed she should probably start doing some work soon. _Maybe._

She busied herself with sorting through Gene's drawers and finding his best hiding places for future reference. She had found two bottles of scotch, a beer and three packets of chocolate biscuits by the time a knock sounded on the door and Simon peered around it.

"Morning, Guv," he said with a smile that made Kim grin.

"I actually like that better than being called Ma'am," she confided.

"I think Guv suits you better," Simon told her.

"You do?"

"You're too scary to be 'ma'am'," Simon told her cheekily and she rolled her eyes.

"In which case that is a very brave comment," she remarked, raising her eyebrow.

"Bollocks," Simon retreated but Kim laughed and shook her head.

"You're safe, come in, I won't bite."

"Yeah, it's whether you're going to pierce my other arse cheek or not I'm worried about,." Simon told her, still flinching at the memory of the first time.

"Well I haven't got my piercing kit, so you're safe," Kim told him, "I have however confiscated a large quantity of water balloons this morning so don't get too complacent!" she frowned a little as Simon sat down, looking a little off colour. "Blimey, you look like you've just heard series seven of Red Dwarf is about to be repeated," she said, "are you ill?"

"I'm not over saturday night yet," Simon admitted. He rubbed his forehead which was still throbbing. "God, I haven't drunk like that since..." he shuddered, "probably not since the night you went home," he sighed. "I spent all day yesterday nursing my head with cold flannels and drinking tea but I still want to puke and exchange my head for something less painful," he blanched, "like a spike pit from Sonic the Hedgehog."

Kim smiled as she leaned back in her chair.

"Where did you get to on saturday night, anyway?" she asked, "Rob and I just went to -" she coughed slightly, "to check the Guv's car for damage... and we went to offer you a lift home and there was no sign of you."

Simon visibly grew uncomfortable. He scratched the back of his head as he said,

"Oh, I went clubbing."

Kim's eyes widened.

"_You?_ Went _clubbing?!"_ she couldn't have been more surprised, "you barely ever even want to go with_ us."_

Simon shrugged.

"Just felt liken it," he said awkwardly.,

"Who did you go with?" Kim asked.

Simon looked away.

"No one really," he mumbled.

"Oh" Kim seemed disappointed, "I thought maybe..." she hesitated, "you _were_ talking to that barman for most of the night..."

Simon's tie felt extremely tight suddenly. He loosened it quite frantically as he said,

"Yeah... I think he was there. Yeah, he came along for a while."

"And?"

Simon wasn't sure what colour his face was but he was fairly sure it was looking redder than a certain spaceship.

"And nothing, Kim," he said, "It was OK. It was a laugh. Danced for a couple of hours, went home."

Kim stared at him expectantly, waiting for more but all Simon did was shrug.

"Did you get his number?" Kim asked, "Are you going to see him again?"

"It wasn't like that," Simon shrugged again.

"You seemed to be getting on really well."

"Yeah, we did," Simon closed his eyes momentarily, "but it was just a one-off. It wasn't like a date or anything."

Kim sighed sadly. Maybe she'd completely misread the situation.

"Sorry, Simon," she said quietly, "I just thought... you know, with the emotion of the day and everything..." she shrugged, "it would have been really nice if you'd met someone you liked. Had someone give you some attention for a while. End the night with a kiss and someone's phone number scrawled on the back of your hand."

Involuntarily Simon's eyes dropped to his hand; vague shadows of numbers still a little visible despite several washes and a shower. He covered it up with his other hand and shook his head.

"I know everyone thinks I'm some lonely wallflower but I'm not," he said quietly, "if I meet someone, then _great_, but I'm not just going to get with someone for the sake of not being alone."

"No, you're right," Kim nodded, "I'm sorry if it sounded like..." she shrugged, "like we were trying to force you into going out with someone just so you weren't alone. What was it you said to me?"

Simon's lips twitched into a distant smile.

"_Don't settle,_" he said quietly.

"That was good advice," Kim told him quietly and Simon nodded.

"There's more to me than a snazzy jumper," he said and Kim gave an explosive laugh. "Oi!" but he was laughing too, He shook his head with a sigh and a little smile. "Honestly, Kim, I know you and Rob worry about me but I don't want to go out with somebody for the sake of it. Michael was fun to talk to, doesn't mean I'm going to jump into bed with him for being the first man to give me the time of day in two years."

"Michael?" Kim repeated, "oh well, at least you got a name."

"Oh, you're _both_ here," Robin's voice pulled there attention to the doorway as he appeared quite suddenly, "just wanted to introduce the newest member of the canine unit. Michael?"

There was one heartbeat during which Simon froze completely, then another as he thought he was going to lose what he'd managed of his breakfast all over the desk. On the third heartbeat his neck snapped around and his worst nightmare became his reality.

"_Shit,"_ the word escaped before he could stop it. He wanted to cringe for letting it slip but for what it was worth Michael looked every bit as shocked as Simon felt.

"Uh," he cleared his throat, "hello again," he tried to smile but it came out crooked.

"What are you doing here?" Simon asked almost accusingly.

"I'm... starting my new job," Michael said, his voice shaky, "I told you, Saturday was my last day in the pub."

"You didn't tell me where your _new_ job was," Simon said, trying to make his voice sound light and carefree but his gritted teeth spoilt that effect.

"_Oh,"_ a look of realisation crossed Robin's face, "_that's_ why you looked familiar, Michael. Of _course_, I'd seen you in the pub on Saturday." He looked from Simon to Michael, seemingly ignorant of the growing atmosphere that filled the air. "Of course, you two know each other then. Well that's good," he turned to Michael, "at least you'll know someone."

Michael could feel his face reddening.

"Yeah," he said awkwardly, suddenly very aware that he looked a bit of a prat in his uniform, all stiff and starched, straight from the packet.

Kim looked from one to the other suspiciously.

"Well, this is a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?" she commented and Simon looked as though he wanted to fade into the floor.

"DCI Stringer is acting head of CID while DCI Hunt is away," Robin told his recruit, "she's usually responsible for the serious sexual crimes department. And DCI Shoebury is head of the Hi-Tech Crimes department. Your paths may cross from time to time."

"Looks like they already have," Kim commented, raising an eyebrow.

Michael shuffled awkwardly.

"Well," he cleared his throat, "it's nice to see you again."

Simon cleared his throat.

"Yeah," he said stiffly, "I should be getting back to work though."

"Of course," Michael hesitated, "Uh... while you're here though, I..." he hesitated, "I don't suppose I left a pair of sunglasses at yours, did I?"

Simon's eye bolted as Kim literally reeled back in her char so hard that it moved back by several inches while Robin frowned, confused.

"When was he at your -" he began before the truth slapped him in the face and his mouth fell open. "Simon, no..." he shook his head in disbelief while Michael took a moment to realise exactly what he'd said and he gave a gasp of horror.

"I -" he wasn't even sure how to finish that sentence.

"Simon?" Kim asked with a smirk, "are you _sure_ there's nothing to tell us?"

"Only that I need to get back to work with some urgency," Simon mumbled,rushing past Robin and Michael, out of the door, _"Excuse me."_

"_Simon, wait!" _Kim cried, scrambling out of her seat, "you're not getting away with it _that_ easily!" she fled past Robin and the newcomer, ignoring the fact that her phone had started to ring.

"_Kim_!" Robin cried "Kim, your _phone_ -" he trailed away as Kim's footsteps faded away and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He looked back at Michael whose face was the same colour as the strawberries sat in his fridge at home. If there was a more uncomfortable way to hear about your ex-boyfriend having a drunken one night stand then Robin couldn't think of it.

"Well," he swallowed, "this is awkward." he hesitated, looking at Michael's stricken face and feeling his own heating up. _Goddamnit_. What now? He nervously shuffled towards Kim's desk, "I'd... better answer that," he said. He didn't care who was on the line, anything to distract from the fact that Michael had managed to give Fenchurch East its single biggest piece of gossip for years within minutes of starting his job.

~xXx~

Gene reached into his swimming trunks for the loose change floating around in his pocket as the call was finally connected and the phone began to gobble up his money.

"_Hello?"_

"Stringer!" he Barked.

"_Erm, no guv, sorry,"_ the voice continued, _"It's me. Robin._"

"Batman," Gene frowned, "Should have realised. Thought the voice was a bit too feminine for Metal Mickey."

"_Hey!"_ Robin cried, more insulted for Kim than himself.

"Your robot girlfriend is taking her life in her hands hanging up on me," Gene told him. The sun was beating down on his shoulders, turning them an angry shade of pink from his refusal to wear sunscreen and the ends of his hair clung to him from the coat of perspiration across his body.

"Gene, just leave them alone, hang up and come back to the shade."

In contrast to Gene, Alex looked like something from an advert in holiday brochure; her body glistening with sunscreen, a red bikini accentuating her curves, a pair of shades perched on her nose and a large, floppy sunhat shielding her fro the heat. She had taken to the calm environment of the poolside instantly. Gene, on the other hand, was having some difficulty in switching off.

"It's not easy leaving my station in the hands of the cast of the bloody Wizard of Oz," he barked down the phone.

"_You what?" _

"Bloody Tin Man hanging up on me," Gene continued, "the scarecrow without enough brains in his head to make a bloody _speech_ without the hecklers taking over the show and the cowardly flipping lion who avoids his own department in case the mutts pull down his bloody _underpants!"_

"_Actually lions are a bit of a sore point,"_ Robin began but Gene wasn't listening.

"How can I enjoy my honeymoon when I'm worrying about Stringer implementing compulsory piercing for all?" He cried.

"_Look, Gene,"_ Robin began a little more loudly, "_your station is in good hands. It's still standing, it has not been subjected to fire, flood or impact damage and Kim is not running around, piercing people at random! Well, except for Bammo but he probably deserved it."_

"That station is my pride and joy -"

"_I thought your car was your pride and joy."_

"Me _other_ pride and joy!" Gene became aware of someone queuing behind him with increasing impatience, coughing, clearing his throat and muttering about dying of old age before he got to the phone. Gene huffed a little and turned his back a little more squarely to the stranger as he continued. "I don't know what I was thinking, leaving that _half-dalek_ in charge!"

"_Ooh, you'd better not let Kim hear you calling her that," _Robin sounded scared, _"I wouldn't put it past her to get on the next plane out with her piercing kit."_

Gene shuddered. He realised Robin was actually right. He'd thought Spain was probably the one place she was safe from her wrath. Maybe not.

"Perhaps it's best you don't mention this call to Stringer," he mumbled just as the stranger behind him cleared his throat again.

"Do you think there's any chance of you getting off the phone this side of September?" an annoyed voice asked and Gene spun around.

"I might be on me honeymoon but me fists are always primed for action," he began but froze as he found himself face to face with someone _far_ too familiar, someone whose eyes bolted in shock, someone who - without a doubt - didn't want to be face to face with DCI Gene Hunt. "_Bloody hell."_

Nick Nailer gulped.

"Big bag of bollocks," he mumbled and turned on the spot so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

The sight of one lobster-tinted middle-aged man chasing another across the crowd of sun bed-dwelling holiday makers was quite something to behold.

"_Bolly!" _Gene cried, "_Get moving!" _while Nailer yelled to a sunbathing redhead;

"_Vicky! Leg it!"_

A strange kind of law-evading Benny Hill chase began around the pool, leaving Alex sighing and shaking her head while simultaneously trying not to laugh herself silly. It was typical, she supposed, that after spending all morning worrying about the station it should be Gene who found himself in the middle of an unexpected piece of the action.

And, she realised, it was somehow fitting too. Their lives as a married couple were starting as they meant to go on.

Alex, for one, wouldn't have had it any other way.

**The End!**

**~xXx~**

_**A/N: I bet you didn't think I could do it, did you? All that fluff! It was pretty much down to the flu... the weirdest flu ever :P Still, it got the fic written which is the main thing! Thank you so much for following, not just this story but the whole series, everything that led to this point and all that will follow. I really appreciate every one of you following, whether you review or message me or follow/favourite my stories, it means so much that you're still following after all this time! Thank you!**_

_**There are some of you who I've become really close to through writing which I never expected to happen when I started – Steph, Charlotte, Jess – thank you is nowhere near enough! I also want to welcome Lucy who as of today will officially be all caught up, you just read heading towards 3 million words in about 2 months, that's mindblowing! Thank you to everyone who's left reviews and thoughts, there were a few anon reviews, I'm so sorry I can't thank you by name but I appreciate every one :)**_

_**And so from light into dark, the next story will begin tonight; a good, healthy dose of angst with a dollop of baked beans on the side. I really hope to see you there! **_


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